by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Goals, Growth, Habits, Mindset, Planning, Productivity, Resolutions, Time, Tools
Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 55 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Today is National Ditch Your Resolutions Day
— From The Perfect Day Formula: How to Own the Day And Control Your Life by Craig Ballantyne
Whaaaaaaaaaaaat???????!!!!!!
Not happy with Quitters’ Day someone decided to have a National Ditch Your Resolutions Day… Really?????!!!!!
Yep. And that day is today, January 17, “popularly thought to be the day when a large number of people abandon their New Year’s resolutions.” (Source.)
According to the stats cited in this Inc. Magazine article, 91% of people fail to keep their resolutions. However, that is not appalling, given that resolutions—in my opinion—are just like wishes: very nice to have but not necessary.
If you want to be successful, the resolutions and wishes have to be substituted by goals and habits.
And a great author and role model for this is Craig Ballantyne. In his book The Perfect Day Formula, he sets out a 7-step plan to create Habits of Steel:
1. Figure out what matters… and focus on it. “Success requires us to do the first things first. Choose your time wisely. Figure out what really matters to you and then use the rest of the steps to build habits that allow you to focus your time on it.”
2. Identify steps to success and rules for your life. “No one will ever be perfect at keeping to their rules, but you will be better for trying, and you will have stronger habits that allow you to avoid the disappointment, guilt, and regret of wasted days.”
3. Create a checklist for new habits. “Connecting a positive action… with a daily trigger… is a great way to create new habits. Each habit needs to be broken down into action items for you to get started.”
4. Prepare the night before. “Winning habits begin with proper planning. Prepare your checklist. Lay out an easy-to-follow pathway for success. Set out any tools you will need to do for the first things first.”
5. Remove all obstacles. “ Removing obstacles, temptations, and bad habits is one of the most important changes you can make in life. Eliminating the negatives is often more important for success than relying on willpower for the creation of new habits.”
6. Take massive action. “We can control what time we wake up, what habits we start the day with, what temptations enter—and are eliminated—from our lives, and what systems we have in place for dealing with all of these. We can believe in ourselves or we can have doubt. It’s our choice.”
7. Learn and improve. “Few days will be easy. Most days will require you to fight tooth-and-nail to stick to your habits and achieve your goals. On those days, take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes and struggles. They will make you stronger.”
Oh, and one last thing: Ballantyne says that a little incentive never hurts. “Give yourself a prize for taking action and following through. We repeat what we reward. It can be as simple as enjoying the beauty of a sunrise as you meditate.”
So, are you ready to celebrate National Ditch Your Resolutions Day by ditching your resolutions and turning them into habits? Imagine what your life will be like a year from now if you turned your resolutions or wishes into ingrained habits.
I’m cheering for you!
ACTION
TODAY: What resolutions would you like to turn into habits? Be very specific and then apply Ballantyne’s seven-step plan. For more on how to succeed at this, here’s a post I wrote last year: New Year’s Resolutions vs. SMART Goals.
FUTURE: Next year, don’t set resolutions. Instead, set goals that you can turn into habits.
Know someone who would like to ditch their resolutions for goals and habits instead? Please share this post with them via email, Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn, thank you!
by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Goals, Growth, Habits, Leadership, Mindset, Planning, Tools
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 7 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Yes and No Are Choices We Make
— From: Habit Changers: 81 Game-Changing Mantras to Mindfully Realize Your Goals by M. J. Ryan
In yesterday’s post, we learned that our reaction to what happens is our choice. This prompted me to go back to M.J. Ryan’s book, Habit Changers, where she taught a client of hers that yes and no are choices we make.
Ryan’s client was an executive director of a nonprofit. As part of the coaching process, the homework for the client was to apply what she learned in the session to her life. What Ryan noticed was that the client would agree to do it but she’d skip it, and the next time they’d meet, the client had not done it. This went on for several sessions.
Ryan pointed this out to the client, and the client instantly had an epiphany: “That’s why people are so upset with me as a leader! I do that with everyone—I say yes to whatever they ask because I want to please them, and then I don’t follow through because I’ve got too much to do!”
The author says that not being able to say no, “stems from a desire to make others happy and avoid conflict.” The unfortunate part is that “it ends up creating more conflict and disappointment than if you had said no in the first place.” And Ryan proposes this apt mantra: “You can’t say yes if you can’t say no.”
She goes on to say that, “when you say yes to something you can’t follow through on, you’re not actually being helpful—you’re just appeasing those around you and ultimately causing bad feelings.”
By remembering that yes and no are choices we make and repeating that mantra, Ryan’s client “discovered that the more she could say no when she felt it, the more her yes was wholehearted.” The client’s story, fortunately, has a happy ending: “her follow-through improved dramatically and so did her team’s respect for her word.”
No matter how much we want to please or appease, saying yes when we don’t know if we’ll be certain to make it happen is not the best strategy. It puts our word and reputation on the line. Learning to say no is one of the best skills we can learn.
Have you ever found yourself saying yes out of a sense of not wanting to hurt anybody’s feelings or to appease someone? I know I have because I’m a pleaser. While I’m definitely not proud of those moments, they serve me as reminders of how I need to see the person and the favor asked of me as two different things. My relationship with the person who is asking is one thing and that, fortunately, doesn’t change (family, friend, client, etc). The favor that he/she is asking me to do is a completely different thing, and this frees me up to say yes or no based on my workload. Giving an answer to the task someone asks me to do is easier if I separate it this way in my mind.
How have you been able to learn to say no? Let me know in the comments here!
ACTION
TODAY: Remember that yes and no are choices we make, from tiny ones to major decisions. What choices will you make today?
FUTURE: Keep reminding yourself that yes and no are separate from the relationship that you have with the person who asks you to do something. While being on the receiving end of no may not be what the person who asked was expecting, if you explain that you won’t be able to fulfill what is asked of you and you don’t want to disappoint, your answer will be appreciated and respected.
Know someone who would like to read this post? Please share it with them via email, Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn, thank you!
by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Goals, Growth, Mindset, Planning, Productivity, Time, Tools
Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 57 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Quitters’ Day
— From Endeavor: Thrive Through Work Aligned with Your Values, Talents, and Tribe by Scott Perry
Strava, the British social network for athletes, studied social media and was able to pinpoint “Quitters’ Day” — the day in which people are most likely to give up on their new year’s resolutions.
And when is Quitter’s Day, you are asking? Tomorrow, the second Friday in January.
In case you are experiencing #resolutionfail and thinking about quitting, I wanted to share with you a passage from the marvelous book Endeavor by my friend Scott Perry.
Most of the time, when we quit, is because things got tough along the way and we saw those obstacles as unsurmountable. Alternatively, we also quit because we decide we simply aren’t willing to do what it takes to continue along the path we had set, and we prefer to pursue something else.
And while quitting projects isn’t bad per se, as it opens up time and opportunities for us to focus on something else, sometimes we feel terribly ashamed.
So, whether you decide to quit or not, move forward swiftly with your decision. And if you change your mind and don’t want to continue, don’t be ashamed. Here’s what Perry so eloquently and beautifully says about this:
“You can’t advance an endeavor without making mistakes. Getting things ‘right’ involves going through a lot of ‘wrong.’
And some of those ‘wrong’ choices come with a heaping helping of regret. And when regret appears, you can be sure that shame is following close behind.
But here’s the thing, when shame comes to visit, you don’t have to extend it an invitation to stay for a week or even overnight. You’re not required to ask shame to lunch or tea.
Don’t draw the shades and lock the door. That only encourages shame to hang around. And shame is very patient and extremely persistent.
Instead, meet shame at the door and thank it.
‘Thank you shame for coming by. Your presence indicates I have work to do. A mistake to own, an apology and amends to make. Sitting with you, for even a minute, will only get in the way of the important work I must do. So thanks again for stopping by, I’m quite sure I’ll be seeing you again.’
Then practice the 4 Rs of an intentional, healing, and meaningful apology: recognize that you’re wrong, take responsibility, express your regret, do what you can to make it right. Then move on to what’s next.
Mistakes are inevitable. Shame is a choice.”
If you give up, don’t give in to shame. You have your reasons to move on to something else and, as long as you learn from this, then you’ll be better off in whatever you decide to do next.
ACTION
TODAY: If you’ve been thinking about quitting your resolutions or goals, take a moment to ask yourself why five times until you get to the real reason. Only then you will be able to determine the best course of action for you, whether that means staying put or quitting. If you decide to continue with your resolution, here’s a post that may help: New Year’s Resolutions vs. SMART Goals.
FUTURE: Whenever you think about quitting your resolutions in the future, analyze the situation, ask why 5 times, and read these posts on quitting: Understanding when to quit and when to stick, Quit before you start, and Selective quitting. Then make a decision that will enable you to get to where you want to go faster. There’s no shame in that!
Know someone who would like to read this post? Please share it with them via email, Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn, thank you!
by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Goals, Growth, Habits, Mindset, Planning, Productivity, Resolutions, Tools
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 7 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Motion vs. Action: The Difference Means Your Success
— From Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones by James Clear
How are your New Year’s resolutions coming along? As we’re getting started this year with their implementation, “it is easy to get bogged down trying to find the optimal plan for change: the fastest way to lose weight, the best program to build muscle, the perfect idea for a side hustle. We are so focused on figuring out the best approach that we never get around to taking action.”
“The best is the enemy of the good.” – Voltaire
Habit guru and author James Clear, in his book Atomic Habits, refers to this as motion vs. action, that is, the difference between being in motion and taking action:
“The two ideas sound similar, but they’re not the same. When you’re in motion you’re planning and strategizing and learning. Those are all good things, but they don’t produce a result.
Action, on the other hand, is the type of behavior that will deliver an outcome. If I outline 20 ideas for articles I want to write, that’s motion. If I actually sit down and write an article, that’s action. If I search for a better diet plan and read a few books on the topic, that’s motion. If I actually eat a healthy meal, that’s action.
Sometimes motion is useful, but it will never produce an outcome by itself. It doesn’t matter how many times you talk to the personal trainer, that motion will never get you in shape. Only the action of working out will get the result you’re looking to achieve.”
At this point, you’re probably thinking that motion is a necessary precursor of action, as we actually need to learn and plan before doing something. I completely agree with you on that. Where the author cautions us not to get stuck is in the planning phase. “More often than not, we do it because motion allows us to feel like we’re making progress without running the risk of failure. […] It’s easy to be in motion and convince yourself that you’re still making progress. […] When preparation becomes a form of procrastination, you need to change something. You don’t want to merely be planning. You want to be practicing.”
And that is the key to creating a new habit that will lead you to your goals: practice, practice, practice. The more you repeat this new behavior, the faster you’ll be on your way to master your new habit.
What new habit are you trying to master? Was motion vs. action an eye-opener for you? It was for me! Let me know your thoughts in the comments here.
ACTION
TODAY: What new habit are you trying to master? What action do you need to take to make it happen? Set a schedule for your actions and/or pick a date to go from motion into action. Take action today, even if it’s the smallest one you can take so that you make it impossible to fail.
FUTURE: Whenever you are looking at mastering a new habit, remember that you will indeed be in motion initially, as it refers to learning and planning, but don’t let this paralyze you (analysis paralysis). Action is what will lead you to success: schedule it and set timelines to shift into action. Read more about this.
Know someone who is trying to master a new habit this new year and could benefit from learning about motion vs. action? Please share this post with them via email, Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn, thank you!
by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Goals, Habits, Mindset, Planning, Tools
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 12 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Pointing and Calling for Habit Success
— From Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones by James Clear
Pointing and calling is a method in occupational safety for avoiding mistakes by pointing at important indicators and calling out the status. It is used in by train operators in Japan and in the New York City Subway system.
For instance, in Tokyo, “When the train approaches a signal, the operator will point at it and say, ‘Signal is green.’ As the train pulls into and out of each station, the operator will point at the speedometer and call out the exact speed. When it’s time to leave, the operator will point at the timetable and state the time. Out on the platform, other employees are performing similar actions. Before each train departs, staff members will point along the edge of the platform and declare, ‘All clear!’ Every detail is identified, pointed at, and named aloud.” (More about pointing and calling here.)
In his book Atomic Habits, author James Clear says that while pointing and calling may seem silly, “it works incredibly well… [and] is so effective because it raises the level of awareness from a nonconscious habit to a more conscious level. Because the train operators must use their hands, mouth, and ears, they are more likely to notice problems before something goes wrong.”
Have you ever found yourself stopping for a moment to call out what you need or what you have before you do something? You’re likely doing your own version of pointing and calling. I know I do: every time I’m about to leave on a trip I always say, I’ve got my keys, my wallet, my phone, my passport, the ticket…
“The more automatic a behavior becomes, the less likely we are to consciously think about it. And when we’ve done something a thousand times before, we begin to overlook things. We assume that the next time will be just like the last. We’re so used to doing what we’ve always done that we don’t stop to question whether it’s the right thing to do at all,” says Clear.
As we start this new year with new goals, we will need to build new habits and get rid of old or bad ones. Because of this, I thought I’d share the author’s ideas on the awareness and action (or inaction) that the pointing and calling technique creates:
“The first step to changing bad habits is to be on the lookout for them. If you feel you need extra help, then you can try Pointing-and-Calling in your own life. Say out loud the action that you are thinking of taking and what the outcome will be. If you want to cut out on your junk food habit, but notice yourself grabbing another cookie, say out loud, ‘I’m about to eat this cookie but I don’t need it. Eating will cause me to gain weight and hurt my health.’
Hearing your bad habits spoken aloud makes the consequences seem more real. It adds weight to the action rather than letting yourself mindlessly slip into an old routine… You’re getting yourself to acknowledge the need for action–and that can make all the difference.”
By pointing and calling, we will be able to break the unconsciousness of our habits. At that point, then we can decide, right before we act, whether we want to move forward with our old habits or not, and then we can act on the new ones.
ACTION
TODAY: Try pointing and calling before doing something. You’ll see how much more awareness this simple technique brings into your life.
FUTURE: As you try to break some old habits to give way to the new ones you want to create, add pointing and calling to your repertoire.
Know someone who would be interested in pointing and calling? Please share this post with them via email, Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn, thank you!
by Helena Escalante | Goals, Growth, Leadership, Mindset, Miniseries, Resources
TODAY’S IDEA: 12 Books of Greatness – Day 10
The 12 days of Christmas refers to the period of celebration (secular and religious) from December 25 through January 5. And because it coincides with the period of time that I’m going to be out on vacation visiting my family, I thought I’d make a miniseries for you during this time with posts from 12 Books of Greatness.
I strongly believe that greatness starts within us, so all of the posts that I chose for these 12 days come from books that are tremendously insightful. My hope is that reading these posts will give you plenty of ideas and “a-ha!” moments to end 2018 strong and start 2019 on a high note!
12 Books of Greatness – Day 10
From What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful
By Marshall Goldsmith
Links to other posts in this miniseries: Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, Day 4, Day 5, Day 6, Day 7, Day 8, Day 9.
Know someone who would like this book or this miniseries on 12 Books of Greatness? Please share it with them via email, Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn, thank you!
