Steven Pressfield, renowned author, has written much about Resistance as part of our work (The War of Art, Turning Pro, Do The Work). Resistance is that chatter inside our head that criticizes all we do, prevents us from starting or continuing a project, and wants to sabotage its completion.
However, in Do The Work, Pressfield says, “The opposite of Resistance is Assistance.”The Assistance, whatever form this takes, stands for the love for your dream, your creation, or whatever it is that you are looking to bring to fruition: “The dream is your project, your vision, your symphony, your startup. The love is the passion and enthusiasm that fill your heart when you envision your project’s completion.”
“In myths and legends, the knight is always aided in his quest to slay the dragon. Providence brings forth a champion whose role is to assist the hero. Theseus had Ariadne when he fought the Minotaur. Jason had Medea when he went after the Golden Fleece. Odysseus had the goddess Athena to guide him home. In Native American myths, our totemic ally is often an animal—a magic raven, say, or a talking coyote. In Norse myths, an old crone sometimes assists the hero; in African legends, it’s often a bird. The Three Wise Men were guided by a star. All of these characters or forces represent Assistance.”
Pressfield details how, when Resistance appears (which, in his words, is all the time), he thinks of Charles Lindbergh:
What symphony or Resistance must have been playing in his head when he was struggling to raise the funding for his attempt to fly across the Atlantic solo? “You’re too young, you’re too inexperienced; you’ve got no credentials, no credibility. Everyone who’s tried this has failed and you will, too. It can’t be done. Your plane will crash, you’re going to drown, you’re a madman who is attempting the impossible and you deserve whatever dire fate befalls you!”
(Here’s a great blog post from Pressfield on how to look at and deal with Resistance and self-loathing in a positive way.)
“What saw Lindy through?” asks Pressfield. “It can only have been the dream,” he answers himself. “Love of the idea.”
It is that love of the idea, the visualization of our goal, along with dogged determination, that gets us through the finish line. Pressfield points out that it is in our best interest to keep our end in mind so that “we can align ourselves with these universal forces of Assistance—this dream, this passion to make the unmanifest manifest—and ride them into battle against the dragon.”
After all, Pressfield goes on, “How cool would it be, in 1927, to land at Le Bourget field outside Paris, having flown from New York, solo and non-stop, before anyone else had ever done it?”
Keep your end in mind. Always. And keep working at it. But as you work on it, don’t get so mired in the details that you lose sight of your desired goal. Focus on Assistance, not on Resistance.
If you have 3 minutes, I highly recommend you watch this video of Pressfield talking with Oprah about Resistance.
Let me know in the comments here your favorite way to beat Resistance!
ACTION
TODAY: Rekindle the flame of some dream that you’ve set aside lately because Resistance beat you. Assistance can come to the rescue. Read this post if you are battling impostor syndrome, another manifestation of Resistance.
FUTURE: Focus on Assistance to get you through to the completion of your projects, goals, and dreams. And when you experience Resistance, read this post to overcome any block (writer’s or any other) that you encounter. Keep at it. Think of Lindbergh: how cool will it be when you land on your goal?
Please help others get Assistance for their Resistance by sharing this post! Email, Facebook, Twitter.
Marshall Goldsmith, author and success coach to top CEOs, talks about the importance of receiving feedback. While feedback usually comes from others, in What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, Goldsmith shares a simple technique by which we can give goodand reliable feedback to ourselves to create lasting change.
Sounds too good to be true? Wait until you see how easy—yet how profound—this technique is. It’s all about completing a sentence. Here’s how it works:
Pick one thing that you want to get better at. It could be anything that matters to you—from getting in shape to giving more recognition to lowering your golf handicap. Then list the positive benefits that will accrue to you and the world if you achieve your goal. For example, “I want to get in better shape. If I get in shape, one benefit to me is that…” And then you complete the sentence.
It’s a simple exercise. “If I get in shape, I will… live longer.” That’s one benefit. Then keep doing it. “If I get in shape, I’ll feel better about myself.” That’s two. “If I get in shape, I’ll be a better role model for my family and friends.” And so on until you exhaust the benefits.
At this moment, you are probably wondering what makes this so special. Goldsmith points out that the interesting part of this exercise is that, “as you get deeper into it, the answers become less corporately correct and more personal.”
You start off by saying, “If I become better organized, the company will make more money… my team will become more productive… other people will enjoy their jobs more… and so on.” By the end, however, you’re saying, “If I become more organized, I’ll be a better parent… a better spouse… a better person.”
And so it is that by digging or peeling layers (quite similar to the 5 Whys), we get to the core issue, that is, what is really important to us. Only then, can we find the real reason—the one that motivates and inspires us—to change for the better.
Goldsmith recalls a story of a general in the U. S. Marine Corps who wanted to “become less judgmental.” At first, his resistance was obvious as he completed the first instance cynically by saying, “ If I become less judgmental, I won’t have so much trouble dealing with the clowns at headquarters.” The second answer was quite sarcastic too. By the third one, he had diminished the intensity of the sarcasm. Goldsmith says that by the sixth sentence he was tearing up: “If I become less judgmental, maybe my children will talk to me again.”
When you go deep is when you know that this exercise is working. In the words of Goldsmith: “As the benefits you list become less expected and more personal and meaningful to you, that’s when you know that you’ve given yourself some valuable feedback—that you’ve hit on an interpersonal skill that you really want and need to improve. That’s when you confirm that you’ve picked the right thing to fix.”
ACTION
TODAY: Set up some time aside in your calendar to do this sentence-completion exercise. It will give you important feedback as to what you need to change.
FUTURE: Keep this exercise handy so that you can do it when you need to give yourself good feedback. That way you will be able to change a habit or a behavior that is no longer serving you.
Please share this post to let someone in your circles know how they can give themselves good feedback for lasting change! Email, Facebook, Twitter.
Not too long ago we learned about the term kodawari. This is the Japanese word that refers to the combination of meticulous attention to detail in what we do plus the pride and joy that we feel towards what we do.
Kodawari is an integral part of ikigai (pronunciation), “a Japanese word for describing the pleasures and meanings of life. The word literally consists of iki (to live) and gai (reason).” Thus, it is loosely translated as your reason to live or the reason why you wake up every day.
Author and neuroscientist Ken Mogi, in his book Awakening Your Ikigai, says that ikigai “is used in various contexts, and can apply to small everyday things as well as to big goals and achievements. […] Most importantly, ikigai is possible without your necessarily being successful in your professional life… It is true that having ikigai can result in success, but success is not a requisite condition for having ikigai. It is open to every one of us.”
To this effect, Mogi introduces the five pillars of ikigai that he believes encompass this concept and help us make the best of every moment.
Pillar 1: Starting small → Focusing on the details. Pillar 2: Releasing yourself → Accepting who you are. Pillar 3: Harmony and sustainability → Relying on others. Pillar 4: The joy of little things → Appreciating sensory pleasure. Pillar 5: Being in the here and now → Finding your flow.
Mogi points out that the pillars reinforce each other and enable ikigai to flourish, yet they are not “mutually exclusive or exhaustive, nor do they have a particular order or hierarchy.”
Ikigai is closely related to our sense of happiness. And while Mogi says that there is no absolute formula for happiness, he mentions that accepting yourself is “a low-budget, maintenance-free formula for being happy. […] Accepting yourself is one of the easiest, simplest and most rewarding things you could do for yourself.”
However, Mogi recognizes that no man is an island and draws an analogy: “A man is like a forest, individual yet connected and dependent on others for growth.” And besides learning and getting support from others, one of the fastest ways to grow is by deriving lessons from failure. “After all, in the long process of life, you sometimes stumble and fall. Even at those times, you can have ikigai, even when you are on a losing streak.”
“Ikigai, in a nutshell, is literally from the cradle to the grave, no matter what happens in your life.”
Ikigai is about being mindful and present, enjoying the little things that make up the moment we are living in, and finding our flow as we get lost in the appreciation of the details. And when something goes wrong, “so long as you have ikigai, you can muddle through difficult periods of your life. You can always go back to your safe haven, from where you can start your life’s adventures all over again.”
ACTION
TODAY: Take a look at the five pillars of ikigai. How many do you apply to your life? How many would you benefit from applying? Create the intention of being mindful and aware of all 5 pillars and applying them at least once today.
FUTURE: Celebrate who you area and your ikigai! Also, make it a habit of practicing mindfulness and being aware of the five pillars of ikigai, so that you can apply them in as many instances of your life as possible.
Please share the concept of ikigai with someone today, you can do so via email, Facebook or Twitter, thank you!
Cal Newport is a renowned focus guru and the author of the wonderful book Deep Work. He coined the term Deep Work and defines it as: “Professional activities performed in a state of distraction-free concentration that push your cognitive capabilities to their limit. These efforts create new value, improve your skill, and are hard to replicate.”
Newport says that creating a ritual is important to be able to work for long, uninterrupted—focused and very productive—stretches of time. He uses the examples of Pulitzer Prize-winning biographer Robert Caro and naturalist Charles Darwin, both of whom “didn’t deploy rituals to be weird; they did so because success in their work depended on their ability to go deep, again and again—there’s no way to win a Pulitzer Prize or conceive a grand theory without pushing your brain to its limit.”
Newport continues by pointing out that, “there’s no one correct deep work ritual—the right fit depends on both the person and the type of project pursued.” And he offers the following three points to consider as you build the ritual that best works for you:
1. Where you’ll work and for how long. “Your ritual needs to specify a location for your deep work efforts.” This particular location can be as common as your office with the door shut or—even better and more effective—a specific place where you only go when you want to achieve depth, for example, a quiet library, or a conference room if you are running away from noisy colleagues on an open floor office. “Regardless of where you work, be sure to also give yourself a specific time frame to keep the session a discrete challenge and not an open-ended slog.”
2. How you’ll work once you start to work. “Your ritual needs rules and processes to keep your efforts structured.” For instance, you can set up a goal of the number of words produced per interval of time, and/or you can turn off distractions completely such as disconnecting from the Internet or putting your phone on do not disturb mode. This is important because, “without this structure, you’ll have to mentally litigate again and again what you should and should not be doing during these sessions and keep trying to assess whether you’re working sufficiently hard. These are unnecessary drains on your willpower reserves.”
3. How you’ll support your work. “Your ritual needs to ensure your brain gets the support it needs to keep operating at a high level of depth. For example, the ritual might specify that you start with a cup of good coffee, or make sure you have access to enough food of the right type to maintain energy, or integrate light exercise such as walking to help keep the mind clear.” Make sure you have all you need at your disposal, much as the chefs do with their mise-en-place way of working and overall philosophy. (If you have 7 minutes, read or listen to this NPR story about what we can learn from the way chefs organize.)
“To maximize your success, you need to support your efforts to go deep. At the same time, this support needs to be systematized so that you don’t waste mental energy figuring out what you need in the moment.” – Cal Newport
These three points to consider as you build your ritual are mere starting points. Newport says that crafting that ritual that will best serve you will take experimentation, so be willing to tweak and iterate until you find what works best for you. It’ll be worth it!
ACTION
TODAY: Carve out a slice of your day to do some deep work and, in the beginning, do some thinking and preparing, according to what you know you will need to succeed in your session. Make a list so that you can replicate it next time you need to go deep.
FUTURE: Tweak, tweak, and tweak again until you figure out a ritual that feels right for you. Keep on doing your ritual every time you intend to do deep work. In the words of Newport: “To work deeply is a big deal and should not be an activity undertaken lightly. Surrounding such efforts with a [ritual] accepts this reality—providing your mind with the structure and commitment it needs to slip into the state of focus where you can begin to create things that matter.”
Please share this post with someone who’s looking at doing deep work! Email, Facebook, Twitter.
Are you crystal clear on what you want? Often times, we are not. Sometimes we definitely know what we don’t want, but we have a hard time articulating what we do want.
How should we go about this?
Enter life designersBill Burnett and Dave Evans, who have put together one of the most successful courses at Stanford University that teaches “how to use design to figure out what you want to do when you grow up.” Since they had lots of requests from people not enrolled at Stanford to take their course, they decided to write a book—Designing Your Life—to be able to bring this knowledge to everyone.
The book helps reframe some of our most common dysfunctional beliefs about life, and it’s full of exercises to give us the tools to design our life at whatever stage we may be. One of those exercises is called the AEIOU method. It helps us make detailed and accurate observations on when and where we are engaged and energized, and it helps us reflect upon that.
The method is quite simple, but it has profound results. In a particular situation, write down the answers to these questions:
A = Activities. “What were you actually doing? Was this a structured or an unstructured activity? Did you have a specific role to play [e.g.] (team leader) or were you just a participant [e.g.] (at the meeting)?”
E = Environments. “Our environment has a profound effect on our emotional state. You feel one way at a football stadium, another in a cathedral. Notice where you were when you were involved in the activity. What kind of a place was it, and how did it make you feel?”
I = Interactions. “What were you interacting with—people or machines? Was it a new kind of interaction or one you are familiar with? Was it formal or informal?”
O = Objects. “Were you interacting with any objects or devices—iPads or smartphones, hockey sticks or sailboats? What were the objects that created or supported your feeling engaged?”
U = Users. “Who else was there, and what role did they play in making it either a positive or a negative experience?”
The authors recommend using AEIOU to “zoom in effectively and discover specifically what it is that is or isn’t working for you.” Here’s an example from the book to further clarify how this method works:
Lydia is a contract writer. She works to help experts document their procedures in manuals. And she’d come to conclude that she hated working with people—mostly because of how awful she felt after going to meetings, and how great she felt when she got to write all day. She was wondering how she could make a living without ever going to a meeting again… When she zoomed in, she observed that she actually liked people fine—when she got to meet with only one or two of them and either work hard on the writing or do rapid brainstorming on new project ideas (activity). She hated meetings about planning, schedules, and business strategy and any meeting with more than six people in it; she just couldn’t track all the different points of view (environment). She realized that she was just an intense and focused worker, and that her intensity could be either nurtured or frustrated by other people (users), depending on the form of collaboration (interactions).
As you can see, this exercise brings much clarity. The important thing, the authors say, is to “record whatever comes up and not to judge yourself—there are no right or wrong feelings about your experience.” This info will be very helpful in figuring out what you do want!
ACTION
TODAY: Is there any area of your life (health, work, play, love) where a bit of clarity as to what you want could come in handy? Set aside some time to start this exercise today.
FUTURE: Continue with this exercise for as long as you think it’s necessary to zoom in and get the clarity you need. Remember not to judge yourself, simply observe and you will start seeing some patterns emerge. These patterns will help you figure out what you want. Do this exercise every time you feel you need to discover what is working and what is not.
Know someone who could get some clarity? Please share this post with that person via email, Facebook or Twitter, thank you!
A friend of mine gave me LEAD RIGHT before she retired, and I have enjoyed reading it. It’s a very short read, it has some very practical and sensible advice on leadership, and some of it comes with a clever/fun twist, as is the case with today’s idea.
The author, Steve Ventura, says that if you are “looking to build or strengthen your leadership ‘muscles,’ here are some exercises… TO AVOID.” I’m adding the list of exercises below—verbatim—because I think the author did a great job with this compilation.
Jumping to conclusions. Passing the buck. Grabbing the credit. Throwing your weight around. Stretching the truth. Bending the rules. Breaking your promises. Playing favorites. Stepping on others. Dodging your duty. Running your mouth off. Plugging your ears. Side-stepping programs. Shooting down the organization. Pulling others into your funk. Holding others back. Pressing “my way or the highway.”
Just skating by.
Now you know what NOT to do to stay in top (leadership) shape!
ACTION
TODAY: Reflect as to whether you engage in any of these “exercises.” We all do on occasion. Create the intention of being aware when it happens: catch yourself as the first thought enters your mind and nix it. Substitute the thought with empathy: put yourself in the shoes of the others involved in the situation, and your entire leadership style will change for the better.
FUTURE: Make it a habit of examining your thoughts before you act. Knowing yourself and being aware is what it takes, create that intention in your mind. Avoid doing any of the “exercises” above and, instead, offer your help to those around you and lead from a place of empathy.
Know someone who would enjoy reading this post? Please share it via email, Facebook or Twitter, thanks!
TODAY’S IDEA: The opposite of Resistance is Assistance
