Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 45 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: How do you get there?
— From What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful by Marshall Goldsmith
In his wonderful book What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, leadership thinker and executive coach Marshall Goldsmith shares an interesting exercise to find our “there”:
Take a breath… Imagine that you are 95 years old and ready to die. Before taking your last breath, you’re given a great gift: The ability to travel back in time—the ability to talk to the person who is reading this page, the ability to help this person be a better professional and lead a better life.
The 95-year-old you understands what was really important and what wasn’t, what mattered and what didn’t. What advice would this wise “old you” have for the “you” who is reading this page?
Take your time and answer your question on two levels: personal advice and professional advice. Jot down a few words that capture what the old you would be saying to the younger you.
Once you’ve written these words down, the rest is simple: Just do whatever you wrote down. Make it your resolution for the rest of the current year, and the next. You have just defined your “there.”
While “there” will be different for each one of us, and no one but you can define it for you, Goldsmith shares wisdom about the common features that most “theres” have. This is because a friend of Goldsmith interviewed people who were dying and asked them what advice they would have had for their younger selves. Three recurring topics kept coming up:
1. Reflect upon life, find happiness and meaning now. “Not next month or next year. The Great Western Disease lies in the phrase, I will be happy when…” Take time to enjoy the here and now. The promotion, the house, the money, the lucky break, may or may not come, but you can choose to be happy today and find meaning in your life right now. Don’t postpone your happiness, enjoy life as it is now!
2. Friends and family. “You may work for a wonderful company, and you may think that your contribution to that organization is very important. When you are 95 years old and you look at the people around your deathbed, very few of your fellow employees will be there waving good-bye. Your friends and family will be the only people who care. Appreciate them now and share a large part of your life with them.”
3. Follow your dreams. “This doesn’t apply just to big dreams; it’s also true for little dreams. Buy the sportscar you always wanted, go to that exotic locale that’s always held your fascination, learn how to play the piano or speak Italian. […] Few of us will achieve all of our dreams. Some dreams will always elude us. So the key question is not, ‘Did I make all my dreams come true?’ The key question is, ‘Did I try?’ ”
Curiously enough, Goldsmith conducted a research project with more than 200 high-potential leaders from 120 companies worldwide that yielded the same topics. When the leaders were asked, “If you stay in this company, why are you going to stay?” the top three answers were:
1. “I am finding meaning and happiness now. The work is exciting and I love what I am doing.”
2. “I like the people. They are my friends. This feels like a team. It feels like a family. I could make more money working with other people, but I don’t want to leave the people here.”
3. “I can follow my dreams. This organization is giving me a chance to do what I really want to do in life.”
It’s interesting how we all seek the same (happiness, meaning, relationships, dreams, purpose) no matter what our age or stage in life. So now you know, regardless of where you’re going (“there”), be happy now, enjoy time with friends and family, and try to make your dreams come true.
ACTION
TODAY: Go through the exercise above and determine your “there.” Then call a trusted and supportive friend and a family member to share your results. Set a date and time to meet with them—it’s always more fun to catch up in person!
FUTURE: Just as Goldsmith said, make your “there” your resolution for the rest of the current year, and the next. Set up goals and break them down into doable chunks so that you can see and measure progress.