“Commitment separates the doers from the dreamers,” says John C. Maxwell in his book The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader. But what exactly is commitment? Much like success, the answer to this question is different for each person:
To the boxer, it’s getting off the mat one more time than you’ve been knocked down.
To the marathoner, it’s running another ten miles when you’re strength is gone.
To the soldier, it’s going over the hill, not knowing what’s waiting on the other side.
To the missionary, it’s saying good-bye to your own comfort to make life better for others.
To the leader, it’s all that and more because everyone you lead is depending on you.
Whatever your definition, Maxwell offers three observations about commitment:
Commitment always precedes achievement.
The only real measure of commitment is action.
In the face of opposition or hardship, commitment is the only thing that carries you forward.
And to improve commitment, Maxwell shares the following thoughts:
Measure your commitment. “Take out your calendar and your checkbook register. Spend a few hours tallying up how you spend you spend your time and how you spend your money. Look at how much time you spend at work, in service, with family, in health and recreation activities, and so forth. Figure out how much money you spent on living expenses, entertainment, personal development, and giving. All these things are true measures of your commitment. You may be surprised by what you find.”
Know what’s worth dying for. “One of the questions every leader must ask himself is, What am I willing to die for? If it came down to it, what in life would you not be able to stop doing, no matter what the consequences were? Spend some time alone meditating on that thought. Write down what you discover. Then see if your actions match your ideals.”
Use the Edison method. “If taking the first step toward commitment is a problem, try doing what Thomas Edison did. When he had a good idea for an invention, he would call a press conference to announce it. Then he’d go into his lab and invent it. Make your plans public, and you might be more committed to following through with them.”
I’ll leave you with a great story from Maxwell’s book to fuel your commitment, because it’s only you who can do that. “Former pro basketball player Bill Bradley attended a summer basketball camp at age fifteen conducted by “Easy” Ed Macauley. During that camp, Macauley made a statement that changed Bradley’s life: ‘Just remember that if you’re not working at your game to the utmost of your ability, there will be someone out there somewhere with equal ability. And one day you’ll play each other, and he’ll have the advantage.’ How do you measure up to that standard?”
And speaking of commitment, I had a crazy idea and shared it with you in another email that I sent earlier. Check out that email, and I’ll hope you’ll join me in committing to end 2018 strong!
ACTION
TODAY: Follow the exercise that Maxwell suggests to see where your commitments are based on your schedule and checkbook. What does this tell you?
FUTURE: Think about your commitments. Which ones do you love and gladly commit to them every day? Which ones do you not love, but commitment carries you through and you don’t even question them? Which ones are you half-heartedly or not-at-all committed to? Can you drop these last ones in favor of those you love? Or find someone who can do a better job than you to take over in this area, thus freeing you to commit in other areas?
Know someone who is fully committed to something? Please share this post with that person, he or she deserves recognition for being a doer, hats off! Email, Facebook or Twitter.
Hardy emphasizes that he is not suggesting you cut out every “bad” thing in your life. Almost everything is good in moderation, yet sometimes habits take the reigns of our existence.
To avoid that, precisely, is that Hardy suggests running a vice check to ensure you are in control at all times. The author explains:
I believe in testing my vices. Every so often, I go on a “vice fast.” I pick one vice, and check in to make sure I’m still the alpha dog in our relationship. My vices are coffee, ice cream, wine, and movies. I already told you about my ice cream obsession. When it comes to wine, I want to be sure I’m enjoying a glass and celebrating the day, not drowning a bad mood.
About every three months, I pick one vice and abstain for thirty days… I love proving to myself that I am still in charge. Try this yourself. Pick a vice—something you do in moderation, but you know doesn’t contribute to your highest good—and take yourself on a thirty-day wagon run. If you find it seriously difficult to abstain for those thirty days, you may have found a habit worth cutting out of your life.
There you have it. I suggest that next to the list of bad habits you started yesterday, you include a list of vices to check. And then start checking them every so often to ensure you are always in control.
ACTION
TODAY: Add a list of vices to check next to your list of habits to change. Pick a date to get started and note it on your calendar.
FUTURE: Set a 30-day period on your calendar to do your first vice check. Test it out once and see if you’d like to do it again, just as Hardy does, about four times a year.
Know someone who would like this idea? Please share this post! Email, Facebook or Twitter.
“Habits and behaviors never lie,” says Darren Hardy, entrepreneur and author of The Compound Effect. “If there’s a discrepancy between what you say and what you do, I’m going to believe what you do every time.”
Based on what we do, Hardy suggests making a list of bad or not-so-good habits that we want to eliminate. Take a good look at your actions, they speak much louder than your words. Hardy says,
If you tell me you want to be healthy, but you’ve got Doritos dust on your fingers, I’m believing the Doritos. If you say self-improvement is a priority, but you spend more time with your Xbox than at the library, I’m believing the Xbox. If you say you’re a dedicated professional, but you show up late and unprepared, your behavior rats you out every time. You say your family is your top priority, but if they don’t appear on your busy calendar, they aren’t, really.
Habits take us by the reigns unless we consciously make an effort to change them. Let’s look at five strategies to “uproot those sabotaging bad habits and plant new, positive, and healthy ones in their place.”
“Your habits are learned; therefore, they can be unlearned.”
Hardy shares some game-changing strategies, yet the overall key, he says, “is to make your why-power so strong that it overwhelms your urges for instant gratification.”
1. Identify your triggers. After you finished your list, look at the habits you want to change, and identify “The Big 4s” that trigger those habits: (1) who, (2) what, (3) where, and (4) when.
2. Clean house. “Get to scrubbin’,” says Hardy. “And I mean this literally and figuratively. Get rid of whatever enables your bad habits.” Depending on what your goal is, get rid of all the things that trigger even the slightest thought of it. For instance, he says, “If you want to eat more healthfully, clean your cupboards of all [that’s non-healthy], stop buying the junk food—and stop buying into the argument that it’s ‘not fair’ to deny the other people in your family junk food just because you don’t want it in your life… everyone in your family is better off without it.”
3. Swap it. “Look again at your list of bad habits. How can you alter them so that they’re not as harmful? Can you replace them with healthier habits or drop-kick them altogether? As in, for good.” For instance, Hardy says that he loves something sweet after eating, yet if there’s ice cream, it’ll turn into a 1200-calorie binge fest. Instead, he simply eats two Hershey’s kisses that only add 50 calories to his diet. What can you replace progressively or swap out completely?
4. Ease in. “For some of your long-standing and deep-rooted habits, it may be more effective to take small steps to ease into unwinding them. You may have spent decades repeating, cementing, and fortifying those habits, so it can be wise to give yourself some time to unravel them, one step at a time.” Hardy tells of a time when he and his wife decided to cut caffeine out of their diet. Instead of going cold turkey, he recalls, “We first went to 50/50—50 percent decaffeinated and 50 percent regular for a week. Then 100 percent decaf for another week. Then Earl Grey decaf tea for a week, followed by decaf green tea. It took us a month to get there, but we didn’t suffer even a moment of caffeine withdrawal—no headaches, no sleepiness, no brain fog, no nothing.”
5. Or jump in. “Not everyone is wired the same way. Some researchers have found that it can be paradoxically easier for people to make lifestyle changes if they change a great many bad habits at once.” Hardy tells stories of people who have come out of surgery and have changed their lifestyle and dietary habits completely. Or people who have gone cold turkey.
On these two last points, Hardy likens it to wading into a body of cold water or jumping in. Each one of us is different and we know what will work best for us. To determine this, he suggests asking yourself, “Where can I start slow and hold myself accountable?” and “Where do I need to take that bigger leap? Where have I been avoiding pain or discomfort, when I know deep down that I’ll adapt in no time if I just go for it?”
ACTION
TODAY: Make a list of the habits that you’d like to change and identify your “Big 4” triggers. Think of whether there is a way to swap it or if you prefer to eliminate it altogether.
FUTURE: Clean house and determine if you’ll ease in or jump in. Then do it. Make sure you have a strong enough WHY to help move you forward. Give yourself at least three months to ensure that the old habit is gone and that the new one is getting ingrained.
Know someone who’s trying to kick a habit? Please share this post! Email, Facebook or Twitter.
While those guidelines were great to keep in mind, the question that came up revolved around specific actions that we could take to improve our teachability. Fortunately, Maxwell foresaw this question and, in today’s post—from the same book, Success 101—he offers the following three actions to ensure we’re always growing and always cultivating and maintaining an attitude of teachability.
1. Observe how you react to mistakes. “Do you admit your mistakes? Do you apologize when appropriate? Or are you defensive? Observe yourself. And ask a trusted friend’s opinion. If you react badly—or you make no mistakes at all—you need to work on your teachability.”
2. Try something new. “Go out of your way today to do something different that will stretch you mentally, emotionally, or physically. Challenges change us for the better. If you really want to start growing, make new challenges part of your daily activities.”
3. Learn in your area of strength. “Read six to twelve books a year on leadership or your field of specialization,” says Maxwell. “Continuing to learn in an area where you are already an expert prevents you from becoming jaded and unteachable.” Besides those books in your area of specialty, I know of a blog that can help you keep learning and growing daily… 😉
Finally, I’ll leave you with a story and a thought that Maxwell tells about Tuff Hedeman, a professional bull riding cowboy at rodeos. “After winning his third world championship, [he] didn’t have a big celebration. He moved on to Denver to start the new season—and the whole process over again. His comment: ‘The bull won’t care what I did last week.’ Whether you are an untested rookie or a successful veteran, if you want to be a champion tomorrow, be teachable today.”
“The most important thing about education is appetite.” — Winston Churchill
ACTION
TODAY: I challenge you to try something new as explained above. Today go out of your way to do something that will stretch you.
FUTURE: Create the habit of challenging yourself daily. Whether it’s 5 more minutes on the treadmill at a slightly faster pace, or recalling the names of 10 of the Saturn moons, or giving a genuine and caring compliment to a colleague whom you don’t like that much (Eek… I tried this one and it’s so hard!), do whatever stretches you where you need it most on that day or that period of time.
Know someone who is always growing? Please share this post with that person: email, Facebook or Twitter. Thanks!
In yesterday’s post, we read about Dave Kerpen’s incredible story of determination. I received many great emails about this, and while most of you were in awe and somewhat encouraged by the story, there was still a little shadow of a doubt lingering as to whether such persistence would be perceived as rude.
I don’t think so. As long as you do it in a charming and polite way, always emphasizing that you are looking to add value to the person and his/her business, I think you will be fine. Just as Kerpen was.
Want further proof? Let’s take a look at what one of my favorite entrepreneurs says about persistence.
Derek Sivers is an entrepreneurial guru that I greatly admire and respect. You can read the ideas that I’ve highlighted from his book, Anything You Want: 40 Lessons for a New Kind of Entrepreneur, in these posts: 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5 (don’t miss post #5 for a good laugh from a very creative approach to customer service).
Since Sivers is a genius who has the gift of brevity and conciseness, here’s his entire piece, verbatim, on why persistence is polite:
As teenagers, we learned the hard way that if you contact someone and they don’t reply, they’re just not into you. If you keep trying, you must be a total loser.
But in the business world, it’s the opposite. If you don’t keep trying, you’re a loser!
If someone doesn’t get back to you, it probably wasn’t intentional. Everyone is busy, and their situation has nothing to do with you.
Imagine two different scenarios:
1. Someone doesn’t reply, so you get upset and decide they’re evil and clearly meant to insult you. You resent them for life, and speak poorly of them forever.
2. Someone doesn’t reply, so you assume they must be swamped in work. You wait a week, and contact them again. If still no reply, you feel sympathy that they must be really overwhelmed. You wait a week, and try again. If still no reply, you try to reach them a different way.
Now, which one was rude, and which one was polite?
There you have it. It’s simply a mind shift.
Need more? Here’s Sivers in a quick video interview (3:36 min) talking about a story of persistence and politeness. (Note: at the 1:58 min mark approx. there is one phrase—lasting 2 seconds—with strong language.)
Give yourself the gift of being persistent beyond what you ever imagine you could be. You never know what wonderful opportunities will present themselves based on your polite and charming persistence. Try out polite persistence as an experiment. Think of something that you really want but has been very hard to achieve. Once you know what this is, then determine the frequency of your persistence. Will it be daily, weekly, monthly? A combination?
If you’re still not comfortable with this, take a look at this example from Ari Meisel, in his book Less Doing More Living. He tells the following story of how he automated persistence and finally got the info he wanted. See if there’s something that you can do along these lines.
In a building where I teach, Verizon FiOS [Internet] service was supposed to be available. For three years, the Verizon website said it was available, but it wasn’t. There’s an email address that you can write to check on when FiOS will be available at a location, so I wrote to them and set up a [daily, automatic email] until they replied. Finally, after sixty-four days, someone wrote back. “Please stop your annoying reminder service. We don’t know when service will be available in your building.” I responded, “Why didn’t you tell me that sixty-three days ago?”
As you can see, all sorts of experiments can be set up to start training your persistence “muscle” if you think it needs strengthening. I’ll close this post with a great quote and with an invitation to continue to send me emails to let me know your thoughts about this or any other post.
“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not: the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.” – Calvin Coolidge
Have a story of persistence you’d like to share? Send it my way and I’ll make a compilation and publish them in a future post!
ACTION
TODAY: Figure out what your experiment in persistence will be about. Then think about what you have that no one else does. What is your equivalent of Dave Kerpen’s Radio Disney that you can leverage to your advantage over everybody else? Use this when being persistent as it will differentiate you and open many doors.
FUTURE: Try out your experiment. Set your schedule for persistence and stick to it. Remember that this is something that you really want, no matter how small or insignificant (like Meisel, he really wanted to know about the internet service in his building). Then get to work. Only by trying out persistence in little steps will you strengthen and grow it to where you will feel more comfortable shooting for bigger goals each time.
Know someone who could benefit from seeing persistence from a different angle, such as the polite one? Please share this post with them! Email, Facebook or Twitter.
It’s our choice. We can focus on finding a solution or an alternative to the initial plan, or focus on our bad luck, moan, and complain.
Totally our choice, but sometimes it’s not all that easy. In No Limits, leadership guru John C. Maxwell says, “You can’t moan and lead at the same time.” And the same goes for success, “You can’t complain and get ahead at the same time. Moaning about your troubles and moving in the right direction rarely happen together.”
One way of moving forward and avoid feeling sorry for yourself is to personalize the way you see and face adversity and annoyances. Make your point of view about this as unique as you are.
What exactly does this mean?
Maxwell tells the story of how PGA pro golfer Richard Lee handles adversity on the course. When prompted by Maxwell to share the best advice he had ever received, Lee answered, “Welcome the ball.”
Intrigued, Maxwell asked him to explain. “I play golf for a living,” Lee said. “Every shot is important to me. Any shot can either make me or break me in a tournament. Early in my career, my mother-in-law could see how, when I had a bad shot, I would get really disappointed and my negative emotions would start to fill my mind and hurt my play. One day she said to me: ‘Richard, you will always have days when you make bad shots, every golfer does. As you walk toward your ball you will have a decision to make: will I dread seeing the lie of my ball and begin filling my mind with negative thoughts and my body with negative emotions? Or will I welcome the ball and be glad I am a golfer, and realize that I have an opportunity to make a great recovery shot? If you always welcome the ball, regardless of your lie, you will more often make good recovery shots.’ ”
And ever since, wherever Lee’s ball lies, he walks up to it and welcomes the ball, thus making a great difference in his game.
This is a fantastic way of thinking about adversity in terms of making a recovery shot.
How can you personalize the way you see adversity in a way that resonates with you? How can you turn it into something that you welcome and look towards a recovery shot afterward?
“Adversity causes some men to break; others to break records.” – William Arthur Ward
ACTION
TODAY: Take some time to ponder whether you welcome the ball or you get all bent out of shape about annoyances when they happen. How can you welcome the ball?
FUTURE: Murphy’s Law says that “anything that can go wrong will go wrong.” We’ve all lived through it. O’Toole said that Murphy was an optimist… and O’Malley’s law crowns them all: “If it can’t possibly go wrong, it will.” This is not meant to be pessimistic but to share a bit of Irish popular humor to give you a good laugh. 😉 The reason why I bring this up is because, in a future, when faced with a challenge, you can ask yourself, “What’s the worse that can happen?” and then move forward. If the outcome is as bad as what you thought, you can deal with it as you had anticipated; if it’s not as bad, then all the better!
Know someone who needs to snap out of a funk? Please share this post! Email, Facebook or Twitter.
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 12 seconds.
