Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 40 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: The Celebration Principle
— From Mentoring 101: What Every Leader Needs to Know by John C. Maxwell
Happy 4th of July! Today we are celebrating Independence Day in the United States. And it’s a great day to talk about celebration.
In his book Mentoring 101, leadership guru John C. Maxwell talks about what he calls The Celebration Principle: “the true test of relationships is not only how loyal we are when friends fail, but how thrilled we are when they succeed.”
Why does this even merit writing about? Shouldn’t this be a given?
Yes and no.
Yes, because we should all celebrate success, whether our own or someone else’s. And, no, because not everybody feels that way. Oscar Wilde said it best: “Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend’s success.”
Maxwell wrote a book called Failing Forward: Turning Mistakes Into Stepping Stones for Success a few years back, and quickly found out that everyone identifies with failure. “Everybody has failed, so [sharing failure is] a great way to connect. The problem is that because people so readily identify with failure, they sometimes have a hard time connecting with success. And if they don’t identify with success, they may resent it.”
Maxwell goes on to say that the same qualities that prevent people from succeeding (insecurity, jealousy, etc.), prevent them from celebrating the success of other people. “They constantly compare themselves to others and find themselves wanting. As a result, they have a hard time getting beyond themselves.”
“Beware of the green-eyed monster,” warns Maxwell. “If most people were honest, they would admit to feelings of jealousy or envy when they witness others’ success—even when the people succeeding are close friends or people they’ve mentored.”
So, how to avoid feeling this way? The author suggests doing the following four things:
1. Realize it’s not a competition. “It’s very difficult to achieve success without help. […] Life is better in a community of people you love and who also love you.” Maxwell offers the following reflections to keep in mind and to “be the rare kind of person who is happy when others succeed.”
My success can be achieved only with others.
My lessons can be learned only from others.
My weaknesses can be strengthened only by others.
My servanthood can be tested only under others’ leadership.
My influence can be compounded only through others.
My leadership can be focused only on others.
My best can be given only to others.
My legacy can be left only for others.
So I should commit myself to and celebrate with others!
2. Celebrate when others see success. “Not everyone views success the way you do… look at things from other people’s point of view. What are their dreams? What goals have they set? What battles are they fighting?” Celebrate with them when they accomplish something that is important to them!
3. Celebrate successes others don’t yet see. “Sometimes people make great strides and aren’t even aware of it. [… Have you ever] worked on a project and felt discouraged by your progress, but had someone else marvel at what you accomplished? It is inspiring and makes you want to work that much harder.” Same goes for you, celebrate the successes of the people that surround you, especially those that they may not see.
4. Celebrate most with those closest to you. “The closer people are to you and the more important the relationship, the more you ought to celebrate. Celebrate early and often with those closest to you—especially with your spouse and children if you have a family. It’s usually easy to celebrate victories on the job or in a hobby or sport. But the greatest victories in life are the ones that occur at home.”
ACTION
TODAY: Look at the people who surround you and look for things to celebrate that they don’t see. It will be a nice surprise when you point those things out! Celebrate with a nice word, an email, a handwritten note, a cupcake, a full party (if you have time to plan it), or however you see fit. The goal is to start celebrating!
FUTURE: Make it a habit to celebrate and share the successes of others. Be genuinely happy for them and your life will be all the better for it. And don’t forget to share your success with others too, so that they can celebrate with you.
Celebrate someone’s success by sharing this post! You can do so via email, Facebook or Twitter, thanks!