“Your ability to persist in the face of setbacks and disappointments is your measure of your belief in yourself and your ability to succeed,” says business guru Brian Tracy in his book The 100 Absolutely Unbreakable Laws of Business Success.
“Persistence,” Tracy continues, “is the iron quality of success.” And he points to persistence as the most important asset we can have, because our ability to persist longer than anyone else is what will give us the edge.
“Never give in, never, never give in.” – Winston Churchill
“When you persist in the face of the inevitable setbacks, delays, disappointments, and temporary defeats you will experience in life, and you continue to persist in spite of them, you demonstrate to yourself and to the people around you that you have the qualities of self-discipline and self-mastery that are absolutely indispensable for the achievement of any great success.”
And this last point is precisely what Tracy refers to as the corollary of the Law of Persistence: self-discipline in action. That means no excuses, just focusing on the end in mind.
The combination of unshakeable determination and persistence is what will make you unstoppable. “You will become an irresistible force of nature. Your goals of high achievement will become your realities.”
ACTION
Both actions come directly from the book. I love them because they’re very similar to what I would have written as it relates to the Law of Persistence, so I’m leaving them here verbatim for you.
TODAY: “Make a list of the problems or challenges that you are facing right now. In what areas are you feeling discouraged and unsure? In what areas do you need to persist even more than you are today? Keep reminding yourself that ‘Failure is not an option!’ ”
FUTURE: “Resolve in advance that, no matter what happens, you will never give up. Remember that if you advance confidently in the direction of your dreams, and you resolve in advance that you will never quit, you must ultimately be a great success. No one can ever stop you but yourself. Go for it!”
Know someone who is thinking about giving up and needs a pep talk? Please share this post via email, Facebook or Twitter, thanks!
In his clever and funny style (read this other post), Steve Ventura, author of LEAD RIGHT, states that when we become leaders, we lose some of the “luxuries” that we had before. Those “luxuries” that he refers to, are “ways of thinking and acting that only non-leaders can exercise and enjoy.”
These tongue-in-cheek luxuries are everything that a leader is not. The opposite is true: “The mindsets and behaviors [that these lost luxuries] represent are the essence of leadership. More than anything else, they are what separate leaders from followers… they are what separate poor leaders from great ones.” So, here is the list, verbatim, of those lost, so-called lost luxuries.
As a leader, you no longer have the luxury of…
…thinking mostly about yourself—putting your own needs first. …acting on feelings, rather than facts—jumping to conclusions and reacting in a “knee-jerk” fashion. …whining to others or commiserating with their discontent. …forming opinions and making judgments knowing only “one side of the story.” …continually blaming “them” and “they”—and expecting someone else to fix what’s broken. …not listening to others’ ideas, concerns, and opinions. …taking sides, overtly favoring some people, and excluding others. …wearing your emotions “on your sleeve.”
And as a leader, you no longer have the luxury of…
…closing your eyes or walking away when things happen that just aren’t right.
ACTION
TODAY: Give yourself some time to ponder the list above. While Ventura puts it in a funny way for us to better absorb it, analyze your thoughts and actions, and recognize if you’ve acted like this in the past. Analyze why. Ask why 5 times. Get to the core of the issue and learn from it, so that you can no longer give yourself that luxury in the future.
FUTURE: Keep this list handy and check it often, remember that you can no longer engage in those luxuries, and that is a great thing! Share the list with your circles, we are all leaders in one way or another, and we should all lose these luxuries in exchange for a better, gentler and more empathic way of treating each other.
Know someone who would enjoy reading this post? Please share it via email, Facebook or Twitter, thanks!
Take a breath… Imagine that you are 95 years old and ready to die. Before taking your last breath, you’re given a great gift: The ability to travel back in time—the ability to talk to the person who is reading this page, the ability to help this person be a better professional and lead a better life.
The 95-year-old you understands what was really important and what wasn’t, what mattered and what didn’t. What advice would this wise “old you” have for the “you” who is reading this page?
Take your time and answer your question on two levels: personal advice and professional advice. Jot down a few words that capture what the old you would be saying to the younger you.
Once you’ve written these words down, the rest is simple: Just do whatever you wrote down. Make it your resolution for the rest of the current year, and the next. You have just defined your “there.”
While “there” will be different for each one of us, and no one but you can define it for you, Goldsmith shares wisdom about the common features that most “theres” have. This is because a friend of Goldsmith interviewed people who were dying and asked them what advice they would have had for their younger selves. Three recurring topics kept coming up:
1. Reflect upon life, find happiness and meaning now. “Not next month or next year. The Great Western Disease lies in the phrase, I will be happy when…” Take time to enjoy the here and now. The promotion, the house, the money, the lucky break, may or may not come, but you can choose to be happy today and find meaning in your life right now. Don’t postpone your happiness, enjoy life as it is now!
2. Friends and family. “You may work for a wonderful company, and you may think that your contribution to that organization is very important. When you are 95 years old and you look at the people around your deathbed, very few of your fellow employees will be there waving good-bye. Your friends and family will be the only people who care. Appreciate them now and share a large part of your life with them.”
3. Follow your dreams. “This doesn’t apply just to big dreams; it’s also true for little dreams. Buy the sportscar you always wanted, go to that exotic locale that’s always held your fascination, learn how to play the piano or speak Italian. […] Few of us will achieve all of our dreams. Some dreams will always elude us. So the key question is not, ‘Did I make all my dreams come true?’ The key question is, ‘Did I try?’ ”
Curiously enough, Goldsmith conducted a research project with more than 200 high-potential leaders from 120 companies worldwide that yielded the same topics. When the leaders were asked, “If you stay in this company, why are you going to stay?” the top three answers were:
1. “I am finding meaning and happiness now. The work is exciting and I love what I am doing.”
2. “I like the people. They are my friends. This feels like a team. It feels like a family. I could make more money working with other people, but I don’t want to leave the people here.”
3. “I can follow my dreams. This organization is giving me a chance to do what I really want to do in life.”
It’s interesting how we all seek the same (happiness, meaning, relationships, dreams, purpose) no matter what our age or stage in life. So now you know, regardless of where you’re going (“there”), be happy now, enjoy time with friends and family, and try to make your dreams come true.
ACTION
TODAY: Go through the exercise above and determine your “there.” Then call a trusted and supportive friend and a family member to share your results. Set a date and time to meet with them—it’s always more fun to catch up in person!
FUTURE: Just as Goldsmith said, make your “there” your resolution for the rest of the current year, and the next. Set up goals and break them down into doable chunks so that you can see and measure progress.
Please share this post with someone who needs to find his/her “there,” they’ll thank you for it! Email, Facebook, Twitter.
Steven Pressfield, renowned author, has written much about Resistance as part of our work (The War of Art, Turning Pro, Do The Work). Resistance is that chatter inside our head that criticizes all we do, prevents us from starting or continuing a project, and wants to sabotage its completion.
However, in Do The Work, Pressfield says, “The opposite of Resistance is Assistance.”The Assistance, whatever form this takes, stands for the love for your dream, your creation, or whatever it is that you are looking to bring to fruition: “The dream is your project, your vision, your symphony, your startup. The love is the passion and enthusiasm that fill your heart when you envision your project’s completion.”
“In myths and legends, the knight is always aided in his quest to slay the dragon. Providence brings forth a champion whose role is to assist the hero. Theseus had Ariadne when he fought the Minotaur. Jason had Medea when he went after the Golden Fleece. Odysseus had the goddess Athena to guide him home. In Native American myths, our totemic ally is often an animal—a magic raven, say, or a talking coyote. In Norse myths, an old crone sometimes assists the hero; in African legends, it’s often a bird. The Three Wise Men were guided by a star. All of these characters or forces represent Assistance.”
Pressfield details how, when Resistance appears (which, in his words, is all the time), he thinks of Charles Lindbergh:
What symphony or Resistance must have been playing in his head when he was struggling to raise the funding for his attempt to fly across the Atlantic solo? “You’re too young, you’re too inexperienced; you’ve got no credentials, no credibility. Everyone who’s tried this has failed and you will, too. It can’t be done. Your plane will crash, you’re going to drown, you’re a madman who is attempting the impossible and you deserve whatever dire fate befalls you!”
(Here’s a great blog post from Pressfield on how to look at and deal with Resistance and self-loathing in a positive way.)
“What saw Lindy through?” asks Pressfield. “It can only have been the dream,” he answers himself. “Love of the idea.”
It is that love of the idea, the visualization of our goal, along with dogged determination, that gets us through the finish line. Pressfield points out that it is in our best interest to keep our end in mind so that “we can align ourselves with these universal forces of Assistance—this dream, this passion to make the unmanifest manifest—and ride them into battle against the dragon.”
After all, Pressfield goes on, “How cool would it be, in 1927, to land at Le Bourget field outside Paris, having flown from New York, solo and non-stop, before anyone else had ever done it?”
Keep your end in mind. Always. And keep working at it. But as you work on it, don’t get so mired in the details that you lose sight of your desired goal. Focus on Assistance, not on Resistance.
If you have 3 minutes, I highly recommend you watch this video of Pressfield talking with Oprah about Resistance.
Let me know in the comments here your favorite way to beat Resistance!
ACTION
TODAY: Rekindle the flame of some dream that you’ve set aside lately because Resistance beat you. Assistance can come to the rescue. Read this post if you are battling impostor syndrome, another manifestation of Resistance.
FUTURE: Focus on Assistance to get you through to the completion of your projects, goals, and dreams. And when you experience Resistance, read this post to overcome any block (writer’s or any other) that you encounter. Keep at it. Think of Lindbergh: how cool will it be when you land on your goal?
Please help others get Assistance for their Resistance by sharing this post! Email, Facebook, Twitter.
Marshall Goldsmith, author and success coach to top CEOs, talks about the importance of receiving feedback. While feedback usually comes from others, in What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, Goldsmith shares a simple technique by which we can give goodand reliable feedback to ourselves to create lasting change.
Sounds too good to be true? Wait until you see how easy—yet how profound—this technique is. It’s all about completing a sentence. Here’s how it works:
Pick one thing that you want to get better at. It could be anything that matters to you—from getting in shape to giving more recognition to lowering your golf handicap. Then list the positive benefits that will accrue to you and the world if you achieve your goal. For example, “I want to get in better shape. If I get in shape, one benefit to me is that…” And then you complete the sentence.
It’s a simple exercise. “If I get in shape, I will… live longer.” That’s one benefit. Then keep doing it. “If I get in shape, I’ll feel better about myself.” That’s two. “If I get in shape, I’ll be a better role model for my family and friends.” And so on until you exhaust the benefits.
At this moment, you are probably wondering what makes this so special. Goldsmith points out that the interesting part of this exercise is that, “as you get deeper into it, the answers become less corporately correct and more personal.”
You start off by saying, “If I become better organized, the company will make more money… my team will become more productive… other people will enjoy their jobs more… and so on.” By the end, however, you’re saying, “If I become more organized, I’ll be a better parent… a better spouse… a better person.”
And so it is that by digging or peeling layers (quite similar to the 5 Whys), we get to the core issue, that is, what is really important to us. Only then, can we find the real reason—the one that motivates and inspires us—to change for the better.
Goldsmith recalls a story of a general in the U. S. Marine Corps who wanted to “become less judgmental.” At first, his resistance was obvious as he completed the first instance cynically by saying, “ If I become less judgmental, I won’t have so much trouble dealing with the clowns at headquarters.” The second answer was quite sarcastic too. By the third one, he had diminished the intensity of the sarcasm. Goldsmith says that by the sixth sentence he was tearing up: “If I become less judgmental, maybe my children will talk to me again.”
When you go deep is when you know that this exercise is working. In the words of Goldsmith: “As the benefits you list become less expected and more personal and meaningful to you, that’s when you know that you’ve given yourself some valuable feedback—that you’ve hit on an interpersonal skill that you really want and need to improve. That’s when you confirm that you’ve picked the right thing to fix.”
ACTION
TODAY: Set up some time aside in your calendar to do this sentence-completion exercise. It will give you important feedback as to what you need to change.
FUTURE: Keep this exercise handy so that you can do it when you need to give yourself good feedback. That way you will be able to change a habit or a behavior that is no longer serving you.
Please share this post to let someone in your circles know how they can give themselves good feedback for lasting change! Email, Facebook, Twitter.
Not too long ago we learned about the term kodawari. This is the Japanese word that refers to the combination of meticulous attention to detail in what we do plus the pride and joy that we feel towards what we do.
Kodawari is an integral part of ikigai (pronunciation), “a Japanese word for describing the pleasures and meanings of life. The word literally consists of iki (to live) and gai (reason).” Thus, it is loosely translated as your reason to live or the reason why you wake up every day.
Author and neuroscientist Ken Mogi, in his book Awakening Your Ikigai, says that ikigai “is used in various contexts, and can apply to small everyday things as well as to big goals and achievements. […] Most importantly, ikigai is possible without your necessarily being successful in your professional life… It is true that having ikigai can result in success, but success is not a requisite condition for having ikigai. It is open to every one of us.”
To this effect, Mogi introduces the five pillars of ikigai that he believes encompass this concept and help us make the best of every moment.
Pillar 1: Starting small → Focusing on the details. Pillar 2: Releasing yourself → Accepting who you are. Pillar 3: Harmony and sustainability → Relying on others. Pillar 4: The joy of little things → Appreciating sensory pleasure. Pillar 5: Being in the here and now → Finding your flow.
Mogi points out that the pillars reinforce each other and enable ikigai to flourish, yet they are not “mutually exclusive or exhaustive, nor do they have a particular order or hierarchy.”
Ikigai is closely related to our sense of happiness. And while Mogi says that there is no absolute formula for happiness, he mentions that accepting yourself is “a low-budget, maintenance-free formula for being happy. […] Accepting yourself is one of the easiest, simplest and most rewarding things you could do for yourself.”
However, Mogi recognizes that no man is an island and draws an analogy: “A man is like a forest, individual yet connected and dependent on others for growth.” And besides learning and getting support from others, one of the fastest ways to grow is by deriving lessons from failure. “After all, in the long process of life, you sometimes stumble and fall. Even at those times, you can have ikigai, even when you are on a losing streak.”
“Ikigai, in a nutshell, is literally from the cradle to the grave, no matter what happens in your life.”
Ikigai is about being mindful and present, enjoying the little things that make up the moment we are living in, and finding our flow as we get lost in the appreciation of the details. And when something goes wrong, “so long as you have ikigai, you can muddle through difficult periods of your life. You can always go back to your safe haven, from where you can start your life’s adventures all over again.”
ACTION
TODAY: Take a look at the five pillars of ikigai. How many do you apply to your life? How many would you benefit from applying? Create the intention of being mindful and aware of all 5 pillars and applying them at least once today.
FUTURE: Celebrate who you area and your ikigai! Also, make it a habit of practicing mindfulness and being aware of the five pillars of ikigai, so that you can apply them in as many instances of your life as possible.
Please share the concept of ikigai with someone today, you can do so via email, Facebook or Twitter, thank you!
TODAY’S IDEA: The Law of Persistence
