Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 25 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Memorable networking in just 3 minutes
— From The Art of People: 11 Simple People Skills That Will Get You Everything You Want by Dave Kerpen
When we meet someone new we tend to use small talk “because it’s far more socially acceptable than asking pointed questions. But the truth is that by asking better, smarter questions, we can understand the people we meet more quickly and determine rapidly whether they’re friend or foe, a potential business partner or a mate, a future employee or casual acquaintance. Life is short. The less time we waste on the weather, the better.”
And so begins an exercise to help our networking that Dave Kerpen shares with us in his book The Art of People. The exercise is geared to getting to know the person you are meeting “better than you know many of your friends, in just three minutes with just three questions.”
Kerpen mentions he was a skeptic at first, yet once he tried it at a conference, he was convinced immediately of the effectiveness of it. Further, two years after having the conversation with a total stranger, he could still recall the details easily. That is memorable networking!
The three questions are:
- “What is the most exciting thing you are working on right now?” (1 min)
- “If you had enough money to retire and then some, what would you be doing?” (1 min)
- “What is your favorite charity organization and why?” (1 min)
As you can see, these questions bring out our passions, our dreams, and our deep emotions when we answer them. They get to the heart of what makes people tick. Thus, they are guaranteed to break the ice and get to know the other person via the stories that he/she tells. And stories are memorable and relatable.
However, there are many other questions that will produce a similar effect. Craft the ones that suit you in order to bring out the best in the people that you meet, for example, “If you weren’t doing what you do today, what would you be doing and why?” “Who’s been the most important influence on you?” “If you could choose to do anything for a day, what would it be and why?”
ACTION
TODAY: Try out these questions on someone that you meet (preferably), or someone with whom you are barely acquainted. Pay attention as to how you know each other and how the relationship changes, for the better, in less than 3 minutes. It’s a powerful exercise.
FUTURE: Keep this exercise in mind for the next time you meet new people. If you think it’s awkward to ask them these questions, blame it on us! Simply say, “ I just read this crazy [blog] that talked about asking better questions when you first meet someone. Mind if we try out a couple of these questions and each answer them?”
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