by Helena Escalante | Goals, Growth, Mindset, Opportunity, Resources, Tools, Wellbeing
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 59 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: How to get rid of unfounded fears
— From The Success Principles™: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be by Jack Canfield
For our human ancestors millions of years ago, fear was a helpful sign that alerted them to possible danger. A saber-tooth tiger was indeed a life or death situation back then. Nowadays, thankfully, our situations are rarely life-threatening.
While fear is a valid and helpful response when it’s real, “[We’ve] evolved to the stage where almost all our fears are now self-created,” says Jack Canfield in The Success Principles. Thus, as it pertains to unfounded fears, Canfield points out that, “We frighten ourselves by fantasizing negative outcomes to any activity we might pursue. Luckily, because we are the ones doing the fantasizing, we are also the ones that can stop the fear by facing the actual facts, rather than giving into our imaginations. We can choose to be sensible.”
This is welcome news, especially once we learn the acronym for fear that psychologists like to use:
F = Fantasized
E = Experiences
A = Appearing
R = Real
Canfield offers a simple—yet very effective—method to get rid of our unfounded fears. It starts with better understanding how we bring those fears into our lives.
Step 1 is to make a list of the things you are afraid to do. “This is not a list of things you are afraid of, such as being afraid of spiders, but things you’re afraid to do, such as being afraid to pick up a spider.” Canfield gives some examples so that you can see what this looks like in different areas:
I am afraid to:
- Ask my boss for a raise
- Ask Sally for a date
- Go skydiving
- Leave my kids home alone with a sitter
- Leave this job that I hate
- Ask my friends to look at my new business opportunity
- Delegate any part of my job to others
Step 2 is to restate each fear using the following sentence:
I want to ________________, and I scare myself by imagining ________________.
Canfield points out that the key words are I scare myself by imagining. And he offers the following examples, based on the previous list, so that we can see how it is, indeed, that we are the ones that create our fears.
- I want to ask my boss for a raise, and I scare myself by imagining he would say no and be angry with me for asking.
- I want to ask Sally for a date, and I scare myself by imagining that she would say no and I would feel embarrassed.
- I want to leave this job I hate in order to pursue my dream, and I scare myself by imagining I would go bankrupt and lose my house.
- I want to and ask my friends to look at my new network marketing business opportunity, I scare myself by imagining they will think I am only interested in making money off them.
- I want to delegate parts of my work to others, and I scare myself by imagining that they won’t do it as well as I would.
Step 3 is to “actually disappear your fear [by asking] yourself what you’re imagining that is scary to you and then [replacing] that image with its positive opposite.” So, taking an example from the above list:
I want to ask my boss for a raise, and I scare myself by imagining he would say no and be angry with me for asking, would be replaced with the image of you talking to your boss, who is receptive to your idea, and then seeing yourself in that new position creating value for your company. This doesn’t mean that you will indeed get the raise, but you will lose the fear of asking for it. And by asking for it, you then have a chance of getting your raise, vs. not getting it by not even asking for it. Remember the quote from Wayne Gretzky:
“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
As you can see, the minute we realize that we are the ones creating our fears, they become much smaller and even disappear by knowing that we are the ones that generate those scary thoughts. Once we replace those thoughts with a positive opposite, we strengthen our desire to do what once scared us and we can move forward with our goals.
ACTION
TODAY: Make the list of things you’re afraid to do and then restate it with I scare myself by imagining. Visualize the positive opposite and say goodbye to your unfounded fears as you open up the opportunity to move closer to your goals.
FUTURE: Make it a habit of getting rid of your unfounded fears this way. Every time you realize you are afraid of something and it doesn’t make sense, use this method. It works very well!
Know someone who could benefit from getting rid of unfounded fears? Please share this post via email, Facebook or Twitter, thanks!
by Helena Escalante | Celebration, Collaboration, Creativity, Mindset, Time, Tools, Wellbeing
Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 3 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Adopt an afternoon lift
— From: The Best Team Wins: The New Science of High Performance by Adrian Gostick and Chester Elton
Adrian Gostick and Chester Elton, in their book The Best Team Wins, provide a toolkit of 101 ideas to inspire teams. The ideas are short and sweet, some are powerful, some are practical, and some others are plain fun!
I will showcase in here, every so often, those ideas that I like the most. I’ll do this one at a time to keep up with the promise of every post readable in less than 5 minutes. (Here’s a previous post from this book too.)
The idea that I want to highlight today is the one Gostick and Elton call, “Adopt an afternoon lift.” It’s an example of teambuilding they saw at Microsoft. I like it because it doesn’t matter whether you work at a Fortune 500 or as a solopreneur, you can definitely apply it.
“Each day, one person signed up to blast a song across the work area at three o’clock. Everyone was dragging by that point and needed a lift. Some people got up and danced, and everyone clapped when the song was done. Classics Mustang Sally, Born to Be Wild, and Living on a Prayer were a few popular choices.”
The authors mention that a strong sense of camaraderie within the team needs to be present before this can happen. “It was clear to us that solid relationships were in place before this kind of fun could be accepted an authentic.” And I would add that doing this exercise on a daily basis likely continued to foster the strength of those existing bonds throughout the team.
This idea, however, is not exclusive to large corporations. I’ve started to do it on a daily basis when I need an afternoon pickup, and it works out well. Whether you have a team and blast the song out loud, or you just get up and walk briskly (dance?) with your headphones on while the song lasts, it’s a perfect energy and mood lift for the afternoon slump.
ACTION
TODAY: Gostick and Elton suggest “Figure out a daily ritual that [you or] your team can adopt to restore energy levels later in the day.”
FUTURE: Adopt that afternoon pick-me-up ritual for a while to see how it goes. Don’t be afraid to modify it to suit your needs. It’s a much welcome break and it’s a fun way to restore your energy when you most need it.
Know someone who needs an afternoon lift? Please share this post via email, Facebook or Twitter, thanks!
by Helena Escalante | Growth, Habits, Leadership, Mindset
Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 22 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Staying in (leadership) shape
— From LEAD RIGHT by Steve Ventura
A friend of mine gave me LEAD RIGHT before she retired, and I have enjoyed reading it. It’s a very short read, it has some very practical and sensible advice on leadership, and some of it comes with a clever/fun twist, as is the case with today’s idea.
The author, Steve Ventura, says that if you are “looking to build or strengthen your leadership ‘muscles,’ here are some exercises… TO AVOID.” I’m adding the list of exercises below—verbatim—because I think the author did a great job with this compilation.
Jumping to conclusions.
Passing the buck.
Grabbing the credit.
Throwing your weight around.
Stretching the truth.
Bending the rules.
Breaking your promises.
Playing favorites.
Stepping on others.
Dodging your duty.
Running your mouth off.
Plugging your ears.
Side-stepping programs.
Shooting down the organization.
Pulling others into your funk.
Holding others back.
Pressing “my way or the highway.”
Just skating by.
Now you know what NOT to do to stay in top (leadership) shape!
ACTION
TODAY: Reflect as to whether you engage in any of these “exercises.” We all do on occasion. Create the intention of being aware when it happens: catch yourself as the first thought enters your mind and nix it. Substitute the thought with empathy: put yourself in the shoes of the others involved in the situation, and your entire leadership style will change for the better.
FUTURE: Make it a habit of examining your thoughts before you act. Knowing yourself and being aware is what it takes, create that intention in your mind. Avoid doing any of the “exercises” above and, instead, offer your help to those around you and lead from a place of empathy.
Know someone who would enjoy reading this post? Please share it via email, Facebook or Twitter, thanks!
by Helena Escalante | Creativity, Goals, Mindset, Planning, Tools
Estimated reading time: 4 minutes, 0 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: 7 Steps to making a Mind Map
— From Mind Map Handbook: The ultimate thinking tool by Tony Buzan
In psychology, there are two things that the brain needs in order for learning to take place: association and imagination. But this is nothing new according to Tony Buzan, author of over 100 books on learning and education. Centuries ago the Greeks devised helpful memory systems—based on association and imagination as well—that enabled them to recall hundreds, and even thousands, of facts.
And studying the Greeks, Leonardo Da Vinci, and other creatives, is exactly how Buzan came up with the idea of Mind Maps: a graphical representation of information—using imagination and association—to capture ideas and projects in a way that can be easily recalled, understood and explained.
“A Mind Map is the ultimate organizational thinking tool. [It’s] the easiest way to put information into your brain and to take information out of your brain—it’s a creative and effective means of note-taking that literally ‘maps out’ your thoughts.”
All Mind Maps begin at the center (of the page, the screen, etc.) and, from there, branches radiate out. Mind Maps are colorful, and filled with lines, symbols, words and images that help our brains organize information. Buzan says, “With a Mind Map, a long list of boring information can be turned into a colorful, memorable, highly organized diagram that works in line with your brain’s natural way of doing things.” If you’ve never seen a Mind Map, here’s a gallery of them in Buzan’s page, and here are the results of a Google search, so that you can see that you’re only limited by your imagination. Since Wimbledon just finished yesterday, here’s a Mind Map about Tennis.
Tennis Mindmap. By http://mindmapping.bg [CC BY-SA 2.5 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.5)], via Wikimedia Commons
Mind Maps will help you to “be more creative, save time, solve problems, concentrate, organize and clarify your thinking, pass exams with good grades, remember better, study faster and more efficiently, make studying a breeze, see the ‘whole picture,’ plan, communicate,” and much more!
Buzan shares seven steps to making a Mind Map. I’m including them here verbatim and with the exact same format/emphasis for you. Since Buzan is from England, you will also notice the British spelling of some words (how fun!), so I’ve left them intact as that’s how they appear in the book.
1. Start in the CENTRE of a blank page turned sideways. Why? Because starting in the centre gives your Brain freedom to spread out in all directions and to express itself more freely and naturally.
2. Use an IMAGE or PICTURE for your central idea. Why? Because an image is worth a thousand words and helps you use your Imagination. A central image is more interesting, keeps you focused, helps you concentrate, and gives your Brain more of a buzz!
3. Use COLOURS throughout. Why? Because colours are as exciting to your Brain as are images. Colour adds extra vibrancy and life to your Mind Map, adds tremendous energy to your Creative Thinking, and is fun!
4. CONNECT your MAIN BRANCHES to the central image and connect your second- and third-level branches to the first and second levels, etc. Why? Because your Brain works by association. It likes to link two (or three, or four) things together. If you connect the branches, you will understand and remember a lot more easily.
5. Make your branches CURVED rather than straight-lined. Why? Because having nothing but straight lines is boring to your Brain.
6. Use ONE KEY WORD PER LINE. Why? Because single key words give your Mind Map more power and flexibility.
7. Use IMAGES throughout. Why? Because each image, like the central image, is also worth a thousand words. So if you have only 10 images in your Mind Map, it’s already the equal of 10,000 words of notes!
Happy Mind Mapping!
ACTION
TODAY: Think of a project or an idea with which you need to deal. Capture it on paper by doing a mind map. Enjoy the process and the ideas, clarity and new angles that will come to you by doing this exercise.
FUTURE: Keep mind mapping as a handy tool when you need to manage information or turn the complex into simple-to-see and understand. I’ve used mind mapping for many years now and the clarity and organization they bring to my jumbled thoughts always helps me figure out the structure of my projects better.
Know someone who could benefit from mind mapping? Please share this post! Email, Facebook, Twitter.
by Helena Escalante | Collaboration, Goals, Growth, Mindset, Networking, Opportunity, Planning, Resources, Tools
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 9 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: The MENTOR Model
— From One Minute Mentoring: How to Find and Work With a Mentor—and Why You’ll Benefit from Being One by Ken Blanchard and Claire Diaz-Ortiz
I really like the One Minute series of books by Ken Blanchard. In this particular instance, he co-wrote with Claire Diaz-Ortiz—his mentee—a fictional parable about mentorship filled with insights and helpful tips. The story shows both sides of the mentor/mentee equation, and what it takes to become or find one. It’s a short book, a quick read, and the story is very relatable, whether you’ve been a mentor, a mentee, or both. I won’t say more in case you’d like to read it!
What I want to highlight is the MENTOR Model that the authors created, drawing from the most important points and main lessons about mentoring. Since many of you have asked about mentorship, I thought I’d share this as a way to help you find or become a mentor.
The MENTOR Model is an acronym. Let’s look at each of the letters.
M = Mission. It’s important that both mentor and mentee share key values and key intentions. Once this has been done, then both (together preferably) can “create a vision and purpose for the future mentoring partnership.” Remember that mentoring adds value to both sides of the equation.
E = Engagement. Agree and set the parameters for engagement in a way that adapts to both persons’ activities, personalities, and schedules. Will there be face-to-face meetings? How often? Will there be scheduled calls? How about impromptu ones? Is text messaging ok? How about email? “Mentoring partnerships require both the flexibility to engage in digital communication and the power of in-person meetings when possible.” The authors recommend making a commitment to regular meetings, even if they have to be virtual.
N = Networking. “Cultivating productive relationships is a major key to success.” By virtue of the connection with your mentor/mentee, you can expand your network as well. However, tread carefully and very respectfully on the other’s networking contacts and always ask for permission to reach out or, even better, introductions.
T = Trust.. “Building trust takes time—and it can be destroyed in an instant. […] Build and maintain trust with your mentoring partner by telling the truth, staying connected, and being dependable.” As the relationship progresses, trust will deepen, yet always remember that honesty and clear communication are key to this (and any other) relationship.
O = Opportunity. “A mentoring partnership is a two-way street—both partners have opportunities to bring to the table. […] As a mentoring partner, you’ll have access to personal and business opportunities that simply aren’t available to non-mentors and non-mentees.” Being in a mentoring relationship brings wonderful opportunities for both to grow. Purposefully create opportunities for your mentor/mentee to further help out with the mission and purpose that you stated at the beginning.
R = Review and Renewal. “Schedule a regular time to review progress and renew your mentoring partnership.” Doing this, say, once a year (or perhaps more often) will keep both of you on track. Make sure to add them to your calendar when you create your mission statement. And also determine at the time what “success” for each review will look like. That way you will know whether you achieved your goal or you need to figure out other strategies to do so.
ACTION
TODAY: Are you looking for a mentor? Are you looking to mentor someone? Either way, reach out to your network and start looking! You will build a wonderful relationship and open up great opportunities for you and your mentoring partner in many ways.
FUTURE: Having a mentor or being one is a rich, rewarding, and enlightening experience. Remember to pay it forward.
Know someone who is looking for a mentor or who wants to become one? Please share this post! Email, Facebook, Twitter.
by Helena Escalante | Collaboration, Goals, Growth, Habits, Leadership, Mindset, Opportunity, Resources, Time, Tools
Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 35 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Become better today
— From Self-Improvement 101: What Every Leader Needs to Know by John C. Maxwell
Benjamin Franklin, one of the founding fathers of the United States said, “By improving yourself, the world is made better. Be not afraid of growing too slowly. Be afraid only of standing still.”
So, how do we avoid standing still?
In his book Self-Improvement 101, leadership guru John C. Maxwell answers that question: “[We become better tomorrow] by becoming better today. The secret of your success can be found in your daily agenda.”
To keep growing and leading up, Maxwell suggests the following three steps:
1. Learn your craft today. “There is no time like the present to become an expert at your craft. Maybe you wish you had started earlier… or had found a better teacher or mentor years ago… Looking back and lamenting will not help you move forward.” Don’t dwell on the past and ignore any sunk costs. “You may not be where you’re supposed to be. You may not be what you want to be. You don’t have to be what you used to be. And you don’t have to ever arrive. You just need to learn to be the best person you can be right now.”
“The best time to plant a tree was 25 years ago. The second best time is today.” – Chinese proverb
2. Talk your craft today. “Once you reach a degree of proficiency in your craft, then one of the best things you can do for yourself is talk your craft with others on the same and higher levels than you. […] Talking to peers is wonderful, but if you don’t also make an effort to strategically talk your craft with those ahead of you in experience and skill, then you’re really missing learning opportunities.” Maxwell emphasizes the listening aspect of the dialogue, as he points out that it is the bridge that leads you to learn about them.
3. Practice your craft today. “The only way to improve is to practice your craft until you know it inside and out. At first, you do what you know to do. The more you practice your craft, the more you know. But as you do more, you will also discover more about what you ought to do differently… The only way you improve is to get out of your comfort zone and try new things.”
“You can’t change where you started, but you can change the direction you are going. It’s not what you are going to do, but it’s what you are doing now that counts.” – Napoleon Hill
ACTION
TODAY: Learn (more of) or talk or practice your craft—or preferably all!
FUTURE: Keep learning and talking and practicing your craft. Never stop growing. Sometimes it may not be easy and sometimes you’ll make mistakes. The corollary to Benjamin Franklin’s opening quote is “Forget your mistakes, but remember what they taught you.” That way you will have a valuable lesson that will make you wiser and let you move forward.
Help someone become better today by sharing this post that person! You can do so via email, Facebook or Twitter, thank you.
