Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 55 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Check the ego
— From Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin
We all have an ego, and that’s a good thing. It pushes us to do bigger and better things, it fuels our desire to win, and drives us to succeed. But if we let it take the lead, it becomes a destructive force that “clouds our judgment and prevents us from seeing the world as it is,” say Leif Babin and Jocko Willink, authors of Extreme Ownership.
Further, if left unchecked, “ego clouds and disrupts everything: the planning process, the ability to take good advice, and the ability to accept constructive criticism… Often, the most difficult ego to deal with is your own.”
As philosopher and writer Michel de Montaigne said “I have never seen a greater monster or miracle than myself.” So, if ego has these two sides, how do we make sure that it doesn’t hijack us to take over but stays on the miracle side instead?
The authors say that it the ego must be in check at all times and we must operate with a high degree of humility. “Admitting mistakes, taking ownership and developing a plan to overcome challenges are integral to any successful team… strive to be confident, but not cocky.”
Babin relays a story of one of his clients: this was a manager faced with a superintendent subordinate who had more knowledge and experience than him. The subordinate had taken action—without running it first by the manager—that would cost the company lots of money.
Needless to say the manager was very upset. His ego had taken a hit because the subordinate had not cleared the action with him. With Babin’s help, the manager was able to check his ego and realize that the action may not have been deliberately done to hurt him or to see how much the subordinate could get away with. The manager said, “I’m sure he [the subordinate] thought he was doing the best for the immediate situation as it presented itself.” Over the ensuing conversation, Babin and the manager came to the conclusion that the subordinate acted in good faith, yet was unaware of the big picture. Thus, the subordinate’s action, taken without running it first by the manager, had cost the company hundreds of thousands of dollars.
It was the responsibility of the manager to explain the overall plan and mission to all subordinates, so that they could see the impact of their actions.
Had Babin and the manager not spoken, the manager would have likely confronted the subordinate and it would have resulted in a clash of egos. Instead, Babin recommended to the manager to take Extreme Ownership and not point fingers, but take full responsibility. Here’s what Babin said to the manager:
“This isn’t his fault, it’s yours. You are in charge, so the fact that he didn’t follow procedure is your fault. And you have to believe that, because it’s true. When you talk to him [the subordinate] you need to start the conversation like this: ‘Our team made a mistake and it’s my fault. It’s my fault because I obviously wasn’t as clear as I should have been in explaining why we have these procedures in place and how not following them can cost the company hundreds of thousands of dollars. You are an extremely skilled and knowledgeable superintendent. You know more about this business than I ever will. It was up to me to make sure you know the parameters we have to work within and why some decisions have got to be run through me. Now, I need to fix this so it doesn’t happen again.’ ”
Our egos don’t like to take blame, so it’s natural for anyone in a leadership position to find where the blame lies when something goes wrong in the work of a team. However, it’s incumbent upon us to check our egos and to make sure everyone knows how their actions fit in the big picture. The bottom line: “It’s about the mission and how best to accomplish it.”
Happy leading with ego in check!
ACTION
TODAY: Are you the leader of a team or part of a team? Do you and everyone on your team know how each individual’s work fits into the big picture? If not, explain to all or ask your leader. This will save you and your team much heartache!
FUTURE: As you embark on new projects, always seek to communicate to your team what the overall mission is and how each member fits within it. Take full responsibility and extreme ownership of everything that happens. Operate with humility and check your ego constantly, that way you’ll ensure it will drive you to succeed.
Know someone who needs to check their ego? Please share this post with that person via email, Facebook or Twitter, thank you!