by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Goals, Growth, Habits, Mindset, Planning, Resolutions
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 20 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Success is predictable
— From No Excuses!: The Power of Self-Discipline by Brian Tracy
I am a big believer in the “success leaves clues” principle: whatever success means to you, there is someone who, very likely, has already achieved that which you want. And this is a wonderful thing, not only because it proves that it can be done, but also because, by virtue of this person leaving “clues,” you can follow his/her footsteps and achieve your goals.
Success, any way you define it, sometimes seems elusive and unpredictable though. That is, until now. In his great book, No Excuses!, business guru Brian Tracy says that success is indeed predictable: “Success is not an accident. Sadly, failure is not an accident either. You succeed when you do what other successful people do, over and over, until these behaviors become a habit. Likewise, you fail if you don’t do what successful people do.”
Tracy goes on to say that when you are not working “deliberately, consciously, and continuously to do, be, and have those things that constitute success for you,” you default to the path of least resistance, or to the expediency path. Neither of these two paths will lead to success, instead, they will lead to cutting corners and getting things done just to get them out of the way, but not to put in the work to do them right necessarily.
In the book, there’s a quote by H. L. Hunt, who was at some point the richest man in the world. He was asked what the secrets of his success were, to which he replied:
“There are only three requirements for success. First, decide exactly what it is you want in life. Second, determine the price that you are going to have to pay to get the things you want. And third, and this is most important, resolve to pay the price.”
Everyone wants to be successful. And one of the most important requirements is the willingness to pay the price, “whatever it is and for as long as it takes, until they achieve the results they desire,” says Tracy. “But most people are not willing to pay the price. Occasionally, they may be willing to pay part of the price, but they are not willing to pay the whole price.”
At this point you are probably wondering what the price of success is. Tracy answers, “It’s simple: Look around you. There it is! You can always tell how much of the price of success you have paid by looking at your current lifestyle and your bank account.”
One of the prices that we must pay is that of learning all we can, from the experts, so that we can follow in their footsteps before venturing out on our own. Another price to pay is the ongoing nature of our mental and physical fitness: “Achieving success is like achieving physical fitness. It is like bathing, brushing your teeth, and eating. It is something that you need to do continuously, every day. Once you begin, you never stop until your life and career are over and you have achieved all the success you desire.”
Please tell me in the comments here what other prices come to mind!
ACTION
TODAY: Determine what success looks like to you. Then determine who has achieved what you want and start following in that person’s footsteps. Has this person written a book? Or does he/she have a blog? Do they have a seminar or webinar, or an e-course? Can you write to them for an informational interview or advice?
FUTURE: Once you have determined what success looks like to you, make a plan to implement the steps that can get you there. What is the price that you will have to pay? Think, of course, in terms of money, but also in terms of time, opportunity cost, etc. It’s important to know (or at least to have an estimate up front as to what it will take) and to commit. Determine your willingness to do so and move forward.
Please share this post with someone who is doing things right and enjoying the price of success! Email, Facebook, Twitter.
by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Goals, Growth, Habits, Leadership, Mindset, Miniseries, Planning, Tools, Wellbeing
Links to other parts of the miniseries:
5 truths about attitudes
7 Axioms to understand the impact of attitude
8 Choices to change an attitude – Part 1
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 24 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: 8 Choices to change an attitude – Part 2
— From Attitude 101: What Every Leader Needs to Know by John C. Maxwell
In this last part of the attitude miniseries, John C. Maxwell continues to share his choices for changing an attitude that no longer serves us. The key, as Maxwell states in Attitude 101, is to realize that, “Who we are today is the result of choices we made yesterday. Tomorrow we will become what we choose today. To change means to choose to change.”
With that in mind, let’s take a look at the remaining five choices to change an attitude (here are the previous three choices):
Choice 4: Have the desire to change. “No choice will determine the success of your attitude change more than desiring to change. When all else fails, desire alone can keep you heading in the right direction. […] People can change, and that is the greatest motivation of all.”
Choice 5: Live one day at a time. “Any person can fight the battle for just one day. It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities, yesterday and tomorrow, that we tremble. It is not the experiences of today that drive people to distraction; it is the remorse or bitterness for something that happened yesterday and the dread of what tomorrow may bring. Let us therefore live but one day at a time—today!”
Choice 6: Change your thought patterns. “That which holds our attention determines our actions. We are where we are because of the dominating thoughts that occupy our minds. […] Our feelings come from our thoughts, therefore we can change them by changing our thought patterns. Our thought life, not our circumstances, determines our happiness.”
Choice 7: Develop good habits. “An attitude is nothing more than a habit of thought. The process of developing habits—good or bad—is the same. It is easy to form the habit of succeeding as it is to succumb to the habit of failure. Habits aren’t instincts; they’re acquired actions or reactions. They don’t just happen, they’re caused. Once the original cause of a habit is determined, it is within your power to accept or reject it.”
Choice 8: Continually choose to have a right attitude. “Once you make the choice to possess a good attitude, the work has only just begun. After that comes a life of continually deciding to grow and maintaining the right outlook. Attitudes have a tendency to revert back to their original patterns if they are not carefully guarded and cultivated.” To avoid reverting, Maxwell notes that there are three stages of change we must be aware of, and when they present themselves, we can deliberately choose the right attitude:
- Early Stage: “The first few days are always the most difficult. Old habits are hard to break. You must continually be on guard mentally to take the right action.”
- Middle Stage: “The moment good habits begin to take root. […] During this stage new habits will form that can be good or bad… the more right choices and habits you develop, the more likely other good habits will be formed.”
- Later Stage: “Complacency is the enemy… don’t let down your guard until the change is complete. And even then, be vigilant and make sure you don’t fall into old negative habits.”
I’ll leave you with one last quote from Maxwell that aptly summarizes everything that we’ve been learning about attitude:
“You are the only one who can determine what you will think and how you will act. And that means you can make your attitude what you want it to be.”
ACTION
TODAY: Yesterday you took time to think about an attitude that you want to change. Go through the remaining five choices above and determine to adopt them. Make a plan for implementing them so that you can create a new attitude that will help guide you on your way to success.
FUTURE: Keep coming back to this list of choices anytime you want to change an attitude that is no longer helpful in your quest for success. Find an accountability buddy and start choosing to implement change.
Please share this whole miniseries with someone who might be interested! Email, Facebook, Twitter.
by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Goals, Growth, Habits, Leadership, Mindset, Miniseries, Planning, Tools, Wellbeing
Links to other parts of the miniseries:
5 truths about attitudes
7 Axioms to understand the impact of attitude
8 Choices to change an attitude – Part 2
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 37 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: 8 Choices to change an attitude – Part 1
— From Attitude 101: What Every Leader Needs to Know by John C. Maxwell
Two days ago we learned the importance of a good attitude in everything we do, and yesterday we learned the impact that attitude has for us and for the people that surround us. So far so good. But what happens when we ourselves have an attitude that we want to change or lead someone who has a bad attitude?
Continuing with this attitude miniseries, John C. Maxwell, in his book Attitude 101, answers this question for us by saying, “Attitude is not permanent. If you’re not happy with yours, know that you can change. If someone you lead has a bad attitude, then you can help them to change—but only if they truly want to change. Anyone can become the kind of positive person for whom life is a joy and every day is filled with potential if they genuinely desire to.”
Cool! So how do we do this?
Maxwell goes on, “We are either the masters or the victims of our attitudes. It is a matter of personal choice. Who we are today is the result of choices we made yesterday. Tomorrow we will become what we choose today. To change means to choose to change.”
With choice being the key, Maxwell offers the following eight choices to have a great attitude:
Choice 1: Evaluate your present attitude. This process will, naturally, take some time. The main idea is to separate yourself from your attitude: “The goal of this exercise is not to see the ‘bad you’ but a ‘bad attitude’ that keeps you from being a more fulfilled person.” This is the same as being aware when you have a cold that you are not a cold. Only when you identify the problem can you then cure it and, for that purpose, Maxwell gives us the following points as guidance:
- Identify problem feelings: “What attitudes make you feel the most negative about yourself?”
- Identify problem behavior: “What attitudes cause you the most problems when dealing with others?”
- Identify problem thinking: “We are the sum of our thoughts… What thoughts consistently control your mind?”
- Secure commitment: “The choice to change is the one decision that must be made, and only you [or the person willing to change] can make it.”
- Plan and carry out your choice: “Act on your decision immediately and repeatedly.”
Choice 2: Realize that faith is stronger than fear. “The only thing that will guarantee the success of a difficult or doubtful undertaking is faith from the beginning that you can do it. […] Change depends on your frame of mind. Believe that you can change. Ask your friends and colleagues to encourage you at every opportunity. And if you are a person of faith, as for God’s help.”
Choice 3: Write a statement of purpose. “In order to have fun and direction in changing your attitude, you must establish a clearly stated goal. This goal should be as specific as possible, written out and signed, with a time frame attached to it. The purpose statement should be placed in a visible spot where you see it several times a day to give you reinforcement.” To attain your goal you must do these three things:
- Write specifically what you desire to accomplish each day. What are the obstacles your must overcome? What resources will you need?
- Verbalize to an encouraging friend what you want to accomplish each day. “Belief is inward conviction and faith is outward action.” Your accountability buddy should both encourage you and keep you on track.
- Take action on your goal each day. “The difference between a wise man and a foolish one is his response to what he already knows: A wise man follows up on what he hears, while a foolish man knows but does not act. To change you must take action.”
Please come back tomorrow to read the rest of the choices, you don’t want to miss Maxwell’s insights!
ACTION
TODAY: Make some time to think about an attitude that you want to change. Remember that choice is key. Are you truly willing to change? Then start putting into practice these three choices.
FUTURE: Come back tomorrow to read the rest of the choices! You’ll learn where feelings come from, how to change them, and the link between habits and attitudes, among other things.
Please share this post with your encouraging friend from Choice 3! Email, Facebook, Twitter.
by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Goals, Growth, Habits, Leadership, Mindset, Miniseries, Planning, Tools, Wellbeing
Links to other parts of the miniseries:
5 truths about attitudes
8 Choices to change an attitude – Part 1
8 Choices to change an attitude – Part 2
Estimated reading time: 4 minutes, 0 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: 7 Axioms to understand the impact of attitude
— From Attitude 101: What Every Leader Needs to Know by John C. Maxwell
Yesterday we learned five truths about attitudes. We also learned that a good attitude does not guarantee success, but a bad one definitely guarantees failure.
At this point, very likely, you are nodding affirmatively because you know a good attitude vs. a bad one when you see it. But, can you describe what attitude is? John Maxwell, author of Attitude 101, says, “Attitude is an inward feeling expressed by behavior. That is why an attitude can be seen without a word being said. Haven’t we all noticed ‘the pout’ of the sulker, or the ‘jutted jaw’ of the determined? Of all the things we wear, our expression is the most important.”
“For some, attitude presents a difficulty in every opportunity; for others it presents an opportunity in every difficulty.”
Maxwell was intrigued by the fact that attitude can make or break individuals, so he put together seven axioms to help us better understand how attitude impacts a person’s life.
1. Our attitude determines our approach to life. “We are individually responsible for our view of life. […] But almost daily we witness jobs that are held but hated and marriages that are tolerated bur unhappy, all because people are waiting for others, or the world, to change instead of realizing that they are responsible for their own behavior.”
2. Our attitude determines our relationship with people. “All of life is impacted by our relationships with people, yet establishing relationships is difficult. You can’t get along with some people, and you can’t make it without them. That’s why it’s essential to build proper relationships with others in our crowded world.” It is very important to lead with empathy: to have an attitude that places others first, that sees people as important, that walks a mile in their shoes, and that reflects their point of view.
3. Often our attitude is the only difference between success and failure. “There is very little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.”
4. Our attitude at the beginning of a task will affect its outcome more than anything else. “Most projects fail or succeed before they begin… The right attitude in the beginning ensures success at the end. You are acquainted with the saying ‘All’s well that ends well.’ An equal truth is ‘All’s well that begins well.’ […] Many times we have been guilty of viewing our future challenges as the sunset of life rather than the sunrise of a bright new opportunity.”
5. Our attitude can turn our problems into blessings. “In Awake, My Heart, J. Sidlow Baxter wrote, ‘What is the difference between an obstacle and an opportunity? Our attitude toward it. Every opportunity has a difficulty and every difficulty has an opportunity.’ ”
6. Our attitude can give us an uncommonly positive perspective. “An uncommonly positive perspective is able to help us accomplish some uncommon goals.” Maxwell cites the story of David and Goliath. Upon seeing the giant warrior Goliath, his opponents thought He’s so big we’ll never kill him. Whereas David, a young shepherd, looked at him and thought, He’s so big I can’t miss. Individuals who approach life from an entirely positive perspective are not always understood, as they won’t settle for what is “normal or accepted” in terms of limitations. “Certainly they have limitations. Their gifts are not so plentiful that they cannot fail. But they are determined to walk to the very edge of their potential and the potential of their goals before accepting defeat.”
7. Your attitude is not automatically good because you are a religious person. Maxwell mentions that sins “are all matters of attitude, inner spirit, and motives. Sadly, many people of faith carry with them inner-spirit problems.” The problems are further accentuated when they confuse a poor attitude with righteousness, and nothing could be further from the truth.
ACTION
TODAY: Take a moment to evaluate your attitudes against these seven axioms. Within the spectrum of each axiom, where do you fall? Jot down some actions that you can take to turn your attitude into a more positive one.
FUTURE: As with any other skill, a positive attitude can be learned. Be mindful of the truths we talked about in yesterday’s post and in today’s axioms, and keep them in mind. Practice makes (not perfect but) permanent. And the more you practice, the more you will enjoy the ride. Maxwell says, “The future not only looks bright when the attitude is right, but also the present is much more enjoyable. The positive person understands that the journey of success is as enjoyable as the destination.”
Please share this post with someone who has a bright and wonderful attitude, they’ll be grateful! Email, Facebook, Twitter.
by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Growth, Habits, Leadership, Mindset
Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 49 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Remember the “luxuries” you no longer have
— From LEAD RIGHT by Steve Ventura
In his clever and funny style (read this other post), Steve Ventura, author of LEAD RIGHT, states that when we become leaders, we lose some of the “luxuries” that we had before. Those “luxuries” that he refers to, are “ways of thinking and acting that only non-leaders can exercise and enjoy.”
These tongue-in-cheek luxuries are everything that a leader is not. The opposite is true: “The mindsets and behaviors [that these lost luxuries] represent are the essence of leadership. More than anything else, they are what separate leaders from followers… they are what separate poor leaders from great ones.” So, here is the list, verbatim, of those lost, so-called lost luxuries.
As a leader, you no longer have the luxury of…
…thinking mostly about yourself—putting your own needs first.
…acting on feelings, rather than facts—jumping to conclusions and reacting in a “knee-jerk” fashion.
…whining to others or commiserating with their discontent.
…forming opinions and making judgments knowing only “one side of the story.”
…continually blaming “them” and “they”—and expecting someone else to fix what’s broken.
…not listening to others’ ideas, concerns, and opinions.
…taking sides, overtly favoring some people, and excluding others.
…wearing your emotions “on your sleeve.”
And as a leader, you no longer have the luxury of…
…closing your eyes or walking away when things happen that just aren’t right.
ACTION
TODAY: Give yourself some time to ponder the list above. While Ventura puts it in a funny way for us to better absorb it, analyze your thoughts and actions, and recognize if you’ve acted like this in the past. Analyze why. Ask why 5 times. Get to the core of the issue and learn from it, so that you can no longer give yourself that luxury in the future.
FUTURE: Keep this list handy and check it often, remember that you can no longer engage in those luxuries, and that is a great thing! Share the list with your circles, we are all leaders in one way or another, and we should all lose these luxuries in exchange for a better, gentler and more empathic way of treating each other.
Know someone who would enjoy reading this post? Please share it via email, Facebook or Twitter, thanks!
by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Growth, Habits, Leadership, Mindset, Tools, Wellbeing
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 3 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: How to give yourself good feedback
— From What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful by Marshall Goldsmith
Marshall Goldsmith, author and success coach to top CEOs, talks about the importance of receiving feedback. While feedback usually comes from others, in What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, Goldsmith shares a simple technique by which we can give good and reliable feedback to ourselves to create lasting change.
Sounds too good to be true? Wait until you see how easy—yet how profound—this technique is. It’s all about completing a sentence. Here’s how it works:
Pick one thing that you want to get better at. It could be anything that matters to you—from getting in shape to giving more recognition to lowering your golf handicap. Then list the positive benefits that will accrue to you and the world if you achieve your goal. For example, “I want to get in better shape. If I get in shape, one benefit to me is that…” And then you complete the sentence.
It’s a simple exercise. “If I get in shape, I will… live longer.” That’s one benefit. Then keep doing it. “If I get in shape, I’ll feel better about myself.” That’s two. “If I get in shape, I’ll be a better role model for my family and friends.” And so on until you exhaust the benefits.
At this moment, you are probably wondering what makes this so special. Goldsmith points out that the interesting part of this exercise is that, “as you get deeper into it, the answers become less corporately correct and more personal.”
You start off by saying, “If I become better organized, the company will make more money… my team will become more productive… other people will enjoy their jobs more… and so on.” By the end, however, you’re saying, “If I become more organized, I’ll be a better parent… a better spouse… a better person.”
And so it is that by digging or peeling layers (quite similar to the 5 Whys), we get to the core issue, that is, what is really important to us. Only then, can we find the real reason—the one that motivates and inspires us—to change for the better.
Goldsmith recalls a story of a general in the U. S. Marine Corps who wanted to “become less judgmental.” At first, his resistance was obvious as he completed the first instance cynically by saying, “ If I become less judgmental, I won’t have so much trouble dealing with the clowns at headquarters.” The second answer was quite sarcastic too. By the third one, he had diminished the intensity of the sarcasm. Goldsmith says that by the sixth sentence he was tearing up: “If I become less judgmental, maybe my children will talk to me again.”
When you go deep is when you know that this exercise is working. In the words of Goldsmith: “As the benefits you list become less expected and more personal and meaningful to you, that’s when you know that you’ve given yourself some valuable feedback—that you’ve hit on an interpersonal skill that you really want and need to improve. That’s when you confirm that you’ve picked the right thing to fix.”
ACTION
TODAY: Set up some time aside in your calendar to do this sentence-completion exercise. It will give you important feedback as to what you need to change.
FUTURE: Keep this exercise handy so that you can do it when you need to give yourself good feedback. That way you will be able to change a habit or a behavior that is no longer serving you.
Please share this post to let someone in your circles know how they can give themselves good feedback for lasting change! Email, Facebook, Twitter.
