by Helena Escalante | Goals, Growth, Mindset, Planning
TODAY’S IDEA:
“There is no limit to self improvement. Ask yourself daily, ‘how can I do better?’ and sound answers will appear.”
— From The Magic of Thinking Big by David J. Schwartz, Ph.D. (Read an excerpt here.)
The old saying “there is always room for improvement” is so true. Especially with ourselves, we’re always trying to fix something, improve something, make something better (…to continue along the lines of the conversation from yesterday’s post on BHAGs.)
The main thing, according to some experts, is not to be overwhelmed by the amount of things we want to improve on ourselves. For that, it is recommended to start with one thing, say a good habit that you want to create or a bad habit that you want to get rid of, and work on it until it’s ingrained or no longer existing. Then move on to the next thing in your progression toward your goal, and so on. That way you will be taking baby steps and making steady progress toward fulfilling your big, hairy, audacious goals.
The key, I believe, is patience and perseverance. If you’re anything like me, you want everything done or accomplished by yesterday, which means today everything is in place and perfectly put together. It’s taken me much heartache to learn that you cannot rush processes at a personal level, and I’m learning (sloooooowly…) to see the beauty in the journey, not the destination.
So keep the end in mind always (your BHAG) to know where you are going, but make sure you give yourself the time and effort that your goal needs to succeed. Ask yourself daily “how can I do better?” and you will discover that your mind will show you the many ways in which you can do so. And enjoy YOUR journey!
ACTION
Put to the test the many ways in which your mind tells you to do something differently/better and find out which ones work best for you. There is no shame in testing and trying out new things or habits. Adopt what works, discard what doesn’t, and always keep doing this: you will see daily improvements and if you keep a log or journal, you’ll be able to assess your progress.
Remember to be inspired by others but not to compare yourself to them. The only person you can compare yourself to is YOU. Are you better today than yesterday? Than a month ago? Than a year ago? Than 5 or 10 years ago? If the answer is yes, keep going and keep growing. If the answer is no, besides asking the 5 WHYs, give more thought to “how can I do better” and give it your all. You always get out of it as much as you put into it.
I’m thinking of starting a Facebook group for accountability on our goals and to create a community of like-minded, professional and growth-oriented people. Is this something that you’d be interested in? Please let me know! (Thanks a lot if you have already responded.)
by Helena Escalante | Goals, Growth, Leadership, Planning, Tools
TODAY’S IDEA:
Have Big, Hairy, Audacious Goals to keep you going and stimulate your progress.
— From Built to Last: Successful Habits of Visionary Companies by Jim Collins (read or listen to a sample).
Today is the last Friday in January, which means it is National Big Wig Day ™. This is a celebration of “the potential inside of all of us” and the opportunity to lead by example, as any bigwig would do! We are the bigwigs in our lives and today is a reminder that “regardless of title, we can make a difference and improve the lives of others.”
Bigwigs usually have “Big, Hairy, Audacious Goals” or what Jim Collins has coined as BHAGs (pronounced “bee-hags”) in his excellent book. Yet this does not have to be a concept exclusive to the most important and powerful persons/companies in the world. We can learn from them and use BHAGs too, because they are “a particularly powerful mechanism to stimulate progress… There is a difference between merely having a goal and becoming committed to a huge, daunting challenge—like a big mountain to climb.”
A BHAG must be “clear and compelling. […] It has a clear finish line, so [you know] when [you] have achieved the goal. […] A BHAG engages people—it reaches out and grabs them in the gut. It is tangible, energizing, highly focused. People ‘get it’ right away; it takes little or no explanation. […]
The essential point of a BHAG is better captured in such questions as: “Does it stimulate forward progress? Does it create momentum? Does it get [you] going? Does it get [your] juices flowing? Do [you] find it stimulating, exciting, adventurous? Are [you] willing to throw [your] creative talents and human energy into it?”
Whether you are going strong with your new year’s resolutions (woo-hoo!) or they have fizzled out (oops!), it’s time to set a BHAG so that, as February rolls around, you don’t lose your momentum. Remember to stretch yourself and shoot for the stars with your BHAG (whatever your stars are) so that you can either arrive at your stars or land very closely in that direction. Keep in mind this great quote by Michelangelo: “The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.”
ACTION
Based on your new year’s resolutions rituals, goals, or intentions, pick one or two BHAGs (I suggest one personal and one professional) to get you through the rest of the year. Figure out how you will break each one down into manageable pieces month by month. Take some time during the weekend to do this and let’s get started next week on February 1st, deal?
I have my BHAG ready, will you join me with yours? I’m thinking of starting a Facebook group for accountability on our goals and to create a community of like-minded, professional and growth-oriented people. Is this something that you’d be interested in? Please let me know!
I’m cheering for your success!!
P.S. Just for fun, here’s the story behind the term bigwig. (I can’t get over the thought of scaffolding!)
by Helena Escalante | Growth, Mindset, Tools
TODAY’S IDEA:
“Don’t try to impress an invisible jury of MBA professors.”
— From Anything You Want: 40 Lessons for a New Kind of Entrepreneur, by Derek Sivers.
While Derek Sivers uses this idea in terms of being casual when hiring, and it’s fantastic that way, I think it can be extrapolated to so many other areas of life and business where perfectionism creeps up.
When you are performing an action or making a decision, and you hear the voice of your lizard brain stop and think for a moment who you are doing it for. If it’s for yourself, your family, friends, customers or clients, or for a particular intention that you’ve set, that is great. But if it’s to satisfy some invisible jury, or someone’s expectation that weighs heavily on you, or some crazy reason that someone made up to keep you abiding by the etiquette manuals of the Victorian Era… think again. You may be engaging in something that you don’t want to do and, more importantly, that you don’t need to do, simply because of an unrealistic and unnecessary expectation; or your desire to impress or placate someone that simply exists in your mind. This is what Steven Pressfield calls “resistance” or what Jon Acuff means by “perfectionism.”
I know it well because I am a recovering perfectionist. As trite as it sounds, I’ve been my own worst enemy my whole life. I always lived in fear of being inadequate because I judged my work as imperfect. I’d give up at the mere thought of starting something for fear or shame of people thinking my thoughts were crazy and my work would not be good… That invisible, very harsh jury made up of PhDs in Perfection by the University of Perfectville did not exist anywhere but in my mind.
So think twice next time you are about to do something and you hear the voice of perfectionism. Jon Acuff in Finish: Give Yourself the Gift of Done suggests a great exercise to nip in the bud what he calls our “secret rules” (limiting beliefs) by asking “Says who?”
ACTION:
Next time you hear the voice of perfectionism telling you to do or not to do something ask “says who?” and answer honestly. You will see that the invisible jury of MBA professors out to get you is just your lizard brain in disguise, and you’ll get rid of the critics in your mind!
How have you dealt with perfectionism before? What has worked for you? What hasn’t? Let me know in the comments, I’d love to learn from you!
by Helena Escalante | Growth, Leadership, Mindset, Tools
TODAY’S IDEA:
“The Platinum Rule always trumps the Golden Rule.”
— From The Art of People: 11 Simple People Skills That Will Get You Everything You Want by Dave Kerpen
We all grew up being taught the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” However, it’s very likely that at some point you did something that you thought was genuinely good and it turned out to be a mess. Yikes! Welcome to the world and to the human race. What about when someone did something that they thought was great and you were not so pleased? Ugh.
What’s the lesson here? Empathy. Dave Kerpen hits the nail in the head: “Everyone is different, and the truth is that in many cases what you’d want done to you is different from what your partner, employee, customer, investor, wife, or child would want done to him or her.” In light of this, he coined the Platinum Rule: “Do unto others as they would want done to them.”
This is the proverbial walking a mile in someone else’s shoes, yet it is so important and so true. Not until we see someone else’s perspective can we understand them. We yearn to be understood and appreciated: let’s do the same for others.
ACTION:
On any given day there are things people do that aggravate us in minor or major ways; and there are always things we do that aggravate people to a certain degree. Let’s keep this wonderful quote by Stephen M.R. Covey in mind:
“We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior.”
Hmmmmm, see the difference? Next time you are aggravated, stop and think what the intention must have been—or ask if you get a chance—and you’ll see this makes an enormous difference. Likewise, when someone doesn’t like something you did, try to explain the intention behind it and you’ll likely see the situation defuse as the other person sees where you’re coming from.
Slowly but surely, the empathy muscle will start building up when you see things from this perspective. This way you’ll also be able to take a proactive look ahead and figure out what other persons’ want or need and apply The Platinum Rule.
While this is not a recipe to avoid making mistakes, when you take a more empathic and compassionate look at our fellow human beings, you’ll see that, for the most part, we are all doing the best that we can with the mental toolkit that we have at our disposal at any given moment.
What tips can you share about empathy? Let me know in the comments, I’d love to know!
by Helena Escalante | Goals, Growth, Resolutions, Willpower
TODAY’S IDEA:
“Make rituals, not resolutions.”
— From Faster Than Normal: Turbocharge Your Focus, Productivity, and Success with the Secrets of the ADHD Brain by Peter Shankman. (Read an excerpt here.)
Whether you make new year’s resolutions or you simply resolve to do something any time throughout the year, you have probably experienced failure in that arena. Resolutions fail so much because, while well-intentioned, they are little more than wishful thinking. Rituals work because they become ingrained habits that lead us to the successful outcome we want.
In Peter Shankman’s words: “It’s a process—and not one that comes easily. It takes work, determination, focus and repetition. You need to know that you’re going to fail on occasion. But the end result is worth it, and the trick is to constantly focus on both how you feel when you do it and how you feel when you don’t.”
Peter has a simple four-step process to create rituals:
- Create a ritual that produces positive feelings for you
- Work backward from the reward to set the steps in place to make you succeed
- Build fail-safes, that is, processes in place so that if something fails, some other thing (a reminder, a process, or whatever else works for you) will kick in to help you continue to build your habit/ritual.
- Visualize yourself achieving the goal for which you are building this habit.
But remember that simple does not mean easy, because this is about building a new habit. The key is not to give up if you break the initial streak of continuity and consistency, that’s what Peter refers to as failing on occasion. Yes, you will be out with your friends and keeping up with your diet until you eat the double chocolate fudge ooey-gooey brownie with ice-cream and sprinkles. Don’t beat yourself up, just enjoy it and make sure you learn something from it. Could it be that the diet food is making you hungry and unsatisfied? Maybe you need to change to another diet or eat to satiety more of your allowed foods. Could it be that you are simply tired and your reserves of willpower are depleted? (See this idea). Maybe you can go to brunch or lunch with your friends as opposed to dinner. Use failure as a time for analysis and growth, as opposed to a time for being angry at yourself. Remember Einstein’s quote: “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.”
ACTION:
Commit today to start creating a ritual that will help you achieve a desired goal. What will your ritual be? How will it help you actualize one (or many, why not?) of your goals this year? Can’t wait to hear about this!
by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Goals, Growth, Habits, Mindset, Planning, Time, Tools
Estimated reading time: 7 minutes, 57 seconds. → This is a special post to kick off the New Year. It’s longer than the regular daily ones (that you can read in under 5 min), but my hope is that it will spark some ideas and propel you into action.
I will NEVER make New Year’s Resolutions again…
December 31st used to roll around, I’d make tons of great-sounding resolutions, and anytime between late January 1st and January 8th, they would be gone: #resolutionfail. I’d feel like a failure, throw my hands in the air and resign my self to feel like a loser.
Not anymore! Resolutions don’t work for me—and I guess they don’t work for most other people—because they are merely feel-good wishes. But let’s reframe for a second here: what if we take those wishes and turn them into actions by converting them into SMART goals?
SMART is an acronym that is used for setting goals, it stands for:
S – Specific
M – Measurable
A – Achievable
R – Realistic
T – Timebound
So let’s run through each one of these points to turn a resolution into a goal:
One of my resolutions was to “exercise more.” While that sounds great in principle, it’s setting me up for failure because it’s broadly defined. What does exercise and more mean?
S – Specific
Set your goal in as much detail as possible. In my case: I will do some form of aerobic exercise for 30 minutes a minimum of 5 days per week. My 2 faves are jogging and cycling, but I may change them for variety once in a while: elliptical, stairclimber, swimming, etc., depending on where I am and how much time I have. I will do some form of resistance exercise for 15 to 20 min a minimum of 3 days per week. This can be free weights, body weight exercises or using some sort of equipment at the gym.
M – Measurable
How will you know when you have succeeded? Specify what you are going to measure, that way you will know when you have reached your goal, big or small. By stating that I will do 30 min aerobic exercise a minimum of 5 days per week, I know what I need to schedule and I’ve set a measure for accountability and success. Same with the weights/resistance exercise for 15-20 min at minimum of 3 days per week.
A – Achievable
Can you meet this goal? Given my schedule and time constraints, this sounds like it’s indeed a doable goal. However, I will give myself the gift of flexibility and test it out. If, for some reason, my circumstances change as the year progresses and the goal becomes too hard or too easy, I will allow myself to revisit and fine-tune so that the goal becomes achievable for me again.
Remember that these are YOUR goals, and the more accommodating you are to making them happen, the more you will participate in them and enjoy them.
Peter Shankman in his book Faster Than Normal talks about setting up fail-safes so that you can guarantee that you can get done what you need to get done. A fail-safe is simply a process that you set up so that if A fails, then B kicks in to fix A or to make sure A gets done. Let me give you an example.
Let’s say that I want to get up early to exercise. I set up my alarm clock and when it goes off in the morning I hit snooze. My plan to get up has failed. But what if I also set up the alarm on my phone to go off at the same time as my alarm clock AND leave the phone outside my bedroom? That ensures that I will get up from my slumber to turn it off. And I will jump out of my bed really fast since I don’t want the alarm from my phone to disturb my husband’s sleep. So that ensures I’ll be up… might as well go exercise.
R – Realistic
Given your constraints, can your goal be attained? The expectations you set must be based on reality. My goal is certainly realistic given my fitness level and my work/time constraints. I’m not setting myself up for failure by wanting to go from zero to running a marathon in one week or some other non-realistic goal.
This point is key, because it is here where our wishful thinking can derail us as we start the New Year with grand hopes and expectations for us. Allow yourself to set big goals, but break them down into realistic bite-sized pieces so that you can complete one at a time. Consistency is better than perfection anytime. And remember that there will come a day, or two, or twelve (!)… when you will want to give up. STOP. Do. Not. Give. Up.
The weather may be ugly. Or you have bad hair day. Or you just aren’t seeing the progress you anticipated. Or. Or. Or… Just remember Woody Allen’s quote on those days: “Eighty percent of success is showing up.” And since you showed up, might as well do what you needed to do anyway.
OR… and this a big one… if you are not going to fulfill that day’s habit, then renegotiate the promise you made with yourself. OK, so no exercise today because there is a cloud in the sky (or insert excuse here) and you will simply take it back on again tomorrow. Deal. And this is OK too. Just make sure that you learn a lesson from that missed date. Perhaps you are tired because you didn’t sleep well – what do you need to do to ensure you sleep well so that this does not happen again? Reflect on the valuable lesson that you learned so that you can put fail-safes in place to avoid the same from happening in a future. Also, reevaluate your goal to make sure it is still doable. If not, figure out what necessary modifications you need to make to ensure you meet that goal.
The Realistic part applies not only to the goal itself but also to the process of getting it done. Be flexible and don’t give up.
T – Timebound
This is another key point that goes hand in hand with the Realistic one. When you set up times for performing and for completing, make sure they are realistic. You can get a lot of things done, if you just figure out how many hours it will take you to do so. Enter again our dear friend wishful thinking.
I love this quote from Bill Gates because it is so true: “Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.”
The best way to figure out what amount of time something is going to take is to assign it the time you think it will take. One of two things can happen:
- Parkinson’s Law will kick in. This law states that: “work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion”. And if you only have a certain amount of time to do something, very likely you will get it done within that timeframe.
- You will have a realistic assessment of the time that you will need to get that thing done. If you finish earlier than expected, congrats! You can move on to the next thing. Or if you really need more time, by now you’ll be able to assess how much more you need and schedule it accordingly.
And this reminds me of two of Laura Vanderkam’s great books: 168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think and What the Most Successful People Do Before Breakfast: How to Achieve More at Work and at Home.
The basic premise of both books is that we look at our time in chunks of 24 hours and want to cram as much as possible in that time span with the consequent disappointment, frustration and overwhelm. When we look at a week, we can plan better if we recognize that we have 168 hours. Even if we give ourselves the luxury of sleeping 8 hours a night, that takes only 56 hours away, leaving us with 112 hours to adapt our week to lots of professional and personal things that otherwise we’d never plan on doing.
And if we look at a weekend in a similar vein (from 6 pm on Friday when we leave work and the weekend “officially” starts to Monday at 6 am when the alarm clock goes off) we have 60 hours. Even if we sleep 24 hours, that leaves us with 36 hours to play, do chores or tackle our to-do list – that is almost the same amount of time as a full time job! (40 hours)
Laura’s point in all of this is the importance of planning: what gets scheduled gets done. Scheduling the time and truly devoting it to the activities that will help you achieve your goals is the best way to ensure that those goals will be met and you will be able to check them off your to-do or you bucket list.
As this new year begins, make a list of your goals, break them down into the components that make a SMART goal, and then schedule the times in your calendar, and respect those times as a promise you make to yourself so that you can make sure they get done. If for some reason comes a day or time when you cannot do it (and it will come), don’t beat yourself up, simply renegotiate with yourself (just as you would with any other person if you were doing something for them) and notice what you learn.
Hope this helps! Let me know what your goals are in the comments below. And please, schedule in your calendar 5 minutes at this time next year so that you can tell me how the process went.
I’m thrilled for you and cheering for your success!! 🙂
