by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Creativity, Habits, Mindset, Planning, Productivity, Tools
Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 34 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Triggers Can Help Stop Procrastination
— From The Perfect Day Formula: How to Own the Day And Control Your Life by Craig Ballantyne
Craig Ballantyne, a successful entrepreneur and writer, recalls a time—back when he was in his twenties—that he was addicted to visiting sports and news websites. “Fortunately,” he says, “I recognized the problem and over time developed a simple, quick and easy solution to snap out of it and get back to work.”
In his book The Perfect Day Formula, Ballantyne writes that many people procrastinate their day away by incessantly checking email, visiting news websites, reading text messages, and then returning to their inbox to start all over again.
“Habits, both good and bad, are hard to change,” says Ballantyne. And he explains that every time we do something out of habit the wiring in our brains strengthens. Thus, it behooves us to make good habits stronger and to get rid of bad habits.
And exactly, how do we break the bad habits?
“The solution is in having a trigger that reminds you to get back on track. Triggers are little tricks that interrupt your bad habits.” And the author shares a few examples to help stop procrastination habits:
“Turning off your phone or disconnecting from the internet stops you from repeatedly checking your email or text messages. Brushing your teeth can get you back on track and help you avoid mindless eating at night. Turning on loud, energetic music can be the trigger you need to finally start the exercise session you’ve been delaying all morning. Pulling out your checkbook and putting on a collared shirt could be the trigger you need to finally sit down and deal with your monthly bills.”
As it pertains to Ballantyne’s internet addiction, when he caught himself in the bad habit, he would open up Microsoft Word in his computer. That was the trigger he needed to snap him out of procrastinating. And he still uses it today when he’s “tempted by trouble” and it does the trick every time to return him to his writing.
Once he’s in Microsoft Word, he says, “Each word typed [is] a victory. Each sentence a battle won… Every victory makes it easier to achieve the next. [He gets] on a roll and then it’s hard to stop working and easy to avoid procrastination.”
And that is the lesson today: “Action begets action. And it starts with a simple trigger.”
As you see, triggers don’t need to be fancy or elaborate, you don’t need to spend money or ask others for help. If you want to snap out of a procrastinating funk, all you need is to identify and implement a trigger to get you into action mode.
What’s your trigger?
ACTION
TODAY: Identify the habit that gets you to procrastinate your day away. Then select a trigger to get you back into action mode. When you catch yourself in the bad habit, simply apply the trigger and get back to work. Slowly, you’ll get rid of your bad habit.
FUTURE: Create the intention of being aware of your habits. When you catch yourself doing what you don’t want to do, implement the trigger start working again.
Know someone who would like the idea of triggers? Please share this post with them via email, Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn, thank you!
by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Goals, Growth, Habits, Leadership, Mindset, Planning, Tools
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 7 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Yes and No Are Choices We Make
— From: Habit Changers: 81 Game-Changing Mantras to Mindfully Realize Your Goals by M. J. Ryan
In yesterday’s post, we learned that our reaction to what happens is our choice. This prompted me to go back to M.J. Ryan’s book, Habit Changers, where she taught a client of hers that yes and no are choices we make.
Ryan’s client was an executive director of a nonprofit. As part of the coaching process, the homework for the client was to apply what she learned in the session to her life. What Ryan noticed was that the client would agree to do it but she’d skip it, and the next time they’d meet, the client had not done it. This went on for several sessions.
Ryan pointed this out to the client, and the client instantly had an epiphany: “That’s why people are so upset with me as a leader! I do that with everyone—I say yes to whatever they ask because I want to please them, and then I don’t follow through because I’ve got too much to do!”
The author says that not being able to say no, “stems from a desire to make others happy and avoid conflict.” The unfortunate part is that “it ends up creating more conflict and disappointment than if you had said no in the first place.” And Ryan proposes this apt mantra: “You can’t say yes if you can’t say no.”
She goes on to say that, “when you say yes to something you can’t follow through on, you’re not actually being helpful—you’re just appeasing those around you and ultimately causing bad feelings.”
By remembering that yes and no are choices we make and repeating that mantra, Ryan’s client “discovered that the more she could say no when she felt it, the more her yes was wholehearted.” The client’s story, fortunately, has a happy ending: “her follow-through improved dramatically and so did her team’s respect for her word.”
No matter how much we want to please or appease, saying yes when we don’t know if we’ll be certain to make it happen is not the best strategy. It puts our word and reputation on the line. Learning to say no is one of the best skills we can learn.
Have you ever found yourself saying yes out of a sense of not wanting to hurt anybody’s feelings or to appease someone? I know I have because I’m a pleaser. While I’m definitely not proud of those moments, they serve me as reminders of how I need to see the person and the favor asked of me as two different things. My relationship with the person who is asking is one thing and that, fortunately, doesn’t change (family, friend, client, etc). The favor that he/she is asking me to do is a completely different thing, and this frees me up to say yes or no based on my workload. Giving an answer to the task someone asks me to do is easier if I separate it this way in my mind.
How have you been able to learn to say no? Let me know in the comments here!
ACTION
TODAY: Remember that yes and no are choices we make, from tiny ones to major decisions. What choices will you make today?
FUTURE: Keep reminding yourself that yes and no are separate from the relationship that you have with the person who asks you to do something. While being on the receiving end of no may not be what the person who asked was expecting, if you explain that you won’t be able to fulfill what is asked of you and you don’t want to disappoint, your answer will be appreciated and respected.
Know someone who would like to read this post? Please share it with them via email, Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn, thank you!
by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Leadership, Mindset, Resolutions, Tools
Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 6 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: The Choices We Make
— From Endeavor: Thrive Through Work Aligned with Your Values, Talents, and Tribe by Scott Perry
Whenever we practice any endeavor, we go at it with much enthusiasm at the beginning and then we become upset or disappointed when we start encountering hurdles. This is completely natural.
Once we overcome the hurdle, we become recommitted to our endeavor, and the cycle continues. The most important thing to keep in mind when we face obstacles is the choices we make. The Greek Stoic philosopher Epictetus said:
“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.”
Scott Perry, the author of the book Endeavor and founder of Creative on Purpose, says: “Challenge and hardship are inevitable. Struggling and suffering are choices. So are resilience and resolve.”
This blew me away. It’s so true. It’s all in the choices we make and the way we see the hurdles.
Perry continues:
“Progress is facilitated when training is put into practice. You need obstacles, challenges, and misfortune that test and push your abilities.
Don’t avoid these moments. Don’t hide from them. Welcome them. Embrace them. Thank them.
People, situations, and circumstances that encourage you to exercise and employ what you’ve learned are why you practice and prepare. You’ll grow, or you’ll learn.
Either is a lesson in resilience and resolve that’s worth your time and effort.”
So, if we make a conscious choice of seeing any obstacle we encounter as a teacher, we will resolve to overcome it and draw a valuable lesson from it to move forward. That doesn’t mean that we will like the obstacle or not have a hard time finding a solution to it. But what it means is that we will make an intentional choice not to suffer and to be on the lookout for the lesson every step of the way, and this will make it easier to handle.
It’s all in the choices we make: set yourself up to win.
“What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for some goal worthy of him.” – Victor Frankl
ACTION
TODAY: What choice will you consciously make today when you encounter an obstacle? Depending on what it is, you have myriad ways to react to it. Choose the gentler, more enlightened way to solve it. Remember the beautiful words by Dr. Wayne Dyer, “when given the choice between being right and being kind, always choose to be kind.”
FUTURE: When life throws you a curveball, resolve it by intentionally choosing your responses and reactions.
Know someone who would like to read this post? Please share it with them via email, Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn, thank you!
by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Goals, Growth, Mindset, Planning, Productivity, Time, Tools
Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 57 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Quitters’ Day
— From Endeavor: Thrive Through Work Aligned with Your Values, Talents, and Tribe by Scott Perry
Strava, the British social network for athletes, studied social media and was able to pinpoint “Quitters’ Day” — the day in which people are most likely to give up on their new year’s resolutions.
And when is Quitter’s Day, you are asking? Tomorrow, the second Friday in January.
In case you are experiencing #resolutionfail and thinking about quitting, I wanted to share with you a passage from the marvelous book Endeavor by my friend Scott Perry.
Most of the time, when we quit, is because things got tough along the way and we saw those obstacles as unsurmountable. Alternatively, we also quit because we decide we simply aren’t willing to do what it takes to continue along the path we had set, and we prefer to pursue something else.
And while quitting projects isn’t bad per se, as it opens up time and opportunities for us to focus on something else, sometimes we feel terribly ashamed.
So, whether you decide to quit or not, move forward swiftly with your decision. And if you change your mind and don’t want to continue, don’t be ashamed. Here’s what Perry so eloquently and beautifully says about this:
“You can’t advance an endeavor without making mistakes. Getting things ‘right’ involves going through a lot of ‘wrong.’
And some of those ‘wrong’ choices come with a heaping helping of regret. And when regret appears, you can be sure that shame is following close behind.
But here’s the thing, when shame comes to visit, you don’t have to extend it an invitation to stay for a week or even overnight. You’re not required to ask shame to lunch or tea.
Don’t draw the shades and lock the door. That only encourages shame to hang around. And shame is very patient and extremely persistent.
Instead, meet shame at the door and thank it.
‘Thank you shame for coming by. Your presence indicates I have work to do. A mistake to own, an apology and amends to make. Sitting with you, for even a minute, will only get in the way of the important work I must do. So thanks again for stopping by, I’m quite sure I’ll be seeing you again.’
Then practice the 4 Rs of an intentional, healing, and meaningful apology: recognize that you’re wrong, take responsibility, express your regret, do what you can to make it right. Then move on to what’s next.
Mistakes are inevitable. Shame is a choice.”
If you give up, don’t give in to shame. You have your reasons to move on to something else and, as long as you learn from this, then you’ll be better off in whatever you decide to do next.
ACTION
TODAY: If you’ve been thinking about quitting your resolutions or goals, take a moment to ask yourself why five times until you get to the real reason. Only then you will be able to determine the best course of action for you, whether that means staying put or quitting. If you decide to continue with your resolution, here’s a post that may help: New Year’s Resolutions vs. SMART Goals.
FUTURE: Whenever you think about quitting your resolutions in the future, analyze the situation, ask why 5 times, and read these posts on quitting: Understanding when to quit and when to stick, Quit before you start, and Selective quitting. Then make a decision that will enable you to get to where you want to go faster. There’s no shame in that!
Know someone who would like to read this post? Please share it with them via email, Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn, thank you!
by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Celebration, Collaboration, Creativity, Growth, Leadership, Mindset, Miniseries
Links to other parts of this miniseries:
Everyday Leadership – Part 1
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 57 seconds
TODAY’S IDEA: Everyday Leadership-Part 2 
— From This Is Day One: A Practical Guide to Leadership That Matters by Drew Dudley
In yesterday’s post, we learned about the influence and impact that someone can have on us–and that we can have on others. It’s not difficult. On one hand, it’s simply a matter of doing our jobs with excellence. On the other, it’s a matter of noticing and acknowledging a job done right.
In his book This is Day One, author Drew Dudley focuses on the actions we can take to become leaders. Not heads of state, or corporations, or larger-than-life leaders (which is how most people perceive the concept of leadership, and that is indeed one way to see it); but instead, simply the very best version of ourselves to influence and impact our communities for the better.
And for this, he tells another remarkable story about one of his students named Aaron:
“Aaron had waited at his old bus stop for the man who had driven him to elementary school when he was a kid. When the bus pulled up, Aaron waited for the children to board and then stepped on the bus himself.
‘What are you doing?’ the elementary school bus driver naturally asked a 22-year-old.
‘Sir, you drove me to school for nine years,’ Aaron told him. ‘Back then, I was incredibly fat and really, really smart… I was bullied so badly [that I’d cry every day before leaving my house] … You’d pull up, and I’d sit up in the front because all the cool kids sat in the back.
And you’d sing Disney songs all the way to school, every day. And you were terrible, and the kids in the back mocked you constantly. You heard them and you never seemed to care. What those kids thought was so important to me and watching you not care about what they said about you–watching you just keep smiling and singing–on so many days, is what convinced me I could get through just one more day of their crap…
I go to Harvard for grad school next year. You’re as big a part of that as any person in my life. I never said thank you. I never told you you’re one of the greatest leaders I know’.”
While this story is absolutely beautiful and very moving, the most important lesson that Dudley derives is this (I left it verbatim since he writes it so eloquently and on point):
“We recognized [those leaders] in our lives once, but we did so because they had impacted us many, many times, and most of those times went unrecognized. Until we looked for those moments of leadership, we didn’t see them. Until we recognized they were moments of leadership, neither did the people who created them.
Most of the leadership on the planet comes from people who don’t see themselves as leaders. Aaron’s bus driver and the cashier I spoke with are examples of the world’s most abundant type of leader: people who impact others by doing more than what is expected. Those in this group often feel the jobs they do and the positions they hold don’t qualify for the title of a leader.
Leaders aren’t identified by their jobs, they’re identified by how they choose to do them. When you do your job and live your life in a way that impacts others positively, you’re a leader–whether your job is commanding an aircraft carrier or getting someone’s child home safely after school. Many people don’t believe that, so we need to tell them. In doing so we live our own leadership. The cycle continues–but we must be consistent at reinforcing it.”
Leadership, as most of us have been taught, is very narrowly defined and only reserved for those at the top. I love Dudley’s definition because it helps us see ourselves and others in a new, very positive light, and recognize that we can all make a change and impact in our corner of the universe.
Who has had an impact or influence on you? How have you recognized it? Has someone recognized your efforts? I’d love to know your thoughts! Please let me know in the comments here.
ACTION
TODAY: Take a moment to rethink your vision of leadership to include everyday leadership. Recognize and acknowledge yourself as a leader and recognize and acknowledge others as well.
FUTURE: Keep reinforcing the cycle of everyday leadership with acknowledgment and gratitude. We will build better families, better communities, and better businesses by doing an excellent job at what we do, and recognizing others for doing so as well!
Know someone who would like to read this great story of everyday leadership or the one from yesterday? Please share this post with them via email, Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn, thank you!
by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Celebration, Collaboration, Creativity, Growth, Leadership, Mindset, Miniseries
Links to other parts of this miniseries:
Everyday Leadership – Part 2
Estimated reading time: 4 minutes, 22 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Everyday Leadership-Part 1
— From This Is Day One: A Practical Guide to Leadership That Matters by Drew Dudley
As I was reading Drew Dudley’s wonderful book This is Day One, I had an a-ha! moment on the meaning of “everyday leadership” that the author explains throughout the book, and also in his TEDx Talk in Toronto called Leading with Lollipops.
John C. Maxwell, renowned leadership guru, says that leadership is influence. Everyday leadership, then, as Dudley describes it, is about us and everyday people–those who surround us–influencing others for the better. And while we will never know the extent of our influence, we should not underestimate how profound and lasting that impact can be.
Dudley recalls a time when he was at a packed grocery store. While he was standing in the shortest line to pay, it was still about 20 people long, and he couldn’t just leave to return at another time. Here’s the story as the author tells it:
“Glancing up for a moment, I caught a glimpse of the young woman operating the cash register. She was quite simply the greatest cashier I had ever seen. Her arms were a blur as she fired items across the scanner at breakneck speed. Everything beeped, everything found its way into a bag in an instant. This woman was a checkout ninja.
It occurred to me how unusual it was to think to myself, ‘That woman is the greatest cashier I’ve ever seen.’ Unfortunately, the more people in our society we believe capable of doing a job, the less likely we are to recognize excellence in that job. There are magazines and websites dedicated to debating the Top 50 athletes/musicians/business titans of all time, but with cashiers, serving staff, bus drivers, janitors, and even (inexplicably in my mind) teachers and nurses, there’s too often the perception that ‘anyone can do those jobs.’ As such, it seems we treat high performance in those jobs as somehow a lower class of excellence.”
As his turn approached, Dudley watched people treat the cashier poorly–when they noticed her. Some of the patrons didn’t even acknowledge her presence. She never stopped doing her excellent work.
When the author reached the front of the line, he asked her what candy she liked from the shelves next to the checkout, and when he paid for them, he gave them to the cashier. He said, “I got those for you. I have to tell you you’re the very best at this job I’ve ever seen. My job is to teach leadership and the way you’re approaching your job is exactly the type of example I use for what real leadership looks like. […] I’ve been watching and I’ve seen no one has really given you the credit you deserve for it, so I thought you deserved some chocolates.”
The cashier was so moved, she started to cry. Then Dudley realized what a profound impact that interaction had on both of them. Regarding the cashier, he says, “Up until that point, had her family asked how her day was when she got home, it’s quite possible she would have snapped at them and passed along that lack of consideration and respect she’d experienced time and time again from those of us in line. Now… even if not a single positive thing happened to her all day, she was going to lead with ‘This guy did the nicest thing for me today!’”
As per the realization of the impact on himself, he says, “I had been letting a lot of similar opportunities for impact pass me by. I had identified a small percentage of my daily interactions as important and, outside of those interactions, tended to let my focus rest on my phone, my to-do list and the things I felt I had to do to excel at my job. That moment was a reminder that every interaction was a chance to model [leadership].”
And Dudley closes with a beautiful thought: “If you want to model your leadership more consistently, be more conscious about looking for and recognizing the leadership of others. Look for leaders like that cashier: those whose behavior goes beyond what is expected and reminds you of what is possible. Leadership recognized is leadership created.”
And I would append to this last phrase two simple words at the end: Leadership recognized is leadership created and repeated.
Who has had an impact or influence on you and whose leadership have you recognized, thus creating an impact on that person? Let me know in the comments here. It’s a beautiful cycle, isn’t it? Come back tomorrow for another wonderful and moving story about everyday leadership.
ACTION
TODAY: Notice all those everyday leaders who surround you. Recognize and acknowledge their impact on you and your surroundings. Let them know. They will be grateful and you will be positively impacted as well for creating an impact on that person. Keep the cycle going.
FUTURE: Dudley makes a point of recognizing everyday leadership on a daily basis. Give it a shot: you’ll start to see that you can impact lives in a very positive way and, as a result, your life will be impacted too.
Know someone who would like to read this great story of everyday leadership? Please share this post with them via email, Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn, thank you!
