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TODAY’S IDEA: Quitters’ Day
— From Endeavor: Thrive Through Work Aligned with Your Values, Talents, and Tribe by Scott Perry
Strava, the British social network for athletes, studied social media and was able to pinpoint “Quitters’ Day” — the day in which people are most likely to give up on their new year’s resolutions.
And when is Quitter’s Day, you are asking? Tomorrow, the second Friday in January.
In case you are experiencing #resolutionfail and thinking about quitting, I wanted to share with you a passage from the marvelous book Endeavor by my friend Scott Perry.
Most of the time, when we quit, is because things got tough along the way and we saw those obstacles as unsurmountable. Alternatively, we also quit because we decide we simply aren’t willing to do what it takes to continue along the path we had set, and we prefer to pursue something else.
And while quitting projects isn’t bad per se, as it opens up time and opportunities for us to focus on something else, sometimes we feel terribly ashamed.
So, whether you decide to quit or not, move forward swiftly with your decision. And if you change your mind and don’t want to continue, don’t be ashamed. Here’s what Perry so eloquently and beautifully says about this:
“You can’t advance an endeavor without making mistakes. Getting things ‘right’ involves going through a lot of ‘wrong.’
And some of those ‘wrong’ choices come with a heaping helping of regret. And when regret appears, you can be sure that shame is following close behind.
But here’s the thing, when shame comes to visit, you don’t have to extend it an invitation to stay for a week or even overnight. You’re not required to ask shame to lunch or tea.
Don’t draw the shades and lock the door. That only encourages shame to hang around. And shame is very patient and extremely persistent.
Instead, meet shame at the door and thank it.
‘Thank you shame for coming by. Your presence indicates I have work to do. A mistake to own, an apology and amends to make. Sitting with you, for even a minute, will only get in the way of the important work I must do. So thanks again for stopping by, I’m quite sure I’ll be seeing you again.’
Then practice the 4 Rs of an intentional, healing, and meaningful apology: recognize that you’re wrong, take responsibility, express your regret, do what you can to make it right. Then move on to what’s next.
Mistakes are inevitable. Shame is a choice.”
If you give up, don’t give in to shame. You have your reasons to move on to something else and, as long as you learn from this, then you’ll be better off in whatever you decide to do next.
ACTION
TODAY: If you’ve been thinking about quitting your resolutions or goals, take a moment to ask yourself why five times until you get to the real reason. Only then you will be able to determine the best course of action for you, whether that means staying put or quitting. If you decide to continue with your resolution, here’s a post that may help: New Year’s Resolutions vs. SMART Goals.
FUTURE: Whenever you think about quitting your resolutions in the future, analyze the situation, ask why 5 times, and read these posts on quitting: Understanding when to quit and when to stick, Quit before you start, and Selective quitting. Then make a decision that will enable you to get to where you want to go faster. There’s no shame in that!
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