by Helena Escalante | Collaboration, Goals, Growth, Mindset, Networking, Opportunity, Planning, Resources, Tools
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 9 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: The MENTOR Model
— From One Minute Mentoring: How to Find and Work With a Mentor—and Why You’ll Benefit from Being One by Ken Blanchard and Claire Diaz-Ortiz
I really like the One Minute series of books by Ken Blanchard. In this particular instance, he co-wrote with Claire Diaz-Ortiz—his mentee—a fictional parable about mentorship filled with insights and helpful tips. The story shows both sides of the mentor/mentee equation, and what it takes to become or find one. It’s a short book, a quick read, and the story is very relatable, whether you’ve been a mentor, a mentee, or both. I won’t say more in case you’d like to read it!
What I want to highlight is the MENTOR Model that the authors created, drawing from the most important points and main lessons about mentoring. Since many of you have asked about mentorship, I thought I’d share this as a way to help you find or become a mentor.
The MENTOR Model is an acronym. Let’s look at each of the letters.
M = Mission. It’s important that both mentor and mentee share key values and key intentions. Once this has been done, then both (together preferably) can “create a vision and purpose for the future mentoring partnership.” Remember that mentoring adds value to both sides of the equation.
E = Engagement. Agree and set the parameters for engagement in a way that adapts to both persons’ activities, personalities, and schedules. Will there be face-to-face meetings? How often? Will there be scheduled calls? How about impromptu ones? Is text messaging ok? How about email? “Mentoring partnerships require both the flexibility to engage in digital communication and the power of in-person meetings when possible.” The authors recommend making a commitment to regular meetings, even if they have to be virtual.
N = Networking. “Cultivating productive relationships is a major key to success.” By virtue of the connection with your mentor/mentee, you can expand your network as well. However, tread carefully and very respectfully on the other’s networking contacts and always ask for permission to reach out or, even better, introductions.
T = Trust.. “Building trust takes time—and it can be destroyed in an instant. […] Build and maintain trust with your mentoring partner by telling the truth, staying connected, and being dependable.” As the relationship progresses, trust will deepen, yet always remember that honesty and clear communication are key to this (and any other) relationship.
O = Opportunity. “A mentoring partnership is a two-way street—both partners have opportunities to bring to the table. […] As a mentoring partner, you’ll have access to personal and business opportunities that simply aren’t available to non-mentors and non-mentees.” Being in a mentoring relationship brings wonderful opportunities for both to grow. Purposefully create opportunities for your mentor/mentee to further help out with the mission and purpose that you stated at the beginning.
R = Review and Renewal. “Schedule a regular time to review progress and renew your mentoring partnership.” Doing this, say, once a year (or perhaps more often) will keep both of you on track. Make sure to add them to your calendar when you create your mission statement. And also determine at the time what “success” for each review will look like. That way you will know whether you achieved your goal or you need to figure out other strategies to do so.
ACTION
TODAY: Are you looking for a mentor? Are you looking to mentor someone? Either way, reach out to your network and start looking! You will build a wonderful relationship and open up great opportunities for you and your mentoring partner in many ways.
FUTURE: Having a mentor or being one is a rich, rewarding, and enlightening experience. Remember to pay it forward.
Know someone who is looking for a mentor or who wants to become one? Please share this post! Email, Facebook, Twitter.
by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Celebration, Collaboration, Goals, Growth, Leadership, Mindset, Networking, Opportunity, Resources, Time, Tools
Estimated reading time: 4 minutes, 21 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: 46 strategies for businesspeople to deal with tough times
— From The Little BIG Things: 163 Ways to Pursue EXCELLENCE by Tom Peters
Excellence guru Tom Peters started his blog in 2004. Shortly thereafter, he started publishing “success tips” and this book, The Little BIG Things, is a compilation of them. It’s an easy read, and it’s full of great advice. (Any advice from Tom Peters is golden!)
Peters is a famous author (In Search of Excellence and many more books) and a sought-after speaker. For a seminar in Finland in 2009, he developed these 46 “Secrets” and “Strategies” for Dealing with the Severe Downturn of 2007. However, after reading through them, I realized that they easily apply to both good and bad times. And as it relates to rough times, they may be of any kind, not just economic. Personally or professionally, whether you find yourself in the midst of real turmoil or just having a bad hair day (see #13), I’m sure you’ll find some words of wisdom and guidance that can help. Here are the 46 secrets and strategies verbatim:
- You come to work earlier.
- You leave work later.
- You work harder.
- You may well work for less; and, if so, you adapt to the untoward circumstances with a smile—even if it kills you inside.
- You volunteer to do more.
- You dig deep, deeper, deepest—and always bring a good attitude to work.
- You fake it if your good attitude flags.
- You literally practice your “stage face” in the mirror each morning, and in the loo mid-morning.
- You give new meaning to the idea and intensive practice of “visible management.”
- You take better than usual care of yourself and encourage others to do the same—physical well-being significantly impacts mental well-being and response to stress.
- You shrug off sh*t that flows downhill in your direction—buy a shovel or a “preworn” raincoat on eBay.
- You try to forget about the “good old days”—nostalgia is self-destructive. (And boring.)
- You buck yourself up with the thought that “this too shall pass,” but then remind yourself that it might not pass anytime soon; and so you rededicate yourself to making the absolute best of what you have now—character is determined, virtually in full, by one’s reaction to adverse circumstances.
- You work the phones and then work the phones some more—and stay in touch with, and on the mind of, positively everyone.
- You frequently invent breaks from routine, including “weird” ones—”change-ups” prevent wallowing in despair and bring a fresh perspective.
- You eschew all forms of personal excess.
- You simplify.
- You sweat the details as never before.
- You sweat the details as never before.
- You sweat the details as never before.
- You raise to the sky and maintain—at all costs—the Standards of Excellence by which you unfailingly and unflinchingly evaluate your own performance.
- You are maniacal when it comes to responding to even the slightest screw-up.
- You find ways to be around young people and to keep young people around—they are less likely to be members of the “sky is falling” school. (Naïveté can be a blessing.)
- You learn new tricks of your trade.
- You pass old tricks of the trade on to others—mentoring matters now more than ever.
- You invest heavily in your Internet-Web2.0-Twitter-Facebook-“cloud”-computing skills.
- You remind yourself, daily, that this is not just something to be “gotten through”—it is the Final Exam of Competence, of Character, and, even if you’re not a boss, of Leadership. (People often make great leaps in a short period during difficult times.)
- You network like a demon.
- You network like a demon inside the company—get to know more of the folks who “do the real work,” and who can be your most dependable allies when it comes to getting things done seamlessly and fast.
- You network like a demon outside the company—get to know more of the folks “down the line,” who “do the real work” in vendor-customer outfits. (They can become, and will become, your most avid allies and champions.)
- You offer thanks to others by the truckload if good things happen—and take the heat if bad things happen.
- You behave kindly, but you don’t sugarcoat or hide the truth—humans are startlingly resilient, and rumors are the real spirit-killers.
- You treat small successes as if they were World Cup victories—and celebrate and commend people accordingly.
- You shrug off the losses (ignoring what’s going on in your tummy), and get back on the horse and immediately try again.
- You avoid negative people to the extent you can—pollution kills.
- You read the riot act to the gloom-sprayers, once avoiding them becomes impossible. (Gloom is the ultimate “weapon of mass destruction” in tough times.)
- You give new meaning to the word thoughtful.
- You don’t put limits on the budget for flowers—”bright and colorful” works marvels.
- You redouble and re-triple your efforts to “walk in your customer’s shoes.” (Especially if the shoes smell.)
- You mind your manners—and accept others’ lack of manners in the face of their strains.
- You are kind to all humankind.
- You keep your shoes shined.
- You leave the blame game at the office door.
- You call out, in no uncertain terms, those who continue to play the “office politics” game.
- You become a paragon of personal accountability.
- And then you pray.
ACTION
TODAY: Keep this list handy: you can print it directly from Tom Peters blog.
FUTURE: Keep coming back to this list whenever you need quick and helpful advice. It works wonders as a pep talk too.
Know someone who is having a bad day? Please share this post via email, Facebook or Twitter, thank you!
by Helena Escalante | Collaboration, Mindset, Networking, Tools
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 2 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Skills alone won’t make you a success
— From Build Your Dream Network: Forging Powerful Relationships in a Hyper-Connected World by J. Kelly Hoey.
The Internet is a fantastic resource that has made the world smaller, larger, wider, flatter, more connected… or however you prefer to see it. As more people have access to more resources, products and services, we must reexamine how we go about making our ideas and skills known.
Kelly Hoey*, author of Build Your Dream Network, says “these truths might make you either uncomfortable or really excited:
- Everyone is an expert.
- College degrees can be bypassed.
- Anyone can start a company—anywhere.
- Meritocracy is [bogus].”
Because if this, there is more competition at all levels and in all areas, and skills alone do not make us marketable anymore. That is why building and keeping a network is of utmost importance: “it’s the ideas without a network that don’t launch, scale or sell.”
Hoey goes on to say that “the new question is not what you know but Who knows what you know?” It’s important to clarify that this question is not about who your competition is, as in who knows the same information and has your same skills. Not at all. The question is “Who knows that you do what you do better than anyone else? Who has heard your unique point of view? Who knows what product you’re developing or passion project you are pursuing?” Another way to phrase it would be, who knows what your ideas and skills are, and what you are doing with them?
All of this is to say “your skills and expertise need an audience. […] Great ideas, and great opportunities, have networks behind them. Active networks of champions, fans, enthusiasts, early adopters, influencers—people interested in the success of the ideas’ creators.”
“New ideas don’t come to life at arm’s distance; they emerge from an embrace.”
In sum, “when you know people, and those people know what you do, success knows how to find you.”
ACTION
TODAY: Do people know what you do, what your skills are and what you are doing with them? What project of yours needs an audience? And who is that audience? Don’t be afraid to ask for help among your circles. Connect with someone to that effect today. This may be a good opportunity to reconnect with someone who can help or to ask for someone’s personal or professional opinion. People always welcome requests for help and make them happen if they can. Never underestimate the joy that helping someone else brings, I’m sure you’ve felt it, and it’s the same feeling for the people that care for you and are willing to help. Let them!
FUTURE: Make a habit of scheduling time in your calendar for networking. Whether it’s in person, by phone, or by yourself devoting the time to sending emails to say hi or sharing info that can be of interest to your contacts. Let them update you on what they’re up to, and don’t forget to update them about you! It’s important that they know what you are doing, what you’re interests are, what you’re looking for and where you need help, so that your network can work to your benefit. I’m sure you would do the same for them, wouldn’t you? With each visit, call, email or other touch points you are planting seeds of goodwill that will grow and be mutually beneficial.
Know someone who needs to build an audience for his/her skills? Please share this post with them via email, Facebook or Twitter, thank you!
* Here are other related posts from J. Kelly Hoey’s book: Networking is everywhere and It’s the intention that counts. Also, I had the honor of interviewing Kelly last year, here’s the video.
by Helena Escalante | Creativity, Leadership, Mindset, Networking, Planning, Productivity, Time, Tools
Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 25 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Memorable networking in just 3 minutes
— From The Art of People: 11 Simple People Skills That Will Get You Everything You Want by Dave Kerpen
When we meet someone new we tend to use small talk “because it’s far more socially acceptable than asking pointed questions. But the truth is that by asking better, smarter questions, we can understand the people we meet more quickly and determine rapidly whether they’re friend or foe, a potential business partner or a mate, a future employee or casual acquaintance. Life is short. The less time we waste on the weather, the better.”
And so begins an exercise to help our networking that Dave Kerpen shares with us in his book The Art of People. The exercise is geared to getting to know the person you are meeting “better than you know many of your friends, in just three minutes with just three questions.”
Kerpen mentions he was a skeptic at first, yet once he tried it at a conference, he was convinced immediately of the effectiveness of it. Further, two years after having the conversation with a total stranger, he could still recall the details easily. That is memorable networking!
The three questions are:
- “What is the most exciting thing you are working on right now?” (1 min)
- “If you had enough money to retire and then some, what would you be doing?” (1 min)
- “What is your favorite charity organization and why?” (1 min)
As you can see, these questions bring out our passions, our dreams, and our deep emotions when we answer them. They get to the heart of what makes people tick. Thus, they are guaranteed to break the ice and get to know the other person via the stories that he/she tells. And stories are memorable and relatable.
However, there are many other questions that will produce a similar effect. Craft the ones that suit you in order to bring out the best in the people that you meet, for example, “If you weren’t doing what you do today, what would you be doing and why?” “Who’s been the most important influence on you?” “If you could choose to do anything for a day, what would it be and why?”
ACTION
TODAY: Try out these questions on someone that you meet (preferably), or someone with whom you are barely acquainted. Pay attention as to how you know each other and how the relationship changes, for the better, in less than 3 minutes. It’s a powerful exercise.
FUTURE: Keep this exercise in mind for the next time you meet new people. If you think it’s awkward to ask them these questions, blame it on us! Simply say, “ I just read this crazy [blog] that talked about asking better questions when you first meet someone. Mind if we try out a couple of these questions and each answer them?”
Please share this post via email, Facebook or Twitter, if you know someone who could benefit memorable networking!
by Helena Escalante | Goals, Growth, Habits, Leadership, Mindset, Networking, Tools
Estimated reading time: 4 minutes, 22 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Networking for non-networkers
– From Work It: Secrets for Success from the Boldest Women in Business by Carrie Kerpen
Why does networking evoke such dread? Probably because we picture ourselves in a room full of strangers, eating chicken satay from a stick, and talking about the weather to pass time. Yes, that scenario is absolutely dreadful.
But it doesn’t have to be.
Carrie Kerpen in her book Work It says, “There are different ways to network. Ditch the perception that it’s clunky or awkward and do it in a way that works for you.”
Further, Carrie shares some networking tips from “non-networkers” who have been successful at growing their network in a meaningful and beneficial way for all involved. What these non-networkers have in common is that they were all intentional in terms of the groups that they wanted to belong to or the contacts they wanted to target. However, this involves a disciplined approach: “don’t view networking as a nice-to-have,” but as an indispensable part of your professional career.
“Networking shouldn’t be something you do when you have extra time. It’s something that you have to prioritize.”
If you wait to start building a network when you need one, it’s too late, because relationships take time to nurture and grow. Plan now and plant the seeds for tomorrow.
While online and social media networking are wonderful tools, nothing substitutes for in-person networking when you can. The book mentions a research study on firefighters by Cornell University that showed “that firemen who eat meals together are better at their jobs. It turns out, eating together allowed for more conversation, which led to stronger connections, which led to greater team performance.”
A suggestion then, is to take your networking offline with those connections that you can nurture in person. If time is an issue (as it is for all of us), “dedicate two hours—just two hours in your week—to connecting with people offline. Have coffee, have a chat, go back to the watercooler. You’ll be amazed how much more connected your network actually becomes—your relationships will be stronger, as will your communication skills.”
One last thing that Carrie mentions—which is brilliant—is to invite people at a high level to connect with you (on the basis that they are someone whom you admire and respect, needless to say). Nowadays all your professional crushes have public profiles and are accessible somehow. “When reaching out to someone at a very high level, you want to establish a sincere personal connection and accept that it may or may not work out. By expecting nothing in return, you avoid disappointment and often end up being pleasantly surprised.”
On this last one, I can vouch for its effectiveness and for the most pleasant surprises it brings. Years ago I wanted to attend a conference with a steep high price that I couldn’t afford. I reached out to the organizer, asked if I could volunteer in exchange for a ticket, and not only did I get the ticket and enjoyed the conference, but also by virtue of volunteering I became friends with the conference organizer and his wonderful team, and they invited me back for the following year’s conference. Another time, I learned that one of my favorite thought leaders was going to be speaking at an event. I reached out to him, told him that I was going to attend the event and offered to drive him to the airport afterwards. He agreed. We had a wonderful conversation in the car on the way to the airport, and I became friends with someone whom I deeply admire and respect to this date.
If I could do it, you can too! Networking is best done in a way that fits you and in an environment where you can bring value to your new contacts. That way it becomes a win-win and forges real bonds.
ACTION
TODAY: Think of a goal you want to achieve. Make a list of the people and groups that can help you achieve it. Think of ways you can become involved. Think of ways in which you can offer help. Think of ways you can create value for them. Make an honest assessment of the time that you can devote to this endeavor. Once you’ve thought this through, then reach out to them. Remember that you’ll get out of it as much as you put into it, so be intentional with your time and your involvement, and make it worth your and their while.
BONUS ACTION FOR TODAY: Connect with me via email, LinkedIn, Facebook or Twitter! I would really love to connect with you, or simply touch base and catch up if we are already connected. I like to think of myself as a resource and would love to provide book recommendations (of course!), or ideas and resources to help you reach your goals. Really looking forward! 🙂
FUTURE: Repeat today’s action for the rest of your goals. Budget your time according to what’s most important to you, making time for both online and offline networking. Schedule the time for networking activities in your calendar and honor those activities.
P.S. – Another tip for great networking is to share valuable content that you think might be of interest to someone. How about sharing this post with friends and colleagues? You can do so via email, Facebook or Twitter. Thank you!
by Helena Escalante | Mindset, Networking, Planning, Resources, Tools
TODAY’S IDEA:
There is a method to “hack” networking events for best results.
— From: Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People by Vanessa Van Edwards
Happy Friday! It’s social Friday. And whether you are at a social event for business or pleasure this weekend, you may find yourself in a room full of strangers and need to make the most out of it. Instead of dreading it, now you can hack the social scene in your favor.
Vanessa Van Edwards, behavioral investigator, and her team at Science of People studied superconnectors (those people who make the most quality contacts and who have the most robust network on LinkedIn). Science of People studied many networking events by placing cameras on the venues and looking at the patterns of people. They analyzed the foot traffic of those individuals who easily worked the room as a way to see if there were networking hacks that could be learned and applied by anyone. The verdict? Yes, there is indeed a way to work a room successfully!
Take a look at the room. “Whether you are at a networking event, holiday party, wedding, dinner at a friend’s house, or in a conference ballroom, most events have this basic setup… a social map… the start zone, the social zone, and the side zone.”
Image courtesy of Portfolio/Penguin
The start zone is where you check in, enter the room, hang your coat, etc. This is where you land when you arrive to the event and where you get prepped to network. This, as well as the side zone (where the rest rooms are or around the food tables, are the not the best zones to stay in, psychologically speaking, as people in these zones are not necessarily ready to network at that moment. Areas marked with X in the map are traps to avoid.
The social zone is the best part to stand in, optimally, as people exit the bar (areas marked with stars and the triangle between them). That is when they turn around, drink in hand, and are ready to meet and greet. At that point they’re thinking: “Who do I know?” “Who do I talk to?” And you become an instant savior if you stand there and say “Hi! It’s so nice to meet you.” It is right then and there that they will be ready to network and you can start making meaningful connections.
Who would have thought… Makes total sense, doesn’t it? Want to learn more about this? You can read here and here, and watch this five-minute video. Also, since I adapted this post from a longer book review that I wrote for The New York Public Library, you can read that here.
ACTION
TODAY: If you are going to an event today, put this to the test! If not, simply study the zones and make a note in your schedule to revisit this when you have a social event next.
FUTURE: Figure out when your next networking/social event is taking place. Make a note in your calendar to come back to revisit this post. Then when you get to your event, remember the social map, identify the zones and work the room. Once the event is over, analyze how you did compared to other times. What worked? What didn’t? How can you adapt the learning for future events?
Make a note in your calendar to come back to this post after your event and let me know how it went in the comments, please, I’d love to know.
Happy networking! 🙂
