Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 52 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Four-letter words
— From REWORK: Change the way you work forever by Jason Fried and David Heinemeier Hansson
“There are four-letter words you should never use in business,” say Jason Fried and David Heinemeier Hansson in their book Rework. No, they are not referring to those four-letter words.* They are talking about need, must, can’t, easy, just, only and fast.
At plain sight there’s nothing wrong with the words, I’m sure we’ve all used them. What we may not have noticed was the impact they had on the person on the receiving end. Yet we can probably remember one time or another when we were on the receiving end of those words ourselves, and how we didn’t like the way they made us feel…
The words by themselves are not inherently wrong. But sometimes, in the course of collaborating with others, “these words get in the way of healthy communication,” say the authors. “They are red flags that introduce animosity, torpedo good discussions, and cause projects to be late… When you use these four-letter words you create a black-and-white situation. But the truth is rarely black and white. So people get upset and problems ensue. Tension and conflict are injected unnecessarily.”
So, what’s wrong with these words?
Need and Must: “Very few things actually need to get done.” Instead of saying that something needs to get done or something must be done/added/changed/etc., the authors suggest saying “‘What do you think about this?’ or ‘How does this sound?’ or ‘Do you think we could get away with that?’” Need and must place an undue amount of pressure because the person on the receiving end naturally perceives or else after those words are used. Engage in a meaningful, inclusive dialogue with the other person, and you’ll both find a solution for whatever you are trying to accomplish.
Can’t: “When you say ‘can’t’ you probably can. Sometimes there are even opposing can’ts: ‘We can’t launch it like that, because it’s not quite right’ versus ‘We can’t spend any more time on this because we have to launch.’ Both of those statements can’t be true. Or wait a minute, can they?”
Easy, Just, Only and Fast: These words become a problem when they’re used to describe other people’s jobs without knowing what it entails: ‘that should be easy for you to do, right?’” Yet rarely the people on the receiving end describe their tasks as easy. And even if the actual task were technically easy, it may not be all that simple or fast to implement, or the person may not have the time to devote to it right when you want it. Easy, just, only, and fast, when applied in this context (oh, but it’s only a minor change, just to this part of the presentation, it’s nothing major, should be super easy and fast for you since you are the expert at this…) disempower and diminish the importance of the work of others; and do not give them room to provide the best solution according to their experience and expertise.
The authors also warn against these words’ cousins, the absolutes: everyone, no one, always and never. “Once uttered, they make it hard to find a solution. They box you into a corner by pitting two absolutes against each other. That’s when head-butting occurs. You squeeze out any middle ground.”
Lastly, we should also watch out for all these words when someone strings them all together because they come with many assumptions that may not have been fully pondered: “We need to add this feature now. We can’t launch without this feature. Everyone wants it. It’s only one little thing so it will be easy. You should be able to get it in there fast!”
ACTION
TODAY: When collaborating with others, think about the words you use and how you are coming across. Is there a better, gentler way to include the other person in the solution? Or, if you are the one on the receiving end, be empathetic, as the other person may not know the impact of these words (how about sharing this blog post with them?). Yet, once you are aware of what is happening, include yourself in the solution by sharing your knowledge.
FUTURE: Make it a habit of being aware of the way you think and the things you say. Sometimes, for the sake of efficiency, we tend to eagerly push through with best intentions, and don’t notice that that there may be damage left in our wake. Avoid using these four-letter words in the contexts described above and involve others in the solution: collaboration and willingness to reach the goal are key.
Know someone who uses these words without knowing the impact they have on others? Please share this post with them via email, Facebook or Twitter, thank you!
* For our international gurupies** whose native language may not be English, or for those of you who are reading this through translation technology: “The phrase four-letter word refers to a set of English-language words written with four letters which are considered profane… The ‘four-letter’ claim refers to the fact that a large number of (but not all) English ‘swear words’ are incidentally four-character monosyllables.” (Source: Wikipedia)
** Gurupie = blend of guru and groupie = how I fondly refer to the EntreGurus’ community, because we all follow the ideas of the gurus.