by Helena Escalante | Goals, Mindset, Opportunity, Planning
TODAY’S IDEA:
“Plan for possibilities”
— From 168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think by Laura Vanderkam
Whenever we are about to embark on something, it’s natural to ponder all the “what ifs” as worst-case scenarios. We are trained to look at what could possibly go wrong, which is not necessarily bad (as long as we don’t get hung up on it) because it helps us organize and plan to avoid pitfalls.
However, we rarely stop and ponder the bright side of it: “what if everything comes out well, and even better?” Laura says it’s important to plan for possibilities:
“Lots of people ponder what they’d do if things went wrong. Try to spend an equal [amount of time] pondering what you’d do if things went right. If the CEO of your company called you into her office tomorrow and said she was so impressed with your work that she wanted to put you in charge of your dream project, do you know what you would ask for? If you sat next to your dream client on a flight or a literary agent in a bar, could you toss a casual pitch over peanuts?”
Think about it. Training your mind to consider positive possibilities will lead you to see all the doors that await to be opened by you and for you.
ACTION:
Take a moment to think of something that you would love to have happen to you/a project that you are working on. What would be your ideal, dream-come-true, fluffy-unicorn, cream-cheese-frosting-and-cherries-on-top outcome? Make a list. Plan for those possibilities: what part of that can you control? Don’t focus on serendipity because you cannot count on it. Focus instead on things that you can indeed do to be remarkable and to move closer to your goals. What are they? (Writing, speaking in public, launching a project, getting a new client, branding yourself better…) Make a plan over the next month to do one of these things, and the following month another, and another… soon you will see that you are advancing towards those possibilities and that when you put your mind, heart and action to it, they are within reach.
So what wonderful possibilities are there in your future? Let me know in the comments!
by Helena Escalante | Goals, Networking, Planning, Productivity, Time
TODAY’S IDEA:
Be intentional with your networking efforts.
From Build Your Dream Network: Forging Powerful Relationships in a Hyper-Connected World by J. Kelly Hoey.
Networking… an activity that most people dread. Yet networking does NOT have to be dreadful and, on the contrary, it can be wonderful if you focus on making it intentional, meaningful and purposeful. The rules of networking are generosity and trust and, if we follow them, we’ll create meaningful connections.
Give yourself the opportunity to really connect with the people who can help you, and you will find a way to help them too, preferably before they help you. Goes without saying, but it’s very important to treat everybody kindly and respectfully. Be of service to them, offer something of value, enjoy their company if you can, celebrate their wins, open doors and make introductions for them, point them to a resource they need, or simply give them the gift of your enthusiasm and gratitude. Remember Zig Ziglar’s quote:
“You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help other people get what they want.”
Be intentional as to the people that you want to meet and “avoid random acts of networking.” Kelly Hoey advises to focus instead on “networking as a way to go about solving problems.” “People open doors, write checks, and extend opportunities—always have. Need something? Turn to your immediate, trusted network of friends for recommendations.”
Look back at a time when you first met the people who you now call friends, colleagues and acquaintances. How did you get to be where you are today in terms of a relationship with them? How long did it take? Solid relationships take time to build (months, years) and social media is no different. On the contrary, it’s where the principles of generosity and trust are of utmost importance nowadays as we tend to forget that behind every email and every social media account there is a person just like us.
ACTION:
Be intentional and make a plan for your networking efforts in the near future. Implement it and tweak as you go along until you are comfortable with it (and it becomes a win-win for both parties in the long run). Yes, your plan can be in the back of a napkin—it doesn’t have to be elaborate—the goal is to think this through so that you can take all the steps needed to make it happen. And by virtue of planning you’ll save lots of time and heartache. Here are some pointers:
- Who do you want to meet to reach a particular goal?
- What do you need to do to communicate and ultimately meet that person? (Meeting can be virtual.)
- Or who can help open doors to get you closer, or introduce you directly to that person?
- How can you show gratitude to the “door opener”?
- How can you be helpful or of service to the person you want to meet?
- When do you need to meet this person by? Is there enough time to build a relationship or do you need to take another route?
- How much time and effort are you willing to put into meeting and forging a relationship with this new person? (The answer will dictate what kind of relationship you can have, ranging from an email, to a friendship, to a job, etc.)
Let me know if you have any questions in the comments below, I’ll be happy to answer them and help you with your plan. Best of luck with your networking!
by Helena Escalante | Goals, Planning, Productivity, Time
TODAY’S IDEA:
Create a not-to-do list.
— From Finish: Give Yourself the Gift of Done by Jon Acuff.
In his very funny and witty style, Jon Acuff call this “Choose what to bomb.” We all have 24 hours in a day and the truth is that whenever we say “yes” to doing something, that means that we are saying “no” to something else. It’s that simple.
However, if you’re a people pleaser like me, this gnaws at your soul because you try to do everything. Sorry to break it to you but you CAN’T do it all. “The only way to accomplish a new goal is to feed it your most valuable resource: time. And what we never like to admit is that you don’t just give time to something, you take it from something else. To be good at one thing you have to be bad at something else.”
Being specific about what we are going to be bad at is called “Strategic Incompetence.” Is there something about your life or business that you can put on hold temporarily or give up permanently so that you can free up time for your goals?
My friend Lisa Guida also shared with me this idea of the not-to-do list a while back, and now that I see a similar concept in Jon’s book, I’m putting it into practice.
Here’s my list of major not-to-do’s:
- I don’t watch TV shows (but I do watch a movie every now and then with my husband, as that is something that we both enjoy).
- I don’t do other social media than Linked In, Twitter, and Facebook.
- I don’t iron clothes. (Long live the cleaners!)
- I avoid meetings as much as I can. I always try to find an alternative to attending a meeting (although I don’t always succeed, and yes, once in a while—when well run—they may be helpful and informative, but for the most part I find them to be a waste of time.)
And this last point brings me to a variation of this idea that Jon mentions: “If [saying no] makes you feel uncomfortable, or if stopping an activity is not possible, simplify instead.” Sometimes it’s just not realistic to avoid or get rid altogether of certain things/activities/people. Can you simplify? Can you do away with less?
I’m also thinking that on our daily to-do lists, we can add a not-to-do section with a few daily no’s, or daily simplifications, such as, no Twitter today, or no Twitter until 7 pm, or no Twitter except during lunchtime.
ACTION:
Define 3 things that will go in your not-to-do list, or find a way to simplify them. What did you decide to bomb? Why? Let me know in the comments!
by Helena Escalante | Goals, Planning, Willpower
TODAY’S IDEA:
Will power lowers/depletes at the end of the day and needs to be recharged.
— Many books talk about the results of the studies around this concept. Read more about this here and here.
Several fascinating studies have found out that willpower is like a muscle, and that after resisting many temptations—big and small—it fatigues throughout the day. “If you’ve ever willed yourself to be diplomatic with an infuriating colleague or forced a smile through your in-laws’ extended visit, you’ve probably discovered that social interactions often demand self-control. Indeed, research shows that interacting with others and maintaining relationships can deplete willpower.” (Source.)
Why is this important to know? Because when you are trying to reach your goals that include resisting something (i.e. going on a diet and resisting dessert, or staying positive as you collaborate on a project with negative colleague, or if you have Mr. Picky Splithairs as a client…) you need to schedule those activities for times when you have ample willpower and/or allow time to “recharge” your willpower before and after the event where you’ll find yourself resisting.
ACTION:
Figure out the times and situations that make you deplete your reserves of resistance faster, and make a plan (doesn’t have to be elaborate) to avoid those situations altogether if you can, or recharge your “willpower reserves” before and after the depleting event. Remember that YOU set the rules here, so no worries if your ritual for recharging sounds weird, if it works for you, that’s all you need!
Let me know your plans in the comments below, I’d love to learn what works for you!
by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Goals, Growth, Habits, Mindset, Planning, Time, Tools
Estimated reading time: 7 minutes, 57 seconds. → This is a special post to kick off the New Year. It’s longer than the regular daily ones (that you can read in under 5 min), but my hope is that it will spark some ideas and propel you into action.
I will NEVER make New Year’s Resolutions again…
December 31st used to roll around, I’d make tons of great-sounding resolutions, and anytime between late January 1st and January 8th, they would be gone: #resolutionfail. I’d feel like a failure, throw my hands in the air and resign my self to feel like a loser.
Not anymore! Resolutions don’t work for me—and I guess they don’t work for most other people—because they are merely feel-good wishes. But let’s reframe for a second here: what if we take those wishes and turn them into actions by converting them into SMART goals?
SMART is an acronym that is used for setting goals, it stands for:
S – Specific
M – Measurable
A – Achievable
R – Realistic
T – Timebound
So let’s run through each one of these points to turn a resolution into a goal:
One of my resolutions was to “exercise more.” While that sounds great in principle, it’s setting me up for failure because it’s broadly defined. What does exercise and more mean?
S – Specific
Set your goal in as much detail as possible. In my case: I will do some form of aerobic exercise for 30 minutes a minimum of 5 days per week. My 2 faves are jogging and cycling, but I may change them for variety once in a while: elliptical, stairclimber, swimming, etc., depending on where I am and how much time I have. I will do some form of resistance exercise for 15 to 20 min a minimum of 3 days per week. This can be free weights, body weight exercises or using some sort of equipment at the gym.
M – Measurable
How will you know when you have succeeded? Specify what you are going to measure, that way you will know when you have reached your goal, big or small. By stating that I will do 30 min aerobic exercise a minimum of 5 days per week, I know what I need to schedule and I’ve set a measure for accountability and success. Same with the weights/resistance exercise for 15-20 min at minimum of 3 days per week.
A – Achievable
Can you meet this goal? Given my schedule and time constraints, this sounds like it’s indeed a doable goal. However, I will give myself the gift of flexibility and test it out. If, for some reason, my circumstances change as the year progresses and the goal becomes too hard or too easy, I will allow myself to revisit and fine-tune so that the goal becomes achievable for me again.
Remember that these are YOUR goals, and the more accommodating you are to making them happen, the more you will participate in them and enjoy them.
Peter Shankman in his book Faster Than Normal talks about setting up fail-safes so that you can guarantee that you can get done what you need to get done. A fail-safe is simply a process that you set up so that if A fails, then B kicks in to fix A or to make sure A gets done. Let me give you an example.
Let’s say that I want to get up early to exercise. I set up my alarm clock and when it goes off in the morning I hit snooze. My plan to get up has failed. But what if I also set up the alarm on my phone to go off at the same time as my alarm clock AND leave the phone outside my bedroom? That ensures that I will get up from my slumber to turn it off. And I will jump out of my bed really fast since I don’t want the alarm from my phone to disturb my husband’s sleep. So that ensures I’ll be up… might as well go exercise.
R – Realistic
Given your constraints, can your goal be attained? The expectations you set must be based on reality. My goal is certainly realistic given my fitness level and my work/time constraints. I’m not setting myself up for failure by wanting to go from zero to running a marathon in one week or some other non-realistic goal.
This point is key, because it is here where our wishful thinking can derail us as we start the New Year with grand hopes and expectations for us. Allow yourself to set big goals, but break them down into realistic bite-sized pieces so that you can complete one at a time. Consistency is better than perfection anytime. And remember that there will come a day, or two, or twelve (!)… when you will want to give up. STOP. Do. Not. Give. Up.
The weather may be ugly. Or you have bad hair day. Or you just aren’t seeing the progress you anticipated. Or. Or. Or… Just remember Woody Allen’s quote on those days: “Eighty percent of success is showing up.” And since you showed up, might as well do what you needed to do anyway.
OR… and this a big one… if you are not going to fulfill that day’s habit, then renegotiate the promise you made with yourself. OK, so no exercise today because there is a cloud in the sky (or insert excuse here) and you will simply take it back on again tomorrow. Deal. And this is OK too. Just make sure that you learn a lesson from that missed date. Perhaps you are tired because you didn’t sleep well – what do you need to do to ensure you sleep well so that this does not happen again? Reflect on the valuable lesson that you learned so that you can put fail-safes in place to avoid the same from happening in a future. Also, reevaluate your goal to make sure it is still doable. If not, figure out what necessary modifications you need to make to ensure you meet that goal.
The Realistic part applies not only to the goal itself but also to the process of getting it done. Be flexible and don’t give up.
T – Timebound
This is another key point that goes hand in hand with the Realistic one. When you set up times for performing and for completing, make sure they are realistic. You can get a lot of things done, if you just figure out how many hours it will take you to do so. Enter again our dear friend wishful thinking.
I love this quote from Bill Gates because it is so true: “Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.”
The best way to figure out what amount of time something is going to take is to assign it the time you think it will take. One of two things can happen:
- Parkinson’s Law will kick in. This law states that: “work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion”. And if you only have a certain amount of time to do something, very likely you will get it done within that timeframe.
- You will have a realistic assessment of the time that you will need to get that thing done. If you finish earlier than expected, congrats! You can move on to the next thing. Or if you really need more time, by now you’ll be able to assess how much more you need and schedule it accordingly.
And this reminds me of two of Laura Vanderkam’s great books: 168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think and What the Most Successful People Do Before Breakfast: How to Achieve More at Work and at Home.
The basic premise of both books is that we look at our time in chunks of 24 hours and want to cram as much as possible in that time span with the consequent disappointment, frustration and overwhelm. When we look at a week, we can plan better if we recognize that we have 168 hours. Even if we give ourselves the luxury of sleeping 8 hours a night, that takes only 56 hours away, leaving us with 112 hours to adapt our week to lots of professional and personal things that otherwise we’d never plan on doing.
And if we look at a weekend in a similar vein (from 6 pm on Friday when we leave work and the weekend “officially” starts to Monday at 6 am when the alarm clock goes off) we have 60 hours. Even if we sleep 24 hours, that leaves us with 36 hours to play, do chores or tackle our to-do list – that is almost the same amount of time as a full time job! (40 hours)
Laura’s point in all of this is the importance of planning: what gets scheduled gets done. Scheduling the time and truly devoting it to the activities that will help you achieve your goals is the best way to ensure that those goals will be met and you will be able to check them off your to-do or you bucket list.
As this new year begins, make a list of your goals, break them down into the components that make a SMART goal, and then schedule the times in your calendar, and respect those times as a promise you make to yourself so that you can make sure they get done. If for some reason comes a day or time when you cannot do it (and it will come), don’t beat yourself up, simply renegotiate with yourself (just as you would with any other person if you were doing something for them) and notice what you learn.
Hope this helps! Let me know what your goals are in the comments below. And please, schedule in your calendar 5 minutes at this time next year so that you can tell me how the process went.
I’m thrilled for you and cheering for your success!! 🙂
“Make rituals, not resolutions.”