by Helena Escalante | Growth, Mindset, Tools
TODAY’S IDEA:
“Don’t try to impress an invisible jury of MBA professors.”
— From Anything You Want: 40 Lessons for a New Kind of Entrepreneur, by Derek Sivers.
While Derek Sivers uses this idea in terms of being casual when hiring, and it’s fantastic that way, I think it can be extrapolated to so many other areas of life and business where perfectionism creeps up.
When you are performing an action or making a decision, and you hear the voice of your lizard brain stop and think for a moment who you are doing it for. If it’s for yourself, your family, friends, customers or clients, or for a particular intention that you’ve set, that is great. But if it’s to satisfy some invisible jury, or someone’s expectation that weighs heavily on you, or some crazy reason that someone made up to keep you abiding by the etiquette manuals of the Victorian Era… think again. You may be engaging in something that you don’t want to do and, more importantly, that you don’t need to do, simply because of an unrealistic and unnecessary expectation; or your desire to impress or placate someone that simply exists in your mind. This is what Steven Pressfield calls “resistance” or what Jon Acuff means by “perfectionism.”
I know it well because I am a recovering perfectionist. As trite as it sounds, I’ve been my own worst enemy my whole life. I always lived in fear of being inadequate because I judged my work as imperfect. I’d give up at the mere thought of starting something for fear or shame of people thinking my thoughts were crazy and my work would not be good… That invisible, very harsh jury made up of PhDs in Perfection by the University of Perfectville did not exist anywhere but in my mind.
So think twice next time you are about to do something and you hear the voice of perfectionism. Jon Acuff in Finish: Give Yourself the Gift of Done suggests a great exercise to nip in the bud what he calls our “secret rules” (limiting beliefs) by asking “Says who?”
ACTION:
Next time you hear the voice of perfectionism telling you to do or not to do something ask “says who?” and answer honestly. You will see that the invisible jury of MBA professors out to get you is just your lizard brain in disguise, and you’ll get rid of the critics in your mind!
How have you dealt with perfectionism before? What has worked for you? What hasn’t? Let me know in the comments, I’d love to learn from you!
by Helena Escalante | Growth, Leadership, Mindset, Tools
TODAY’S IDEA:
“The Platinum Rule always trumps the Golden Rule.”
— From The Art of People: 11 Simple People Skills That Will Get You Everything You Want by Dave Kerpen
We all grew up being taught the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” However, it’s very likely that at some point you did something that you thought was genuinely good and it turned out to be a mess. Yikes! Welcome to the world and to the human race. What about when someone did something that they thought was great and you were not so pleased? Ugh.
What’s the lesson here? Empathy. Dave Kerpen hits the nail in the head: “Everyone is different, and the truth is that in many cases what you’d want done to you is different from what your partner, employee, customer, investor, wife, or child would want done to him or her.” In light of this, he coined the Platinum Rule: “Do unto others as they would want done to them.”
This is the proverbial walking a mile in someone else’s shoes, yet it is so important and so true. Not until we see someone else’s perspective can we understand them. We yearn to be understood and appreciated: let’s do the same for others.
ACTION:
On any given day there are things people do that aggravate us in minor or major ways; and there are always things we do that aggravate people to a certain degree. Let’s keep this wonderful quote by Stephen M.R. Covey in mind:
“We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior.”
Hmmmmm, see the difference? Next time you are aggravated, stop and think what the intention must have been—or ask if you get a chance—and you’ll see this makes an enormous difference. Likewise, when someone doesn’t like something you did, try to explain the intention behind it and you’ll likely see the situation defuse as the other person sees where you’re coming from.
Slowly but surely, the empathy muscle will start building up when you see things from this perspective. This way you’ll also be able to take a proactive look ahead and figure out what other persons’ want or need and apply The Platinum Rule.
While this is not a recipe to avoid making mistakes, when you take a more empathic and compassionate look at our fellow human beings, you’ll see that, for the most part, we are all doing the best that we can with the mental toolkit that we have at our disposal at any given moment.
What tips can you share about empathy? Let me know in the comments, I’d love to know!
by Helena Escalante | Leadership, Planning, Resources, Tools
TODAY’S IDEA:
To get to the root cause of a problem, ask WHY five times.
I’ve read this idea in many books, and it’s brilliant! I believe it first started in the manufacturing plants of Toyota in Japan, and it soon spread widely, because it can be applied to virtually any situation, any industry, and even to personal issues where we need to get to the bottom of something.
The idea is as follows: to get to the root cause of a problem you need to ask why (an average) of five times to uncover the issue. For example, let me share a case with which I was familiar:
Problem: It seemed that an outreach campaign for a gym was not working: people were not going into the gym to use the equipment that was being promoted.
Why #1: Why are people not coming into the gym to use the equipment that is being promoted?
Answer: Because people don’t understand how to use it on their own.
Why #2: Why don’t people understand how to use the equipment on their own?
Answer: Because it’s a very particular kind of equipment that requires guidance at first to learn how to use it.
Why #3: Why don’t we offer the guidance that people need at first to use the equipment?
Answer: As a matter fact the gym offers appointments for people to come in and have their questions about the equipment answered.
Why #4: Why aren’t more people requesting to make an appointment to come in?
Answer: People do make requests to set up an appointment, but they are being turned down because trainers don’t have the time.
Why #5: Why don’t trainers have the time?
Answer: Because management never checked with them or their schedules before creating the campaign and simply expected trainers to handle the additional flow.
As you can see, it’s like peeling layers of an onion to get to the core issue. Now we see that the campaign is indeed working because people are requesting appointments to come in, but the gym—at its current staff levels—is not being able to handle the new-client inflow. It’s now up to the gym’s management to figure out the best way to solve this based on the information uncovered. Good thing we asked five times, we wouldn’t have known all this had we stopped at the first why!
This is a very simple but truly great method to get to the bottom of things. If you need more than five, keep asking why until you get to the core of the problem, that’s the only way in which you’ll find out what it is. Then you can move on to solve it, which is the best part!
ACTION:
Share this method today with your colleagues, clients and loved ones. Try testing it out on simple things and you’ll see how rewarding it is to solve some of those mysteries. Think about a problem that you faced in the past and mentally apply this method to see how you would have arrived to the bottom of it. Next time you need to solve an issue where the root cause is not clear, remember to use the five whys; and when you do, please let me know in the comments, I’d love to hear how it worked out for you!
by Helena Escalante | Goals, Mindset, Opportunity, Planning
TODAY’S IDEA:
“Plan for possibilities”
— From 168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think by Laura Vanderkam
Whenever we are about to embark on something, it’s natural to ponder all the “what ifs” as worst-case scenarios. We are trained to look at what could possibly go wrong, which is not necessarily bad (as long as we don’t get hung up on it) because it helps us organize and plan to avoid pitfalls.
However, we rarely stop and ponder the bright side of it: “what if everything comes out well, and even better?” Laura says it’s important to plan for possibilities:
“Lots of people ponder what they’d do if things went wrong. Try to spend an equal [amount of time] pondering what you’d do if things went right. If the CEO of your company called you into her office tomorrow and said she was so impressed with your work that she wanted to put you in charge of your dream project, do you know what you would ask for? If you sat next to your dream client on a flight or a literary agent in a bar, could you toss a casual pitch over peanuts?”
Think about it. Training your mind to consider positive possibilities will lead you to see all the doors that await to be opened by you and for you.
ACTION:
Take a moment to think of something that you would love to have happen to you/a project that you are working on. What would be your ideal, dream-come-true, fluffy-unicorn, cream-cheese-frosting-and-cherries-on-top outcome? Make a list. Plan for those possibilities: what part of that can you control? Don’t focus on serendipity because you cannot count on it. Focus instead on things that you can indeed do to be remarkable and to move closer to your goals. What are they? (Writing, speaking in public, launching a project, getting a new client, branding yourself better…) Make a plan over the next month to do one of these things, and the following month another, and another… soon you will see that you are advancing towards those possibilities and that when you put your mind, heart and action to it, they are within reach.
So what wonderful possibilities are there in your future? Let me know in the comments!
by Helena Escalante | Mindset, Planning, Productivity, Willpower
TODAY’S IDEA:
When you’re dreading doing something and simply can’t find the determination, mechanical action can propel you forward.
— From The Magic of Thinking Big by David J. Schwartz, Ph.D. (Read an excerpt here.)
We’ve all been there: we’re stuck. We have to do something and we simply can’t muster the will to do it. Whether it’s waking up early, working out, writing a report, calling someone, going somewhere… something is making us dread it and we want to put it off but we can’t, so we wait to make a decision, but we can’t make a decision… and time passes by… and, at best, we feel bad with ourselves but, at worst, there may be repercussions if we don’t take action. Ugh.
So what can you do to snap out of the funk immediately? Rather than wait for inspiration to strike or willpower to show up, simply take mechanical action. Put the alarm clock far away from your bed so that you have to get up (mechanical action) to turn it off (yes, I implemented this one, and apparently I’m not the only one that thinks this is a good idea, check out this alarm clock that runs away from you!). Pick up the phone and and start dialing; start putting on your socks followed by your running shoes; turn the computer on; start writing an outline of your document or presentation in a piece of paper; get in the car and put the keys in the ignition… That movement (mechanical action), no matter how small, is the push we sometimes need to get going.
ACTION:
Today is Sunday, and the leisure of the day can help look at the circumstances where we get stuck a bit more objectively and detached than when we are right in the midst of them. So this makes it a great day to think about those things that we dread on Mondays, or that we are dreading this particular week, or dreading for a project, or ______ (fill in your particulars here). Where are you stuck or where do you normally get stuck? What’s ahead of you? What do you need to get done? What kind of mechanical action will you take? Try it and let me know in the comments, I’d love to hear how you get unstuck!
