Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 52 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: 9 Listening Skills Every Leader Must Develop – Part 1
— From Relationships 101: What Every Leader Needs to Know by John C. Maxwell
Novelist E.W. Howe liked to joke by saying, “No one would listen to you talk if he didn’t know it was his turn next.” Sad but true, many people do not listen, they simply wait for their turn to speak. That is why the ability to develop and refine our listening skills is the basis to building positive relationships.
Listening starts with wanting to hear and paying attention, of course, but above all, Maxwell says, “A mistake that people often make… is trying very hard to impress the other person. They try to make themselves appear smart, witty or entertaining. But if you want to relate well to others, you have to be willing to focus on what they have to offer. Be impressed and interested, not impressive and interesting.”
In his book, Relationships 101, leadership guru John C. Maxwell, provides us with a list of nine skills to become better listeners. Some of these listening skills may seem very simple and intuitive, but don’t dismiss them because of that, they are part of the whole listening experience, both for the listener and for the one who is listened to:
1. Look at the speaker. “The whole listening process begins with giving the other person your undivided attention. As you interact with someone, don’t catch up on other work, shuffle papers, do the dishes, or watch television. Set aside time to focus only on the other person. And if you don’t have the time at that moment, then schedule it as soon as you can.”
2. Don’t interrupt. “Most people react badly to being interrupted. It makes them feel disrespected… People who tend to interrupt others generally do so for one of these reasons: [i.] They don’t place enough value of what the other person has to say. [ii.] They want to impress others by showing how smart and intuitive they are. [iii.] They’re too excited by the conversation to let the other person finish talking. […] Give people the time they need to express themselves.”
3. Focus on understanding. “Have you ever noticed how quickly most people forget the things they hear? Studies… indicate that most people can recall only 50 percent of what they hear immediately after hearing it. […] By the next day, their retention is usually down to 25 percent. One way to combat that tendency it’s to aim for understanding rather than just remembering the facts.”
4. Determine the need at the moment. Some people, upon listening, want to fix immediately what the other person is troubled about. Some others, however, simply want to communicate something as a way of sharing and getting it out. “Anytime you can determine the current need of the people you’re communicating with, you can put whatever they say into the appropriate context. And you will be better able to understand them.”
And there is still so much more that Maxwell shares to develop our listening skills! Please come back tomorrow as we will finish the list and learn a great story about the power of listening.
ACTION
TODAY: Think of a time when someone took the time to listen to you. What did that person do that made you feel good? Replicate that when you are listening to others.
FUTURE: Take every opportunity you can to listen to others. It’s only by practicing that we refine our skills.
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