Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 55 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Are you a good receiver?
— From: Secrets of the Millionaire Mind: Mastering the Inner Game of Wealth by T. Harv Eker (read a sample)
We’ve all heard the adage it’s better to give than to receive. We bought into it and became givers—which is wonderful—but we also became very bad receivers. T. Harv Eker, personal development guru and author of Secrets of the Millionaire Mind says, “The whole idea is ludicrous. What’s better, hot or cold, big or small, left or right, in or out? Giving and receiving are two sides of the same coin. Whoever decided that it is better to give than to receive was simply bad at math. For every giver there must be a receiver, and for every receiver there must be a giver. […] Both have to be in perfect balance to work one to one, fifty-fifty. And since giving and receiving must always equal each other, they must also be equal in importance.”
Giving gives us a feeling of fulfillment like no other. We’re joyful and grateful to be able to give. But what about when we are trying to give and the other person refuses to receive? It feels terrible, doesn’t it? Now, think about those times when we are the ones that are not willing to receive.
How many times have we refused to receive something that someone wants to give us? Or taken a step further, how many times have we refused to receive something that we want to give ourselves? How many times have we said no to an opportunity and refused it because we feel we’re undeserving, not worthy, or because we have impostor syndrome? This may very well be at the subconscious level, but if you’ve ever done something to sabotage your success in big or small ways (I’m not proud to say that I’m a repeat offender in this department…) you know what I’m talking about.
Think about it for a moment. There’s a part of you that feels worthy of some things (eating, working, driving); and there’s another that doesn’t (when someone wants to give you a gift or an opportunity that is bigger than what you consider acceptable). You are living with this duality that you made up in your mind.
Eker says, “Recognize that whether you are worthy or not it’s all a made-up ‘story.’ Nothing has meaning except for the meaning we give it. […] If you say you’re worthy, you are. If you say you’re not worthy, you’re not. Either way you will live into your story. […] Only the most evolved creature on the planet, the human being, has the ability to limit itself like this. One of my own sayings is, ‘If a hundred-foot oak tree had the mind of the human, it would only grow to be ten feet tall!’ So here’s my suggestion: since it’s a lot easier to change your story than your worthiness, instead of worrying about changing your worthiness change your story. It’s a lot faster and cheaper. Simply make up a new and much more supportive story and live into that.”
How about if the new story you adopt is that of being happy and grateful to receive; willing to enjoy and make the most out of the gift; and share the joy of receiving so that others can learn to be better receivers too?
ACTION
TODAY: Give yourself a gift that in the past you wouldn’t even have considered. You can buy something if you want, but if you don’t, it doesn’t have to be a physical thing. It could be taking time from your busy schedule to walk in nature, or taking a long, contemplative bath, or giving yourself a free evening and not cleaning the kitchen tonight (hahahaha) and using that time to read your favorite book instead. You can take it up a notch and give yourself the opportunity to get to know someone: go to lunch with a colleague and don’t talk about work. Send an email to a person you admire. You’re only limited by your imagination, so make it a lovely-and-unheard-of gift from you to you. Enjoy it, no guilt, no afterthought, no remorse, just plain acceptance and gratitude. Try it!
FUTURE: Keep in mind that giving and receiving is 50-50. So, when someone wants to give you something (from a compliment to a large gift), be open to receive it and be grateful. Gifts aren’t earned otherwise they’d be called compensation. They come from the heart, and the giver always thinks that you are worthy of the gift, so it’s just you the one who needs to change your story to be a better a receiver. Change it and enjoy receiving!
Know someone who needs to learn to receive? Please share this post with that person via email, Facebook or Twitter!