by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Creativity, Goals, Growth, Habits, Mindset, Miniseries, Planning, Resolutions, Tools, Wellbeing, Willpower
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 59 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Only 19% of People Keep Their New Year’s Resolutions. How Do They Do It?
–From Careful: A User’s Guide to Our Injury-Prone Minds by Steve Casner
In the past post we learned the things that do not work to keep our New Year’s resolutions alive: thinking that it’s just a matter or commitment or willpower, deluding ourselves with wishful thinking, and flooding our minds with negative thoughts.
In this post we will learn the things that work well to be among the 19% of folks who were successful in keeping their resolutions going after 2 years.
But don’t expect something grandiose accompanied with great fanfare. According to Steve Casner, author of Careful, “It’s the little stuff that matters.”
And I agree with him on this. If you look at our lives, they are made of moments, small moments and small actions that—when compounded—create the milestones and the successes that we envisioned as our goals.
So, what are these small things, you ask?
Social support. “[This] was named as a strong contributing factor by the successful 19%, especially after 6 months had gone by.” Social support usually takes the form of enrolling ourselves or other people with psychological contracts.
A psychological contract “is a promise to do this or not do that, with the exception that it isn’t written down.” These are very common. We may know them better as pinky swears or pinky promises. You promise to someone else that you will do something, and/or they promise you that they will do something, for instance, your best friend going with you to the gym every morning at 6 am.
You don’t have a written contract with your friend or with yourself, but the idea of your friend waiting for you at the gym in the morning makes you jump out of bed and get ready to go, instead of hitting the snooze button. These types of psychological contracts are nothing new. The key is that they are made not to be broken, and when there is a social bond they are much harder—if not almost impossible—to break.
“Apparently, when we promise someone that we are going to do something, it seems we are rather inclined to do it,” says Casner. So, go ahead and find a friend, and pinky swear over your goals.
The author also mentions an ingenious way to remind us to do/not do things: the nagging power of children. “Described as an awesome renewable resource… [we should] enlist our kids to become nagging machines programmed to keep their parents [resolutions].” So, if you have kids, enlist them to help you out, it will be very effective, albeit it may drive you a bit crazy…
Reminders. “The 19% who made it to the 2-year mark consistently reported that they used reminders, and they reported using them at every stage of their success. During the first week, after a month, after six months, after two years, they used reminders. Reminders can be little things left anywhere in your environment that prompt you [about your resolution]. You can even use reminders to help you remember pinky swears that you’ve made.”
Reminders can be anything: wearing one of those flat rubber bracelets with an inscription to remind you of your goals, tying a string, changing a ring or watch to the opposite hand, post it notes, an alarm on your phone… really, anything that helps you avoid deviating from your resolutions works!
Rewards. These were mentioned by the New Year’s resolvers as a very helpful tool as well, especially after the first few weeks and also after the two years had passed. Rewards can also be anything you want them to be, big or small, free or expensive… it all depends on you and the milestones you have to go through to reach your goals.
And finally, nothing like practice, practice, practice. Do what you need to do to accomplish your resolutions. Do it over, and over, and over again, until it becomes so ingrained that you don’t even think about it.
As you can see these things are rather simple, yet they are not easy, otherwise a much higher percentage of the New Year’s resolvers would fulfill their goals. Just remember what Casner said earlier: “It’s the little stuff that matters,” and keep focusing on taking one step at a time.
ACTION
TODAY: If you’ve given up on your resolutions, think about them again—it’s not too late. Find a friend to help you, or pinky swear over something. Set reminders and a schedule of rewards for every milestone you’ll go through. Then get started and practice, practice, practice.
FUTURE: These little things that help people stick to a goal are not exclusive to New Year’s resolutions—they work for any goal. Use them when you set goals to help you accomplish them.
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by Helena Escalante | Goals, Mindset, Resolutions, Tools, Willpower
Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 34 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Debunking Myths about New Year’s Resolutions
–From Careful: A User’s Guide to Our Injury-Prone Minds by Steve Casner
January is almost over… How are your New Year’s resolutions or goals coming along?
In his book Careful, author Steve Casner mentions John Norcross, a prominent psychologist at the University of Scranton, who conducted a study on New Year’s Resolutions. Norcross found the following: “Almost 30% of these commitments get dropped in the first week of the year. By the end of January 45% had fallen off the wagon. After 6 months, 60% had thrown in the towel, and after 2 years only 19% remained strong.”
And you’re probably wondering (I know I am!), What do we need to do to be among the 19% that remains successful after 2 years?
Casner will walk us through Norcross findings to understand what works. But before that happens, it’s important to explain what doesn’t work in order to debunk some myths and misconceptions.
Success is simply a matter of commitment. Not true. “Norcross points out that while readiness and commitment to change are an important first step, they alone are not enough to achieve long-term success for the kinds of things that typically appear in our New Year’s resolutions.”
Success is all about willpower. Not true.“[People] know about the highly disciplined types who can just utter a phrase like ‘From now on I will be more fit,” and then have six-pack abs until the day they die. And they get discouraged if they don’t feel they have that kind of willpower.”
In the study, participants who were among the 19% who kept their resolutions past the two-year mark, reported using a bit of willpower, but just at the beginning. “Once people made it past the first few months, they didn’t report willpower being a significant factor in their success.”
Wishful thinking. In here, Casner refers to deluding one’s self with wishful thinking that gets in the way of action. This, Norcross found out, “was an indicator that someone would soon be falling off the wagon.”
The opposite as well was true. Norcross found out that “negative thoughts, such as self-blame, were also hallmarks of those doomed to be among the 81%.”
So, what worked for the 19% who were successful? Stay tuned for the next post as we will see in detail what are the things that matter to the success of staying put through our resolutions and goals and making them happen.
What has worked for you so far and what hasn’t? Let me know in the comments here, please. I’d love to know!
ACTION
TODAY: Think about your New Year’s resolutions for this year. Where are you at with them? What has worked and what hasn’t? If you are in the 45% who have dropped their resolutions about now (end of January) don’t despair, you can still pick them up and make them happen.
FUTURE: As you are about to drop a resolution, think whether you are engaging in the myths or misconceptions mentioned above. It may be that you are… Commit to giving yourself a fair chance to make your resolutions happen by picking them up again. Don’t give up on you!
Know someone who would like to pick up his/her New Year’s resolutions? Please share this post with them via email, Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn, thank you!
by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Goals, Growth, Habits, Mindset, Planning, Productivity, Resolutions, Time, Tools
Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 55 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Today is National Ditch Your Resolutions Day
— From The Perfect Day Formula: How to Own the Day And Control Your Life by Craig Ballantyne
Whaaaaaaaaaaaat???????!!!!!!
Not happy with Quitters’ Day someone decided to have a National Ditch Your Resolutions Day… Really?????!!!!!
Yep. And that day is today, January 17, “popularly thought to be the day when a large number of people abandon their New Year’s resolutions.” (Source.)
According to the stats cited in this Inc. Magazine article, 91% of people fail to keep their resolutions. However, that is not appalling, given that resolutions—in my opinion—are just like wishes: very nice to have but not necessary.
If you want to be successful, the resolutions and wishes have to be substituted by goals and habits.
And a great author and role model for this is Craig Ballantyne. In his book The Perfect Day Formula, he sets out a 7-step plan to create Habits of Steel:
1. Figure out what matters… and focus on it. “Success requires us to do the first things first. Choose your time wisely. Figure out what really matters to you and then use the rest of the steps to build habits that allow you to focus your time on it.”
2. Identify steps to success and rules for your life. “No one will ever be perfect at keeping to their rules, but you will be better for trying, and you will have stronger habits that allow you to avoid the disappointment, guilt, and regret of wasted days.”
3. Create a checklist for new habits. “Connecting a positive action… with a daily trigger… is a great way to create new habits. Each habit needs to be broken down into action items for you to get started.”
4. Prepare the night before. “Winning habits begin with proper planning. Prepare your checklist. Lay out an easy-to-follow pathway for success. Set out any tools you will need to do for the first things first.”
5. Remove all obstacles. “ Removing obstacles, temptations, and bad habits is one of the most important changes you can make in life. Eliminating the negatives is often more important for success than relying on willpower for the creation of new habits.”
6. Take massive action. “We can control what time we wake up, what habits we start the day with, what temptations enter—and are eliminated—from our lives, and what systems we have in place for dealing with all of these. We can believe in ourselves or we can have doubt. It’s our choice.”
7. Learn and improve. “Few days will be easy. Most days will require you to fight tooth-and-nail to stick to your habits and achieve your goals. On those days, take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes and struggles. They will make you stronger.”
Oh, and one last thing: Ballantyne says that a little incentive never hurts. “Give yourself a prize for taking action and following through. We repeat what we reward. It can be as simple as enjoying the beauty of a sunrise as you meditate.”
So, are you ready to celebrate National Ditch Your Resolutions Day by ditching your resolutions and turning them into habits? Imagine what your life will be like a year from now if you turned your resolutions or wishes into ingrained habits.
I’m cheering for you!
ACTION
TODAY: What resolutions would you like to turn into habits? Be very specific and then apply Ballantyne’s seven-step plan. For more on how to succeed at this, here’s a post I wrote last year: New Year’s Resolutions vs. SMART Goals.
FUTURE: Next year, don’t set resolutions. Instead, set goals that you can turn into habits.
Know someone who would like to ditch their resolutions for goals and habits instead? Please share this post with them via email, Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn, thank you!
by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Leadership, Mindset, Resolutions, Tools
Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 6 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: The Choices We Make
— From Endeavor: Thrive Through Work Aligned with Your Values, Talents, and Tribe by Scott Perry
Whenever we practice any endeavor, we go at it with much enthusiasm at the beginning and then we become upset or disappointed when we start encountering hurdles. This is completely natural.
Once we overcome the hurdle, we become recommitted to our endeavor, and the cycle continues. The most important thing to keep in mind when we face obstacles is the choices we make. The Greek Stoic philosopher Epictetus said:
“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.”
Scott Perry, the author of the book Endeavor and founder of Creative on Purpose, says: “Challenge and hardship are inevitable. Struggling and suffering are choices. So are resilience and resolve.”
This blew me away. It’s so true. It’s all in the choices we make and the way we see the hurdles.
Perry continues:
“Progress is facilitated when training is put into practice. You need obstacles, challenges, and misfortune that test and push your abilities.
Don’t avoid these moments. Don’t hide from them. Welcome them. Embrace them. Thank them.
People, situations, and circumstances that encourage you to exercise and employ what you’ve learned are why you practice and prepare. You’ll grow, or you’ll learn.
Either is a lesson in resilience and resolve that’s worth your time and effort.”
So, if we make a conscious choice of seeing any obstacle we encounter as a teacher, we will resolve to overcome it and draw a valuable lesson from it to move forward. That doesn’t mean that we will like the obstacle or not have a hard time finding a solution to it. But what it means is that we will make an intentional choice not to suffer and to be on the lookout for the lesson every step of the way, and this will make it easier to handle.
It’s all in the choices we make: set yourself up to win.
“What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for some goal worthy of him.” – Victor Frankl
ACTION
TODAY: What choice will you consciously make today when you encounter an obstacle? Depending on what it is, you have myriad ways to react to it. Choose the gentler, more enlightened way to solve it. Remember the beautiful words by Dr. Wayne Dyer, “when given the choice between being right and being kind, always choose to be kind.”
FUTURE: When life throws you a curveball, resolve it by intentionally choosing your responses and reactions.
Know someone who would like to read this post? Please share it with them via email, Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn, thank you!
by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Goals, Growth, Habits, Mindset, Planning, Productivity, Resolutions, Tools
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 7 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Motion vs. Action: The Difference Means Your Success
— From Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones by James Clear
How are your New Year’s resolutions coming along? As we’re getting started this year with their implementation, “it is easy to get bogged down trying to find the optimal plan for change: the fastest way to lose weight, the best program to build muscle, the perfect idea for a side hustle. We are so focused on figuring out the best approach that we never get around to taking action.”
“The best is the enemy of the good.” – Voltaire
Habit guru and author James Clear, in his book Atomic Habits, refers to this as motion vs. action, that is, the difference between being in motion and taking action:
“The two ideas sound similar, but they’re not the same. When you’re in motion you’re planning and strategizing and learning. Those are all good things, but they don’t produce a result.
Action, on the other hand, is the type of behavior that will deliver an outcome. If I outline 20 ideas for articles I want to write, that’s motion. If I actually sit down and write an article, that’s action. If I search for a better diet plan and read a few books on the topic, that’s motion. If I actually eat a healthy meal, that’s action.
Sometimes motion is useful, but it will never produce an outcome by itself. It doesn’t matter how many times you talk to the personal trainer, that motion will never get you in shape. Only the action of working out will get the result you’re looking to achieve.”
At this point, you’re probably thinking that motion is a necessary precursor of action, as we actually need to learn and plan before doing something. I completely agree with you on that. Where the author cautions us not to get stuck is in the planning phase. “More often than not, we do it because motion allows us to feel like we’re making progress without running the risk of failure. […] It’s easy to be in motion and convince yourself that you’re still making progress. […] When preparation becomes a form of procrastination, you need to change something. You don’t want to merely be planning. You want to be practicing.”
And that is the key to creating a new habit that will lead you to your goals: practice, practice, practice. The more you repeat this new behavior, the faster you’ll be on your way to master your new habit.
What new habit are you trying to master? Was motion vs. action an eye-opener for you? It was for me! Let me know your thoughts in the comments here.
ACTION
TODAY: What new habit are you trying to master? What action do you need to take to make it happen? Set a schedule for your actions and/or pick a date to go from motion into action. Take action today, even if it’s the smallest one you can take so that you make it impossible to fail.
FUTURE: Whenever you are looking at mastering a new habit, remember that you will indeed be in motion initially, as it refers to learning and planning, but don’t let this paralyze you (analysis paralysis). Action is what will lead you to success: schedule it and set timelines to shift into action. Read more about this.
Know someone who is trying to master a new habit this new year and could benefit from learning about motion vs. action? Please share this post with them via email, Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn, thank you!
by Helena Escalante | Growth, Leadership, Mindset, Miniseries, Resolutions, Tools
TODAY’S IDEA: 12 Books of Greatness – Day 9
The 12 days of Christmas refers to the period of celebration (secular and religious) from December 25 through January 5. And because it coincides with the period of time that I’m going to be out on vacation visiting my family, I thought I’d make a miniseries for you during this time with posts from 12 Books of Greatness.
I strongly believe that greatness starts within us, so all of the posts that I chose for these 12 days come from books that are tremendously insightful. My hope is that reading these posts will give you plenty of ideas and “a-ha!” moments to end 2018 strong and start 2019 on a high note!
12 Books of Greatness – Day 9
From REWORK: Change the way you work forever
By Jason Fried and David Heinemeier Hansson
Links to other posts in this miniseries: Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, Day 4, Day 5, Day 6, Day 7, Day 8.
Know someone who would like this book or this miniseries on 12 Books of Greatness? Please share it with them via email, Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn, thank you!
