Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 28 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Let’s redefine failure
From Black Box Thinking: Why Most People Never Learn from Their Mistakes–But Some Do by Matthew Syed
We’ve all failed at something at some point. It’s not a happy day when that happens. It’s a mad scramble as we watch our project go down in proverbial flames. The memory of it is not a happy one either and, usually, we try to avoid bringing it up again, right? Ugh!
Matthew Syed in his book Black Box Thinking, says there is a better way: “If we wish to fulfill our potential as individuals and organizations, we must redefine failure.”
“We learn from our mistakes, it is as simple and as difficult as that. […] Sometimes committing errors is not only the fastest way to the correct answer, it’s the only way.” This is, obviously, easier said than done. The key is not in the procedures but in changing the attitude towards error that liberates individuals and organizations from the “twin dangers of blame and cognitive dissonance,” which is the default mode when things don’t go well.
James Dyson, the inventor of the famous Dyson vacuum cleaner went through 5,127 prototypes (!) before his technology was ready. As tragic as airline accidents can be, the findings are quickly applied and transformed into new rules for all aviation personnel in the world to avoid the same mistakes. (Read more in this book summary by Samie Al-Achrafi.)
Heather Hanbury, former headmistress of Wimbledon High School in London, created “Failure Week” after she saw her students doing well academically but struggling to reach their potential outside the classroom. The rigidity of the school system punishing mistakes was stagnating the students in other areas of their life. She said to Syed, “You’re not born with fear of failure, it’s not an instinct. It’s something that grows and develops in you as you get older. Very young children have no fear of failure at all, they have great fun trying new things and learning very fast.”
How can we, then, unlearn and redefine this acquired fear of failure? A trite—but illustrative—example that comes to mind is the one coaches sometimes use to exemplify why we should not give up: think of an adorable baby girl who is starting to learn how to walk. Would you give up on her simply because she falls constantly? Would you throw your hands up in the air in frustration and blame it all on gravity? The mere thought of it is ridiculous. However, we sometimes do this (metaphorically-speaking) to ourselves and to our projects.
Here are some questions and a few posts to help you redefine and reframe for yourself:
- How many times have we given up on something that we’ve considered a failure without giving it a fair chance? (Read: Move forward imperfectly.)
- How many times have we found the process frustrating as opposed to making the most out of it? (Read: Why 5 Times.)
- How many times do we bury as deep as we can within ourselves whatever happened, and waste the opportunity to learn from it? (Read: You are not your past.)
And I’ll leave you with one of my favorite quotes from T. Harv Eker:
“Every master was once a disaster.”
ACTION:
TODAY: You are the only one who knows yourself best and who can redefine failure for you. What steps can you take today to reframe a recent “failure,” so that you can make space for the new learnings? Even in the worst of situations there’s always a positive thing if you know where to look. How about focusing on that? It may look like “Where’s Waldo?” at first, but don’t give up. This simple process will help you reframe and redefine!
FUTURE: As much as it’s uncomfortable to accept, there is no way we can avoid making mistakes in the future. So let’s reframe that too: instead of keeping our fingers crossed and holding our breath “so that nothing goes wrong,” how about trusting in our ability and willingness to be able to gather the information and resources to solve the mistakes to the best of our ability if and when they happen? Ah, what a relief that thought brings!
Know someone who could use some help redefining failure? Please share this post with that person via email, Facebook or Twitter, thank you!