Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 38 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: 9 Listening Skills Every Leader Must Develop – Part 2
— From Relationships 101: What Every Leader Needs to Know by John C. Maxwell
In yesterday’s post, we started to look at the nine listening skills every leader must develop. Despite them sounding and being so simple, those skills should not be dismissed, as they are what makes for a wonderful experience both for the listener and for the speaker.
Let’s continue learning the skills that John C. Maxwell offers in his book Relationships 101 so that we can become top-notch listeners:
5. Check your emotions. “Most people carry around emotional baggage that causes them to react to certain people or situations. […] Anytime that you become highly emotional when listening to another person, check your emotions—especially if your reaction seems to be stronger then the situation warrants. You don’t want to make an unsuspecting person the recipient of your venting.” Further, if something that the speaker says triggers a strong emotion in you, you should always allow others to finish explaining their points of view, ideas, or convictions before offering your own.”
6. Suspend your judgment. “Have you ever begun listening to another person to tell a story and started to respond to it before he or she was finished? Just about everyone has. But the truth is that you can’t jump to conclusions and be a good listener at the same time. As you talk to others, wait to hear the whole story before you respond. If you don’t, you may miss the most important thing they intend to say.”
7. Sum up at major intervals. “Listening is most effective when it’s active. […] For example, if you can say, ‘Cheryl, that’s obviously very important to you.’ It will help keep you on track as a listener. Get beyond, ‘That’s interesting.’ If you train yourself to comment meaningfully, the speaker will know you are listening and may offer further information. A technique for active listening is to sum up what the other person says at major intervals. As the speaker finishes one subject, paraphrase his or her main points or ideas before going onto the next one, and verify that you have gotten the right message.”
8. Ask questions for clarity. “If you want to become an effective listener… [be someone] someone who gently asks follow up questions and seeks clarification. If you show people how much you care and ask in a non threatening way, you’ll be amazed by how much they’ll tell you.”
9. Always make listening your priority. “The last thing to remember when developing your listening skills is to make listening a priority, no matter how busy you become or how far you rise in your organization.”
Maxwell shares the example of Sam Walton, the founder of Wal-Mart. “He believed in listening to what people had to say, especially his employees. He once flew his plane to Mt. Pleasant, Texas, landed, and he gave instructions to his copilot to meet him about one hundred miles down the road. He then rode in a Wal-Mart truck just so that he could chat with the driver.”
Many of us consider ourselves good listeners and consider listening a pretty easy exercise. But let’s not take it for granted. There’s always room for improvement, and good listening skills can change our lives and that of the others around them, so let’s keep refining them!
I’ll leave you with this story of Jennie Jerome, Winston Churchill’s mother. When Benjamin Disraeli and William Gladstone were competing for the position of the prime minister of the United Kingdom, she had dinner with each of them.
Afterwards, she famously said “When I left the dining room after sitting next to Gladstone, I thought he was the cleverest man in England. But when I sat next to Disraeli, I left feeling that I was the cleverest woman.”
That is the power of listening. And that is why it behooves us to always be practicing and sharpening our listening skills.
ACTION
TODAY: Which of these skills comes most naturally to you? Which one do you need to work on a bit more? Take an opportunity today to practice at work or at home.
FUTURE: Practice the Disraeli skill of making the person who is speaking feel as if he or she is the smartest one in the world.
Know someone who would like this post? Please share it with your circles via email, Facebook or Twitter, thanks!