by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Goals, Growth, Habits, Mindset, Opportunity, Tools, Wellbeing
Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 6 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: School is never out
— From 177 Mental Toughness Secrets of the World Class: The Thought Processes, Habits and Philosophies of the Great Ones by Steve Siebold
Steve Siebold, mental toughness guru, asked himself twenty years ago why some people were more successful and fulfilled than others. “Were they smarter? More educated? More talented?” He wondered… But, “the answer is no,” he says.
In his book 177 Mental Toughness Secrets of the World Class, Siebold mentions that he has indeed come across a genius or two over the years. But the answer to his questions is much simpler in 99% of the cases: Great people “become great because they are more mentally tough. Through time and effort, they have learned to take control of their thoughts, feelings and attitudes in the game of life and, in turn, life has rewarded them handsomely.”
Much to my delight, the author then goes on to say, “You can do the same thing if you’ll commit yourself to never ending personal growth and development.” (Hint: I know of a blog that will help you with that… 😉 ) “Champions invest time in getting better. School is never out for the great ones.”
Further, I laughed when Siebold asked, “Have you ever been to the bookstore and wondered who reads all those business and self-improvement books?” I think I know someone… Now, seriously, he continues, “The people who need it most wouldn’t even consider it, and the people who need it least wouldn’t consider missing it. A never-ending cycle of self-education is the centerpiece of world-class consciousness. All it takes to get started is the decision to do it.”
And I’ll leave you with one of my favorite quotes:
“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.” – Dr. Seuss. From I Can Read with My Eyes Shut!
ACTION
TODAY: Siebold suggests asking yourself a few critical thinking questions: “Am I really committed to going pro? Am I willing to do whatever it takes to fulfill my vision?” Then make the decision, today, to never stop growing and always keep learning.
FUTURE: Once you’ve made the decision, remember that success leaves clues. Who has done what you want to do? How can you learn from this person? Never stop learning in your area of interest. Remember what Earl Nightingale said: “If a person will spend one hour a day on the same subject for five years, that person will be an expert on that subject.”
Know someone who is a lifelong learner? Please share this with them via email, Facebook or Twitter, thanks!
by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Growth, Habits, Mindset, Planning, Tools, Wellbeing
Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 24 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: My response is my responsibility
— From: Habit Changers: 81 Game-Changing Mantras to Mindfully Realize Your Goals by M. J. Ryan
We all have our hot buttons that, when pushed, inevitably cause problems in the form of us getting upset, or saying things we shouldn’t, etc. And whether we point fingers and blame (“you made me mad”) or not (“I get so mad when XYZ happens”), the truth is that the only response we can control is ours.
M.J. Ryan, the author of Habit Changers, addresses this in a masterful mantra: “My response is my responsibility.” She goes on to say: “That doesn’t mean that the other person didn’t do whatever it is I’m worked up about, but rather that I alone am responsible for my reaction.”
The author shares how she deals with this: “If I get worked up, I need to deal with my reaction within myself until I’ve cooled down enough to decide whether this is an issue that needs to be addressed with the other person. Because it is only when I am calm that I can talk about it in a way that does no damage to me, the other person, or our relationship. Otherwise, I’m likely to say or do things that are mean or destructive because the ‘fight’ of the fight-or-flight response has taken control of my brain.”
Ryan’s suggestion is to give this a try if we find ourselves playing the blame game at home or work. She says, “You are responsible for your response, and it’s up to you to be as skillful in responding as possible.”
So true!
ACTION
TODAY: Give yourself some time to think about how profound a mindset shift this mantra brings. Identify your hot buttons and put past scenarios of times when they’ve been pushed against this mantra. What happens? I bet they melt away.
That’s what happened to me with one particularly ridiculous hot button of mine. It was a stupid, irrational and unfounded hot button (are any hot buttons smart, rational and well-founded??), and when it got pushed… Oh, no! It would drive me nuts! Once the realization that my response is my responsibility really sank in, then I felt truly embarrassed: how foolish of me to react in the way I have been reacting all this time! But this helped me become very aware of that particular button and be mindful of my reaction to it should it come up again in the future.
My hope is that sharing this story will help you set the intention to remember this mantra when one of your hot buttons gets pushed. That way you will be able to react better.
FUTURE: Make a mental note of being aware of the times when your hot buttons get pushed. Then keep the mantra in mind until you’ve cooled down and can skillfully respond.
Know someone who might benefit from this idea? Please share this post: Email, Facebook, Twitter. Thank you!
by Helena Escalante | Goals, Growth, Habits, Mindset, Opportunity, Planning, Time, Tools
Estimated reading time: 4 minutes, 18 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: 6 Techniques for Installing Good Habits
— From The Compound Effect: Jumpstart Your Income, Your Life, Your Success by Darren Hardy
In the last two posts (here and here), success guru Darren Hardy has taught us how to eliminate bad habits that can lead us in the wrong direction if left unchanged. Now is the time to create and instill new, good habits that will lead us to the success we desire.
“Eliminating a bad habit means removing something from your routine. Installing a new, more productive habit requires an entirely different skill set. You’re planting the tree, watering it, fertilizing it, and making sure it’s properly rooted. Doing so takes effort, time and practice.”
Hardy points out that, “you can change a habit in a second or you can still be trying to break it after ten long years… The key is staying aware.” If you want to ingrain a good habit, pay attention to it, and positively reinforce yourself at least once a day over a minimum of three weeks, and you’ll be more likely to succeed.
Here are the author’s six techniques for installing good habits:
1. Set yourself up to succeed. “Any habit has to work inside your life and lifestyle. If you join a gym that’s thirty miles away you won’t go. If you’re a night owl but the gym closes at 6 p.m., it won’t work for you.” Hardy talks about his addiction to email and how he can lose hours of focus every day if he doesn’t control it. Thus, he set up the habit of checking email three times a day. Period. No more falling into a time vortex.
2. Think addition, not subtraction. The “add-in principle” works wonders: instead of focusing on what you are sacrificing to get rid of your habit, focus on what you are adding to your life. For instance, if you’re trying to eat healthy, don’t focus on not being able to eat french fries (e.g. I can’t eat french fries). Instead, think of what you can have (e.g. I’m having a yummy salad with fresh fruit for dessert). When you think of what you can “add-in” to your life, the results are stronger and powerful.
3. Go for a PDA: Public Display of Accountability. “Want to cement that new habit? Get Big Brother to watch you. It’s never been easier with all the social media available… Tell your family. Tell your friends. Tell Facebook and Twitter. Get the word out there…” Once you tell the world what you are going to do, it’s much easier to stick to it, as you’ll be held accountable by those who know you. Also, there are online apps like Stickk.com where you are held accountable for your goals in your own terms.
4. Find a success buddy. “To up your chances of success, get a success buddy, someone who’ll keep you accountable as you cement your new habit while you return the favor.” Hardy shares his experience of having a Peak-Performance Partner: “Every Friday at 11 a.m. sharp, we have a thirty-minute call during which we trade our wins, losses, fixes, ah-has, and solicit the needed feedback and hold each other accountable.”
5. Competition and camaraderie. “There’s nothing like a friendly contest to whet your competitive spirit and immerse yourself in a new habit with a bang. […] What kind of friendly competition can you organize with your friends, colleagues or teammates? How can you inject fun rivalry and a competitive spirit into your new habits?”
6. Celebrate! “There should be a time to celebrate, to enjoy some of the fruits of your victories along the way. You can’t go through this thing sacrificing yourself with no benefit. You’ve got to find little rewards to give yourself every month, every week, every day—even something small to acknowledge that you’ve held yourself to a new behavior. Maybe time to yourself to take a walk, relax in the bath, or read something just for fun. For bigger milestones, book a massage or have dinner at your favorite restaurant. And promise yourself a nice big pot of gold when you reach the end of the rainbow.”
The last piece of advice that Hardy shares is that we need to be patient with ourselves because change is hard. “Creating new habits… will take time. Be patient with yourself. If you fall off the wagon, brush yourself off (not beat yourself up!), and get back on. No problem. We all stumble. Just go again and try another strategy; reinforce your commitment and consistency. When you press on, you will receive huge payoffs.”
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” – Will Durant
ACTION
TODAY: Figure out what is the best way or ways to keep yourself accountable. Do you need to tell the world via social media? Work with an accountability buddy? Set milestones and determine how you’ll celebrate when you reach them.
FUTURE: Give yourself the gift of installing a new habit that you’ve wanted to have for a long time. Read this post about 100% commitment and commit to doing it this time. No matter what. You know you want it!
Know someone who wants to create a new habit? Please share this post! Email, Facebook or Twitter.
by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Creativity, Goals, Growth, Habits, Mindset, Planning, Time, Tools
Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 48 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Run a vice check
— From The Compound Effect: Jumpstart Your Income, Your Life, Your Success by Darren Hardy
Yesterday we learned from Darren Hardy, entrepreneur and author of The Compound Effect, about 5 strategies for eliminating bad habits. Today we will learn another strategy to make sure that we are always in control of our behavior.
Hardy emphasizes that he is not suggesting you cut out every “bad” thing in your life. Almost everything is good in moderation, yet sometimes habits take the reigns of our existence.
To avoid that, precisely, is that Hardy suggests running a vice check to ensure you are in control at all times. The author explains:
I believe in testing my vices. Every so often, I go on a “vice fast.” I pick one vice, and check in to make sure I’m still the alpha dog in our relationship. My vices are coffee, ice cream, wine, and movies. I already told you about my ice cream obsession. When it comes to wine, I want to be sure I’m enjoying a glass and celebrating the day, not drowning a bad mood.
About every three months, I pick one vice and abstain for thirty days… I love proving to myself that I am still in charge. Try this yourself. Pick a vice—something you do in moderation, but you know doesn’t contribute to your highest good—and take yourself on a thirty-day wagon run. If you find it seriously difficult to abstain for those thirty days, you may have found a habit worth cutting out of your life.
There you have it. I suggest that next to the list of bad habits you started yesterday, you include a list of vices to check. And then start checking them every so often to ensure you are always in control.
ACTION
TODAY: Add a list of vices to check next to your list of habits to change. Pick a date to get started and note it on your calendar.
FUTURE: Set a 30-day period on your calendar to do your first vice check. Test it out once and see if you’d like to do it again, just as Hardy does, about four times a year.
Know someone who would like this idea? Please share this post! Email, Facebook or Twitter.
by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Goals, Growth, Habits, Mindset, Tools
Estimated reading time: 4 minutes, 19 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: 5 Strategies for eliminating bad habits
— From The Compound Effect: Jumpstart Your Income, Your Life, Your Success by Darren Hardy
“Habits and behaviors never lie,” says Darren Hardy, entrepreneur and author of The Compound Effect. “If there’s a discrepancy between what you say and what you do, I’m going to believe what you do every time.”
Based on what we do, Hardy suggests making a list of bad or not-so-good habits that we want to eliminate. Take a good look at your actions, they speak much louder than your words. Hardy says,
If you tell me you want to be healthy, but you’ve got Doritos dust on your fingers, I’m believing the Doritos. If you say self-improvement is a priority, but you spend more time with your Xbox than at the library, I’m believing the Xbox. If you say you’re a dedicated professional, but you show up late and unprepared, your behavior rats you out every time. You say your family is your top priority, but if they don’t appear on your busy calendar, they aren’t, really.
Habits take us by the reigns unless we consciously make an effort to change them. Let’s look at five strategies to “uproot those sabotaging bad habits and plant new, positive, and healthy ones in their place.”
“Your habits are learned; therefore, they can be unlearned.”
Hardy shares some game-changing strategies, yet the overall key, he says, “is to make your why-power so strong that it overwhelms your urges for instant gratification.”
1. Identify your triggers. After you finished your list, look at the habits you want to change, and identify “The Big 4s” that trigger those habits: (1) who, (2) what, (3) where, and (4) when.
2. Clean house. “Get to scrubbin’,” says Hardy. “And I mean this literally and figuratively. Get rid of whatever enables your bad habits.” Depending on what your goal is, get rid of all the things that trigger even the slightest thought of it. For instance, he says, “If you want to eat more healthfully, clean your cupboards of all [that’s non-healthy], stop buying the junk food—and stop buying into the argument that it’s ‘not fair’ to deny the other people in your family junk food just because you don’t want it in your life… everyone in your family is better off without it.”
3. Swap it. “Look again at your list of bad habits. How can you alter them so that they’re not as harmful? Can you replace them with healthier habits or drop-kick them altogether? As in, for good.” For instance, Hardy says that he loves something sweet after eating, yet if there’s ice cream, it’ll turn into a 1200-calorie binge fest. Instead, he simply eats two Hershey’s kisses that only add 50 calories to his diet. What can you replace progressively or swap out completely?
4. Ease in. “For some of your long-standing and deep-rooted habits, it may be more effective to take small steps to ease into unwinding them. You may have spent decades repeating, cementing, and fortifying those habits, so it can be wise to give yourself some time to unravel them, one step at a time.” Hardy tells of a time when he and his wife decided to cut caffeine out of their diet. Instead of going cold turkey, he recalls, “We first went to 50/50—50 percent decaffeinated and 50 percent regular for a week. Then 100 percent decaf for another week. Then Earl Grey decaf tea for a week, followed by decaf green tea. It took us a month to get there, but we didn’t suffer even a moment of caffeine withdrawal—no headaches, no sleepiness, no brain fog, no nothing.”
5. Or jump in. “Not everyone is wired the same way. Some researchers have found that it can be paradoxically easier for people to make lifestyle changes if they change a great many bad habits at once.” Hardy tells stories of people who have come out of surgery and have changed their lifestyle and dietary habits completely. Or people who have gone cold turkey.
On these two last points, Hardy likens it to wading into a body of cold water or jumping in. Each one of us is different and we know what will work best for us. To determine this, he suggests asking yourself, “Where can I start slow and hold myself accountable?” and “Where do I need to take that bigger leap? Where have I been avoiding pain or discomfort, when I know deep down that I’ll adapt in no time if I just go for it?”
ACTION
TODAY: Make a list of the habits that you’d like to change and identify your “Big 4” triggers. Think of whether there is a way to swap it or if you prefer to eliminate it altogether.
FUTURE: Clean house and determine if you’ll ease in or jump in. Then do it. Make sure you have a strong enough WHY to help move you forward. Give yourself at least three months to ensure that the old habit is gone and that the new one is getting ingrained.
Know someone who’s trying to kick a habit? Please share this post! Email, Facebook or Twitter.
by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Creativity, Goals, Growth, Habits, Leadership, Mindset, Miniseries, Tools
Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 14 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: 3 Actions to improve teachability
— From Success 101: What Every Leader Needs to Know by John C. Maxwell
Yesterday John C. Maxwell warned us against resting on our laurels and, instead, gave us five guidelines to cultivate and maintain an attitude of teachability.
While those guidelines were great to keep in mind, the question that came up revolved around specific actions that we could take to improve our teachability. Fortunately, Maxwell foresaw this question and, in today’s post—from the same book, Success 101—he offers the following three actions to ensure we’re always growing and always cultivating and maintaining an attitude of teachability.
1. Observe how you react to mistakes. “Do you admit your mistakes? Do you apologize when appropriate? Or are you defensive? Observe yourself. And ask a trusted friend’s opinion. If you react badly—or you make no mistakes at all—you need to work on your teachability.”
2. Try something new. “Go out of your way today to do something different that will stretch you mentally, emotionally, or physically. Challenges change us for the better. If you really want to start growing, make new challenges part of your daily activities.”
3. Learn in your area of strength. “Read six to twelve books a year on leadership or your field of specialization,” says Maxwell. “Continuing to learn in an area where you are already an expert prevents you from becoming jaded and unteachable.” Besides those books in your area of specialty, I know of a blog that can help you keep learning and growing daily… 😉
Finally, I’ll leave you with a story and a thought that Maxwell tells about Tuff Hedeman, a professional bull riding cowboy at rodeos. “After winning his third world championship, [he] didn’t have a big celebration. He moved on to Denver to start the new season—and the whole process over again. His comment: ‘The bull won’t care what I did last week.’ Whether you are an untested rookie or a successful veteran, if you want to be a champion tomorrow, be teachable today.”
“The most important thing about education is appetite.” — Winston Churchill
ACTION
TODAY: I challenge you to try something new as explained above. Today go out of your way to do something that will stretch you.
FUTURE: Create the habit of challenging yourself daily. Whether it’s 5 more minutes on the treadmill at a slightly faster pace, or recalling the names of 10 of the Saturn moons, or giving a genuine and caring compliment to a colleague whom you don’t like that much (Eek… I tried this one and it’s so hard!), do whatever stretches you where you need it most on that day or that period of time.
Know someone who is always growing? Please share this post with that person: email, Facebook or Twitter. Thanks!
