Links to other parts of this miniseries:
Turn your inner critic into your inner coach-Part 1
Turn your inner critic into your inner coach-Part 3
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 30 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Turn your inner critic into your inner coach-Part 2
— From The Success Principles™: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be by Jack Canfield
Welcome back! In yesterday’s post, we realized the importance of being aware of our negative self-talk and constantly asking ourselves: Is this thought helping me or hurting me? Is it getting me closer to where I want to go, or taking me further away? Is it motivating me to action, or is it blocking me with fear and self-doubt?
Today, Jack Canfield, the author of The Success Principles™, will walk us through some of the most prevalent negative thoughts that might attack us at some point or another. By understanding them as untrue and irrational, we will promptly realize that they ought to be challenged and replaced with the truth when they pop up in our heads. Let’s dive right in!
Always-or-Never Thinking. “In reality, very few things are always or never. If you think something is always going to happen or you will never get what you want, you’re doomed from the outset. When you use all-or-nothing words such as always, never, everyone, no one, every time, and everything, you are usually wrong. […] When you find yourself thinking [in absolutes], replace them with what is really true. For example, you can replace You always take advantage of me with I get angry when you take advantage of me, but I know that you have treated me fairly in the past and that you will again.”
Focusing on the negative. “Some people focus only on the bad and never on the good in any situation… Learn to look for the positive. Not only will it help you feel better, but it will also be a critical component of your creating the success you want.”
Besides looking for the positive, the author says a great practice is to “play the Appreciation Game” and look for things to appreciate in every situation. “When you actively seek the positive, you become more appreciative and optimistic, which is a requirement for attracting more good and creating the life of your dreams.”
Catastrophic Predicting. “In catastrophic predicting, you create the worst possible scenario in your mind and then act as if it were a certainty. This could include predicting that your sales prospect won’t be interested in your product, the person you are attracted to will reject your request to go out on a date, your boss won’t give you a raise, or the plane you’re flying on will crash.”
Canfield suggests replacing, “She’ll probably laugh at me if I ask her out for a date,” with “I don’t know what she’ll do. She might say yes.” While uncertain, the truth is much more positive and hopeful than any kind of catastrophic predicting.
Mind-Reading. “You are mind-reading when you believe you know what another person is thinking even though he or she hasn’t told you. You know you’re mind-reading when you’re thinking thoughts such as He’s mad at me… She doesn’t like me… He’s going to say no… He’s going to fire me…”
The way to turn mind-reading around is to replace it with the truth: “I don’t know what he is thinking unless I ask him. Maybe he’s just having a bad day.” You can also check your assumptions by asking: “I’m imagining you might be mad at me. Are you?” Canfield gives us the catchy phrase, “When in doubt, check it out!”
Please come back tomorrow, as we’ll continue to analyze other common patterns of negative thoughts and learn how to turn them around by replacing them with the truth.
ACTION
TODAY: How many of these patterns of negative thoughts pop in your head on a daily basis? We all have them; don’t beat yourself up if you find that many, or all of them, appear often. Instead, simply be aware when they rear their ugly heads and replace them with the truth.
FUTURE: Make a habit of being aware and recognizing these patterns of negative thought when they make an entrance into your mind. Replacing them with the truth will always help defuse them, get you unstuck, and bring you back to reality.
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