by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Goals, Growth, Habits, Leadership, Mindset, Miniseries, Planning, Tools, Wellbeing
Links to other parts of the miniseries:
5 truths about attitudes
7 Axioms to understand the impact of attitude
8 Choices to change an attitude – Part 1
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 24 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: 8 Choices to change an attitude – Part 2
— From Attitude 101: What Every Leader Needs to Know by John C. Maxwell
In this last part of the attitude miniseries, John C. Maxwell continues to share his choices for changing an attitude that no longer serves us. The key, as Maxwell states in Attitude 101, is to realize that, “Who we are today is the result of choices we made yesterday. Tomorrow we will become what we choose today. To change means to choose to change.”
With that in mind, let’s take a look at the remaining five choices to change an attitude (here are the previous three choices):
Choice 4: Have the desire to change. “No choice will determine the success of your attitude change more than desiring to change. When all else fails, desire alone can keep you heading in the right direction. […] People can change, and that is the greatest motivation of all.”
Choice 5: Live one day at a time. “Any person can fight the battle for just one day. It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities, yesterday and tomorrow, that we tremble. It is not the experiences of today that drive people to distraction; it is the remorse or bitterness for something that happened yesterday and the dread of what tomorrow may bring. Let us therefore live but one day at a time—today!”
Choice 6: Change your thought patterns. “That which holds our attention determines our actions. We are where we are because of the dominating thoughts that occupy our minds. […] Our feelings come from our thoughts, therefore we can change them by changing our thought patterns. Our thought life, not our circumstances, determines our happiness.”
Choice 7: Develop good habits. “An attitude is nothing more than a habit of thought. The process of developing habits—good or bad—is the same. It is easy to form the habit of succeeding as it is to succumb to the habit of failure. Habits aren’t instincts; they’re acquired actions or reactions. They don’t just happen, they’re caused. Once the original cause of a habit is determined, it is within your power to accept or reject it.”
Choice 8: Continually choose to have a right attitude. “Once you make the choice to possess a good attitude, the work has only just begun. After that comes a life of continually deciding to grow and maintaining the right outlook. Attitudes have a tendency to revert back to their original patterns if they are not carefully guarded and cultivated.” To avoid reverting, Maxwell notes that there are three stages of change we must be aware of, and when they present themselves, we can deliberately choose the right attitude:
- Early Stage: “The first few days are always the most difficult. Old habits are hard to break. You must continually be on guard mentally to take the right action.”
- Middle Stage: “The moment good habits begin to take root. […] During this stage new habits will form that can be good or bad… the more right choices and habits you develop, the more likely other good habits will be formed.”
- Later Stage: “Complacency is the enemy… don’t let down your guard until the change is complete. And even then, be vigilant and make sure you don’t fall into old negative habits.”
I’ll leave you with one last quote from Maxwell that aptly summarizes everything that we’ve been learning about attitude:
“You are the only one who can determine what you will think and how you will act. And that means you can make your attitude what you want it to be.”
ACTION
TODAY: Yesterday you took time to think about an attitude that you want to change. Go through the remaining five choices above and determine to adopt them. Make a plan for implementing them so that you can create a new attitude that will help guide you on your way to success.
FUTURE: Keep coming back to this list of choices anytime you want to change an attitude that is no longer helpful in your quest for success. Find an accountability buddy and start choosing to implement change.
Please share this whole miniseries with someone who might be interested! Email, Facebook, Twitter.
by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Goals, Growth, Habits, Leadership, Mindset, Miniseries, Planning, Tools, Wellbeing
Links to other parts of the miniseries:
5 truths about attitudes
7 Axioms to understand the impact of attitude
8 Choices to change an attitude – Part 2
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 37 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: 8 Choices to change an attitude – Part 1
— From Attitude 101: What Every Leader Needs to Know by John C. Maxwell
Two days ago we learned the importance of a good attitude in everything we do, and yesterday we learned the impact that attitude has for us and for the people that surround us. So far so good. But what happens when we ourselves have an attitude that we want to change or lead someone who has a bad attitude?
Continuing with this attitude miniseries, John C. Maxwell, in his book Attitude 101, answers this question for us by saying, “Attitude is not permanent. If you’re not happy with yours, know that you can change. If someone you lead has a bad attitude, then you can help them to change—but only if they truly want to change. Anyone can become the kind of positive person for whom life is a joy and every day is filled with potential if they genuinely desire to.”
Cool! So how do we do this?
Maxwell goes on, “We are either the masters or the victims of our attitudes. It is a matter of personal choice. Who we are today is the result of choices we made yesterday. Tomorrow we will become what we choose today. To change means to choose to change.”
With choice being the key, Maxwell offers the following eight choices to have a great attitude:
Choice 1: Evaluate your present attitude. This process will, naturally, take some time. The main idea is to separate yourself from your attitude: “The goal of this exercise is not to see the ‘bad you’ but a ‘bad attitude’ that keeps you from being a more fulfilled person.” This is the same as being aware when you have a cold that you are not a cold. Only when you identify the problem can you then cure it and, for that purpose, Maxwell gives us the following points as guidance:
- Identify problem feelings: “What attitudes make you feel the most negative about yourself?”
- Identify problem behavior: “What attitudes cause you the most problems when dealing with others?”
- Identify problem thinking: “We are the sum of our thoughts… What thoughts consistently control your mind?”
- Secure commitment: “The choice to change is the one decision that must be made, and only you [or the person willing to change] can make it.”
- Plan and carry out your choice: “Act on your decision immediately and repeatedly.”
Choice 2: Realize that faith is stronger than fear. “The only thing that will guarantee the success of a difficult or doubtful undertaking is faith from the beginning that you can do it. […] Change depends on your frame of mind. Believe that you can change. Ask your friends and colleagues to encourage you at every opportunity. And if you are a person of faith, as for God’s help.”
Choice 3: Write a statement of purpose. “In order to have fun and direction in changing your attitude, you must establish a clearly stated goal. This goal should be as specific as possible, written out and signed, with a time frame attached to it. The purpose statement should be placed in a visible spot where you see it several times a day to give you reinforcement.” To attain your goal you must do these three things:
- Write specifically what you desire to accomplish each day. What are the obstacles your must overcome? What resources will you need?
- Verbalize to an encouraging friend what you want to accomplish each day. “Belief is inward conviction and faith is outward action.” Your accountability buddy should both encourage you and keep you on track.
- Take action on your goal each day. “The difference between a wise man and a foolish one is his response to what he already knows: A wise man follows up on what he hears, while a foolish man knows but does not act. To change you must take action.”
Please come back tomorrow to read the rest of the choices, you don’t want to miss Maxwell’s insights!
ACTION
TODAY: Make some time to think about an attitude that you want to change. Remember that choice is key. Are you truly willing to change? Then start putting into practice these three choices.
FUTURE: Come back tomorrow to read the rest of the choices! You’ll learn where feelings come from, how to change them, and the link between habits and attitudes, among other things.
Please share this post with your encouraging friend from Choice 3! Email, Facebook, Twitter.
by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Goals, Growth, Habits, Leadership, Mindset, Miniseries, Planning, Tools, Wellbeing
Links to other parts of the miniseries:
5 truths about attitudes
8 Choices to change an attitude – Part 1
8 Choices to change an attitude – Part 2
Estimated reading time: 4 minutes, 0 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: 7 Axioms to understand the impact of attitude
— From Attitude 101: What Every Leader Needs to Know by John C. Maxwell
Yesterday we learned five truths about attitudes. We also learned that a good attitude does not guarantee success, but a bad one definitely guarantees failure.
At this point, very likely, you are nodding affirmatively because you know a good attitude vs. a bad one when you see it. But, can you describe what attitude is? John Maxwell, author of Attitude 101, says, “Attitude is an inward feeling expressed by behavior. That is why an attitude can be seen without a word being said. Haven’t we all noticed ‘the pout’ of the sulker, or the ‘jutted jaw’ of the determined? Of all the things we wear, our expression is the most important.”
“For some, attitude presents a difficulty in every opportunity; for others it presents an opportunity in every difficulty.”
Maxwell was intrigued by the fact that attitude can make or break individuals, so he put together seven axioms to help us better understand how attitude impacts a person’s life.
1. Our attitude determines our approach to life. “We are individually responsible for our view of life. […] But almost daily we witness jobs that are held but hated and marriages that are tolerated bur unhappy, all because people are waiting for others, or the world, to change instead of realizing that they are responsible for their own behavior.”
2. Our attitude determines our relationship with people. “All of life is impacted by our relationships with people, yet establishing relationships is difficult. You can’t get along with some people, and you can’t make it without them. That’s why it’s essential to build proper relationships with others in our crowded world.” It is very important to lead with empathy: to have an attitude that places others first, that sees people as important, that walks a mile in their shoes, and that reflects their point of view.
3. Often our attitude is the only difference between success and failure. “There is very little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.”
4. Our attitude at the beginning of a task will affect its outcome more than anything else. “Most projects fail or succeed before they begin… The right attitude in the beginning ensures success at the end. You are acquainted with the saying ‘All’s well that ends well.’ An equal truth is ‘All’s well that begins well.’ […] Many times we have been guilty of viewing our future challenges as the sunset of life rather than the sunrise of a bright new opportunity.”
5. Our attitude can turn our problems into blessings. “In Awake, My Heart, J. Sidlow Baxter wrote, ‘What is the difference between an obstacle and an opportunity? Our attitude toward it. Every opportunity has a difficulty and every difficulty has an opportunity.’ ”
6. Our attitude can give us an uncommonly positive perspective. “An uncommonly positive perspective is able to help us accomplish some uncommon goals.” Maxwell cites the story of David and Goliath. Upon seeing the giant warrior Goliath, his opponents thought He’s so big we’ll never kill him. Whereas David, a young shepherd, looked at him and thought, He’s so big I can’t miss. Individuals who approach life from an entirely positive perspective are not always understood, as they won’t settle for what is “normal or accepted” in terms of limitations. “Certainly they have limitations. Their gifts are not so plentiful that they cannot fail. But they are determined to walk to the very edge of their potential and the potential of their goals before accepting defeat.”
7. Your attitude is not automatically good because you are a religious person. Maxwell mentions that sins “are all matters of attitude, inner spirit, and motives. Sadly, many people of faith carry with them inner-spirit problems.” The problems are further accentuated when they confuse a poor attitude with righteousness, and nothing could be further from the truth.
ACTION
TODAY: Take a moment to evaluate your attitudes against these seven axioms. Within the spectrum of each axiom, where do you fall? Jot down some actions that you can take to turn your attitude into a more positive one.
FUTURE: As with any other skill, a positive attitude can be learned. Be mindful of the truths we talked about in yesterday’s post and in today’s axioms, and keep them in mind. Practice makes (not perfect but) permanent. And the more you practice, the more you will enjoy the ride. Maxwell says, “The future not only looks bright when the attitude is right, but also the present is much more enjoyable. The positive person understands that the journey of success is as enjoyable as the destination.”
Please share this post with someone who has a bright and wonderful attitude, they’ll be grateful! Email, Facebook, Twitter.
by Helena Escalante | Goals, Growth, Habits, Leadership, Mindset, Planning, Productivity, Tools
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 30 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: The habit should serve the mission
— From Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard by Chip Heath and Dan Heath
In their book Switch, brothers Chip and Dan Heath talk about change and what it takes to make it happen for the better of people, teams and processes. One of the tools to shape the path of change is forming habits.
“Habits are behavioral autopilot, and that’s why they’re such a critical tool for leaders. Leaders who can instill habits that reinforce their teams’ goals are essentially making progress for free. They’ve changed behavior in a way that doesn’t draw down the [habit doer’s] reserves of self-control.”
The authors focus on the fact that habits will form inevitably, whether intentionally or not. And they point to all of us creating lots of team habits, albeit unwittingly: “If your staff meetings always start out with genial small talk, then you’ve created a habit. You’ve designed your meeting autopilot to yield a few minutes of warm-up small talk.”
The key, and the main question for the leaders, “is not how to form habits but which habits to encourage.” And thus the authors cite the example of General William “Gus” Pagonis, who led the logistics operation for the Gulf War (Desert Storm) under President George H. W. Bush.
“Every morning, General Pagonis held a meeting that started at 8 a.m. and ended at 8:30 a.m. No great innovation there, but Pagonis made two changes to the routine. First, he allowed anyone to attend (and he required that at least one representative from each functional group be present). That way he could ensure a free and open exchange of information across the organization. Second, he required everyone to stand up during the whole meeting.”
Holding the meeting standing up ensured that everyone involved got to the point fast and in a concise manner, and then yielded the floor to the next person. The authors say, “It would have been just as easy for [Pagonis] to enshrine a two-hour, seated blabfest. What’s exciting here is not the existence of the habit, but rather the insight that the habit should serve the mission. … A stand-up meeting won’t guarantee any of that, but it will help and it’s “free”—it’s not any harder to create than the blabfest would have been.”
When looking at creating a habit that supports the change that you’re trying to make, the authors say that there are only two things to think about:
1. The habit needs to advance the mission, as did Pagonis stand-up meetings.
2. The habit needs to be relatively easy to embrace. If it’s too hard, then it creates its own independent change problem.
On this second point, let’s imagine that you’re trying to exercise more and make a habit of “going to the gym.” The Heath brothers point out that you’re only renaming the core problem. It will be more productive and faster to build a simpler habit, such as laying out your workout clothes the evening before or having a workout buddy pick you up on his way to the gym.
In sum, any behavior you select will become habitual if you stick to it. Just remember that the habit should serve the mission as you select which habit to build for optimum purposes.
ACTION
TODAY: Take one habit that you/your team members have built and analyze its effectiveness. How well is it serving your mission? Should you keep it or should you ditch it in favor of another one that better serves you?
FUTURE: When creating a new habit, you may run into opposition (whether your own—as you keep hitting the snooze button—or your team’s reluctance to change). The best way to figure out whether it serves your mission is to try it out for a period of time, say three or six months, or more, depending on your case. Make sure you can measure the results vs. the old way of doing things, so that you can have a baseline for comparison. If it doesn’t work, you’ll know it. Yet if it does work, you may have a full group of enthusiastic supporters (your team) when you see the results.
Please create the habit of sharing these daily ideas with someone who will enjoy reading them! Email, Facebook, Twitter.
by Helena Escalante | Goals, Growth, Mindset, Planning, Time, Tools, Wellbeing
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 45 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: How do you get there?
— From What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful by Marshall Goldsmith
In his wonderful book What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, leadership thinker and executive coach Marshall Goldsmith shares an interesting exercise to find our “there”:
Take a breath… Imagine that you are 95 years old and ready to die. Before taking your last breath, you’re given a great gift: The ability to travel back in time—the ability to talk to the person who is reading this page, the ability to help this person be a better professional and lead a better life.
The 95-year-old you understands what was really important and what wasn’t, what mattered and what didn’t. What advice would this wise “old you” have for the “you” who is reading this page?
Take your time and answer your question on two levels: personal advice and professional advice. Jot down a few words that capture what the old you would be saying to the younger you.
Once you’ve written these words down, the rest is simple: Just do whatever you wrote down. Make it your resolution for the rest of the current year, and the next. You have just defined your “there.”
While “there” will be different for each one of us, and no one but you can define it for you, Goldsmith shares wisdom about the common features that most “theres” have. This is because a friend of Goldsmith interviewed people who were dying and asked them what advice they would have had for their younger selves. Three recurring topics kept coming up:
1. Reflect upon life, find happiness and meaning now. “Not next month or next year. The Great Western Disease lies in the phrase, I will be happy when…” Take time to enjoy the here and now. The promotion, the house, the money, the lucky break, may or may not come, but you can choose to be happy today and find meaning in your life right now. Don’t postpone your happiness, enjoy life as it is now!
2. Friends and family. “You may work for a wonderful company, and you may think that your contribution to that organization is very important. When you are 95 years old and you look at the people around your deathbed, very few of your fellow employees will be there waving good-bye. Your friends and family will be the only people who care. Appreciate them now and share a large part of your life with them.”
3. Follow your dreams. “This doesn’t apply just to big dreams; it’s also true for little dreams. Buy the sportscar you always wanted, go to that exotic locale that’s always held your fascination, learn how to play the piano or speak Italian. […] Few of us will achieve all of our dreams. Some dreams will always elude us. So the key question is not, ‘Did I make all my dreams come true?’ The key question is, ‘Did I try?’ ”
Curiously enough, Goldsmith conducted a research project with more than 200 high-potential leaders from 120 companies worldwide that yielded the same topics. When the leaders were asked, “If you stay in this company, why are you going to stay?” the top three answers were:
1. “I am finding meaning and happiness now. The work is exciting and I love what I am doing.”
2. “I like the people. They are my friends. This feels like a team. It feels like a family. I could make more money working with other people, but I don’t want to leave the people here.”
3. “I can follow my dreams. This organization is giving me a chance to do what I really want to do in life.”
It’s interesting how we all seek the same (happiness, meaning, relationships, dreams, purpose) no matter what our age or stage in life. So now you know, regardless of where you’re going (“there”), be happy now, enjoy time with friends and family, and try to make your dreams come true.
ACTION
TODAY: Go through the exercise above and determine your “there.” Then call a trusted and supportive friend and a family member to share your results. Set a date and time to meet with them—it’s always more fun to catch up in person!
FUTURE: Just as Goldsmith said, make your “there” your resolution for the rest of the current year, and the next. Set up goals and break them down into doable chunks so that you can see and measure progress.
Please share this post with someone who needs to find his/her “there,” they’ll thank you for it! Email, Facebook, Twitter.
by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Celebration, Collaboration, Goals, Growth, Habits, Mindset, Planning, Tools, Wellbeing
Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 59 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: The five pillars of ikigai
— From Awakening Your Ikigai: How the Japanese Wake Up to Joy and Purpose Every Day by Ken Mogi
Not too long ago we learned about the term kodawari. This is the Japanese word that refers to the combination of meticulous attention to detail in what we do plus the pride and joy that we feel towards what we do.
Kodawari is an integral part of ikigai (pronunciation), “a Japanese word for describing the pleasures and meanings of life. The word literally consists of iki (to live) and gai (reason).” Thus, it is loosely translated as your reason to live or the reason why you wake up every day.
Author and neuroscientist Ken Mogi, in his book Awakening Your Ikigai, says that ikigai “is used in various contexts, and can apply to small everyday things as well as to big goals and achievements. […] Most importantly, ikigai is possible without your necessarily being successful in your professional life… It is true that having ikigai can result in success, but success is not a requisite condition for having ikigai. It is open to every one of us.”
To this effect, Mogi introduces the five pillars of ikigai that he believes encompass this concept and help us make the best of every moment.
Pillar 1: Starting small → Focusing on the details.
Pillar 2: Releasing yourself → Accepting who you are.
Pillar 3: Harmony and sustainability → Relying on others.
Pillar 4: The joy of little things → Appreciating sensory pleasure.
Pillar 5: Being in the here and now → Finding your flow.
Mogi points out that the pillars reinforce each other and enable ikigai to flourish, yet they are not “mutually exclusive or exhaustive, nor do they have a particular order or hierarchy.”
Ikigai is closely related to our sense of happiness. And while Mogi says that there is no absolute formula for happiness, he mentions that accepting yourself is “a low-budget, maintenance-free formula for being happy. […] Accepting yourself is one of the easiest, simplest and most rewarding things you could do for yourself.”
However, Mogi recognizes that no man is an island and draws an analogy: “A man is like a forest, individual yet connected and dependent on others for growth.” And besides learning and getting support from others, one of the fastest ways to grow is by deriving lessons from failure. “After all, in the long process of life, you sometimes stumble and fall. Even at those times, you can have ikigai, even when you are on a losing streak.”
“Ikigai, in a nutshell, is literally from the cradle to the grave, no matter what happens in your life.”
Ikigai is about being mindful and present, enjoying the little things that make up the moment we are living in, and finding our flow as we get lost in the appreciation of the details. And when something goes wrong, “so long as you have ikigai, you can muddle through difficult periods of your life. You can always go back to your safe haven, from where you can start your life’s adventures all over again.”
ACTION
TODAY: Take a look at the five pillars of ikigai. How many do you apply to your life? How many would you benefit from applying? Create the intention of being mindful and aware of all 5 pillars and applying them at least once today.
FUTURE: Celebrate who you area and your ikigai! Also, make it a habit of practicing mindfulness and being aware of the five pillars of ikigai, so that you can apply them in as many instances of your life as possible.
Please share the concept of ikigai with someone today, you can do so via email, Facebook or Twitter, thank you!
