by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Growth, Habits, Leadership, Mindset, Tools, Wellbeing
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 3 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: How to give yourself good feedback
— From What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful by Marshall Goldsmith
Marshall Goldsmith, author and success coach to top CEOs, talks about the importance of receiving feedback. While feedback usually comes from others, in What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, Goldsmith shares a simple technique by which we can give good and reliable feedback to ourselves to create lasting change.
Sounds too good to be true? Wait until you see how easy—yet how profound—this technique is. It’s all about completing a sentence. Here’s how it works:
Pick one thing that you want to get better at. It could be anything that matters to you—from getting in shape to giving more recognition to lowering your golf handicap. Then list the positive benefits that will accrue to you and the world if you achieve your goal. For example, “I want to get in better shape. If I get in shape, one benefit to me is that…” And then you complete the sentence.
It’s a simple exercise. “If I get in shape, I will… live longer.” That’s one benefit. Then keep doing it. “If I get in shape, I’ll feel better about myself.” That’s two. “If I get in shape, I’ll be a better role model for my family and friends.” And so on until you exhaust the benefits.
At this moment, you are probably wondering what makes this so special. Goldsmith points out that the interesting part of this exercise is that, “as you get deeper into it, the answers become less corporately correct and more personal.”
You start off by saying, “If I become better organized, the company will make more money… my team will become more productive… other people will enjoy their jobs more… and so on.” By the end, however, you’re saying, “If I become more organized, I’ll be a better parent… a better spouse… a better person.”
And so it is that by digging or peeling layers (quite similar to the 5 Whys), we get to the core issue, that is, what is really important to us. Only then, can we find the real reason—the one that motivates and inspires us—to change for the better.
Goldsmith recalls a story of a general in the U. S. Marine Corps who wanted to “become less judgmental.” At first, his resistance was obvious as he completed the first instance cynically by saying, “ If I become less judgmental, I won’t have so much trouble dealing with the clowns at headquarters.” The second answer was quite sarcastic too. By the third one, he had diminished the intensity of the sarcasm. Goldsmith says that by the sixth sentence he was tearing up: “If I become less judgmental, maybe my children will talk to me again.”
When you go deep is when you know that this exercise is working. In the words of Goldsmith: “As the benefits you list become less expected and more personal and meaningful to you, that’s when you know that you’ve given yourself some valuable feedback—that you’ve hit on an interpersonal skill that you really want and need to improve. That’s when you confirm that you’ve picked the right thing to fix.”
ACTION
TODAY: Set up some time aside in your calendar to do this sentence-completion exercise. It will give you important feedback as to what you need to change.
FUTURE: Keep this exercise handy so that you can do it when you need to give yourself good feedback. That way you will be able to change a habit or a behavior that is no longer serving you.
Please share this post to let someone in your circles know how they can give themselves good feedback for lasting change! Email, Facebook, Twitter.
by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Celebration, Collaboration, Goals, Growth, Habits, Mindset, Planning, Tools, Wellbeing
Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 59 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: The five pillars of ikigai
— From Awakening Your Ikigai: How the Japanese Wake Up to Joy and Purpose Every Day by Ken Mogi
Not too long ago we learned about the term kodawari. This is the Japanese word that refers to the combination of meticulous attention to detail in what we do plus the pride and joy that we feel towards what we do.
Kodawari is an integral part of ikigai (pronunciation), “a Japanese word for describing the pleasures and meanings of life. The word literally consists of iki (to live) and gai (reason).” Thus, it is loosely translated as your reason to live or the reason why you wake up every day.
Author and neuroscientist Ken Mogi, in his book Awakening Your Ikigai, says that ikigai “is used in various contexts, and can apply to small everyday things as well as to big goals and achievements. […] Most importantly, ikigai is possible without your necessarily being successful in your professional life… It is true that having ikigai can result in success, but success is not a requisite condition for having ikigai. It is open to every one of us.”
To this effect, Mogi introduces the five pillars of ikigai that he believes encompass this concept and help us make the best of every moment.
Pillar 1: Starting small → Focusing on the details.
Pillar 2: Releasing yourself → Accepting who you are.
Pillar 3: Harmony and sustainability → Relying on others.
Pillar 4: The joy of little things → Appreciating sensory pleasure.
Pillar 5: Being in the here and now → Finding your flow.
Mogi points out that the pillars reinforce each other and enable ikigai to flourish, yet they are not “mutually exclusive or exhaustive, nor do they have a particular order or hierarchy.”
Ikigai is closely related to our sense of happiness. And while Mogi says that there is no absolute formula for happiness, he mentions that accepting yourself is “a low-budget, maintenance-free formula for being happy. […] Accepting yourself is one of the easiest, simplest and most rewarding things you could do for yourself.”
However, Mogi recognizes that no man is an island and draws an analogy: “A man is like a forest, individual yet connected and dependent on others for growth.” And besides learning and getting support from others, one of the fastest ways to grow is by deriving lessons from failure. “After all, in the long process of life, you sometimes stumble and fall. Even at those times, you can have ikigai, even when you are on a losing streak.”
“Ikigai, in a nutshell, is literally from the cradle to the grave, no matter what happens in your life.”
Ikigai is about being mindful and present, enjoying the little things that make up the moment we are living in, and finding our flow as we get lost in the appreciation of the details. And when something goes wrong, “so long as you have ikigai, you can muddle through difficult periods of your life. You can always go back to your safe haven, from where you can start your life’s adventures all over again.”
ACTION
TODAY: Take a look at the five pillars of ikigai. How many do you apply to your life? How many would you benefit from applying? Create the intention of being mindful and aware of all 5 pillars and applying them at least once today.
FUTURE: Celebrate who you area and your ikigai! Also, make it a habit of practicing mindfulness and being aware of the five pillars of ikigai, so that you can apply them in as many instances of your life as possible.
Please share the concept of ikigai with someone today, you can do so via email, Facebook or Twitter, thank you!
by Helena Escalante | Goals, Growth, Mindset, Opportunity, Resources, Tools, Wellbeing
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 59 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: How to get rid of unfounded fears
— From The Success Principles™: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be by Jack Canfield
For our human ancestors millions of years ago, fear was a helpful sign that alerted them to possible danger. A saber-tooth tiger was indeed a life or death situation back then. Nowadays, thankfully, our situations are rarely life-threatening.
While fear is a valid and helpful response when it’s real, “[We’ve] evolved to the stage where almost all our fears are now self-created,” says Jack Canfield in The Success Principles. Thus, as it pertains to unfounded fears, Canfield points out that, “We frighten ourselves by fantasizing negative outcomes to any activity we might pursue. Luckily, because we are the ones doing the fantasizing, we are also the ones that can stop the fear by facing the actual facts, rather than giving into our imaginations. We can choose to be sensible.”
This is welcome news, especially once we learn the acronym for fear that psychologists like to use:
F = Fantasized
E = Experiences
A = Appearing
R = Real
Canfield offers a simple—yet very effective—method to get rid of our unfounded fears. It starts with better understanding how we bring those fears into our lives.
Step 1 is to make a list of the things you are afraid to do. “This is not a list of things you are afraid of, such as being afraid of spiders, but things you’re afraid to do, such as being afraid to pick up a spider.” Canfield gives some examples so that you can see what this looks like in different areas:
I am afraid to:
- Ask my boss for a raise
- Ask Sally for a date
- Go skydiving
- Leave my kids home alone with a sitter
- Leave this job that I hate
- Ask my friends to look at my new business opportunity
- Delegate any part of my job to others
Step 2 is to restate each fear using the following sentence:
I want to ________________, and I scare myself by imagining ________________.
Canfield points out that the key words are I scare myself by imagining. And he offers the following examples, based on the previous list, so that we can see how it is, indeed, that we are the ones that create our fears.
- I want to ask my boss for a raise, and I scare myself by imagining he would say no and be angry with me for asking.
- I want to ask Sally for a date, and I scare myself by imagining that she would say no and I would feel embarrassed.
- I want to leave this job I hate in order to pursue my dream, and I scare myself by imagining I would go bankrupt and lose my house.
- I want to and ask my friends to look at my new network marketing business opportunity, I scare myself by imagining they will think I am only interested in making money off them.
- I want to delegate parts of my work to others, and I scare myself by imagining that they won’t do it as well as I would.
Step 3 is to “actually disappear your fear [by asking] yourself what you’re imagining that is scary to you and then [replacing] that image with its positive opposite.” So, taking an example from the above list:
I want to ask my boss for a raise, and I scare myself by imagining he would say no and be angry with me for asking, would be replaced with the image of you talking to your boss, who is receptive to your idea, and then seeing yourself in that new position creating value for your company. This doesn’t mean that you will indeed get the raise, but you will lose the fear of asking for it. And by asking for it, you then have a chance of getting your raise, vs. not getting it by not even asking for it. Remember the quote from Wayne Gretzky:
“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
As you can see, the minute we realize that we are the ones creating our fears, they become much smaller and even disappear by knowing that we are the ones that generate those scary thoughts. Once we replace those thoughts with a positive opposite, we strengthen our desire to do what once scared us and we can move forward with our goals.
ACTION
TODAY: Make the list of things you’re afraid to do and then restate it with I scare myself by imagining. Visualize the positive opposite and say goodbye to your unfounded fears as you open up the opportunity to move closer to your goals.
FUTURE: Make it a habit of getting rid of your unfounded fears this way. Every time you realize you are afraid of something and it doesn’t make sense, use this method. It works very well!
Know someone who could benefit from getting rid of unfounded fears? Please share this post via email, Facebook or Twitter, thanks!
by Helena Escalante | Celebration, Collaboration, Creativity, Mindset, Time, Tools, Wellbeing
Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 3 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Adopt an afternoon lift
— From: The Best Team Wins: The New Science of High Performance by Adrian Gostick and Chester Elton
Adrian Gostick and Chester Elton, in their book The Best Team Wins, provide a toolkit of 101 ideas to inspire teams. The ideas are short and sweet, some are powerful, some are practical, and some others are plain fun!
I will showcase in here, every so often, those ideas that I like the most. I’ll do this one at a time to keep up with the promise of every post readable in less than 5 minutes. (Here’s a previous post from this book too.)
The idea that I want to highlight today is the one Gostick and Elton call, “Adopt an afternoon lift.” It’s an example of teambuilding they saw at Microsoft. I like it because it doesn’t matter whether you work at a Fortune 500 or as a solopreneur, you can definitely apply it.
“Each day, one person signed up to blast a song across the work area at three o’clock. Everyone was dragging by that point and needed a lift. Some people got up and danced, and everyone clapped when the song was done. Classics Mustang Sally, Born to Be Wild, and Living on a Prayer were a few popular choices.”
The authors mention that a strong sense of camaraderie within the team needs to be present before this can happen. “It was clear to us that solid relationships were in place before this kind of fun could be accepted an authentic.” And I would add that doing this exercise on a daily basis likely continued to foster the strength of those existing bonds throughout the team.
This idea, however, is not exclusive to large corporations. I’ve started to do it on a daily basis when I need an afternoon pickup, and it works out well. Whether you have a team and blast the song out loud, or you just get up and walk briskly (dance?) with your headphones on while the song lasts, it’s a perfect energy and mood lift for the afternoon slump.
ACTION
TODAY: Gostick and Elton suggest “Figure out a daily ritual that [you or] your team can adopt to restore energy levels later in the day.”
FUTURE: Adopt that afternoon pick-me-up ritual for a while to see how it goes. Don’t be afraid to modify it to suit your needs. It’s a much welcome break and it’s a fun way to restore your energy when you most need it.
Know someone who needs an afternoon lift? Please share this post via email, Facebook or Twitter, thanks!
by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Goals, Growth, Habits, Leadership, Mindset, Planning, Time, Tools, Wellbeing
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 4 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: 100% Commitment: The “no-exceptions rule”
— From The Success Principles™: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be by Jack Canfield
“There’s a difference between interest and commitment. When you’re interested in doing something, you do it only when it’s convenient. When you’re committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results.” – Ken Blanchard
Being 100% committed to something is much easier than being 99% committed or less, says personal development and business guru Jack Canfield, author of The Success Principles. This is a very simple concept, “yet you’d be surprised how many people wake up every day and fight within themselves over whether or not to keep their commitments, stick to their disciplines, or carry out their actions plans.”
Why the fight?
Because they haven’t yet made the full commitment. There is no need to spend the mental energy wrestling with ourselves every day as we decide whether to do something or not. “Once you make a 100% commitment to something, there are no exceptions. It’s a done deal. Nonnegotiable. Case closed! Over and out… [You] never have to think about it again. There are no exceptions no matter what the circumstances. It ends the discussion, closes that door, permits no other possibility.”
This is tremendously liberating and it makes life much simpler and easier because there is no internal debate as to whether you’ll do something or not. “It’s like brushing your teeth before you go to bed. You always do it, no matter what. If you find yourself in bed and you have forgotten, you get out of bed and brush them. It doesn’t matter how tired you are or how late it is. You just do it.”
Eliminating choice and making 100% commitment can free up much time and energy that can go into other things to bring about excellence in your life and business. Canfield powerfully makes the case for why 100% commitment is so important and necessary, as he points out why the “no-exceptions rule” is critical in many areas, such as in our health and the workplace:
A commitment to just 99.9% quality would mean:
- One hour of unsafe drinking water every month.
- Two unsafe landings at [Chicago’s] O’Hare International Airport each day.
- 16,000 lost pieces of mail per hour.
- 20,000 incorrectly filled drug prescriptions every year.
- 500 incorrect surgical operations performed each week.
- 50 newborn babies dropped at birth by doctors every day.
- 22,000 checks deducted from the wrong account every hour.
- Your heart failing to beat 32,000 times each year!
“Can you see why 100% is such an important percentage? Just think how much better your life and the whole world would work if you were committed to 100% excellence in everything you do.”
ACTION
TODAY: Think of an area in your life or business where you have not made a 100% commitment. What does that look like? Where does it fall through the cracks? Where do you wrestle with yourself to do it or not do it? Think of the benefits of committing 100% and having no exceptions: how could this benefit your life and/or your business? Make a list of benefits vs. remaining as you are. Once you are convinced, commit yourself. And as part of that commitment, set a time to review in a near future how you are doing. The further you move along the 100% and the more you review its benefits, the more you’ll want to continue. It’s all about building the habit.
FUTURE: Stay committed to your 100%. Once you have built the habit in one area and it’s firmly entrenched, then move on to another area. The disciplined pursuit of your commitments will lead you to your goals.
Know someone who could benefit from 100% commitment? Please share this post via email, Facebook or Twitter, thanks!
by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Collaboration, Goals, Growth, Habits, Leadership, Mindset, Opportunity, Planning, Resources, Tools, Wellbeing
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 27 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Progress
— From The Magic of Thinking Big by David J. Schwartz, Ph.D. (Read an excerpt here.)
One of the most wonderful compliments we can all receive is that of equating us with progress: “He/she stands for progress. He/she is the right person for the job.” I still haven’t met anybody who does not like to be seen as a forward-looking, progress-seeking leader.
Looking forward, thinking progress, believing in progress and pushing for progress are leadership qualities that we can all develop. David J. Schwartz in The Magic of Thinking Big says, “Leaders, real leaders, are in short supply. Status-quo-ers (the everything’s-all-right-let’s-don’t-upset-the-apple-cart folks) far outnumber the progressives (the there’s-lots-of-room-for-improvement-let’s-get-to-work-and-do-it-better people). Join the leadership elite. Develop a forward look.”
But how?
There are two things you can do to develop your progressive outlook:
1. Think improvement in everything you do.
2. Think high standards in everything you do.
Students, employees and people in general pattern their thoughts and actions after those of their leaders. That is why a new teacher, a new boss, a new president, or any kind of new leader can make such an enormous difference, for good or bad. Schwartz says, “Remember this: when you take over the leadership of a group, the persons in that group immediately begin to adjust themselves to the standards you set. […] Once they know, they act accordingly.”
Schwartz goes on to say something very profound and powerful: “Over a period of time, [people] tend to become carbon copies of their chief. The simplest way to get high-level performance is to make sure the master copy is worth duplicating.” (!)
So, how can we make make sure that, as master copies, we are worth duplicating??
Fortunately, Schwartz includes a checklist to make sure that we are thinking progressively in four areas: work, family, ourselves, and our community. Keep it handy!
Do I think progressively toward my work?
- Do I appraise my work with the “how can we do it better?” attitude?
- Do I praise my company, the people in it, and the products it sells at every possible opportunity?
- Are my personal standards with reference to the quantity and quality of my output higher now than three or six months ago?
- Am I setting an excellent example for my subordinates, associates and others I work with?
Do I think progressively toward my family?
- Is my family happier today than it was three or six months ago?
- Am I following a plan to improve my family’s standard of living?
- Does my family have an ample variety of stimulating activities outside the home?
- Do I set an example of “a progressive,” a supporter of progress, for my children?
Do I think progressively toward myself?
- Can I honestly say that I am a more valuable person today than three or six months ago?
- Am I following an organized self-improvement program to increase my value to others?
- Do I have forward-looking goals for at least five years in the future?
- Am I a booster in every organization or group to which I belong?
Do I think progressively toward my community?
- Have I done anything in the past six months that I honestly feel has improved my community (neighborhood, churches, schools, etc.)?
- Do I boost worthwhile community projects rather than object, criticize or complain?
- Have I ever taken the lead in bringing about some worthwhile improvement in my community?
- Do I speak well of my neighbors and fellow citizens?
Lastly, I’ll leave you with a quote from Benjamin Franklin that I love:
“Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning.”
ACTION
TODAY: Take one of the areas described above (work, family, yourself or your community) and answer the questions on the checklist. Determine where you are and what you need to do to make progress in that area.
FUTURE: Take some time to answer all the questions in the checklist and determine where you stand in each area. If you are reading this it’s clear that you are indeed a forward-looking, progressive person. Decide in which area you’d like to make (more) progress first and move into that direction. Then tackle another area and so on. In following along the lines of yesterday’s post, take these questions as decision criteria to measure progress as a state of being.
Think progressively toward your circles and please share this post with them via email, Facebook or Twitter, thank you!
