by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Creativity, Goals, Growth, Habits, Mindset, Opportunity, Tools
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 42 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Pick Yourself
— From The Icarus Deception: How High Will You Fly? by Seth Godin
In yesterday’s post, the closing quote by author James Altucher was, “Rejection and the fear of rejection is the biggest impediment we face to choosing ourselves.” It reminded me of the importance of dancing with fear and picking ourselves, because no one else will.
We seem to spend an inordinate amount of time waiting to be picked, but the moment we pick ourselves is when we start creating, achieving, and moving forward. Because of this, I wanted to share with you a wonderful passage from the book The Icarus Deception by Seth Godin. Here it is, verbatim:
* * *
Pick Yourself
Pick Yourself by Hugh MacLeod @gapingvoid (click to enlarge)
Authority?
You want the authority to create, to be noticed, and to make a difference? You’re waiting for permission to stand up and speak up and ship?
Sorry, there’s no authority left.
Oprah has left the building. She can’t choose you to be on her show because her show is gone.
YouTube wants you to have your own show now, but they’re not going to call you.
Dick Clark has left the building. He’s not going to be able to get you a record deal or a TV gig because he and his show are long gone. iTunes and a hundred other outlets want you to have your own gig, but they’re not going to call you, either.
Neither is Rodney Dangerfield or the head of programming at Comedy Central. Louis C. K. has famously proven that he doesn’t need the tyranny of the booker—he booked himself. Marc Maron didn’t wait to be cast on Saturday Night Live—he started his own podcast and earned a million listeners.
Our cultural instinct is to wait to get picked. To seek out the permission, authority, and safety that come from a publisher or a talk-show host or even a blogger who says “I pick you.”
Once you reject that impulse and realize that no one is going to select you—that Prince Charming has chosen another house in his search for Cinderella—then you can actually get to work.
The myth that the CEO is going to discover you and nurture you and ask you to join her for lunch is just that, a Hollywood myth.
Once you understand that there are problems waiting to be solved, once you realize that you have all the tools and all the permission you need, then opportunities to contribute abound. The opportunity is not to have your résumé picked from the pile but to lead.
When we take responsibility and eagerly give credit, doors open. When we grab a microphone and speak up, we’re a step closer to doing the work we’re able to do.
Most of all, when we buckle down, confront the lizard brain, and ship our best work, we’re becoming the artists we’re capable of becoming.
No one is going to pick you. Pick yourself.
* * *
Click to enlarge.
Beautifully said. And so true. I am lucky to have one of the printouts of this passage that Seth Godin gave me. It’s a treasure that hangs on the wall of my office. It inspires me every day and motivates me to pick myself, and I want to share it with you in hopes that it will do the same for you. Click on the image on the left to enlarge and print.
What about the lizard at the end?? That’s a reminder of quieting and ignoring your lizard brain as you pick yourself and move in the direction of your dreams. Unless you are in true danger, think of your lizard brain the same way you would of a worrywart aunt: thank her for sharing her (doom and gloom) point of view, and don’t pay attention to it.
“How much responsibility are you willing to take before it’s given to you? – Seth Godin
ACTION
TODAY: Pick yourself! The world needs your gifts. And you’ve been wanting to share them for a long time… Start today.
FUTURE: Create the habit of picking yourself. It’s not a one-and-done thing, it’s a recurrent mindset and attitude to be developed. For those of us who struggle thinking that picking ourselves is arrogant or presumptuous, let me turn it around in the same way it helped me: it’s not selfishness, it’s responsibility, because it’s what will enable you to help yourself and others achieve goals and dreams.
Love this post as much as I do? Please help me spread the love by sharing it with other people so that they can pick themselves! Email, Facebook or Twitter.
by Helena Escalante | Goals, Growth, Mindset, Tools
Estimated reading time: 4 minutes, 11 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: The 2 categories of fear that prevent you from succeeding
— From What If It Does Work Out?: How a Side Hustle Can Change Your Life by Susie Moore
Susie Moore is a life coach and stress management guru in New York. She is the author of What if it does work out?, a great, friendly book that helps readers put their passions and hobbies to work in order to generate multiple streams of income (above and beyond their 9 to 5 job).
In her book, Moore debunks myths and tears apart fears and hesitations with common-sensical advice and examples that leave the reader at ease and eager to try.
One of the biggest takeaways for me was learning where our fears come from and what they are really about. Once I understood this, I had the clarity to see how they can prevent us from achieving our goals and reaching the success we seek. On the other hand, the good news is that once you identify the origin of the fears, they seem to dissipate instantly, as you can see them for what they truly are: unfounded.
Moore cites Dan Baker, Ph.D. and Cameron Stauth, authors of What Happy People Know. According to their research, if we leave aside all fear that is not the protective kind (e.g., the fear that stops you from hitching a ride with a stranger), all other fears belong to the belief in one of the following two categories:
- I am not enough, or
- I do not have enough.
“As humans,” Moore says, “we have not evolved to take into account our new modern surroundings. Back in the day of the caveman these fears were real and the result of their being actualized was certain death. If you were not fit, healthy, and strong, the tribe would leave you behind in order to survive. And if you did not have enough—meaning if you did not collect food every day and have the materials to give you shelter and warmth—you would perish.”
But we’ve come a long way. Why are we still thinking the same?
Moore explains that while our circumstances have changed, our reptilian brain remains the same and simply has learned to adapt said fears. Thus, “being ‘enough’ in today’s world means being educated, connected, charming, smart, good-looking, thin, interesting . . . the list is endless, especially when you are busy comparing yourself to your peers. Having ‘enough’ in our society means possessing the luxuries that we see touted as equaling success but that can also trap us: a large home, fancy car, great wardrobe. It requires dropping cash we may not even have on stuff we don’t need to try and keep up with our friends.”
“Observe any fear that is strong or subtle in your life and you will be able to attribute it to one of these two [fears].” The author shares a few examples of these two categories of fears and the way they manifest themselves in our lives. See if you can identify with any of them.
Fear of “I am not enough”:
- “I can’t tell that person I like them; he or she won’t possibly be attracted to me!”
- “I can’t ask for more money at work. It’s not like I’m perfect at my job.”
- “Who am I to start a business?”
- “I can’t start a blog— no one wants to hear what I have to say.”
- “I don’t want to go to that party. I’m not good with new people.”
Fear of “I do not have enough”:
- “Money is hard to come by.”
- “John comes from a better family than I do . . . I’m kinda embarrassed to introduce him to my parents.”
- “Better to stick to the career I know than take a risk doing what I really would love to do and go broke.”
- “Tom makes a lot more money than I do and always has nice things. I feel like he’s better than me.”
- “I won’t buy those boots/that laptop/a gym membership—I hate parting with money.”
While not all these examples will instill fear in everyone, think of your own fears and examine what motivates them. “If your soul is stirred with a reason for not doing something that feels right and fair, great. If not—if your decisions leave you feeling insecure, small, and unsatisfied—fear has got you wrapped around its little finger,” says Moore.
She goes on to quote best-selling author James Altucher: “Rejection and the fear of rejection is the biggest impediment we face to choosing ourselves.” Remember to choose yourself today and every day.
ACTION
TODAY: Think of a fear that you are facing today. What category does it belong to? Once you identify it, look back at the fear and you’ll see how it dissolves. You’ll then be able to move forward.
FUTURE: When you are facing a non-protective fear, think back to these two categories and examine what you are feeling. Once you are able to pinpoint the category to which the fear belongs, it will be easy to get rid of it and continue moving forward.
Know someone who is being held back by fear? Please share this post! Email, Facebook or Twitter.
by Helena Escalante | Collaboration, Goals, Growth, Leadership, Mindset, Miniseries, Planning, Time
Links to other parts of the miniseries:
Leadership: Debunking 5 myths
Leadership: Developing influence one step at a time: Position
Leadership: Developing influence one step at a time: Permission & Production
Leadership: Developing influence one step at a time: People Development and Personhood
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 10 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Leadership: Climbing the steps
— From Leadership 101: What Every Leader Needs to Know by John C. Maxwell
Well, I thought I had finished the miniseries on Leadership from Leadership 101, but I couldn’t resist writing a coda. After debunking the myths and examining the levels of leadership, John C. Maxwell gives some quick, additional insights into the process of climbing the steps of leadership. I thought you might be interested, as they are very short, to the point, and further help solidify the ideas we’ve seen over the past few days.
Here are Maxwell’s thoughts, verbatim:
The higher you go, the longer it takes. “Each time there is a change in your job or you join a new circle of friends, you start on the lowest level and begin to work yourself up the steps.”
The higher you go, the higher the level of commitment. “This increase in commitment is a two-way street. Greater commitment is demanded not only from you, but from the other individuals involved. When either the leader or the follower is unwilling to make the sacrifices a new level demands, influence will begin to decrease.”
The higher you go, the easier it is to lead. “Notice the progression from level two through level four. The focus goes from liking you to liking what you do for the common interest of all concerned (to liking what you do for them personally). Each level climbed by the leader and the follower adds another reason why people want to follow.”
The higher you go, the greater the growth. “Growth can only occur when effective change takes place. Change will become easier as you climb the levels of leadership. As you rise, other people will allow and even assist you in making the needed changes.”
You never leave the base level. “Each level stands upon the previous one and will crumble if the lower level is neglected. For example, if you move from a permission (relationships) level to a production (results) level and stop caring for the people who are following you and helping you produce, they might begin to develop a feeling of being used. As you move up in the levels, the deeper and more solid your leadership will be with a person or group of people.”
If you are leading a group of people, you will not be on the same level with everyone. “Not every person will respond the same way to your leadership.”
For your leadership to remain effective, it is essential that you take the other influencers within the group with you to higher levels. “The collective influence of you and the other leaders will bring the rest along. If this does not happen, divided interest and loyalty will occur within the group.”
You must know what lever you are on at this moment. “Since you will be on different levels with different people, you need to know which people are on which level. If the biggest influencers within the organization are on the highest levels and are supportive of you, then your success in leading others will be attainable. If the best influencers are on the highest levels and not supportive, then problems will soon arise.”
“Real leadership is being the person others will gladly and confidently follow.” – John C. Maxwell
ACTION
TODAY: Take some time to ponder at what level of leadership you are today with the various people with whom you’ll interact. Figure out what you can do so that you both grow (even if it’s just one, tiny, baby step) and your joint project progresses from your collaboration on this day.
FUTURE: Always remember that you never leave the base level. It’s important to nurture and give time to every relationship that you want to see flourish.
Know someone who wants to learn more about leadership? Please share this post and the upcoming ones in this miniseries, thank you! Email, Facebook or Twitter.
by Helena Escalante | Collaboration, Goals, Growth, Leadership, Mindset, Tools
Links to other parts of the miniseries:
Leadership: Debunking 5 myths
Leadership: Developing influence one step at a time: Position
Leadership: Developing influence one step at a time: Permission & Production
Leadership: Climbing the steps
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 46 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Leadership: Developing influence one step at a time: People Development and Personhood
— From Leadership 101: What Every Leader Needs to Know by John C. Maxwell
So far, we’ve debunked the myths of leadership and looked at the first three levels leadership. The author of Leadership 101, John C. Maxwell, makes a quick recap of the progression of these levels: “At level 2, the follower loves the leader; at level 3, the follower admires the leader; at level 4, the follower is loyal to the leader. Why? You win people’s hearts by helping them grow personally.”
This is getting way better, isn’t it? Let’s unpack this level!
Level 4: People Development—People follow because of what you have done for them. “A leader is great, not because of his or her power, but because of his or her ability to empower others. Success without a successor is failure. A worker’s main responsibility is developing others to do the work. The true leader can be recognized because somehow his people consistently demonstrate superior performances.”
At this level, Maxwell states that you should be surrounded by people whom you have helped develop in some way. However, a problem arises when new people—who don’t know you—simply view you as a position leader since you’ve had no contact with them. To counteract this, the author offers two suggestions:
- Walk slowly through the crowd. This means having some way of staying in touch with everyone.
- Develop key leaders. Meet and teach the influencers within the organization, and then let them pass on to others what they’ve learned.
This last point is very important: while you may not have time to help and develop everyone, by developing key leaders you will start a cascading effect that will, in turn, create more leaders. This way, your legacy and others’ loyalty to you will be passed on effectively. It’s the equivalent of lighting up many candles with your flame and then letting those candles light up many other ones with their flames. Soon you will have a full crowd lit up from the same source.
“Loyalty to the leader reaches its highest peak when the follower has personally grown through the mentorship of the leader.”
The characteristics to master at this level are:
Level 4: People Development/Reproduction
- Realize that people are your most valuable asset.
- Place a priority on developing people.
- Be a model for others to follow.
- Pour your leadership efforts into the top 20 percent of your people.
- Expose key leaders to growth opportunities.
- Attract other winners/producers to the common goal.
- Surround yourself with an inner core that complements your leadership.
And having reached level 4, is there still more? Yes, there is one more rung to this ladder.
Level 5: Personhood—People follow because of who you are and what you represent. Maxwell states that most of us have not yet arrived at this level. “This step is reserved for leaders who have spent years growing people and organizations. Few make it. Those who do are bigger than life. […] Only a lifetime of proven leadership will allow us to sit at level 5 and reap the rewards that are eternally satisfying.”
So, what are those rewards and characteristics that make a level 5 leader bigger than life?
Level 5: Personhood/Respect
- Your followers are loyal and sacrificial.
- You have spent years mentoring and molding leaders.
- You have become a statesman/consultant, and are sought out by others.
- Your greatest joy comes from watching others grow and develop.
- You transcend the organization.
And there you have it. These are the 5 levels of leadership that we can go through. It’s important to mention that at any given time you will be on different levels with different people, and it’s important to know what levels those are to be able to interact accordingly.
I want to close this miniseries with some food for thought from Maxwell:
“Everyone is a leader because everyone influences someone. Not everyone will become a great leader, but everyone can become a better leader. Are you willing to unleash your leadership potential? Will you use your leadership skills to better mankind?
ACTION
TODAY: Think about the various levels of leadership at which you are in life and business. How can you become a better leader? What types of leaders are you surrounded by?
FUTURE: As you decide to start a new project or adventure, keep in mind the levels of leadership that you can attain and the types of leaders you’ll be around. This will play an important part in helping you determine the viability (as well as your willingness) to move forward with it.
Know someone who wants to learn more about leadership? Please share this post and the upcoming ones in this miniseries, thank you! Email, Facebook or Twitter.
by Helena Escalante | Growth, Leadership, Mindset, Miniseries, Tools
Links to other parts of the miniseries:
Leadership: Debunking 5 myths
Leadership: Developing influence one step at a time: Position
Leadership: Developing influence one step at a time: People Development and Personhood
Leadership: Climbing the steps
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 9 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Leadership: Developing influence one step at a time: Permission & Production
— From Leadership 101: What Every Leader Needs to Know by John C. Maxwell
Yesterday we learned about the first level of leadership: position, and today we will continue expanding on this topic. John C. Maxwell, author of Leadership 101, quotes Fred Smith (CEO of Fedex) as saying; “Leadership is getting people to work for you when they are not obligated.” And this is precisely what starts to happen as soon as you jump to level 2 of leadership and continue along the subsequent levels.
Level 2: Permission—People follow because they want to. “A person on the ‘permission’ level will lead by interrelationships. The agenda is not the pecking order but people development. On this level, the leader donates time, energy and focus on the follower’s needs and desires. […] People who are unable to build solid, lasting, relationships will soon discover that they are unable to sustain long, effective leadership.”
“Leadership begins with the heart, not the head. […] You can love people without leading them, but cannot lead people without loving them.”
Maxwell cautions us not to skip this level, as it is the most often skipped one. Taking the time to develop and nurture relationships is important, and it involves a process that “provides the glue and much of the staying power for long-term, consistent production.”
Here are the characteristics to master on this level before advancing to the third one:
Level 2: Permission/Relationship
- Possess a genuine love for people.
- Make those who work with you more successful.
- See through other people’s eyes.
- Love people more than procedures.
- Do “win-win” or don’t do it.
- Include others in your journey.
- Deal wisely with difficult people.
Level 3: Production—People follow because of what you have done for the organization. Maxwell says there is a major difference between levels 2 and 3. “On the ‘relationship’ level people get together just to get together… On the ‘results’ level people come together to accomplish a purpose.” The like to get together for the sake of it, but because they are results-oriented, they love to get together to accomplish things.
And it is at this level indeed where good things start happening: “Profit increases. Morale is high. Turnover is low. Needs are being met. Goals are being realized. Accompanying the growth is the ‘big mo’—momentum. Leading and influencing others is fun. Problems are solved with minimum effort… Everyone is results-oriented. In fact, results are the main reason for the activity.”
Based on this, here are the characteristics to master before moving on to the next level:
Level 3: Production/Results
- Initiate and accept responsibility for growth.
- Develop and follow a statement of purpose.
- Make your job description and energy an integral part of the statement of purpose.
- Develop accountability for results, beginning with yourself.
- Know and do the things that give a high return.
- Communicate the strategy and vision for the organization.
- Become a change-agent and understand timing.
- Make the difficult decisions that will make a difference.
The levels keep getting better and better, don’t they? Stay tuned for tomorrow’s installment of this miniseries where we’ll learn about levels 4 and 5.
ACTION
TODAY: Think about leaders you know who are at these levels. What can you learn about them? Are you at any of these levels? What actions can you take to proactively master the characteristics you need to advance to the next level?
FUTURE: Have you noticed that each level stands on the previous one? That’s right. Keep this in mind always as you move up: you can’t neglect the base when you move on to higher levels. It’s like doing algebra: you have to draw on a solid, basic knowledge of addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division, even though what you are doing now is much more advanced and complex than at the beginning.
Know someone who wants to learn more about leadership? Please share this post and the upcoming ones in this miniseries, thank you! Email, Facebook or Twitter.
by Helena Escalante | Growth, Leadership, Mindset, Miniseries, Tools
Links to other parts of the miniseries:
Leadership: Debunking 5 myths
Leadership: Developing influence one step at a time: Permission & Production
Leadership: Developing influence one step at a time: People Development and Personhood
Leadership: Climbing the steps
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 0 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Leadership: Developing influence one step at a time: Position
— From Leadership 101: What Every Leader Needs to Know by John C. Maxwell
In this post, I had mentioned my surprise at learning that each of us influences at least ten thousand other people during our lifetime. (!) “So the question is not whether you will influence someone, but how you will use your influence.”
Continuing with this miniseries on leadership from John C. Maxwell’s book Leadership 101, and inspired by the statement above, I want to expand on what the author calls the levels of leadership. Maxwell says there are five levels—or steps—that we all take along the leadership journey. We can develop our influence and leadership potential by understanding what each step entails. And by allowing ourselves the necessary time to dwell and grow through each level, we can become the leaders we want to be.
So, what are the levels of leadership, you ask? Today we’ll take a look at the first one. Come back tomorrow to learn about the next ones.
Level 1: Position—People follow because they have to. “This is the basic entry level of leadership. The only influence you have is that which comes with a title. People who stay at this level get into territorial rights, protocol, tradition and organizational charts. These things are not negative unless they become the basis for authority and influence, but they are poor substitutes for leadership skills.”
In here Maxwell makes an important distinction: “A real leader knows the difference between being the boss and being a leader.”
| The boss: |
The leader: |
| Drives his workers |
Coaches his workers |
| Depends on authority |
Depends on goodwill |
| Inspires fear |
Inspires enthusiasm |
| Says “I” |
Says “we” |
| Fixes the blame for the breakdown |
Fixes the breakdown |
At this level, unfortunately, security is not based on talent. Instead, it’s based solely on title, which means that this step is often reached by appointment (whereas all subsequent levels are gained by ability). And since “people will not follow a positional leader beyond his stated authority,” this also means that the so-called followers at this stage “will only do what they have to do when they are required to do it. Low morale is always present… [and] when the leader lacks confidence, the followers lack commitment.”
What to do if you are at this level or know someone who is? Develop the following characteristics until you exhibit them with excellence, and you’ll then be ready to move up.
Level 1: Position/Rights
- Know your job description thoroughly.
- Be aware of the history of the organization.
- Relate the organization’s history to the people of the organization (in other words, be a team player).
- Accept responsibility.
- Do your job with consistent excellence.
- Do more than expected.
- Offer creative ideas for change and improvement.
Come back tomorrow to continue reading about the subsequent levels of leadership. You’ll learn the characteristics you need to develop in each step to move up the leadership ladder.
ACTION
TODAY: We’ve all interacted at some point with someone who exerts positional leadership and calls him/herself the boss as per the description above (yikes!). What can you learn from those people so as to not do it yourself? Consider them inverse mentors.
FUTURE: As uncomfortable as it is to be around someone at this level of leadership, be compassionate and remember the saying “every master was once a disaster.” Or if this was you at some point, stop cringing and forgive yourself. We all start somewhere in our leadership journey and build from there. Maybe if you extend a helping hand, offer friendly advice, or give helpful feedback, you’ll be able to assist the positional leader to move along the path toward the next step.
Know someone who wants to learn more about leadership? Please share this post and the upcoming ones in this miniseries, thank you! Email, Facebook or Twitter.
