In yesterday’s post and video, A.J. Jacobs told us how his gratitude journey had started and he shared some of the most important findings on the science behind gratitude. Expanding a bit on that, in Thanks a Thousand, he mentions, “gratitude is the single best predictor of well-being, and good relationships, beating out twenty-four other impressive traits such as hope, love, and creativity.”
Seeing this, it behooves us to learn how we can be more grateful to reap all these benefits.
Where should we start? Check out today’s video below (3:48 min) to see A.J.’s suggestions and tips on how to be grateful.
First, he points out the importance of being aware and noticing. The background for this tip comes from the book, where he explains that according to evolutionary psychologists, “All humans are genetically programmed to pay attention to what goes wrong [because] in Paleolithic times, it had survival value.” A.J. says, “Your one-thousandth great-grandparents needed to be damn sure they remembered which mushroom was poisonous.”
The result of this negative bias, nowadays, is that, “we are awash in modern-day anxiety. We often see our lives as problem after problem, crisis after crisis [and] many of us live in what some psychologists call the ‘deficit’ mind-set, not the ‘surplus’ mind-set.” As a consequence, “we spend far too much time fretting about what we’re missing instead of focusing on what we have.”
How to revert this? It’s simple. Notice the things around you. A.J. explains this on the video. He also shares a life hack for falling asleep in gratitude, and finally explains the transformative power of being grateful for all those things that we take for granted.
Enjoy!
ACTION
TODAY: When you go to bed tonight, don’t count sheep. Do the exercise that A.J. shares and you’ll fall asleep with a smile!
FUTURE: Start a new gratitude ritual: on a daily basis, make a point of noticing one thing that you would otherwise take for granted. Think of the many benefits you receive from it. You’ll be grateful instantly!
Know someone who would love any of these tips? Please share this post! Email, Facebook or Twitter.
In yesterday’s post, we saw three habits of generosity that author and leadership guru, John C. Maxwell, suggests we develop to be more effective leaders. Today we’ll talk about one more habit, as well as specific actions we can take to improve our generosity and add value to others’ lives.
Develop the habit of giving. In 1889, Andrew Carnegie wrote, “The life of a wealthy person should have two periods: a time of acquiring wealth and [a time of] redistributing it.” Maxwell agrees with this point of view and says, “The only way to maintain an attitude of generosity is to make it your habit to give—your time, attention, money, and resources.”
Tomorrow we celebrate Thanksgiving in the U.S. And as we reflect on the upcoming season of gratitude and generosity, here are a few questions that Maxwell poses to make us think about our generosity as leaders:
Are you a generous leader?
Do you continually look for ways to add value to others?
Are you giving money to something greater than yourself?
And to whom are you giving your time?
Are you pouring your life into others?
Are you helping those who cannot help you or give anything in return?
A few years back I heard the concept of the three Ts:Time, Treasure (money, material possessions), and Talent (wisdom, knowledge, expertise, advice, help). While it would be fantastic if we could give something from all those three areas, think of giving, at least, from one of them (time, money, or knowledge/help). Research suggests that making generosity a regular habit may influence long-term wellbeing and happiness, so there’s a clear win-win for both the giver and the receiver.
At this point, you are probably wondering if there’s any way of improving your generosity. Maxwell offers the following three things that you can do to add value to others:
Give something away. “Find out what kind of hold your possessions have on you. Take something you truly value, think of someone you care about who could benefit from it, and give it to [him/her]. If you can do it anonymously, even better.”
Put your money to work. “If you know someone with the vision to do something really great—something that will positively impact the lives of others—provide resources for [him/her] to accomplish it. Put your money to work for something that will outlive you.”
Find someone to mentor. “Once you reach a certain level in your leadership, the most valuable thing you have to give is yourself. Find someone to pour your life into. Then give [him/her] time and resources to become a better leader.”
To be generous you don’t have to be a billionaire, simply start where you are and give of what you have. Sow seeds of generosity on fertile soil, and they will take root and provide value now and many times over in the future as they are replanted and harvested by others.
If you celebrate Thanksgiving tomorrow, I hope you will join me in this new lovely tradition that one of my favorite authors, Seth Godin, started: The Thanksgiving Reader. It’s been used by more than 100,000 people to date. And because I want even more people using it around the world, whether for Thanksgiving or for the upcoming Holiday Season, my sister and I translated it into Spanish (with Seth’s permission, of course) and you can download it here: The Thanksgiving Reader-ESPAÑOL.
ACTION
TODAY: Give some thought to improving your generosity by giving something away, putting your money to work, and/or finding someone to mentor. Alternatively, create your own “Project Generosity” with a specific goal and outline the steps you need to make it happen in a near future.
FUTURE: Put into action the thoughts from today. What steps do you need to take to accomplish the generous actions or improvements that you thought of? Whose generosity and help can you count on to make it happen? Don’t hesitate to do something bigger than yourself, simply consider doing it along with someone else: you’ll build a lovely experience and memory together.
Know someone who is very generous? Please share this post with that person. Thank you! Email, Facebook or Twitter.
“True generosity isn’t an occasional event,” he points out. “It comes from the heart and permeates every aspect of a leader’s life, touching his time, money, talents and possessions.”
Further, the author states that leaders don’t gather things just for themselves. Instead, they do it with the intention of sharing those things or giving them to others.
An effective leader, in Maxwell’s words, is someone that people want to follow. And one of the qualities of effective leaders is generosity.
So, how can we cultivate generosity to be an effective (or a more effective) leader?
Here are the habits that the author suggests we develop and nurture:
Be grateful for whatever you have. “It’s hard for a person to be generous when he’s not satisfied with what he has. Generosity rises out of contentment, and that doesn’t come with acquiring more.”
Maxwell shares a quote from one of the richest men in history, John D. Rockefeller, who said, “I have made millions, but they have brought me no happiness.” To which Maxwell replies, “If you’re not content with little, you won’t be content with a lot. And if you’re not generous with little, you won’t suddenly change if you become wealthy.”
Put people first. “The measure of a leader is not the number of people who serve him, but the number of people he serves. Generosity requires putting others first. If you can do that, giving becomes much easier.”
Don’t allow the desire for possessions to control you. Maxwell quotes a friend of his who says that people are divided into three groups: “Haves, have-nots, and have not paid for what they have.” The author points out that a growing number of people are “becoming enslaved to the desire to acquire.” This obsession comes out of a false illusion of control (owning) and the anticipated happiness that people hope the purchase will bring.
Happiness, as we know, comes from within. So, Maxwell says, “If you want to be in charge of your heart, don’t allow possessions to take charge of you.”
Regard money as a resource. Maxwell shares with us the unfortunate, yet popular view that when it comes to money, you can’t win. “If you focus on making it, you’re materialistic. If you try to but don’t make any, you’re a loser. If you make a lot and keep it, you’re a miser. If you make it and spend it, you’re a spendthrift. If you don’t care about making any, you’re unambitious. If you make a lot and still have it when you die, you’re a fool—for trying to take it with you.”
Fortunately, we don’t have to see money that way. There is, indeed, a way to win with money: “hold it loosely—and be generous with it to accomplish things of value.”
“Money is a wonderful servant, but a terrible master. If it gets on top and you get under it, you will become its slave.” – E. Stanley Jones
Come back tomorrow for Part 2 where we will continue looking at habits to develop and practical ways to improve our generosity as a leader.
In the meantime let me know in the comments here: Who has done something generous for you lately?
And I’ll share my answer to that question with you: I am grateful for the generosity of my friend Andre Piazza, co-host of Octanage Podcast, for having me on his show this week. The podcast shares the life and success of entrepreneurs in Brazil and, thus, it’s in Portuguese. Yet since it’s been years that I don’t speak it, I’ve forgotten most of it, so Andre kindly allowed me to speak in Spanish instead. The result? An awesome bilingual podcast where we had a ton of fun! 🙂 If you understand either Portuguese or Spanish you’ll be able to follow along. Check it out!
ACTION
TODAY: Think about what generosity means to you. Who has done something generous for you? How can you pay it forward in the same way or differently?
FUTURE:John Bunyan wrote “You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who can never repay you.” What can you do for someone who can never repay you?
In the spirit of generosity, please share this post with someone who has shared something of value with you. Thank you! Email, Facebook or Twitter.
Walt Disney came up with his business vision after taking his two daughters to an amusement park. In there, he was captivated by the carousel. However, when it came to a stop, “he observed shabby horses with cracked and chipped paint. And he noticed that only the horses on the outside row moved up and down. The others stood lifeless bolted to the floor.”
This disappointment is what inspired him to create his business vision of “an amusement park where the illusion didn’t evaporate, where children and adults could enjoy a carnival atmosphere without the seedy side that accompanies some circuses or traveling carnivals.” From there, Disneyland was born and the rest is history.
As a leader, it is very important that you, too, create your business vision.John Maxwell, leadership guru and author of Leadership 101, says, “Vision leads the leader. It paints the target. It sparks and fuels the fire within, and draws him forward. It is also the fire lighter for others who follow that leader.”
To create a successful business vision, keep in mind the following points:
Vision starts within. “You can’t buy, beg, or borrow vision. It has to come from the inside… If you lack vision, look inside yourself. Draw on your natural gifts and desires. Look to your calling if you have one.”
The author says that, as you look within for your vision, you must listen to several voices:
The inner voice. “Do you know your life’s mission? What stirs your heart? What do you dream about? If what you’re pursuing doesn’t come from a desire within—from the very depths of who you are and what you believe—you will not be able to accomplish it.”
The unhappy voice. “Discontent with the status quo is a great catalyst for vision. Are you on complacent cruise control? Or do you find yourself itching to change your world?”
The successful voice. “Nobody can accomplish great things alone. To fulfill a big vision, you need a good team. But you also need good advice from someone who is ahead of you in the leadership journey. If you want to lead others to greatness, find a mentor. Do you have an adviser who can help you sharpen your vision?”
And this last voice is essential if you’re having a hard time coming up with a vision of your own. Maxwell suggests hooking up with a leader whose vision resonates with you. If you can’t come up with your vision yet, but you are in alignment with someone else’s vision, perhaps, for the time being, the best thing you can do is to help out and learn as much as you can from this other leader. That way, when you have created your own business vision, you will know how to execute.
Vision draws on your history. “Vision isn’t some mystical quality that comes out of a vacuum, as some people seem to believe. It grows from a leader’s past and the history of the people around him.” Look at the story of Disney and many other leaders; it was connecting the dots of past events to their present capabilities that lead them to create their vision.
Vision meets others’ needs. “True vision is far-reaching. It goes beyond what one individual can accomplish. And if it has real value, it does more than just include others; it adds value to them. If you have a vision that doesn’t serve others, it’s probably too small.”
Run your vision by a small group of trusted friends and ask for their feedback. They will come up with ideas and twists that would have never occurred to you. Take what works and discard the rest, and you will be able to broaden your vision to add more value to those whom you will serve.
Vision helps you gather resources. “One of the most valuable benefits of vision is that it acts like a magnet—attracting, challenging, and uniting people. It also rallies finances and other resources. The greater the vision, the more winners it has the potential to attract. The more challenging the vision, the harder the participants fight to achieve it.”
ACTION
TODAY: Do you have a business vision? This can indeed mean that you are starting a business, but not necessarily. It means that you have a vision for yourself in business, whichever path you decide to follow, whether your own, or as an employee for a company whose business vision resonates with you. If you don’t have one, give some thought to the points above and create one. Remember this awesome quote by Rosabeth Moss Kanter: “A vision is not just a picture of what could be; it is an appeal to our better selves, a call to become something more.”
FUTURE: As you grow in life and business, make a point of revising your vision from time to time. Your vision must be exciting and relevant to the stage you’re in, and it’s also important to make sure it continues to lead you to where you want to go.
As we get closer to Thanksgiving here in the U.S., I’ve been seeing more and more offers from retailers who have started their Black Friday sales early this year.
Thinking how much people like to buy stuff, I was surprised recently when I read, “people derive more happiness from new experiences—a day by the sea, a night at the opera—than from new things.”
It makes perfect sense in light of the fact that “the pleasure of a new object diminishes over time (as every child knows on December 26), while the pleasure of experience grows (as every adult knows, enjoying those warm holiday memories).”
So, knowing this, how can we create great customer service and a memorable experience, no matter how big or small a product or service we sell?
The answer for designing great service that is delivered expertly, according to Thomas A. Stewart and Patricia O’Connell, authors of Woo, Wow and Win, is to find “alignment among your strategic goals, your customer’s wants and needs, and what actually happens between you.”
And that alignment is a function of the following 10 E’s working together:
1. Empathy: “Developing products, services and experiences from the customer’s point of view; taking full account of how your customers use and interact with you.”
2. Expectation: “Ensuring that customers know what to expect from their interaction with you.”
3. Emotion: “Knowing the emotions your customer brings to your relationship, and guiding customers to a satisfied feeling about working with you.”
4. Elegance: “Providing offers that are clean, simple, easy to work with, and complete—nothing superfluous, nothing omitted.”
5. Engagement: “Communicating with customers—and they with you—at every point of contact, to understand their experience and how to improve it.”
6. Execution: “Reliably meeting all the expectations you have set.”
7. Engineering: “Possessing technical excellence (for example, compared to peers, but also general business standards) and eliminating waste of materials, time and effort, so that no extraneous effort is necessary on the part of you or your customer.”
8. Economics: “Pricing your services appropriately, so that the customer gets value for money and you the profit you expect.”
9. Experimentation: “Building processes for improvement and innovation into the daily work of your business; developing capabilities to develop and roll out new offerings.”
10. Equivalence: “Managing the customer, your team, and partner organizations so that you, the seller/service provider, are satisfied too.”
As you can see, the first five Es are focused on the customer’s side of the equation, and the last five ones are focused mostly on you.
These elements come together to create a system to build great customer service. But, “To what end?” the authors asked an expert in service design.
The answer?
Relationships. The goal of great customer service is to build a relationship with the customer; otherwise it’s merely a transaction.
“It is difficult to think of a transaction between a buyer and a seller that cannot be made more valuable to both parties by adding at least the possibility of a relationship beyond the transaction itself.”
What’s an instance of great customer service that you have received where you were happy to create a relationship with the seller? Please let me know here in the comments, I always love to hear these kinds of stories!
ACTION
TODAY: Think of the role you play in selling your products/services. How many Es can you apply toward creating great customer service in your business?
FUTURE: Study the customer’s journey and look at every touch point. What kind of relationship would you want to build (or strengthen) with your customers?
Want to build great customer service? Please share this post with your colleagues so that all of you can be in alignment: Email, Facebook or Twitter.
I’ve always enjoyed Seth Godin’s definition of remarkable: in a nutshell, something to make a remark about.
And as I was looking for that specific quote for a project of mine, I came across this great post and news article that Godin posted over a decade ago, that is as valid today as it was back then.
I’ll leave the whole piece below for you. Enjoy it – it’s remarkable! 😉
How to be remarkable
You’re either boring or you stand out. You’re either invisible or remarkable. And, all your life, everyone has been pushing you to fit in. All your life you’re told to keep your head down, work hard, don’t make waves and get it done. What rubbish. Here, in 10 easy steps, is how to grow. How to stand out. How to get noticed, make a difference and have a shot at the big time.
1.Understand the urgency of the situation. Half-measures simply won’t do. The only way to grow is to abandon your strategy of doing what you did yesterday, but better. Commit.
2.Remarkable doesn’t mean remarkable to you. It means remarkable to me. Am I going to make a remark about it? If not, then you’re average, and average is for losers.
3. Being noticed is not the same as being remarkable. Running down the street naked will get you noticed, but it won’t accomplish much. It’s easy to pull off a stunt, but not useful.
4. Extremism in the pursuit of remarkability is no sin. In fact, it’s practically a requirement. People in first place, those considered the best in the world, these are the folks that get what they want. Rock stars have groupies because they’re stars, not because they’re good looking.
5. Remarkability lies in the edges. The biggest, fastest, slowest, richest, easiest, most difficult. It doesn’t always matter which edge, more that you’re at (or beyond) the edge.
6. Not everyone appreciates your efforts to be remarkable. In fact, most people don’t. So what? Most people are ostriches, heads in the sand, unable to help you anyway. Your goal isn’t to please everyone. Your goal is to please those that actually speak up, spread the word, buy new things or hire the talented.
7. If it’s in a manual, if it’s the accepted wisdom, if you can find it in a Dummies book, then guess what? It’s boring, not remarkable. Part of what it takes to do something remarkable is to do something first and best. Roger Bannister was remarkable. The next guy, the guy who broke Bannister’s record wasn’t. He was just faster … but it doesn’t matter.
8. It’s not really as frightening as it seems. They keep the masses in line by threatening them (us) with all manner of horrible outcomes if we dare to step out of line. But who loses their jobs at the mass layoffs? Who has trouble finding a new gig? Not the remarkable minority, that’s for sure.
9. If you put it on a T-shirt, would people wear it? No use being remarkable at something that people don’t care about. Not ALL people, mind you, just a few. A few people insanely focused on what you do is far far better than thousands of people who might be mildly interested, right?
10. What’s fashionable soon becomes unfashionable. While you might be remarkable for a time, if you don’t reinvest and reinvent, you won’t be for long. Instead of resting on your laurels, you must commit to being remarkable again quite soon.
“But wait!” I hear you say. “My boss won’t let me. I want to do something great, but she won’t let me.”
This is, of course, nonsense. Your boss won’t let you because what you’re really asking is: “May I do something silly and fun and, if it doesn’t work, will you take the blame – but if it does work, I get the credit?” What would you say to an offer like that?
The alternative sounds scary, but I don’t think it is. The alternative is to just be remarkable. Go all the way to the edge. Not in a big thing, perhaps, but in a little one. Find some area where you have a tiny bit of authority and run with it. After you succeed, you’ll discover you’ve got more leeway for next time. And if you fail? Don’t worry. Your organisation secretly wants employees willing to push hard even if it means failing every so often.
And when? When should you start being remarkable? How’s this: if you don’t start tomorrow, you’re not really serious. Tomorrow night by midnight or don’t bother. You’re too talented to sit around waiting for the perfect moment. Go start.
ACTION
TODAY: Start today at being remarkable! Start small, where you are and with what you have.
FUTURE: Keep this tip sheet handy and frequently refer to it. Start the habit of becoming remarkable in little things first, as Godin suggests, and then run with larger projects! Rinse and repeat.
Know someone who is remarkable? Please share this post with them! Email, Facebook or Twitter.
TODAY’S IDEA: A.J. Jacobs on Gratitude – Part 2
