Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 43 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA:
Give Yourself an A.
— From The Art of Possibility: Transforming Professional and Personal Life, by Rozamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander.
Because we live in an ultracompetitive society, we are constantly comparing our results to others and others’ results to ours. The result? Disappointment that we don’t measure up or that others don’t measure up to our standards, with the consequent anxiety, despair, and a bunch of other symptoms caused by this unnecessary stress. However, Ben and Roz Zander in The Art of Possibility rightly state that all of the labels we assign are merely human inventions, “so we might as well choose to invent something that brightens our life and the lives of the people around us.”
As such, they describe a fascinating tactic, the practice of giving an A*: “It’s a shift in attitude that makes it possible for you to speak freely about your own thoughts and feelings while, at the same time, you support others to be all they dream of being. The practice of giving an A transports your relationship from the world of measurement into the universe of possibility.”
You can give yourself an A, and you can also give it to “anyone in any walk of life—to a waitress, to your employer, to your mother-in-law, to the members of the opposite team, and to the drivers in traffic… This A is not an expectation to live up to, but a possibility to live into.”
Ben Zander, who serves as musical director of the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra and the Boston Philharmonic Youth Orchestra (on the date of publication of this post) says that he gives all students in his class an A at the beginning of the course in exchange for writing him a letter (within the following two weeks and postdated at the end of the course) in which each student should detail “the story of what will have happened to [him/her by the end of the course] that is in line with this extraordinary grade. [The students] are to place themselves in the future, looking back, and to report on all the insights they acquired and milestones they attained during the year as if those accomplishments were already in the past.” In the letter, Zander wants them to highlight, and is especially interested in, “the person [the student] will have become [by the end of the course]… the attitude, feelings, and worldview of that person who will have done all she wished to do or become everything he wanted to be.”
“I tell them I want them to fall passionately in love with the person they are describing in their letter.”
So why not give ourselves an A today and see what happens? And how about giving it to the people that surround us? Let’s give it a try, for all we know, we may make our corner of the world a much better place!
ACTION
TODAY: Write yourself a letter explaining why you’re giving yourself an A, and date it a year from today. Describe who you will have become and why a year from now. Fall passionately in love with the person you are describing in the letter. Go make it happen!
FUTURE: Every time you find yourself unnecessarily stressed or in a pickle about something, give yourself and the people involved in it an A (no letters involved here, you can simply give them an A in your mind). See how your attitude changes. Ask yourself, “What happens if we pretend that this isn’t hard?” It’s game changing!
In my mind and in my heart you are all As, and my wish for you is to always dwell in possibility and marvel at yourself and others. I am so grateful for you being with me on this journey: EntreGurus is celebrating one month, and we have so much more to share, woo-hoo!!
Please let me know in the comments the ideas that EntreGurus has sparked in you! And a favor, please: help me share these ideas with more people via email, Facebook or Twitter. Thank you!
NOTES:
* For our international gurupies**: Grades in school in the United States are measured in a scale of A to F, with A being the highest and best grade a student can get. In other countries this would be the equivalent of 10 or 100. Simply substitute the A in this case for the highest and best grade that students can get in your country and this tactic will immediately resonate with you!
** Gurupie = blend of guru and groupie = how we fondly refer to the EntreGurus’ community, because we all follow the ideas of the gurus.