You’ve met Derek Sivers before (here, here, here and here), as I love his brief but oh-so-insightful book Anything You Want. What you may not know about him is that he was a musician, and his story of becoming an entrepreneur (founding, growing and selling CD Baby) stemmed from his desire to sell his music online.
As a musician, Sivers recalls the story of the many exercises one of his voice teachers had him do:
“For each lesson, I’d bring in one song I was trying to improve. First, I’d sing it for him as written. Then he’d say, ‘OK, now do it up and octave.’ ‘Uh… up an octave? But I can’t sing that high!’ ‘I don’t care! Do it anyway! Go! One, two, three, four.’ I’d sing the whole song again, in screeching, squeaking falsetto, sounding like an undead cartoon mouse. But by the second half of the song, it was almost charming. Then he’d say, ‘OK, now do it down an octave.’ ‘Down an octave? But I don’t think I can!’ ‘Doesn’t matter! Go! One, two, three, four.’ I sounded like a garbage disposal or lawn mower, but he made me sing the whole song that way. Then he’d made me sing it twice as fast. Then twice as slow. Then like Bob Dylan. Then like Tom Waits. Then he’d tell me to sing it like it’s 4 a.m. and a friend woke me up. And then he’d give me many other scenarios. After all of this, he’d say, ‘Now, how did that song go again?’ It was the clearest proof that what I thought was ‘the’ way the song went was really just one of an infinite number of options.”
When we are stuck, or when we think there’s only one way, it’s helpful to keep this exercise in mind as it will help offer many options. Sivers goes on to illustrate how he was taking an entrepreneurship class and the group was analyzing a business plan—that proposed just one idea. He felt like saying things his teacher would have said:
“OK, make a plan that requires only $1,000. Go!”
“Now make a plan for ten times as many customers. Go!”
“Now do it without a website. Go!”
“Now make all your initial assumptions wrong, and have it work anyway. Go!”
“Now show how you would franchise it. Go!”
Sivers says, “You can’t pretend there’s only one way to do it. Your first idea is just one of many options. No business goes as planned, so make ten radically different plans.”
ACTION
TODAY: Is there a place in your professional or personal life where you are feeling stuck? Are you clinging to just that one option because you think it’s the best possible, or you’re afraid of exploring what’s out there, or you think it’s your last chance or (insert your thoughts here)? Take a moment to go through this exercise creating options for yourself. Some options will be funny, others crazy, a few may be awful… but you will certainly experience a shift inside that will make you truly realize there are other options. And while you’re at it, you may discover some options that are just great for you. OK, Go! One, two, three, four!
FUTURE: As you consider projects or plans for the future, keep this great exercise in mind. It will open up your eyes to the myriad possibilities that are out there, and provide you with flexibility to make your plans happen. There are many routes to get to your goals, so don’t be afraid to take the road less traveled or take a detour now and then. I especially like this option and suggest you keep it in mind: “Now make all your initial assumptions wrong, and have it work anyway. Go!”
Know someone who would benefit from expanding his or her options? Please share this post with that person via email, Facebook or Twitter, thank you! OK, Go!
We’ve all heard the adage it’s better to give than to receive. We bought into it and became givers—which is wonderful—but we also became very bad receivers. T. Harv Eker, personal development guru and author of Secrets of the Millionaire Mind says, “The whole idea is ludicrous. What’s better, hot or cold, big or small, left or right, in or out? Giving and receiving are two sides of the same coin. Whoever decided that it is better to give than to receive was simply bad at math. For every giver there must be a receiver, and for every receiver there must be a giver. […] Both have to be in perfect balance to work one to one, fifty-fifty. And since giving and receiving must always equal each other, they must also be equal in importance.”
Giving gives us a feeling of fulfillment like no other. We’re joyful and grateful to be able to give. But what about when we are trying to give and the other person refuses to receive? It feels terrible, doesn’t it? Now, think about those times when we are the ones that are not willing to receive.
How many times have we refused to receive something that someone wants to give us? Or taken a step further, how many times have we refused to receive something that we want to give ourselves? How many times have we said no to an opportunity and refused it because we feel we’re undeserving, not worthy, or because we have impostor syndrome? This may very well be at the subconscious level, but if you’ve ever done something to sabotage your success in big or small ways (I’m not proud to say that I’m a repeat offender in this department…) you know what I’m talking about.
Think about it for a moment. There’s a part of you that feels worthy of some things (eating, working, driving); and there’s another that doesn’t (when someone wants to give you a gift or an opportunity that is bigger than what you consider acceptable). You are living with this duality that you made up in your mind.
Eker says, “Recognize that whether you are worthy or not it’s all a made-up ‘story.’ Nothing has meaning except for the meaning we give it. […] If you say you’re worthy, you are. If you say you’re not worthy, you’re not. Either way you will live into your story. […] Only the most evolved creature on the planet, the human being, has the ability to limit itself like this. One of my own sayings is, ‘If a hundred-foot oak tree had the mind of the human, it would only grow to be ten feet tall!’ So here’s my suggestion: since it’s a lot easier to change your story than your worthiness, instead of worrying about changing your worthiness change your story. It’s a lot faster and cheaper. Simply make up a new and much more supportive story and live into that.”
How about if the new story you adopt is that of being happy and grateful to receive; willing to enjoy and make the most out of the gift; and share the joy of receiving so that others can learn to be better receivers too?
ACTION
TODAY: Give yourself a gift that in the past you wouldn’t even have considered. You can buy something if you want, but if you don’t, it doesn’t have to be a physical thing. It could be taking time from your busy schedule to walk in nature, or taking a long, contemplative bath, or giving yourself a free evening and not cleaning the kitchen tonight (hahahaha) and using that time to read your favorite book instead. You can take it up a notch and give yourself the opportunity to get to know someone: go to lunch with a colleague and don’t talk about work. Send an email to a person you admire. You’re only limited by your imagination, so make it a lovely-and-unheard-of gift from you to you. Enjoy it, no guilt, no afterthought, no remorse, just plain acceptance and gratitude. Try it!
FUTURE: Keep in mind that giving and receiving is 50-50. So, when someone wants to give you something (from a compliment to a large gift), be open to receive it and be grateful. Gifts aren’t earned otherwise they’d be called compensation. They come from the heart, and the giver always thinks that you are worthy of the gift, so it’s just you the one who needs to change your story to be a better a receiver. Change it and enjoy receiving!
Know someone who needs to learn to receive? Please share this post with that person via email, Facebook or Twitter!
Jack Mitchell is the Chairman of the Mitchell Stores. These high-end apparel boutiques provide such exceptional customer service, that Mitchell Stores is a case study at Harvard Business School.
What makes Jack Mitchell and his stores so special? The fact that they hug their customers. Mitchell says, “In some instances, we physically hug the customers—I’ve seen sales associates actually give customers a bear hug and then dance with them around the floor—but we mainly metaphorically hug them by showering them with attention in a way that every business ought to but doesn’t. […] That’s what Mitchell’s is about: making people say ‘Wow!’ ” And it’s true, I kept thinking wow! many times as I read through Hug Your Customers.
Mitchell defines hugging “as a mindset more than a physical act. It’s a way of thinking about customers… in the simplest sense, a hug is anything that exceeds a customer’s expectations.” For instance, Mitchell recalls a time when the new Chief Financial Officer of a large corporation went into his store. He (Mitchell) greeted him and congratulated him on his company’s stock rising $5 the previous day. Needless to say, the CFO was blown away. That’s what he means by a metaphoric hug.
And just as clothing, hugs come in all sizes: one time Mitchell flew a suit on a corporate jet to Tokyo for the son of a customer who needed it the next day. He also recalls lending his very own top coat to a customer who needed it right away (and happened to be the same size) while the customer’s coat arrived two days later. And at another point a customer brought in a dress she had purchased at another luxury store to get it altered in a hurry, and they did it for her.
It’s important to highlight that everyone hugs differently, “and that’s the way it should be,” says Mitchell. “You adopt the hug that works for you and your customer… Some people are comfortable giving a bear hug. Others recoil at anything too physical. That’s fine. Those people like to shake hands, or give a high five, or look you in the eye, or send personal notes.”
Mitchell states that one of the best hugs is a letter of thanks, and it’s a bonus hug if it’s handwritten or if you handwrite a note on the side of a typed letter. As an exercise, he once sat down to write a list of different hugs and got to 33 before his hand started cramping. I suggest you do the same for your customers or clients. What can you do for them that will create that wow! response? I’m adding below some of the hugs in Mitchell’s list hoping they will spark some ideas in you (some of them won’t apply to your business, but think about equivalents that work for you).
Offer someone a beverage or snack
Carry their bags to the car
Send a birthday card
Send an anniversary card
Remember names
Sew on a button
Press pants
Call when you say you will
Send flowers on a holiday
Send flowers after a big sale
Call and invite to lunch at the store
Make reservations for someone at an exclusive restaurant
Get tickets to a ball game or the theater
Open the store after hours for private appointments
Have a liberal return policy that allows you to give money back with a smile
Call another store to get something you don’t have
Show product knowledge
Smile
Resolve credit issues instantly
Give a firm handshake
Look a customer in the eye as a friend who cares
Exchange business cards
Telephone someone who’s sick to show you care
Send an email (especially to people who travel internationally)
Listen
Happy hugging!
ACTION
TODAY: Make a list of the ways in which you can hug your customers. You’ll be surprised as to the difference that even small details can make!
FUTURE: Adopt the hugging mindset. Keep your list of hugs handy and keep adding to it. Get together with your team and brainwrite ways in which you can hug your customers more and more often. Determine which hugs you can turn into policies so as to serve your clients better and offer an exceptional experience.
Know someone who needs a hug? Send this post to that person! You can do so via email, Facebook or Twitter, thanks!
TODAY’S IDEA: 9 Lessons I learned from my mom about leadership and business
Happy Mother’s Day!
From a very young age, mothers teach us many of the most important lessons that we will need in life, and also in business. As we grow up, our mothers are our leaders, and we look up to them to learn and emulate. It’s only fitting that today we thank them for everything they’ve taught us and everything they’ve done for us. As a tribute to my mom, whom I love and adore, here are 9 of the myriad lessons she’s taught me and how I use them today for leadership and business.
1. “Always take a sweater,” and “always pack a bathing suit.”
No matter how well informed you are up front, always plan for the unforeseen, best- and worst-case scenarios.
2. “Always say please and thank you.”
Common courtesy goes a very long way anywhere you go.
3. “Don’t do good things that can be perceived as being bad.”
As a leader, the only things you have are your name and your reputation. Protect them. Don’t hang out with the wrong crowd, even if you’re just trying to be nice. When they do crazy stuff, it won’t matter if you didn’t do anything, you’ll be guilty by association.
4. “Take care of yourself, you only have one body.”
YOU are the most important thing you have. Take proper care of yourself: your health and your wellbeing are first and foremost, always.
5. “If your trip is going to be a whirlwind and you don’t know what the schedule will be like, go to the bathroom when you can, and eat when you can—even if it’s not the time for it. And don’t forget to take with you water and snacks.” In the face of uncertainty, make sure you are well, and your basic needs are taken care of. Then you can tackle everything else.
6. “Think twice before giving away your toys.”
Once you give something away (from a beloved toy to equity in your company) it’s going to be very hard to get it back, if ever. Think twice before you give anything away that is precious to you, but when you do, do it gladly and fully convinced that you made the best decision.
7. “If a decision backfires, don’t blame yourself. Know that you made it with all the information you had at the moment and with the best intention in mind.”
Take your time before you make an important decision to deeply ponder all aspects of it. Ask for expert points of view, and use whatever is helpful from those opinions in forming yours. Make sure the decision is ultimately yours, and make it fully convinced that the course of action you choose is the best one for your circumstances. This is the best way to be OK with yourself and to solve things if something goes wrong or backfires. Only when you are OK with yourself can you move forward with a clear conscience and a focused mind.
8. “You can always change your mind.”
You are not bound to anything and you can always change your mind to make your circumstances better. Part of that change may involve anything from small tweaks (returning an item to the store), to big, bold and sometimes uncomfortable challenges (such as changing jobs, lifestyles, partners, getting out of a contract, etc.). Don’t ever feel stuck: there are always options for the better if you just give yourself the opportunity to search and ask for them.
9. “I’ll always be here for you.”
It’s so important to have someone in your life that you can always rely on and who is 100% dependable and trustworthy. Be that person for your loved ones. Be that person for your friends. Be that person for your team. Be that person for your clients. You will find that, in return, they’ll do the same for you and strong bonds will emerge. Cherish and celebrate those bonds.
ACTION
TODAY & FUTURE: Celebrate your mom, yourself if you are a mother, and other mothers around you—it’s the world’s toughest job! Check out this great (and funny) video below, and please share it via email, Facebook or Twitter, thanks!
We’ve all been there: we have a lightbulb moment with what seems to be a fantastic idea, and we feel such a rush that we want to stop everything and focus solely on bringing our idea to life.
Jason Fried and David Heinemeier Hansson, authors of Rework, say, “By all means, have as many great ideas as you can. Get excited about them. Just don’t act in the heat of the moment.”
Why not?
“The enthusiasm you have for an idea is not an accurate indicator of its true worth. What seems like a sure-fire hit right now often gets downgraded to just a ‘nice to have’ by morning… and [it] isn’t worth putting everything else on hold. […] So let your latest grand ideas cool off for a while first.”
The authors suggest writing down the ideas and coming back to them a few days later, when we can evaluate them with a calm, cool mind.
Seth Godin, marketing guru, wrote in his blog, “Someone asked me where I get all my good ideas, explaining that it takes him a month or two to come up with one and I seem to have more than that. I asked him how many bad ideas he has every month. He paused and said, ‘none.’ And there, you see, is the problem.” (Source) “Good ideas come from bad ideas, but only if there are enough of them.” (Source) And in his book Linchpin, Godin writes, “All the creativity books in the world aren’t going to help you if you’re unwilling to have lousy, lame and even dangerously bad ideas.”
Fried and Hansson make a very good point. And when combined with Godin’s, that enthusiasm should fuel us to keep coming up with ideas, without regard for whether they are good or bad. Once we write them down and examine them later, we can prioritize the ones that truly have merit.
To sum up, don’t be afraid to have bad ideas. Just don’t act on them when they first arrive, because at that moment they seem fantastic. Keep your enthusiasm for producing more and more ideas: the more bad ideas you have, the better your good ideas will be.
Happy ideating!
ACTION
TODAY: Stuck on something and at a loss for ideas? (Remember there’s no such thing as a shortage of ideas.) How about trying deliberately to come up with 3 horrible and terrible ideas? Once you’ve picked yourself up from the floor and stopped laughing, then you’ll be able to come up with a more sensible list to help you out on whatever you are trying to do. That list will still have many bad ideas, but simply look for the good ones as you separate wheat from chaff.
FUTURE: Make a list of as-many-ideas-as-you-can-come-up-with to help you out on whatever you are stuck. Park it somewhere for a day or two, and then come back to sift through the ideas. The benefit of letting the ideas sit for a period of time is that your mind will also be clearer on what you need. Then you can start evaluating the merits and worthiness of each idea you had, and after that you can start to implement the very best.
Know someone who needs ideas? Please share this post with them via email, Facebook or Twitter, thank you!
Elaine Pofeldt writes about one-person businesses that break the seven-figure revenue mark for Forbes.com. In her recent book, The Million-Dollar One-Person Business she shares the insights from her research, as well as lots of stories from entrepreneurs who have achieved this goal. The book is a great crash course on how to make it happen, with plenty of advice and resources, and she leaves no stone unturned.
One of the concepts that I liked very much—because it can apply to all walks of (business) life—is that of finding your genius or your unique marketable skill.Many people believe that “they can succeed only in marketing expertise that is tied to what they studied in school or do for a living. Those avenues can offer you exciting possibilities, but there may be many more options available to you.” Whether you are starting a business or a new job, or you just want an additional stream of income, or you don’t aspire to any of this, Pofeldt offers a set of questions designed to help figure out what matters to you and how you can go about finding your genius.
“What niche areas of your work do you have a special passion for—and a deep knowledge about?”
“What hobbies and personal interests do you read and learn about constantly, because you genuinely enjoy them?”
“Which of your endeavors generate the most curiosity among the people you meet? These may be activities like home-schooling, urban farming, teaching abroad, or other pursuits the average person may not have had a chance to try.”
“What challenges and problems have you addressed successfully in your own unique way after doing thorough research? These may be ‘good’ problems like decorating a small house on a budget, or serious ones, like addressing a child’s illness through alternative healing modalities.”
“What roles do you play in your personal life—parent, caregiver, coach, neighbor, mentor, volunteer—that have given you unique knowledge that might benefit others?”
“What situations have you been unwittingly thrust into that gave you a fresh perspective on an issue people care about?”
“What trends do you know abut that other people have yet to discover?”
As you can see, all these questions help us figure out what we’re good at, above and beyond our most visible expertise and experience (college, business). This will open up possibilities for you and will enable you to see yourself in a more positive light.
“The art and science of asking questions is the source of all knowledge.” — Thomas Berger
NOTE: If you happen to be in New York this Thursday, May 3, 2018, I’m organizing an event with Elaine at the Business Library. She will moderate a panel with some of the entrepreneurs featured in her book. It’s free. Find out more and register here. If you are not in NY but want to watch it online, it will be livestreamed via Facebook.com/NYPLBiz from 6-7:30 PM (U.S. Eastern Time) or you can always catch it later on the video section of that page.
ACTION
TODAY: Go through the set of questions above. What new things did you discover about yourself? What had you forgotten? What did your memory bring up that you had not considered a skill or an asset before? This is such a worthy exercise, especially because we sometimes take our gifts for granted. We don’t dismiss them on purpose, but we don’t necessarily acknowledge them as gifts because they come to us so easily that we think they’re normal and that everyone else is the same. That is your unique genius.
FUTURE: Whenever you are contemplating a new project in your life, go through the questions above. They will help you reflect on your strengths and gifts, and also on how you can bring your unique genius to the project for maximum success.
Know someone who needs to find their unique genius? Please share this post via email, Facebook or Twitter, thank you!
TODAY’S IDEA: One of many options
TODAY’S IDEA: 9 Lessons I learned from my mom about leadership and business
