by Helena Escalante | Celebration, Collaboration, Creativity, Goals, Growth, Habits, Leadership, Mindset, Resources, Tools
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 40 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: The Celebration Principle
— From Mentoring 101: What Every Leader Needs to Know by John C. Maxwell
Happy 4th of July! Today we are celebrating Independence Day in the United States. And it’s a great day to talk about celebration.
In his book Mentoring 101, leadership guru John C. Maxwell talks about what he calls The Celebration Principle: “the true test of relationships is not only how loyal we are when friends fail, but how thrilled we are when they succeed.”
Why does this even merit writing about? Shouldn’t this be a given?
Yes and no.
Yes, because we should all celebrate success, whether our own or someone else’s. And, no, because not everybody feels that way. Oscar Wilde said it best: “Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend’s success.”
Maxwell wrote a book called Failing Forward: Turning Mistakes Into Stepping Stones for Success a few years back, and quickly found out that everyone identifies with failure. “Everybody has failed, so [sharing failure is] a great way to connect. The problem is that because people so readily identify with failure, they sometimes have a hard time connecting with success. And if they don’t identify with success, they may resent it.”
Maxwell goes on to say that the same qualities that prevent people from succeeding (insecurity, jealousy, etc.), prevent them from celebrating the success of other people. “They constantly compare themselves to others and find themselves wanting. As a result, they have a hard time getting beyond themselves.”
“Beware of the green-eyed monster,” warns Maxwell. “If most people were honest, they would admit to feelings of jealousy or envy when they witness others’ success—even when the people succeeding are close friends or people they’ve mentored.”
So, how to avoid feeling this way? The author suggests doing the following four things:
1. Realize it’s not a competition. “It’s very difficult to achieve success without help. […] Life is better in a community of people you love and who also love you.” Maxwell offers the following reflections to keep in mind and to “be the rare kind of person who is happy when others succeed.”
My success can be achieved only with others.
My lessons can be learned only from others.
My weaknesses can be strengthened only by others.
My servanthood can be tested only under others’ leadership.
My influence can be compounded only through others.
My leadership can be focused only on others.
My best can be given only to others.
My legacy can be left only for others.
So I should commit myself to and celebrate with others!
2. Celebrate when others see success. “Not everyone views success the way you do… look at things from other people’s point of view. What are their dreams? What goals have they set? What battles are they fighting?” Celebrate with them when they accomplish something that is important to them!
3. Celebrate successes others don’t yet see. “Sometimes people make great strides and aren’t even aware of it. [… Have you ever] worked on a project and felt discouraged by your progress, but had someone else marvel at what you accomplished? It is inspiring and makes you want to work that much harder.” Same goes for you, celebrate the successes of the people that surround you, especially those that they may not see.
4. Celebrate most with those closest to you. “The closer people are to you and the more important the relationship, the more you ought to celebrate. Celebrate early and often with those closest to you—especially with your spouse and children if you have a family. It’s usually easy to celebrate victories on the job or in a hobby or sport. But the greatest victories in life are the ones that occur at home.”
ACTION
TODAY: Look at the people who surround you and look for things to celebrate that they don’t see. It will be a nice surprise when you point those things out! Celebrate with a nice word, an email, a handwritten note, a cupcake, a full party (if you have time to plan it), or however you see fit. The goal is to start celebrating!
FUTURE: Make it a habit to celebrate and share the successes of others. Be genuinely happy for them and your life will be all the better for it. And don’t forget to share your success with others too, so that they can celebrate with you.
Celebrate someone’s success by sharing this post! You can do so via email, Facebook or Twitter, thanks!
by Helena Escalante | Celebration, Creativity, Goals, Growth, Mindset, Opportunity, Planning, Resources, Time, Tools
Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 42 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Fresh start
— From WHEN: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing by Dan Pink
July is the start of the second half of the year. Where did the first half go? It evaporated!
How did you do? Did you move forward in your goals? What did you accomplish? Where do you need to change course? Where do you need to start again?
I did very well in some areas and, frankly, I’m not proud to admit that I had no progress whatsoever in others… (!). But I must accept and learn what went well and what didn’t, so as to course-correct and move forward.
Tama Kieves, in her book A Year Without Fear, says “Focus on your present chances, not your past disadvantages. Are you repeating history by repeating the story of your history? The past is over. It’s a new dawn. It’s a new you. There are infinite chances to reinvent yourself. The past is over.”
As we move on with the rest of the year, today is one of those infinite chances to reinvent yourself. So, how about starting again in this second half of the year with those goals that stalled somewhere between January and June?
Dan Pink, in his book WHEN, says that “Just as we human beings rely on landmarks to navigate space—‘To get to my house, turn left at the [gas] station’—we also use landmarks to navigate time.” These dates are called temporal landmarks.
Further, some people use these temporal landmarks to start anew, and this is called “the fresh start” effect. Pink explains, “ To establish a fresh start, people [use] two types of temporal landmarks—social and personal. The social landmarks were those that everyone shared: Mondays, the beginning of a new month, national holidays. The personal ones were unique to the individual: birthdays, anniversaries, job changes.”
“Temporal landmarks interrupt attention to day-to-day minutiae, causing people to take a big picture view of their lives and thus focus on achieving their goals.”
Pink offers a list of 86 days in the year that are especially effective to make a fresh start:
- The first day of the month (12)
- Mondays (52)
- The first day of spring, summer, fall, and winter (4)
- Your country’s Independence Day or the equivalent (1)
- The day of an important religious holiday—for example, Easter, Rosh Hashanah, Eid al-Fitr (1)
- Your birthday (1)
- A loved one’s birthday (1)
- The first day of school or the first day of a semester (2)
- The first day of a new job (1)
- The first day after graduation (1)
- The first day back from vacation (2)
- The anniversary of your wedding, first date, or divorce (3)
- The anniversary of the day you started your job, the day you became a citizen, the day you adopted your dog or cat, the day you graduated from school or university (4)
- The day you finish [reading WHEN] (1)
ACTION
TODAY: Decide to make a fresh start on those goals that you want to get done this year. Today is the beginning of the second half of the year and a Monday too. Happy temporal landmarks!
FUTURE: Pick a few temporal landmarks between now and the end of the year to check in on your progress. That way you can always course-correct, pivot or start anew, remember that there are infinite chances to reinvent yourself.
Know someone who could use a fresh start today? Please share this post via email, Facebook or Twitter, thanks!
by Helena Escalante | Growth, Leadership, Mindset, Resources, Tools
Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 29 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Self-centeredness and empathy
— From Relationships 101: What Every Leader Needs to Know by John C. Maxwell
Have you ever played with a two-year-old child? “He naturally chooses the best toys for himself and insists on his own way,” says leadership guru John C. Maxwell in his book Relationships 101.
Is this self-centered? Yes, but not in a bad way. “People are not self-centered on purpose; it’s just in the nature of humans to think of their own interests first.”
At some point we are all taught to share our toys and food, to be kind and play nice with others, and to be compassionate and empathic. Yet it’s the empathy part that sometimes trips us, because it’s hard to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes.
“One way to overcome our natural self-centeredness is to try and see things from other people’s perspectives,” says Maxwell. He goes on to quote Art Mortell, author of World Class Selling, who shared his experience: “Whenever I’m losing at chess, I consistently get up and stand behind my opponent and see the board from his side. Then I discover the stupid moves I’ve made because I can see it from his viewpoint. [The challenge] is to see the world from the prospect’s viewpoint.”
Maxwell explains that, no matter our profession, the challenge for all of us is to see the world that way. And he shares the following thoughts “to remind us of what our priorities should be when dealing with other people.”
A SHORT COURSE IN HUMAN RELATIONS
The least important word: I.
The most important word: We.
The two most important words: Thank you.
The three most important words: All is forgiven.
The four most important words: What is your opinion?
The five most important words: You did a good job.
The six most important words: I want you to understand you better.
ACTION
TODAY: Watch this video on empathy.
FUTURE: There is a powerful exercise that I did a few years back that opened my eyes, my heart and jumpstarted my empathy. Seth Godin says that “Empathy takes effort.” Thus, the exercise is simple but not easy – yet I hope you do it and find it as valuable as I did! It’s as follows: pick a group of people who believe something you don’t believe. Now write down their narrative from their standpoint. It doesn’t have to be a long essay, say 250-300 words will do. Write it in their words and from their point of view, as if you were part of that group. There is no right or wrong, and nobody will see this exercise but you. When I did this exercise, I chose to see the world through my competitors’ clients. It was after this that I started seeing my competitors as collaborators and colleagues, and I was able to reach out to them and create some powerful alliances. You will learn much from this exercise and truly understand someone else’s point of view.
Know someone who could learn something from this post? Please share via email, Facebook or Twitter, thanks!
by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Collaboration, Creativity, Goals, Growth, Leadership, Mindset, Miniseries, Planning, Productivity, Time, Tools
Links to other parts of the miniseries:
Duplicate yourself – Part 1
Duplicate yourself – Part 2
Duplicate yourself – Part 3
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 27 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Duplicate yourself – Part 4
— From Work Less, Make More: Stop Working So Hard and Create the Life You Really Want! By Jennifer White
Welcome to the 4th and last part of this miniseries. So far we’ve learned how and what to duplicate, and todays’ idea will focus on knowing when duplication works.
This is very important, because part of planning for anything is figuring out what success will look like. To address this specifically, Jennifer White the author, writes:
Take a holiday where you cut yourself from the office. […] It takes courage to trust the folks you put in place. When you get back from your sabbatical, you’ll be able to see what falls apart, what doesn’t get done correctly, and what is substandard work. It’ll give you insights into where your duplication process works and where it doesn’t.
Will you ever be free unless you duplicate who you are? You’ll never know when you are free because you’ve been unwilling to test the system. Knowing that the system works gives you a sense of relief when you’re not working. You’ll certainly make more of your life without carrying all that guilt.
Most people don’t have the courage to test their duplication system. They don’t want to feel superfluous. They want to feel as if the whole world would crash around them if they weren’t there.
[…] Don’t hinder your ability to Work Less, Make More by needing to feel needed. You want to feel superfluous. You want to be taken out of the picture. You want to have such strong people around you that you no longer have to worry that the job’s getting done.
It’s the only way to free yourself up to live the life you want to live. Don’t worry. You’ll find more interesting, exciting things to propel yourself forward, and you have the space to be the creative force behind your future success. Think duplication.”
This reminds me of the process that lifestyle design guru Tim Ferriss created to be able to let his business work without him. He duplicated himself by creating systems, training a team and setting up the technology(ies) needed to make this happen. You can read all about this in his bestselling book The 4-Hour Workweek. (Here’s a post on productivity from that book.) Ferriss says that if your goal is to “free your time to focus on bigger and better things […] it’s not about working smarter. It’s about building a system to replace yourself. […] Preparing someone to replace you (even if it never happens) will produce an ultrarefined set of rules that will cut remaining fat and redundancy from your schedule. Lingering unimportant tasks will disappear as soon as someone else is being paid to do them.”
Another entrepreneur who duplicated and “outsourced” himself was Chris Ducker. He did it in about a year. And he did it with a virtual team and systems. As a result of blogging his journey to fulfill his goal of becoming a virtual CEO, he eventually launched Virtual Staff Finder, a company that helps busy people find virtual assistants. You can read about his journey and how to get help from virtual assistants in his book Virtual Freedom.
ACTION
TODAY: Jennifer White suggests doing this great exercise: “Draw a line down the middle of a blank sheet of paper. Write delegate on the left side of the page. Write duplicate on the right side. Evaluate each task you do. Can you delegate this task or should you train someone to duplicate. Don’t stop until the entire list is done. You’ve just developed a plan—once you have the right technology and people in place—to allow yourself to take three months off without losing money. It’s up to you to put the plan into action.”
FUTURE: If you like this concept of duplicating yourself to work less or simply work on other things that bring you more rewards and satisfaction, give some serious thought to duplicating yourself to free up time and space in your life.
Hope you enjoyed this miniseries! 😀 Please share it with someone who would like the idea of duplication. You can do so via email, Facebook or Twitter, thank you!
by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Collaboration, Creativity, Goals, Growth, Leadership, Mindset, Miniseries, Planning, Productivity, Time, Tools
Links to other parts of the miniseries:
Duplicate yourself – Part 1
Duplicate yourself – Part 2
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 44 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Duplicate yourself – Part 3
— From Work Less, Make More: Stop Working So Hard and Create the Life You Really Want! By Jennifer White
In this miniseries we’ve been talking about the importance of “duplicating” parts of yourself, and so far we’ve learned what is and is not duplication, as well as what to look for in our “clones.” Today we will determine what to duplicate and how to do so.
While duplicating yourself could possibly entail hiring someone, Jennifer White (the author) says, “that’s limited thinking.” She explains: “You can find the right people who will become partners, vendors, suppliers, strategic allies, independent contractors or employees.”
When you hire employees, you naturally have to deal with a lot of other issues: salaries, taxes, vacations, and so much more. White says you shouldn’t box yourself into thinking that. Instead, “ think about creating a virtual support team. A team you personally select to duplicate parts of who you are.” Technology today enables us to do this and much more.
On Part 1 you answered the questions that enabled you to figure out which qualities in yourself you need/want to duplicate. Now you need to look at the abilities that you need to duplicate. “What is it that these folks will do? Look at the three most important things you do, the activities that add the most value. Within each area, a multitude of items must get done.”
White gives the example of connecting with customers. Let’s assume you are a master at that. Then a very important part of building and maintaining those relationships with your customers is the follow up phase (phone, email, etc.) “What if you could train someone or something to duplicate your follow up process? It would happen automatically—without your doing one thing—and the customers will feel cared for because the follow up was way beyond their expectations.”
ATTENTION HERE: we’re talking duplicating and not delegating the follow-up process. “The difference is that the person/system you create duplicates exactly what you would do if you were to do it. It’s not about you dictating a letter that your assistant types. In that case you’re still doing the work. Duplication means you do not do anything to generate what needs to get done. Nothing.”
Was that last “nothing” appealing but sounded too good to be true? Here are some possibilities for duplicating this example of a follow-up process:
- The right person. Someone who could be an employee, independent contractor or customer service rep can follow up for you. “This person has the exact same personality that you do so the customers feel as if they were talking to you.”
- Hiring a salesperson. This person would handle the contact from first visit to sale. While this normally happens when companies are in the growth stage, White asks, “Why wait until that happens?”
- An automated system. This sends letters, emails, etc., at specified times as follow up. The system duplicates the process. When we feel overwhelmed or overloaded, it is natural to ask who can help you. White, however, suggests you ask a better question: “How can I automate this so no one has to do it?”
As you can see, there are many ways in which you can duplicate yourself and what you do. Both technology and manpower exist at very reasonable costs nowadays to be able to do it, even if you are a solopreneur.
ACTION
TODAY: Jot down the areas that you could potentially duplicate. While it’s counterintuitive, those things that nobody does as well as you do, are exactly what you should duplicate to enlarge your reach, grow your practice, have more time, or whatever your goals are. Once you’ve found out what you want to duplicate, then come up with at least 3 ways to duplicate that activity. White says, “Think in terms of technology and people. How can you automate the process? Who can you bring to your team to duplicate you?”
TOMORROW: Come back to read Part 4 to learn how to know when duplication works!
FUTURE: Keep jotting down the ideas that come to mind about parts of you that you can duplicate with people, systems and/or technology. Remember that there is no such thing as a shortage of ideas. The more parts you duplicate successfully, the more freedom you will have to spend your time and energy in the pursuit of other (related or unrelated) goals.
Please share Part 3 of “Duplicate yourself” with someone who could use a little duplication, you can do so via email, Facebook or Twitter, thank you!
by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Collaboration, Creativity, Goals, Growth, Leadership, Mindset, Miniseries, Planning, Productivity, Time, Tools
Links to other parts of the miniseries:
Duplicate yourself – Part 1
Duplicate yourself – Part 3
Duplicate yourself – Part 4
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 14 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Duplicate yourself – Part 2
— From Work Less, Make More: Stop Working So Hard and Create the Life You Really Want! By Jennifer White
In yesterday’s post we learned that we can, and should, “duplicate” parts of ourselves to increase our output and “make more,” as the title of the book suggests (Work Less, Make More). This does not only refer to money, but also to time, and to the freedom to make the most out of life for ourselves and our goals and dreams.
So let’s jump right in: How do you go about finding the right people to duplicate you?
Jennifer White, the author, has outlined a few aptitudes and attitudes that people should have in order to substitute you well. Give this some thought as you go about this process. (Note: This will help you figure out WHO will duplicate you if you can go that route. However, don’t get discouraged or stop reading this miniseries, since we will also consider WHAT (technology/systems) can duplicate you).
1. Find people who have the right personality for your chemistry. As we saw yesterday, your same chemistry needs to be present in the person that will duplicate you. Find someone with the same characteristics and “don’t downplay the importance of working with folks who have the same chemistry as you.”
2. Find people who have a track record. People’s track records speak for themselves. “Saying you can do something is different from actually doing it. Find people who have already done what you most need. They could bring a new twist or a new idea to what you’ve been doing for so long.”
3. Find people who are willing to commit to the long term. “Developing a powerful relationship requires that you’re both committed to the same vision and the same long-term plan. The last thing you want to do is to train people to duplicate you, and then they jump ship. Be very clear on what you expect from them, and find a way to determine what they want.”
4. Find people who are coachable. “A vital part of duplicating yourself effectively is training. Select folks who are coachable. They’re open to looking at their performances and improving them. You’ll become their coach to ensure they’ll duplicate what you want duplicated. If you’re not willing to coach and train people how to duplicate you, don’t bother looking for the right people. Their success does depend on how much time, energy, and passion you invest in them.”
5. Find people who have the right attitude. “Make sure when you’re looking for the right people that they have a positive mental attitude. There’s nothing as frustrating as working with people who don’t see the positive side of things. No matter how brilliant they are, their bad attitude will wear you down. If you find the right attitude, you can usually teach the rest.”
One final note on this before we move on to Part 3 tomorrow: keep in mind that finding the right people takes time. “Do not rush this process and settle for just anyone. Duplicating a part of who you are is serious stuff. […] You can’t settle for second best.”
ACTION
TODAY: At the end of the chapter in the book, White lists a few exercises to help us succeed at duplicating and at thinking about a few other things. Here’s an important one that you can do today: “Ask yourself this question: ‘What parts of myself make me the most crazy?’ Be clear on your weaknesses so you can identify them in other people as well. When you find the right person to duplicate a part of who you are, don’t be surprised if they also duplicate the not-so-good parts. Are you prepared for that?”
TOMORROW: Come back to read Part 3 to learn how to determine what to duplicate, and how.
Please share Part 2 of “Duplicate yourself” with someone who could use a little duplication, you can do so via email, Facebook or Twitter, thank you!
