by Helena Escalante | Goals, Growth, Habits, Leadership, Mindset, Networking, Tools
Estimated reading time: 4 minutes, 22 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Networking for non-networkers
– From Work It: Secrets for Success from the Boldest Women in Business by Carrie Kerpen
Why does networking evoke such dread? Probably because we picture ourselves in a room full of strangers, eating chicken satay from a stick, and talking about the weather to pass time. Yes, that scenario is absolutely dreadful.
But it doesn’t have to be.
Carrie Kerpen in her book Work It says, “There are different ways to network. Ditch the perception that it’s clunky or awkward and do it in a way that works for you.”
Further, Carrie shares some networking tips from “non-networkers” who have been successful at growing their network in a meaningful and beneficial way for all involved. What these non-networkers have in common is that they were all intentional in terms of the groups that they wanted to belong to or the contacts they wanted to target. However, this involves a disciplined approach: “don’t view networking as a nice-to-have,” but as an indispensable part of your professional career.
“Networking shouldn’t be something you do when you have extra time. It’s something that you have to prioritize.”
If you wait to start building a network when you need one, it’s too late, because relationships take time to nurture and grow. Plan now and plant the seeds for tomorrow.
While online and social media networking are wonderful tools, nothing substitutes for in-person networking when you can. The book mentions a research study on firefighters by Cornell University that showed “that firemen who eat meals together are better at their jobs. It turns out, eating together allowed for more conversation, which led to stronger connections, which led to greater team performance.”
A suggestion then, is to take your networking offline with those connections that you can nurture in person. If time is an issue (as it is for all of us), “dedicate two hours—just two hours in your week—to connecting with people offline. Have coffee, have a chat, go back to the watercooler. You’ll be amazed how much more connected your network actually becomes—your relationships will be stronger, as will your communication skills.”
One last thing that Carrie mentions—which is brilliant—is to invite people at a high level to connect with you (on the basis that they are someone whom you admire and respect, needless to say). Nowadays all your professional crushes have public profiles and are accessible somehow. “When reaching out to someone at a very high level, you want to establish a sincere personal connection and accept that it may or may not work out. By expecting nothing in return, you avoid disappointment and often end up being pleasantly surprised.”
On this last one, I can vouch for its effectiveness and for the most pleasant surprises it brings. Years ago I wanted to attend a conference with a steep high price that I couldn’t afford. I reached out to the organizer, asked if I could volunteer in exchange for a ticket, and not only did I get the ticket and enjoyed the conference, but also by virtue of volunteering I became friends with the conference organizer and his wonderful team, and they invited me back for the following year’s conference. Another time, I learned that one of my favorite thought leaders was going to be speaking at an event. I reached out to him, told him that I was going to attend the event and offered to drive him to the airport afterwards. He agreed. We had a wonderful conversation in the car on the way to the airport, and I became friends with someone whom I deeply admire and respect to this date.
If I could do it, you can too! Networking is best done in a way that fits you and in an environment where you can bring value to your new contacts. That way it becomes a win-win and forges real bonds.
ACTION
TODAY: Think of a goal you want to achieve. Make a list of the people and groups that can help you achieve it. Think of ways you can become involved. Think of ways in which you can offer help. Think of ways you can create value for them. Make an honest assessment of the time that you can devote to this endeavor. Once you’ve thought this through, then reach out to them. Remember that you’ll get out of it as much as you put into it, so be intentional with your time and your involvement, and make it worth your and their while.
BONUS ACTION FOR TODAY: Connect with me via email, LinkedIn, Facebook or Twitter! I would really love to connect with you, or simply touch base and catch up if we are already connected. I like to think of myself as a resource and would love to provide book recommendations (of course!), or ideas and resources to help you reach your goals. Really looking forward! 🙂
FUTURE: Repeat today’s action for the rest of your goals. Budget your time according to what’s most important to you, making time for both online and offline networking. Schedule the time for networking activities in your calendar and honor those activities.
P.S. – Another tip for great networking is to share valuable content that you think might be of interest to someone. How about sharing this post with friends and colleagues? You can do so via email, Facebook or Twitter. Thank you!
by Helena Escalante | Creativity, Growth, Habits, Leadership, Mindset, Tools
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 6 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Exchange an AND for a BUT to open up possibilities
— From The Art of Possibility: Transforming Professional and Personal Life, by Rozamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander.
Let’s assume that you are trying to escape the cold winter and you take a vacation to a nice, warm beach. But once you get there, instead of sunshine, you have non-stop rain. Ugh! What to do?
Whether professionally or personally, when things don’t go as planned, we tend to react either with “hopeless resignation” or “spluttering resistance,” or we get upset somewhere in between that spectrum. Roz and Benjamin Zander suggest, instead, developing the practice of “being present to the way things are, including our feelings about the way things are.”
But what exactly does that mean?
“Being present to the way things are is not the same as accepting things as they are” with utmost resignation and hopelessness. Neither does it mean “you should drown out your negative feelings or pretend you like something you really can’t stand.” Much less that “you should work to achieve some ‘higher plane of existence’ so you can ‘transcend negativity’.”
“It simply means being present without resistance: being present to what is happening and present to your reactions, no matter how intense. And to get this done, merely exchanging an and for a but may do the trick.”
Look at these two ways of seeing the same thing differently:
(1) We are at the beach BUT it’s raining. This isn’t what we planned; it’s very disappointing. BUT, this is the way things are.
In this scenario, we’re stuck at the beach and stuck in our minds too, and we can’t help but resist, protest, complain, and huff and puff.
Now compare it to:
(2) We are at the beach AND it’s raining. This isn’t what we planned; it’s very disappointing. AND, this is the way things are.
In this other scenario, we’re at a rainy beach, yet we are not stuck in our minds, nor is there a need to complain. We let the rain be without resisting and thus, “are now free to turn to the question, ‘What do we want to do from here?’ And then all sorts of pathways begin to appear: the possibility of resting; having the best food… reading or conversation; going to the movies or walking in the rain; or catching the next flight [out].” Exchange an AND for a BUT to open up possibilities.
When things go wrong, or simply not as planned, we can throw a fit, curse our bad luck, or decide to find an easier path with less resistance and struggle. When you come to terms with what’s ahead of you and move on, you start walking down a path filled with possibility.
ACTION
TODAY: What didn’t go as planned? What are you struggling with? What is the story you’re telling yourself? Where can you exchange an AND for a BUT to lower resistance and open up possibility? We submitted a proposal AND didn’t win the contract. Or I needed to talk to my colleague AND he didn’t have time. Or I placed the order AND the shipment did not arrive on time. Remember that there’s no such thing as a shortage of ideas when you look for possibilities after you ask What do we want to do from here?
FUTURE: Take this one step further when you are feeling afraid or challenged. Seth Godin in his book Footprints on the Moon gives this example: “I want to write a new article, BUT I’m afraid,” versus “I want to write a new article, AND I’m afraid.” By acknowledging the fear, you take the first step towards dancing with it, and figuring out the many possibilities of what you want to do next.
Know someone who could use more ANDs and less BUTs? Please share this post with that person via email, Facebook or Twitter, thank you!
by Helena Escalante | Creativity, Mindset, Opportunity, Planning, Resources, Tools
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 21 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Work doesn’t speak for itself
— From Show Your Work! by Austin Kleon (here’s a summary of the book)
“Close your eyes an imagine you’re a wealthy collector who’s just entered a gallery in an art museum. On the wall facing you there are two gigantic canvases, each more than 10 feet [3 meters] tall. Both paintings depict a harbor at sunset. From across the room they look identical: the same ships, the same reflections on the water, the same sun at the same stage of setting. You go in for a closer look. […] You can’t detect a single difference. […] You can’t find a label or a museum tag anywhere… The head curator of the museum walks in. You eagerly inquire as to the origin of your new obsessions. The curator tells you that Painting A was painted in the 17th century by a Dutch master. And Painting B… is a forgery. It was copied last week by a graduate student at the local art college.”
Which painting do you want to buy now? You would expect that if it were the exact same thing, both to the trained and the untrained eye, either one of the paintings would bring the same joy. But our mind doesn’t work like that. Our assessment of things, people, services, situations, etc., “is deeply affected by what [we are told] about it.”
We tend to think that our work speaks for itself, but it doesn’t. We are naturally curious and we want to know the story behind it. That’s why we relate (or are repelled!) by the stories brands and people tell.
“The stories you tell about the work you do have a huge effect on how people feel and what they understand about your work, and how people feel and what they understand about your work affects how they value it.”
At the core, we are undeniably human. We need to feel a connection, and personal stories create strong bonds.
Why is this important?
Because our work leaves prints: “realize it or not, you’re already telling a story about your work. Every email you send, every text, every conversation, every blog comment, every tweet, every photo, every video—they’re all bits and pieces of a multimedia narrative you’re constantly constructing. If you want to be more effective when sharing yourself and your work, you need to become a better storyteller. You need to know what a good story is and how to tell one.”
So, what story do you need to tell?
Image from Austin Kleon’s Flickr account: Show Your Work! Album. (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0)
ACTION
TODAY: We have many stories that depict different aspects of our lives. What is one story that you would like to enhance for your work or your life to be perceived as stronger/better/more valuable/fill in your blank? Please note that enhancing doesn’t mean lying or exaggerating; it means highlighting the best and most positive angle for connections to form, sparks to fly and value to rise.
FUTURE: Take some time to enhance your story in a way that it will connect and create a strong bond with your desired audience. That way your work will—purposely and intentionally—“speak by itself,” saying what you want it to say. Ask yourself the following questions (merely as a starting point), and then go from there to begin crafting your story. It will be very helpful if you can share your story with someone whom you trust and who has your best interest in mind. This person will give you helpful feedback to make your story even stronger. (Hit me up if you want to share your story, I’d love to give you feedback!)
- What do you want to communicate?
- What is your expertise?
- What is your superpower?
- What is a challenge you’ve overcome that someone else can relate?
- How have you been in your customer’s/another person’s shoes?
- What experience do you have with a particular situation/issue that you can share?
- What epiphany did you have when you did XYZ that you can share?
- What example can you give of how you use XYZ that you can share?
Know someone whose story could be told from a different, better angle? Please share this post with that person via email, Facebook or Twitter, thank you!
by Helena Escalante | Creativity, Goals, Growth, Habits, Mindset, Opportunity, Planning, Resources, Tools
Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 27 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Little bets, big breakthroughs
— From Little Bets: How Breakthrough Ideas Emerge From Small Discoveries by Peter Sims
Amazon and Google, two of the biggest companies of our time, as well other successful enterprises (regardless of size), all have one thing in common: they embrace an experimental discovery mentality. They don’t know which ideas will be a big hit and which ones won’t, so they allow themselves to experiment and “learn and uncover opportunities as they go.”
Jeff Bezos, Founder of Amazon, often compares his company’s strategy of “developing ideas in new markets to ‘planting seeds’ or ‘going down blind alleys.’ […] Many efforts tend to be dead ends… but every once in a while, you go down an alley and it opens up to into this huge, broad avenue.”
In today’s business environment, long gone are the elaborate business plans in favor of lean and agile ones. The focus is on action, and this means actually “do[ing] things to discover what [companies/people] should do.” Little bets, then, are “concrete actions taken to discover, test and develop ideas that are achievable and affordable. […] The important thing to remember is that while prodigies are exceptionally rare, anyone can use little bets to unlock creative ideas.”
“Most successful entrepreneurs don’t begin with brilliant ideas—they discover them.”
Two advantages of the little bets approach are that:
- It lets us focus on what we can afford to loose, versus projecting or assuming the gains (this is called the affordable loss principle); and
- It makes us aware of the means we have and those we will need as the idea moves along.
The affordable loss principle involves failure. However, it doesn’t focus on failure as a negative and dead end, but as a means to an experiment. It’s the “error” part in trial-and-error. We’re not intentionally trying to fail; yet “in almost any attempt to create, failure, and often a good deal of it, is to be expected.”
With this in mind, trying out little bets as experimentation on new ideas and projects works. Why? Because we “will make important discoveries by being willing to be imperfect, especially at the initial stages of developing [our] ideas.” And as we move forward, iterating from the feedback we obtain, we will be able to build up to breakthroughs.
ACTION
TODAY: Take the time to figure out which one idea or project you have going on where you could put little bets to the test. Then decide which little bet you can start working on and what little means you need to make it happen.
FUTURE: Embrace the experimental discovery mentality in all you do, both professionally and personally. Include little bets so as to turn an initial idea or project into a great one by means of experimenting, iterating, refining and pivoting if necessary. Remember to move forward imperfectly. By doing this, you’ll be able to discover your best, breakthrough ideas and succeed with them.
Know someone who could use the little bets approach? Please share this post with that person via email, Facebook or Twitter!
by Helena Escalante | Collaboration, Growth, Habits, Leadership, Mindset, Planning, Resources, Tools
Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 50 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Launch a search party for the opportunity
— From Do Over: Rescue Monday, Reinvent Your Work, and Never Get Stuck by Jon Acuff
Change is hard. Change is uncomfortable. Change brings an unknown factor into the equation. Most of us don’t like or accept change easily. Jon Acuff, in his book Do Over, rightly says that “upon being confronted with change, our first reaction is to brainstorm reasons it won’t work: I’m too old. I don’t have enough money. It’s too risky. I’m not qualified enough. Someone has already done that exact same thing. There are worse jobs than the one I currently have…” and the litany of excuses goes on and on.
“For minutes or maybe even lifetimes, we do our best to rally the troops around why we shouldn’t do something. And this tends to be the approach we take for ourselves and even other people.” For example, say that you ask a friend to do something that he really doesn’t want to do. Your request is met with resistance, so what’s the next thing you do? Very likely you’ll find yourself asking, “Why don’t you want to do that?”
As common as that question is, Acuff says it’s the wrong one to ask. He cites the book Instant Influence, by Michael V. Pantalon, PhD, where Pantalon says, “when you ask someone a question like this, you unknowingly invite them to brainstorm new reasons they don’t want to do something. That question is an invitation to sit in the no and work yourself up even more than you were before.” By asking a negative question we use our imagination in a negative way.
This applies to any scenario, personal or professional, from asking your boss why you can’t work from home one day a week, to asking a service provider why they can’t give you a discount to… Ha! Remember when you asked your parents why you couldn’t go to that party or why you couldn’t hang out with that particular group of friends? Now we know why and how they came up with all those reasons at lightning speed!
What should we do about this?
Acuff says the solution is to ask the opposite. “Instead of launching a search party for opposition to an idea, you launch a search party for the opportunity.” In the example above where you encounter resistance from your boss to work from home, ask instead: ‘‘what’s one reason you could see me working from home as possibly a benefit to the company?”
You don’t need lots of reasons. Once you have a good one, you’ve succeeded at establishing a positive foothold in your or the other person’s mind, and you can start to build from there.
ACTION
TODAY: Identify one area or one task where you’ve been asking negative questions. Where have you been building up a reservoir of negative reasons as to why you don’t want to do something? Or where have you given someone the opportunity to nurture reasons why not to do something? Flip that around and launch a search party for the opportunity. What question will you ask yourself or someone else that will shed some positive light in favor of doing something?
FUTURE: Keep this tool handy and make a habit of asking a positive question versus a negative one. Your life and that of the people who surround you will be all the better for it, as there will be less friction and less stress when facing any kind of change.
Do you know someone who is finding a myriad reasons why not to do something? Please share this post with that person via email, Facebook or Twitter!
by Helena Escalante | Goals, Growth, Leadership, Mindset, Resources, Tools
Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 22 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Drop the Story
— From: Habit Changers: 81 Game-Changing Mantras to Mindfully Realize Your Goals by M. J. Ryan
The reason why first impressions are so important is because, in those first few seconds, the brain takes in the new information and gives it some meaning. M.J. Ryan, leading expert on change and human fulfillment, says that this meaning is built on information, stories, conclusions, and assumptions based on filters from the past.
“[Our brain] does this automatically, below our conscious awareness. Like everything else our brain does, this has an upside—we couldn’t function well if everything coming in were new to us… But there’s also a downside: our unconscious story can get in the way of our seeing the new information so we can respond in a fresh way.”
And right after the initial story we tell ourselves, comes in confirmation bias: “the tendency to process information by looking for, or interpreting, information that is consistent with one’s existing beliefs.” (Britannica). This happens to everyone and in any situation, not just at the beginning of something.
So what can we do to think clearly and in an unbiased way?
Ryan suggests being aware that we need to “drop the story.” To illustrate this point, she tells a story of a client of hers whose sales “were tanking and he was convinced it was because he didn’t have the right person at the helm. Why? Because years ago he’d swapped the role out and sales had gone up.” Ryan asked him, “What would happen if you drop the story that your problem is caused by the sales leader?” To which he replied, “I’d have to look to other factors, like market forces.” Turns out that he discovered the real problem: “his products were not competitive anymore, and quickly made manufacturing adjustments to cut costs.”
Dropping the story, in any situation (whether personal or professional) brings a fresh approach to thinking. It allows us to depart from our unconscious assumptions, focus on other ways to look at the problems and find solutions.
ACTION
TODAY: Where are you stuck? What one issue has been in your mind that you can’t seem to find a solution for? State what you think your problem is, and then drop the story. Examine other angles and ask why 5 times to get to the root of the problem. Once you have correctly identified what it is, you will be able to move forward to solve it.
FUTURE: Keep this “drop the story” mantra in your toolbox. It will come in handy the next time you are trying to solve an issue. It works well by itself and is also a great complement to asking why 5 times.
Have a friend who is racking his brain about something? Please share this post and tell him to drop the story via email, Facebook or Twitter!
