by Helena Escalante | Celebration, Growth, Leadership, Mindset
TODAY’S IDEA:
We’re all weird: Weird is your superpower.
— From We Are All Weird: The Myth of Mass and The End of Compliance by Seth Godin
This is a brief but powerful book. As most of the things that Seth Godin writes, it’s simply brilliant. He walks us through a bit of history to understand how we were put inside a box and told to conform to the mass so that we could be labeled as “normal.” Anybody else who did not want to play in that box was considered “weird.” Those at the fringes, the so-called weird, are those whom we now revere and admire: think of a virtuoso today who, as a child, practiced a musical instrument with gusto all the time instead of going out to play. That was considered weird, but it turned out beautiful for the benefit of all involved.
Seth’s definition of weird in this instance is not the negative connotation that we usually associate with the word—by no means. Instead he defines it as: “weird by choice… people who have chosen to avoid conforming to the masses, at least in some parts of their lives.” Weird are those who fly against “the culture of mass and the checklist of normal.” Further, he says “the epic battle of our generation is between the status quo of mass and the never-ceasing tide of weird.”
In this sense, what we are today is far from normal: we’re all happily weird. And I’d like to take this one step forward and declare that your chosen weird (or a combination of all your choices of weird) is what makes you unique and what gives you your superpower. And through your superpower you create impact and give others implicit permission to follow in your footsteps and become their own choice of weird. Like the flame of a candle lighting up other candles, without ceasing to give light by itself.
Make a choice. Choose “an identity and follow a path that matters.” Being your weird self is beautiful. Celebrate it. Embrace it. “We’re at our best when we’re weird and when we’re enabling others to become weird as well.”
Call it weird as Seth does: you are as unique as a snowflake, and always remember that no one does YOU better than YOU. I’ll leave you with Oscar Wilde’s great quote:
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
ACTION:
TODAY: Figure out in which ways you are weird and how this superpower enables you to change your corner of the world for the better. Commit to stop hiding your superpower and embrace it. If you share it with us we will all be better for it.
FUTURE: Weird of the world, unite! Find a tribe where you can belong, or create one that you can lead with your superpower. Engage and share your weirdness. How can your superpower change the world? Here’s a beautiful quote to get you inspired: “Everybody can be great. Because anybody can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subject and your verb agree to serve…. You don’t have to know the second theory of thermodynamics in physics to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.
by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Goals, Growth, Leadership, Resources, Tools
TODAY’S IDEA:
Need help on something? Create your own FAB PAB
–From Work It: Secrets for Success from the Boldest Women in Business by Carrie Kerpen and The Art of People: 11 Simple People Skills That Will Get You Everything You Want by Dave Kerpen.
(Yes, Carrie and Dave are married, they are both rock stars, and they have one of the coolest wedding stories you’ll ever hear!)
So what is a FAB PAB you ask? It’s your own FABulous Personal or Professional Advisory Board.
But isn’t an advisory board for corporations? Originally, yes. But who says that you cannot use the power of an advisory board to your advantage? “You can form an advisory board for any purpose, duration or idea that you choose,” says Dave in his book. And the multiplier effect of having very smart people in the room together—all with the intention of helping you—generates sparks that produce powerful results.
Are you thinking of taking time off from work and going back to school to get a law degree or an MBA? Create a Personal Advisory Board of people you trust who can guide you to make that decision.
Are you thinking of starting a business or growing your existing one? Do as Dave did: realizing he needed a mentor—but being the one with most seniority in his company—he built a Professional Advisory Board. “The members of my advisory board have been game changers in helping me tackle problems I’ve really needed help with and achieve things I’ve really wanted, including launching [a] software company… I found my own mentoring program and I haven’t looked back since.”
“No matter who you are or what you do for a living, a well-constructed advisory board can help you take the next steps to grow personally and professionally. The board can help challenge you, guide you and teach you. […] The key is to find smart, experienced people in whatever area you’d like to focus on.”
And as Carrie’s book explains, we all need guidance on a lot more than workplace related issues. Our lives have many different, interwoven threads and, very likely, one person won’t be able to help you in every single area. That is the beauty of creating your own advisory board made up of people who love you, respect you and want what’s best for you.
Whether formal or informal, your FAB PAB is an invaluable tool to help move you forward. Consider creating one for a reason, a season, or a lifetime, depending on your goals and aspirations. And don’t forget to pay it forward when your turn comes!
ACTION:
TODAY: Figure out where you need help. Draw a circle on a piece of paper: that is your table. Who would you like seated at that table sharing their experience and expertise with you as part of your FAB PAB? List their names (choose wisely and carefully). Contact them.
FUTURE: Once you have contacted them and they’ve agreed to help you, figure out the best way to run your meetings (in person or virtual) so that they are structured, solid, purposeful and efficient to maximize everyone’s time and knowledge. Dave suggests starting with an icebreaking exercise, then sharing one or two challenges, and then going around the table to give everyone a chance to weigh in with their experience, ideas and suggestions. I love this formula. I would add to that: making a promise to the PAB to move swiftly on implementing the ideas/actions, and following up with them individually (prior to the next meeting) to celebrate when a little win happens based on a particular PAB member’s idea, or an introduction they made, etc. (it’s important to keep them in the loop and to show your appreciation).
Happy FAB PABing! Let me know how it goes, and if you’d like to bounce any ideas with me, I’ll be happy to do so. 🙂
by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Goals, Growth, Mindset, Tools
Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 0 seconds. 
TODAY’S IDEA: Move forward imperfectly.
— From Finish: Give Yourself the Gift of Done by Jon Acuff.
Confession time: I am a recovering perfectionist. Yet the more I talk about this, the more I realize that besides the child, the introvert and the party animal inside all of us, there’s also the perfectionist inside us that sometimes rears its ugly head.
If this is your case, read on, your life is about to get so much better!
One of the concepts Acuff describes in his book is that of all-or-nothing: for us perfectionists, when we decide to start something we are all excited, gather the things we will need, and start with big dreams. At some point (usually sooner than later) something happens, there’s a hiccup somewhere, and because it’s no longer perfect, instead of continuing, we give up altogether.
Acuff calls this the day after perfect: “…when imperfection arrives we usually quit. That is why the day after perfect is so important. This is the make-or-break day for every goal. […] The day after perfect is what separates finishers from starters. […] Unfortunately, perfectionism dies slowly. It’s persistent and particularly dangerous because it masquerades as excellence… [People] think the opposite of perfectionism is failure. It’s not. The opposite is finished.”
The good news is the realization that perfectionism exists only in our minds, and thus we have tools (such as the ideas in this book) to control it. Let me leave you with this thought from the book:
“Move forward imperfectly.
Reject the idea that the day after perfect means you’ve failed.
That’s just not true.
You get to try again.
Today, tomorrow, next week.”
ACTION:
TODAY & FUTURE: Commit and recommit every day to move forward imperfectly. Tell someone close to you and whom you trust about this commitment. This way, when the day after perfect strikes and you’ve quit—or you’re thinking about quitting—this same person can remind you of your commitment.
SURPRISE!
I’d like to send you an electronic quote card (for you to print out) to remind you to move forward imperfectly. All you have to do is give me your name and email address in the form below so that I know where to send the card. You’ll get an email message with a PDF file for you to print, cut in four, and put each card in a visible place to remind you to reject the idea that the day after perfect means you’ve failed. No. No. No. Never again. We’re moving forward imperfectly!
by Helena Escalante | Growth, Mindset, Planning, Productivity, Resources, Tools
TODAY’S IDEA:
“Success comes from persistently improving and inventing, not from persistently doing what is not working.”
— From Anything You Want: 40 Lessons for a New Kind of Entrepreneur, by Derek Sivers.
The idea of persistence and dogged determination has been ingrained in us from a very young age. While there is enormous merit in being persistent, we have to make sure that said persistence will take us somewhere: sometimes we are just trying to fit a round peg in a square hole.
We do have to try (or see someone trying) to fit the proverbial round peg at least once into the square hole to realize it won’t work. Substitute this for whatever is not working in your business or life. Once you realize that this is not working for you or anyone involved, improve, switch, redesign, reinvent, modify… experiment and iterate again and again until you get it right. As Leadership Guru John C. Maxwell so wisely says: “Fail early, fail often, but always fail forward.”
By failing “forward” you know that you will learn something and apply that learning to the next iteration of whatever you are doing. Eventually, like Edison*, you’ll find the formula that works. As Derek aptly says in his book:
“Success comes from persistently improving and inventing, not from persistently doing what is not working […] Don’t waste years fighting uphill battles against locked doors. Improve or invent until you get a huge response.”
How do you know it’s finally right? Derek says that your clients will tell you: “Wow! Yes! I need this! I’d be happy to pay you to do this!” Or depending on what you’re doing, you may get any other positive expression of love, gratitude and/or desire to acquire.
* The story goes that Thomas Edison, the inventor of the incandescent filament for light bulbs, experimented and failed ten thousand times before finding the one that worked. When asked about it he said: “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
ACTION:
TODAY: What is a proverbial round peg that you’re dealing with now? Ask WHY 5 times to see what’s the real reason why you’re not moving forward. What is one action that you can take today, (even if it’s just scheduling time in your calendar to deal with this next week) that will move you towards improving what is currently not working?
FUTURE: Grab a journal and take inventory of some—or all—of these areas of your life (the ones that apply to you): physical, intellectual, social, financial, spiritual, marital, parental, emotional, professional, and your hobbies. I’m sure you’re determined to make all of them work, right? (I hope so!) Where are you banging your head against a wall trying to make something work, but it’s just not happening? Write down a few experiments you’d like to try. Write the time/place/date where you will take action, then take action and see if your experiments work to improve the issue. If not, ask WHY 5 times to see what’s the real reason, write it down and try new experiments. Note: the experiments you try can be big, but I suggest breaking them down into small, manageable chunks. It’s easier when the chunks are not earth-shattering, enormously time consuming or eat up a month’s budget: minor tweaks work too.
I’ll share with you a couple of examples of small tweaks that worked for me recently:
- My husband and I, for a while, tried to have a “date night” on Wednesdays… dismal failure. Work and everyday obligations got in the way. The experiment? Switched it to Saturday mornings. The result? It’s just fantastic because we don’t have to worry about work the next day, and we can tackle any pending issues over the rest of the weekend.
- I was going crazy with one of my client’s electronic billing systems. I do some work for this client on and off; so it’s not often enough to remember clearly how to deal with the convoluted system, but often enough to deal with the system to the point of annoyance. Then I read somewhere that it’s worth establishing a system for anything that you do more than TWO times. Eureka! What a concept… eye-opening indeed! The experiment? Create a system. My “system” became a cheat sheet where I detailed the process—step-by-step—that I needed to follow every time. The result? Smooth sailing every time now that I use my client’s system. Voilà! No more frustration.
So now it’s your turn. Try out inventing, experimenting, improving, enhancing… and let me know how it goes!
by Helena Escalante | Goals, Growth, Leadership, Mindset
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 5 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Stop waiting and pick yourself
I’ve heard and read this idea many times, and I don’t know where it originated, but I’m so glad it’s been going around because it is so wise and so true!
Sometimes we find ourselves waiting for something: permission, or the right time to come, or to get the right title/designation, or for people to see us differently… or, or, or… who knows. But that is simply a hurdle of our own making on our way to where we want to go.
This reminds me of the description of “The Waiting Place” in Dr. Seuss’ beloved book Oh, the Places You’ll Go!: (click on the book
The Waiting Place…
…for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or the waiting around for a Yes or No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.
Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for the wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.
NO!
That’s not for you!
No more waiting around. No one but YOU has to choose YOU as a passionate and capable individual to do what you want to do. And no one but YOU has to believe in YOU that YOU can do it. Take the lead in your life. When you change your mindset and start believing that you are indeed capable, this triggers a whole process that enables you to have the confidence you need because you are not waiting for anyone to anoint you as worthy. Furthermore, you’ll be able to find the resources you need and to overcome the obstacles you’ll face without reverting to The Waiting Place.
Please note that I’m NOT saying that by you choosing yourself you’ll magically transform into what you want. No. No. No. You still have to put in the hours and do the work to make it happen. The difference is that you will believe and prove to yourself that you can do it. And every achievement along the way (no matter how small) and every milestone will further reiterate that you can—and you will—reach your goal.
Remember to keep asking yourself: If not you, who? If not now, when? The answer will always lead back to you and now. And I’ll be here cheering for your success!
ACTION:
TODAY: Pick yourself and (re)commit to what you want to do this year. What one thing can you do today (even if it’s just to take 30 seconds to write a plan on the back of a napkin) that will move you towards your goal(s)?
FUTURE: Funny enough, 33 days have passed since the beginning of the year and (counting today) there are 333 days left. So in the spirit of Count Von Count’s Number 3, let’s look at 3 things:
- Take time to reflect on where you have been “waiting.”
- Ask WHY three five times to see what’s got you stuck and determine to pick yourself as the one to get you out of the proverbial waiting mode. What do you need to do to snap out of the waiting funk?
- Once you’re no longer in waiting mode, (re)start or continue where you left off on your goals/rituals for this year.
One last thing: let me know if you’d like to be a part of a Facebook group for accountability and goals. I have heard from a few gurupies who are interested, so we may start small but mighty!
by Helena Escalante | Growth, Leadership, Mindset, Tools
TODAY’S IDEA:
Rule Number 6.
–From The Art of Possibility: Transforming Professional and Personal Life, by Rozamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander.
I must preface this post by saying that this book is one of my favorites and I think it should be in the hands of every person in the whole wide world! I cannot recommend it enough. Also, the audio book is a treasure, because it’s filled with beautiful music thanks to Ben Zander, who serves as musical director of the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra and the Boston Philharmonic Youth Orchestra (on the date of publication of this post).
There is no better way to explain today’s idea, Rule Number 6, than to quote this masterful story directly from the book:
«Two prime ministers are sitting in a room discussing affairs of state. Suddenly a man bursts in, apoplectic with fury, shouting and stamping and banging his fist on the desk. The resident prime minister admonishes him: “Peter,” he says, “kindly remember Rule Number 6,” whereupon Peter is instantly restored to complete calm, apologizes, and withdraws. The politicians return to their conversation, only to be interrupted yet again twenty minutes later by an hysterical woman gesticulating wildly, her hair flying. Again the intruder is greeted with the words: “Marie, please remember Rule Number 6.” Complete calm descends once more, and she too withdraws with a bow and an apology. When the scene is repeated for a third time, the visiting prime minister addresses his colleague: “My dear friend, I’ve seen many things in my life, but never anything as remarkable as this. Would you be willing to share with me the secret of Rule Number 6?” “Very simple,” replies the resident prime minister. “Rule Number 6 is ‘Don’t take yourself so g—damn seriously.'” “Ah,” says his visitor, “that is a fine rule.” After a moment of pondering, he inquires, “And what, may I ask, are the other rules?”
“There aren’t any.”»
Don’t you just LOVE Rule Number 6? I know I do. Whenever I’m all worked up about something, I think of Rule Number 6 and I laugh out loud, even if I’m by myself (thank goodness my dog doesn’t speak, otherwise the stories about me he would tell!).
Rule Number 6 snaps me immediately out of whatever funk I’m in. It makes me look for another angle to solve a problem or a different way to make things happen. It also helps me make a positive experience out of whatever may be happening at that moment (and that I consider too important and too serious).
Another way in which I’ve come to apply Rule Number 6 is by thinking this: if I may be able to look back in the future and laugh at what I’m going through right now, what prevents me from laughing at it this very moment? How can I make that mindshift now and shorten the time it takes to get to the laughter and the lessons learned? Easier said than done, but a worthwhile exercise every time I’ve tried.
ACTION:
(NOTE: One of our gurupies* had a great idea: to give actions in bite-size pieces; some sort of “Today’s action is….” for those of you that don’t have much time. I think this is brilliant and I’m implementing it right away. Also, for those of you that may want to continue applying the action in the future, I’m also including things you can do if you want to explore a bit more. Let me know how you like this new approach, and of course, I welcome ALL your ideas and suggestions with open arms!)
TODAY: Share the story of Rule Number 6 with your world; I’m sure they’ll love it. Make a point of keeping it in mind throughout the day and seeing the many ways in which you can apply it (or in which it could serve others to apply it!).
FUTURE: Ask your family, friends and colleagues to remind you of Rule Number 6 when you need it. Ask if you can do the same for them. It will eventually become a habit to invoke Rule Number 6 and find new ways of seeing things. You’ll be less stressed and much happier.
Happy RuleNumberSixing! 😀
* Gurupie = blend of guru and groupie = how we fondly refer to the EntreGurus’ community, because we all follow the ideas of the gurus.
