by Helena Escalante | Celebration, Goals, Leadership, Mindset, Opportunity
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 43 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA:
Give Yourself an A.
— From The Art of Possibility: Transforming Professional and Personal Life, by Rozamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander.
Because we live in an ultracompetitive society, we are constantly comparing our results to others and others’ results to ours. The result? Disappointment that we don’t measure up or that others don’t measure up to our standards, with the consequent anxiety, despair, and a bunch of other symptoms caused by this unnecessary stress. However, Ben and Roz Zander in The Art of Possibility rightly state that all of the labels we assign are merely human inventions, “so we might as well choose to invent something that brightens our life and the lives of the people around us.”
As such, they describe a fascinating tactic, the practice of giving an A*: “It’s a shift in attitude that makes it possible for you to speak freely about your own thoughts and feelings while, at the same time, you support others to be all they dream of being. The practice of giving an A transports your relationship from the world of measurement into the universe of possibility.”
You can give yourself an A, and you can also give it to “anyone in any walk of life—to a waitress, to your employer, to your mother-in-law, to the members of the opposite team, and to the drivers in traffic… This A is not an expectation to live up to, but a possibility to live into.”
Ben Zander, who serves as musical director of the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra and the Boston Philharmonic Youth Orchestra (on the date of publication of this post) says that he gives all students in his class an A at the beginning of the course in exchange for writing him a letter (within the following two weeks and postdated at the end of the course) in which each student should detail “the story of what will have happened to [him/her by the end of the course] that is in line with this extraordinary grade. [The students] are to place themselves in the future, looking back, and to report on all the insights they acquired and milestones they attained during the year as if those accomplishments were already in the past.” In the letter, Zander wants them to highlight, and is especially interested in, “the person [the student] will have become [by the end of the course]… the attitude, feelings, and worldview of that person who will have done all she wished to do or become everything he wanted to be.”
“I tell them I want them to fall passionately in love with the person they are describing in their letter.”
So why not give ourselves an A today and see what happens? And how about giving it to the people that surround us? Let’s give it a try, for all we know, we may make our corner of the world a much better place!
ACTION
TODAY: Write yourself a letter explaining why you’re giving yourself an A, and date it a year from today. Describe who you will have become and why a year from now. Fall passionately in love with the person you are describing in the letter. Go make it happen!
FUTURE: Every time you find yourself unnecessarily stressed or in a pickle about something, give yourself and the people involved in it an A (no letters involved here, you can simply give them an A in your mind). See how your attitude changes. Ask yourself, “What happens if we pretend that this isn’t hard?” It’s game changing!
In my mind and in my heart you are all As, and my wish for you is to always dwell in possibility and marvel at yourself and others. I am so grateful for you being with me on this journey: EntreGurus is celebrating one month, and we have so much more to share, woo-hoo!!
Please let me know in the comments the ideas that EntreGurus has sparked in you! And a favor, please: help me share these ideas with more people via email, Facebook or Twitter. Thank you!
NOTES:
* For our international gurupies**: Grades in school in the United States are measured in a scale of A to F, with A being the highest and best grade a student can get. In other countries this would be the equivalent of 10 or 100. Simply substitute the A in this case for the highest and best grade that students can get in your country and this tactic will immediately resonate with you!
** Gurupie = blend of guru and groupie = how we fondly refer to the EntreGurus’ community, because we all follow the ideas of the gurus.
by Helena Escalante | Celebration, Goals, Leadership, Mindset
Neil Gaiman*
TODAY’S IDEA:
We all have impostor syndrome.
— From an anecdote in The Official Neil Gaiman Tumblr
Happy Valentine’s Day! Today is the day of love and friendship, and I hope you celebrate it with your loved ones.
As busy professionals, we are constantly juggling many priorities, and focused always on other people. We seldom stop to appreciate our efforts, to love and thank ourselves for what we do, and to celebrate our wins.
Why do we tend to neglect ourselves this way? Very likely because we suffer from impostor syndrome: we attribute our accomplishments to luck or some other factor as opposed to our efforts, and we fear that somehow, someway, we will be exposed as a “fraud” because we are not qualified or good enough to do what we do. Hmmm, sounds familiar?
The term impostor syndrome was coined by Pauline R. Clance who observed that “it’s not a syndrome or a complex or a mental illness, it’s something almost everyone experiences” and we need to “understand [that we] are not isolated in this experience.”
I know I battle impostor syndrome every single day (especially before hitting the send button on my daily emails!). And since I’m guessing that you might likely belong to this same club, I want to share this wonderful anecdote from Neil Gaiman, the famous English author, with you:
«Some years ago, I was lucky enough invited to a gathering of great and good people: artists and scientists, writers and discoverers of things. And I felt that at any moment they would realise that I didn’t qualify to be there, among these people who had really done things.
On my second or third night there, I was standing at the back of the hall, while a musical entertainment happened, and I started talking to a very nice, polite, elderly gentleman about several things, including our shared first name. And then he pointed to the hall of people, and said words to the effect of, “I just look at all these people, and I think, what the heck am I doing here? They’ve made amazing things. I just went where I was sent.”
And I said, “Yes. But you were the first man on the moon. I think that counts for something.”
And I felt a bit better. Because if Neil Armstrong felt like an imposter**, maybe everyone did. Maybe there weren’t any grown-ups, only people who had worked hard and also got lucky and were slightly out of their depth, all of us doing the best job we could, which is all we can really hope for.»
This anecdote is beautiful because it illustrates that no matter who we are and what we’ve done, big or small, we ALL feel the same way. We’re in awe of others’ accomplishments and doubt ours. Let’s embrace our shared human nature today, Valentine’s Day, and besides celebrating our love for others, let’s celebrate, thank, and love ourselves too.
ACTION
TODAY: I completely understand that this idea of celebrating our accomplishments and loving ourselves makes some of us squirm. Make this as big or as small a celebration as you feel comfortable: throw a party, or just meditate for 3 minutes, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that today you take a bit of time to think and give yourself credit for the things that you have accomplished. If you suspend any and all judgment as you’re doing this, a flash flood of gratitude will come pouring in.
FUTURE: Make this a habitual practice: as much or as little, and as often as you can (I strongly suggest though, getting out of your comfort zone in terms of frequency and intensity). Surround yourself with a circle of trusted people where you can be open about your accomplishments and where they will celebrate your wins and cheer for you.
And remember that I’m here cheering for you too! 🙂
*Photo: Kyle Cassidy [CC BY-SA 3.0] via Wikimedia Commons
** Impostor vs. imposter? Both are correct!
by Helena Escalante | Celebration, Growth, Leadership, Mindset
TODAY’S IDEA:
We’re all weird: Weird is your superpower.
— From We Are All Weird: The Myth of Mass and The End of Compliance by Seth Godin
This is a brief but powerful book. As most of the things that Seth Godin writes, it’s simply brilliant. He walks us through a bit of history to understand how we were put inside a box and told to conform to the mass so that we could be labeled as “normal.” Anybody else who did not want to play in that box was considered “weird.” Those at the fringes, the so-called weird, are those whom we now revere and admire: think of a virtuoso today who, as a child, practiced a musical instrument with gusto all the time instead of going out to play. That was considered weird, but it turned out beautiful for the benefit of all involved.
Seth’s definition of weird in this instance is not the negative connotation that we usually associate with the word—by no means. Instead he defines it as: “weird by choice… people who have chosen to avoid conforming to the masses, at least in some parts of their lives.” Weird are those who fly against “the culture of mass and the checklist of normal.” Further, he says “the epic battle of our generation is between the status quo of mass and the never-ceasing tide of weird.”
In this sense, what we are today is far from normal: we’re all happily weird. And I’d like to take this one step forward and declare that your chosen weird (or a combination of all your choices of weird) is what makes you unique and what gives you your superpower. And through your superpower you create impact and give others implicit permission to follow in your footsteps and become their own choice of weird. Like the flame of a candle lighting up other candles, without ceasing to give light by itself.
Make a choice. Choose “an identity and follow a path that matters.” Being your weird self is beautiful. Celebrate it. Embrace it. “We’re at our best when we’re weird and when we’re enabling others to become weird as well.”
Call it weird as Seth does: you are as unique as a snowflake, and always remember that no one does YOU better than YOU. I’ll leave you with Oscar Wilde’s great quote:
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
ACTION:
TODAY: Figure out in which ways you are weird and how this superpower enables you to change your corner of the world for the better. Commit to stop hiding your superpower and embrace it. If you share it with us we will all be better for it.
FUTURE: Weird of the world, unite! Find a tribe where you can belong, or create one that you can lead with your superpower. Engage and share your weirdness. How can your superpower change the world? Here’s a beautiful quote to get you inspired: “Everybody can be great. Because anybody can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subject and your verb agree to serve…. You don’t have to know the second theory of thermodynamics in physics to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.
by Helena Escalante | Celebration
EntreGurus is celebrating 10 days since launching, WOO-HOO!
Thank you for being part of the community during these 10 days, and hope you are enjoying the daily ideas. Congrats to you too for investing the time, heart and mind to create the best version of yourself with the ideas of EntreGurus!
Join the EntreGurus community and let me know what topics or books you’d like me to write more about, I’ll be happy to do so.
Cheers to many more ideas!
Helena
Your Chief Bookworm Officer 🙂
