by Helena Escalante | Goals, Growth, Habits, Mindset, Miniseries, Planning, Tools
Links to other parts of this miniseries:
Turn your inner critic into your inner coach-Part 1
Turn your inner critic into your inner coach-Part 3
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 30 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Turn your inner critic into your inner coach-Part 2
— From The Success Principles™: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be by Jack Canfield
Welcome back! In yesterday’s post, we realized the importance of being aware of our negative self-talk and constantly asking ourselves: Is this thought helping me or hurting me? Is it getting me closer to where I want to go, or taking me further away? Is it motivating me to action, or is it blocking me with fear and self-doubt?
Today, Jack Canfield, the author of The Success Principles™, will walk us through some of the most prevalent negative thoughts that might attack us at some point or another. By understanding them as untrue and irrational, we will promptly realize that they ought to be challenged and replaced with the truth when they pop up in our heads. Let’s dive right in!
Always-or-Never Thinking. “In reality, very few things are always or never. If you think something is always going to happen or you will never get what you want, you’re doomed from the outset. When you use all-or-nothing words such as always, never, everyone, no one, every time, and everything, you are usually wrong. […] When you find yourself thinking [in absolutes], replace them with what is really true. For example, you can replace You always take advantage of me with I get angry when you take advantage of me, but I know that you have treated me fairly in the past and that you will again.”
Focusing on the negative. “Some people focus only on the bad and never on the good in any situation… Learn to look for the positive. Not only will it help you feel better, but it will also be a critical component of your creating the success you want.”
Besides looking for the positive, the author says a great practice is to “play the Appreciation Game” and look for things to appreciate in every situation. “When you actively seek the positive, you become more appreciative and optimistic, which is a requirement for attracting more good and creating the life of your dreams.”
Catastrophic Predicting. “In catastrophic predicting, you create the worst possible scenario in your mind and then act as if it were a certainty. This could include predicting that your sales prospect won’t be interested in your product, the person you are attracted to will reject your request to go out on a date, your boss won’t give you a raise, or the plane you’re flying on will crash.”
Canfield suggests replacing, “She’ll probably laugh at me if I ask her out for a date,” with “I don’t know what she’ll do. She might say yes.” While uncertain, the truth is much more positive and hopeful than any kind of catastrophic predicting.
Mind-Reading. “You are mind-reading when you believe you know what another person is thinking even though he or she hasn’t told you. You know you’re mind-reading when you’re thinking thoughts such as He’s mad at me… She doesn’t like me… He’s going to say no… He’s going to fire me…”
The way to turn mind-reading around is to replace it with the truth: “I don’t know what he is thinking unless I ask him. Maybe he’s just having a bad day.” You can also check your assumptions by asking: “I’m imagining you might be mad at me. Are you?” Canfield gives us the catchy phrase, “When in doubt, check it out!”
Please come back tomorrow, as we’ll continue to analyze other common patterns of negative thoughts and learn how to turn them around by replacing them with the truth.
ACTION
TODAY: How many of these patterns of negative thoughts pop in your head on a daily basis? We all have them; don’t beat yourself up if you find that many, or all of them, appear often. Instead, simply be aware when they rear their ugly heads and replace them with the truth.
FUTURE: Make a habit of being aware and recognizing these patterns of negative thought when they make an entrance into your mind. Replacing them with the truth will always help defuse them, get you unstuck, and bring you back to reality.
Know someone who might like this post? Please share this post or this miniseries via email, Facebook or Twitter, thanks!
by Helena Escalante | Goals, Growth, Habits, Mindset, Miniseries, Planning, Tools
Links to other parts of this miniseries:
Turn your inner critic into your inner coach-Part 2
Turn your inner critic into your inner coach-Part 3
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 15 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Turn your inner critic into your inner coach-Part 1
— From The Success Principles™: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be by Jack Canfield
In this miniseries, business guru Jack Canfield, will teach us how to transform our inner critic into our inner coach. This is very important—and life changing—because research indicates that we talk to ourselves, on average, about 50,000 times a day. And while there’s nothing wrong about talking to ourselves, the unfortunate part is that 80% of that self-talk is negative (!).
We tell ourselves such things as: “I shouldn’t have said… They don’t like me… I’m never going to be able to pull this off… I don’t like the way my hair looks today… That other team is going to kill us…I can’t dance… I’m not a speaker… I’ll never lose this weight… I can’t ever seem to get organized… I’m always late…”
“Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they’re yours.” – Richard Bach
Research also shows that our thoughts affect our physiology and biochemistry. We’ve all heard stories of people who “stutter, spill things, forget [their] lines, break out in a sweat, breathe shallowly, feel anxious or scared,” as a result of a negative thought.
And we also know from lie-detector tests that our bodies react to our thoughts changing “temperature, heart rate, blood pressure, breathing rate, muscle tension, and how much [our] hands sweat.”
Changes in the body do not occur as a response only to lies or negative thoughts. They also take place as a response to any thought. “Positive thoughts affect your body in a positive way, making you more relaxed, centered and alert. Positive thoughts cause the secretion of endorphins in the brain and reduce pain and increase pleasure.”
So, how can we change the negative thoughts for positive ones?
Canfield says, “The key to dealing with any kind of negative thinking is to realize that you are ultimately in charge of whether to listen to or agree with any thought. Just because you think it—or hear it—doesn’t mean it’s true.”
Drawing on the work of Dr. Daniel G. Amen, M.D., clinical neuroscientist, psychiatrist, and author of Change Your Brain, Change Your Life, Canfield shows a simple path to turn the negative toughs into positive ones: First, you must become aware of the negative thoughts; next you have to challenge them; and, finally, you have to replace them with affirming and positive thoughts. We will learn how to do this further into this miniseries.
For now, Canfield urges us to constantly ask ourselves:
Is this thought helping me or hurting me?
Is it getting me closer to where I want to go, or taking me further away?
Is it motivating me to action, or is it blocking me with fear and self-doubt?
Additionally, he says we must “learn to challenge and talk back to the thoughts that are not serving [us] in creating greater success and happiness.”
And, exactly, how do we do this?
Come back tomorrow to learn how! As a starting point, Canfield will walk us through some of the most prevalent negative thoughts that might attack us at some point or another. By understanding and recognizing them as untrue and irrational, we will promptly realize that they ought to be challenged and replaced.
ACTION
TODAY & FUTURE: Be aware of all the self-talk that goes on in your head. You’ll realize that there is a constant conversation going on! Whenever there’s a negative or an unsettling thought, ask yourself the three questions that Canfield poses above: Is this thought helping me or hurting me? Is it getting me closer to where I want to go, or taking me further away? Is it motivating me to action, or is it blocking me with fear and self-doubt?
Check out tomorrow’s installment to learn to distinguish negative thoughts and how to turn them around to your advantage.
Know someone who might like this post? Please share this post via email, Facebook or Twitter, thanks!
by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Goals, Growth, Habits, Leadership, Mindset, Miniseries, Planning, Productivity, Time, Tools
Other parts of the miniseries:
Winning the war for time–Part 1
Winning the war for time–Part 2
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 29 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Winning the war for time–Part 3
— From Learning to Lead: Bringing Out the Best in People by Fred Smith (1915-2007)
So far we’ve been learning how to win the war for time, from Learning to Lead by Fred Smith. In yesterday’s post, Smith shared his views on investing time as well as earning and demanding respect for our time from others. Today we’ll look at ourselves.
An important point that Smith makes in the war against wasting time is that of our personal habits: “Not all time losses can be blamed on other people. Some things are entirely within us.”
It is helpful if we review our habits every so often, as they can sometimes “deteriorate without our realizing it, until they are hurtful instead of helpful.”
The first mention in the list of worst-offenders is orderliness. At first glance, this looks like a virtue, yet it is necessary to clarify the distinction between being organized versus being orderly: “People who are too fastidious turn orderliness into an end rather than a means—and that takes a lot of time. It’s much more important to be organized.”
Another habit that is not helpful for our time is that of perfectionism. We must guard against perfectionism and be aware when it appears. “Very few things in this world are worth perfecting, and it takes an enormous amount of time to perfect anything.”
Smith makes a distinction: “If you’re perfecting something because you feel… that it needs perfecting, that’s one thing. But if you’re doing it so people will say how good you are… or because you’re afraid of criticism, that’s wasteful. You must decide the degree of perfection your work requires.”
If you are a recovering perfectionist like I am (#NotProud), check out this post on moving forward imperfectly.
Another bad habit is that of overcomplicating the execution of our gifts, thus delaying delivery time on them. “Most people do not really appreciate what they can do best because it’s too much fun! They have [a concept] of work that says it’s supposed to be difficult. This makes a person’s specialty feel like leisure or entertainment, not ‘work’—and that becomes a trap. Fast isn’t always bad.”
Besides these time-wasting habits, the author explains what he calls the three temptations that also drain a lot of time. They are:
- Procrastination: “A lot of procrastination is based on our fear of action. We review and review and review. […] Time means nothing if you don’t have the energy to focus.”
- Rationalization: “Trying to prove to yourself you weren’t wrong. It would be so much easier to say, ‘I messed up.’ […] That would save a lot of time.”
- Indecision: “Many people can make good decisions but they won’t. Because that means putting their ego on the line.”
Also, it goes without saying, but our health is paramount to be able to use our time well. “If a person is sick twenty days a year, that’s an obvious time loss.” While we cannot control getting sick or injured, we can definitely take good care of ourselves to enjoy, overall, a healthy existence, and for our bodies to heal promptly when needed.
As another point in the war plan for time, Smith mentions the need for time out. “I guard two things in life: savings and time alone. I simply must have two days every so often to talk to nobody.” And besides taking the time to be alone, relaxed and refreshed, “time with just a few special people is also strategic.”
We’ve come to the end of this miniseries on winning the war for time. These are the ways in which Smith maximizes the opportunities, not just to save time, but also to use it wisely, profitably, and get a return on his investment. Which one of them resonated the most with you? Let me know in the comments here.
ACTION
TODAY: Examine your personal habits to see if they enable you to use time wisely or if they contribute to your losing time.
FUTURE: Change those habits that are no longer helpful to you. Here are 5 Strategies for eliminating bad habits and 6 Techniques for Installing Good Habits.
Know someone who is always battling time? Please share this post or the whole miniseries with that person. Thank you! Email, Facebook or Twitter.
by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Goals, Growth, Habits, Leadership, Mindset, Miniseries, Planning, Productivity, Time, Tools
Other parts of the miniseries:
Winning the war for time–Part 1
Winning the war for time–Part 3
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 37 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Winning the war for time–Part 2
— From Learning to Lead: Bringing Out the Best in People by Fred Smith (1915-2007)
In yesterday’s post, we learned the importance of having clarity on our philosophy on time: Fred Smith, leadership guru, taught us some powerful questions to ask ourselves in his book Learning to Lead to determine why we want to get more out of time.
Today, we’ll see why Smith questions the idea of spending time and, instead, prefers to see time as an investment.
He says, “There are two ways to approach time. One is technological: minutes as units. The other is the philosophical: minutes as meaning. […] Too often people don’t know the difference between a fast track and a frantic track.” Smith enjoys a fast-track life, but he doesn’t relish being frantic. That’s an incredibly important distinction.
“It’s just as foolish to use every minute for activity as it is to spend every nickel you’ve got.”
The author goes on to say, “Some people think they have to spend time, use it up one way or another—while others invest it.” His philosophy is to invest it, which means looking for a return on what he does. “Some of that return will be in dollars or other visible achievement, but some will be more internal. Investing time wisely does something for you. Over a period of time it brings an appreciation, a patina to life; it generates maturity and fullness.”
A key thing to consider, as Smith points out, is that “Opportunity is not a mandate to do. Your mandate comes from what you have chosen to try to accomplish.” And he illustrates this by saying, “If a farmer has a bushel of corn and several different fields in which to plant it, he will pick the most fertile field.”
This is a great concept to keep in mind nowadays, when we all live with FOMO, the Fear Of Missing Out, and thus try to do too much as we don’t want to miss any opportunities.
Another important point that Smith makes is that of earning respect for our time.
Just as we respect and value other people’s time and effort, we should expect and demand that people respect ours the same way.
People respect us when we address their problems quickly. “There’s something professional about that,” writes the author. “If through reading as well as living we have developed the intuition, knowledge and experience to be helpful to others, and if we have the courage to go right at the issue and not be afraid of conflict, people will see we mean business with our time.”
In practical terms, the best way to do this is to “train people to think in terms of schedule” by saying things that will signal such respect for our time and that of others.
For instance, “You can set definite times for meetings. Even if the calendar is open, you don’t say, ‘Well, come any time Tuesday.’ Instead you say, ‘I’ll be glad to see you. How long do you think you’ll need?’ or ‘How long will it take us to accomplish what you’ve got in mind?’”
Also, Smith says, “You can telegraph your view of time by cutting the conversation off promptly at the end. ‘Is there anything else that we should talk about, or are we finished?’ This establishes the reason why we’re talking: to accomplish something.”
I like Smith’s approach to time because I think it’s sensible and practical. Come back tomorrow for another installment of this miniseries. Smith will be guiding us through personal habits to avoid wasting time, among other topics.
ACTION
TODAY: Think of times when you have spent more time than you wanted in a meeting or a project. What is the common denominator among all those times? How do you give people access to your time? How can you change that access? Work on the language you use with yourself and with others to think in terms of schedule.
FUTURE: Once you’ve figured out how to improve the ways in which you handle your time with others, begin to test. Slowly but surely, you’ll be getting used to the language that works best in each occasion, to the point where you won’t make the mistakes of the past again. Test and rehearse many times until it all comes naturally.
Know someone who is always battling time? Please share this post with that person. Thank you! Email, Facebook or Twitter.
by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Goals, Growth, Habits, Leadership, Mindset, Miniseries, Planning, Productivity, Time, Tools
Other parts of the miniseries:
Winning the war for time–Part 2
Winning the war for time–Part 3
Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 56 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Winning the war for time–Part 1
— From Learning to Lead: Bringing Out the Best in People by Fred Smith (1915-2007)
If you find yourself in a crunch and need to make or find time, Fred Smith, leadership guru, gave us this miniseries a while back: How to find 5 extra hours per week.
However, those tactics are geared to win a short battle for time, as you cannot sustain them for the long run. Enter this new miniseries as a continuation of the previous one, also from Fred Smith’s book Learning to Lead. This time we will focus on, in the author’s words, winning the war for time.
“You can only win the war with a philosophical base,” says Smith. This means asking WHY you want to get more out of time: “Is it because [you] want to become famous or make money? [Are you] part of a peer group that always seems busy? What’s the real reason to squeeze more into [your] days and weeks?”
“These days, haste has become a status symbol. People assume, If I’m busier than you are, I must be more important.”
Smith confesses to being perplexed: “Maybe I’m missing something, but I always thought if you were successful, you had more time, not less. […] Lack of time is a status symbol, and that, to me, is backwards. If you really are somebody, you are in control of your time.”
What, then, should the best approach to time be? A very American idea is that of utilizing time to its fullest. Smith shares his thoughts: “I think optimizing opportunities and talents… is a valid reason to use time well.” And he says that this point of view arises from his philosophical cornerstones:
- Time is simply life’s clock. “Time is a tool—a means in life, never an end. […] Time is not something to be pursued for it’s own sake but for what can be done with it.”
- Life is measured by time. “I have a responsibility to control it,” says Smith. “Most of us don’t let other people spend our money; likewise, we should limit their power to spend our time also.”
- We all have the same amount of time each day as everybody else. “The great achievers of the world don’t have any more time than [we] do. It’s simply untrue to say, ‘I don’t have enough time.’ What is not the same for everybody is energy. Unless I recognize my level of energy and recognize that it comes in ebbs and surges, I won’t accomplish all I could.” (This miniseries can help with harnessing your energy and creating the time and space for being awesomely effective.)
- Know the ultimate purpose of your life. This is the only way you’ll be able to know whether you are using your time properly and wisely. Smith mentions that, if you don’t know that ultimate purpose, you have no way of judging your efficiency.
And I’ll leave you to ponder these thoughts today. Please come back tomorrow for another installment of this miniseries where Smith shares why it’s better to invest time than to spend it.
ACTION
TODAY: Ask yourself: What is your philosophical approach to time? Why do you want to get more out of time? Your answers will help bring you clarity.
FUTURE: With your newfound clarity about your philosophy of time, apply it now to your purpose. What activities do you think will be the best use of your time?
Know someone who is always battling time? Please share this post with that person. Thank you! Email, Facebook or Twitter.
by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Goals, Growth, Leadership, Mindset, Opportunity, Planning, Productivity, Resources, Time, Tools
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 53 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Warren Buffett’s little-known tool for prioritizing
— From Warren Buffett’s 5-Step Process for Prioritizing True Success (and Why Most People Never Do It) as appears in the Live Your Legend blog post by the late Scott Dinsmore. Today the site is run by Chelsea Dinsmore.
We’ve talked about prioritizing before, yet I’m always on a quest for additional tools and hacks that can I bring into my life and my projects.
Today I came across a great story in the Live Your Legend blog. It’s about Warren Buffet teaching his pilot a 5-step process on how to prioritize, and a great, new, little-known tool that everyone should adopt.
The story goes like this (taken directly from the post):
1. Know what you want – List your top 25. One day, a few years back Warren went up to his pilot (we’ll call him Steve) and jokingly said, “The fact that you’re still working for me, tells me I’m not doing my job. You should be out, going after more of your goals and dreams.” Warren then asked Steve to list the top 25 things he wanted to do in the next few years or even his lifetime.
2. Pick your Top 5. Once Steve completed his list, Warren then asked him to review each item and circle the top five that were most important to him. The ones he wanted more than anything. Steve was hesitant because, to him, they were all massively important. After all, that’s why he wrote them down. But Warren insisted that he could only pick five. So Steve spent some time with his list and after some deliberation, made five circles. “Are you sure these are the absolute highest priority for you?” Warren asked. Steve confidently replied the affirmative.
3. Make your Top 5 Plan. Warren now asked Steve when he planned to get to work on these top 5 and what his approach would be. They spent the next while discussing Steve’s plan. Steve explained “Warren, these are the most important things in my life right now. I’m going to get to work on them right away. I’ll start tomorrow. Actually, no, I’ll start tonight.” Steve went on to explain his plan, who he would enlist to help him, and by when all these items would get done. Warren was starting to get excited. With any luck, he would be out of a pilot within weeks…
4. Marry your priorities. Once the Top 5 planning session was over, Warren then asked, “but what about these other 20 things on your list that you didn’t circle? What is your plan for completing those?” Steve replied confidently, “Well the top five are my primary focus, but the other twenty come in at a close second. They are still important, so I’ll work on those intermittently as I see fit as I’m getting through my top 5. They are not as urgent but I still plan to give them dedicated effort.” To Steve’s surprise, Warren responded sternly, “No. You’ve got it wrong, Steve. Everything you didn’t circle just became your ‘avoid at all cost list’. No matter what, these things get no attention from you until you’ve succeeded with your top 5.”
5. Know your ‘Avoid at all Cost List‘ and stick to it. Warren makes a powerful and somewhat unconventional point here. Most people would suggest ranking their second most important items just below their first. Makes sense at first, but as it turns out, this is the type of behavior that creates some of the most detrimental distractions in making big things happen.
I love the concept of the ‘avoid-at-all-cost’ list and, as of right-this-very-second, I am incorporating it into my life. I think it’s a great idea and another tool for focus, concentration, and success.
By having an ‘avoid-at-all-costs’ list, your mind will not be distracted by the priorities in that list. It’s as if you put them in a vault and forget about them. You can’t get them out until the other ones are done, so you will not spend precious mental energy thinking about those things that are not your immediate focus. Brilliant!
Do you like the concept of the ‘avoid-at-all-costs’ list as much as I do? Let me know in the comments here.
ACTION
TODAY: Set up some time in your calendar to follow Buffet’s 5 steps and create a plan to achieve your goals.
FUTURE: Once you have your plan, focus, focus, and focus on your top 5 priorities. That laser-like aim will enable you to devote all your energy to your top 5 goals and crush them!
Know anybody who could use this 5-step process to prioritize? Please share this post via Email, Facebook or Twitter.
