Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 37 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Whose business is this?
— From: Habit Changers: 81 Game-Changing Mantras to Mindfully Realize Your Goals by M. J. Ryan
We’ve all been in situations where colleagues or teammates are not doing their fair share of the work that has been assigned to them. Regardless of the reason for this, we’ve ended up doing their work. In the business world, especially, sometimes we fall into the trap of believing that it’s easier for us to do the work than to delegate it; or that that it will take less time and hassle for us to do the work than to train others. In both scenarios, we end up with more on our plate than we can truly handle.
“Do you often find yourself feeling responsible for other people’s behavior? Do you try to control other people’s reactions at work or at home? Have you found yourself rescuing others by doing their work for them? Making others look more responsible? Seem more approachable? Sound more reasonable?” If you have done any of this, don’t feel bad, we’ve all done it. We operate out of good will to steer things towards the best possible outcome, yet we need to let others pull their weight and we should not take the experience away from them.
M.J. Ryan, the author of Habit Changers suggests setting boundaries by asking the question, “Whose business is this?” and then figuring out the answer with Byron Katie’s method. Katie says, “There are three types of ‘business’ in the world: God’s [or nature’s] (floods, earthquakes and other random acts of nature, yours (you and your response to what life presents to you), and theirs (what is the other person’s to handle and respond to).”
Ryan further says that this simple question serves to set and clarify expectations, as it is useful in any relationship where we are deeply involved, such as when her daughter was a teenager. Asking, “Whose business is this?” helped remind Ryan that “[she] could support her [daughter], and [Ryan could] care deeply, but her [daughter’s] business [was] hers to sort out.”
So, if asking this question helps set boundaries for parents with teenagers, it will definitely do wonders for other business and life situations where life can get equally passionate and intense.
ACTION
TODAY & FUTURE: Keep this simple question handy in your mind. Ask, “Whose business is it?” when tempted to take over any situation and do the work for your loved ones, your colleagues or your teammates. The answer will give you the clarity that you need to respond to the situation in the best way possible, whether taking charge if it’s your business, or letting someone else do it if it’s their business.
Know someone who is always rescuing others and could benefit from applying today’s idea? Please share this post with that person via email, Facebook or Twitter, thank you!
P.S. I’m delighted to announce that I’m the next guest in the Creative on Purpose broadcast. Please join me next week, on April 12, 2018, at 12:00 pm EST (GMT -4) via Facebook Live. We’ll have fun talking about lifelong learning, expanding our minds, how to always keep growing and the importance of challenging ourselves continuously. Looking forward to seeing you there!