The stories that illustrate the points in the book are incredible lessons of courage, hope, and determination in the face of the worst possible adversity and difficulty—both physical and emotional—that anyone can muster. Whether you serve in uniform or not, the lessons apply to all of us, regardless of our path in life.
The first lesson is wonderful. It’s simply this: make your bed every morning. It’s the importance of starting the day with a task completed. Instead of telling you the story, I will let McRaven’s words tell it to you directly, as I’m quoting his speech verbatim.
Every morning in basic SEAL training, my instructors, who at the time were all Vietnam veterans, would show up in my barracks room and the first thing they would inspect was your bed. If you did it right, the corners would be square, the covers pulled tight, the pillow centered just under the headboard and the extra blanket folded neatly at the foot of the rack — that’s Navy talk for bed.
It was a simple task — mundane at best. But every morning we were required to make our bed to perfection. It seemed a little ridiculous at the time, particularly in light of the fact that were aspiring to be real warriors, tough battle-hardened SEALs, but the wisdom of this simple act has been proven to me many times over.
If you make your bed every morning you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride, and it will encourage you to do another task and another and another. By the end of the day, that one task completed will have turned into many tasks completed. Making your bed will also reinforce the fact that little things in life matter. If you can’t do the little things right, you will never do the big things right.
And, if by chance you have a miserable day, you will come home to a bed that is made — that you made — and a made bed gives you encouragement that tomorrow will be better.
If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed.
Here’s the video of the commencement speech. The bed-making story starts at the 4:37 minute mark, but it’s well worth watching the whole 20 min if you have the time. If you prefer to read the speech you can do so here.
ACTION
TODAY: Make your bed. Years ago I heard someone say, “How you do one thing is how you do everything,” and that has stayed with me throughout the years. It echoes what McRaven says: If you can’t do the little things right, you will never do the big things right.
FUTURE: The habit and discipline of making your bed is illustrative of building a solid foundation. Only by starting with small things you get to the big things. Zig Ziglar said it well: “You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.” So start today by making your bed, and keep making it every day. And along that path, build the habits that will take you towards the greatness that you seek and the change you want to make in the world.
Know someone who needs to make their bed? Please share this post with that person: you can do so via email, Facebook or Twitter, thank you!
Do you remember Jack Mitchell talking about hugging as a mindset? Jack is the chairman of the Mitchell’s stores and a renowned personality in the field of extraordinary customer service. His second book, Hug Your People, talks about creating a Niceness Culture to inspire, empower, recognize and reward associates.
We’ve all heard that we shouldn’t mix business with pleasure. Mitchell says that the opposite is true, “Work and fun shouldn’t be considered antonyms. We think of them as synonyms.” And he points out that, “Scientists have discovered how quickly we adopt the emotional state of those around us by measuring the physiology, heart rate, blood pressure, skin temperature, etc., of two people sharing a conversation. As the conversation gets started, the vital signs of the two bodies are different. But after fifteen minutes, the physiological profiles of the two bodies become very similar.”
This point is incredibly important because “one associate’s happiness becomes the other associate’s happiness.” Mitchell says that in many companies, people feel guilty if they’re having a good time. It goes like this: “associates are chuckling over something when the big boss arrives and everyone immediately adopts a somber face and scurries to their desk to look like they’re ‘working.’ ”
When you have a Niceness Culture and this scenario happens, the boss joins in the laughter. Mitchell continues, “we want people to bring their real selves to work, not some artificial ‘business self.’ ” And he practices what he preaches: he joins in the laughter, the dancing, the singing and the overall cheering. But it doesn’t stop there.
Mitchell makes a point of fostering the fun in all he and his associates do. He will close the store for an evening and invite the associates to play poker. Or he will take all associates bowling. And he will also do it in smaller ways: at meetings he’ll ask everyone to think of positive words that start with a letter, write them down and share them in his CEO letter that goes out to everyone. Or some of his associates will kick off meetings by asking questions like, “What is one word that describes you?” Or “If your great-aunt died and left you more money than Bill Gates, what would you do with it?”
The sky is the limit in terms of what small or big actions you can take to have fun yourself and make your team have fun too. You can even start your own holidays! Work is such an important part of our lives that we should do something that we like and enjoy it fully!
“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” George Bernard Shaw
ACTION
TODAY: How can you imbue some fun in the things you do? Think of small and big ways to do it. Can you record a fun message in your voice mail so that every caller that goes to voice mail gets a chuckle? Can you start a meeting in a fun way, such as “tell us something few people know about you” and then go around the room? Can you plan to go bowling or plan an ice-skating escapade during winter? Your imagination will lead you to come up with many fun ways to spice up your work and your business culture.
FUTURE: Commit to have more fun from now on. Think about fun “traditions” that you can establish either at work or at home, or both. Could you do an annual picnic? I once went to a “picnic” held at an office conference room where the organizers had set a red and white checkered table cloth and had sprinkled plastic ants all over it. It really was a fun touch and everyone had fun with the ants! One of my favorite invented “traditions” with my family in Spain—since we see each other once a year—is to celebrate all birthdays at the same time by adding the amount of years we will turn or have turned that year. Thus, last year we celebrated our 599 birthday! (Below is the picture of our cake). Could you do something similar at work, perhaps on a monthly basis? For example, “the September babies are turning 349 this year!” Think of fun and creative ways to celebrate and enjoy life.
Know someone who could use more fun in his or her life? Send this post to that person! You can do so via email, Facebook or Twitter, thanks!
We’ve all heard the adage it’s better to give than to receive. We bought into it and became givers—which is wonderful—but we also became very bad receivers. T. Harv Eker, personal development guru and author of Secrets of the Millionaire Mind says, “The whole idea is ludicrous. What’s better, hot or cold, big or small, left or right, in or out? Giving and receiving are two sides of the same coin. Whoever decided that it is better to give than to receive was simply bad at math. For every giver there must be a receiver, and for every receiver there must be a giver. […] Both have to be in perfect balance to work one to one, fifty-fifty. And since giving and receiving must always equal each other, they must also be equal in importance.”
Giving gives us a feeling of fulfillment like no other. We’re joyful and grateful to be able to give. But what about when we are trying to give and the other person refuses to receive? It feels terrible, doesn’t it? Now, think about those times when we are the ones that are not willing to receive.
How many times have we refused to receive something that someone wants to give us? Or taken a step further, how many times have we refused to receive something that we want to give ourselves? How many times have we said no to an opportunity and refused it because we feel we’re undeserving, not worthy, or because we have impostor syndrome? This may very well be at the subconscious level, but if you’ve ever done something to sabotage your success in big or small ways (I’m not proud to say that I’m a repeat offender in this department…) you know what I’m talking about.
Think about it for a moment. There’s a part of you that feels worthy of some things (eating, working, driving); and there’s another that doesn’t (when someone wants to give you a gift or an opportunity that is bigger than what you consider acceptable). You are living with this duality that you made up in your mind.
Eker says, “Recognize that whether you are worthy or not it’s all a made-up ‘story.’ Nothing has meaning except for the meaning we give it. […] If you say you’re worthy, you are. If you say you’re not worthy, you’re not. Either way you will live into your story. […] Only the most evolved creature on the planet, the human being, has the ability to limit itself like this. One of my own sayings is, ‘If a hundred-foot oak tree had the mind of the human, it would only grow to be ten feet tall!’ So here’s my suggestion: since it’s a lot easier to change your story than your worthiness, instead of worrying about changing your worthiness change your story. It’s a lot faster and cheaper. Simply make up a new and much more supportive story and live into that.”
How about if the new story you adopt is that of being happy and grateful to receive; willing to enjoy and make the most out of the gift; and share the joy of receiving so that others can learn to be better receivers too?
ACTION
TODAY: Give yourself a gift that in the past you wouldn’t even have considered. You can buy something if you want, but if you don’t, it doesn’t have to be a physical thing. It could be taking time from your busy schedule to walk in nature, or taking a long, contemplative bath, or giving yourself a free evening and not cleaning the kitchen tonight (hahahaha) and using that time to read your favorite book instead. You can take it up a notch and give yourself the opportunity to get to know someone: go to lunch with a colleague and don’t talk about work. Send an email to a person you admire. You’re only limited by your imagination, so make it a lovely-and-unheard-of gift from you to you. Enjoy it, no guilt, no afterthought, no remorse, just plain acceptance and gratitude. Try it!
FUTURE: Keep in mind that giving and receiving is 50-50. So, when someone wants to give you something (from a compliment to a large gift), be open to receive it and be grateful. Gifts aren’t earned otherwise they’d be called compensation. They come from the heart, and the giver always thinks that you are worthy of the gift, so it’s just you the one who needs to change your story to be a better a receiver. Change it and enjoy receiving!
Know someone who needs to learn to receive? Please share this post with that person via email, Facebook or Twitter!
The business world is peppered with quotes and slogans to never give up and never quit. When I wrote about Selective quitting from Chris Guillebeau’s book Born For This, the post highlighted how to quit projects or courses of action that were not in our best interest. In today’s idea, from Seth Godin’s The Dip, we’ll take a look at when to quit and when to stick.
Godin explains that “Most people will tell you that you that you need to persevere—to try harder, put in more hours, get more training, and work hard. ‘Don’t quit!’ they implore. But if all you need to do to succeed is not quit, then why do organizations less motivated than yours succeed? Why do individuals less talented than you win? It involves understanding the architecture of quitting, and, believe it or not, it means quitting a lot more than you do now.”
The author continues, “Strategic quitting is the secret of successful organizations [and individuals]. Reactive quitting and serial quitting are the bane of those that strive (and fail) to get what they want. And most people do just that. They quit when it’s painful and stick when they can’t be bothered to quit. […] Understanding the different types of situations that lead you to quit—or that should cause you to quit—is the first step toward getting what you want.”
Godin shares two curves that define virtually all situations that we face. Understanding them is the basis for success.
CURVE 1: THE CUL-DE-SAC
Cul-de-sac means dead end in French. We’ve all seen it and experienced it: “It’s a situation where you work and you work and you work and nothing much changes. It doesn’t get a lot better, it doesn’t get a lot worse. It just is.” And there’s not much to say about the cul-de-sac other than when you find yourself in it, you need to get out of it as fast as you can. “A dead end is keeping you from doing something else. The opportunity cost of investing your life in something that’s not going to get better is just too high.”
CURVE 2: THE DIP
Image courtesy of Seth Godin.
When you first start something there’s a fantastic rush of energy and excitement: you’re learning by leaps and bounds and making much progress. This growth and rapid learning keeps you going over the ensuing days or months. And then you fall into the Dip.
“The Dip is the long slog between starting and mastery… the long stretch between beginner’s luck and accomplishment… [but it’s] actually a shortcut, because it gets you where you want to go faster than any other path.” Those that stick through the Dip and make it to the other side come out victorious, because “almost everything in life worth doing is controlled by the Dip.”
The important thing to keep in mind is that “just because you know you’re in the Dip doesn’t mean you have to live happily with it. Dips don’t last quite as long when you whittle at them.”
The things or skills that we most value are scarce. Without the Dip, scarcity—and thus value—wouldn’t exist. “What’s hard is getting there… there’s a huge Dip along the way.” If it were easy, everyone would be there already. That’s why “the people who invest the time and the energy and the effort to power through the Dip… are the ones who become the best in the world.”
To sum up, Godin gives the following wise advice: “Stick with The Dips that are likely to pan out, and quit the Cul-de-Sacs to focus your resources. That’s it.”
Both Seth Godin and The Dip were mentioned recently in the Billions TV series on Showtime. Here’s the video clip. (Courtesy of Seth Godin. Note: strong/uncensored language). And I’m absolutely thrilled and very proud that, today, Seth Godin—whose mind and writings I’ve long admired, and who I have the honor and joy of calling a friend—is being inducted into the Marketing Hall of Fame.SUPERCONGRATS SETH!! For these and billions of other reasons, you are indeed on the other side of the Dip as the best in the world: well deserved and hats off!
ACTION
TODAY: Are there any cul-de-sacs among your current life or business projects that you need to quit? Are you experiencing any Dips? Take a moment to think about your future and the goals you want to achieve. And then determine the best course of action for you.
FUTURE: As you periodically examine your goals, quit the cul-de-sacs to free up energy and resources as well as to make valuable room for other endeavors. When you find yourself in a Dip, remember that you don’t have to like it or enjoy it, but you can certainly push through it to get to the other side, and once you’re there, the effort will have been worthwhile.
Know someone who is in a cul-de-sac and needs to quit? Or someone who is in a Dip and needs encouragement to keep at it? Share this post via email, Facebook or Twitter!
Jack Mitchell is the Chairman of the Mitchell Stores. These high-end apparel boutiques provide such exceptional customer service, that Mitchell Stores is a case study at Harvard Business School.
What makes Jack Mitchell and his stores so special? The fact that they hug their customers. Mitchell says, “In some instances, we physically hug the customers—I’ve seen sales associates actually give customers a bear hug and then dance with them around the floor—but we mainly metaphorically hug them by showering them with attention in a way that every business ought to but doesn’t. […] That’s what Mitchell’s is about: making people say ‘Wow!’ ” And it’s true, I kept thinking wow! many times as I read through Hug Your Customers.
Mitchell defines hugging “as a mindset more than a physical act. It’s a way of thinking about customers… in the simplest sense, a hug is anything that exceeds a customer’s expectations.” For instance, Mitchell recalls a time when the new Chief Financial Officer of a large corporation went into his store. He (Mitchell) greeted him and congratulated him on his company’s stock rising $5 the previous day. Needless to say, the CFO was blown away. That’s what he means by a metaphoric hug.
And just as clothing, hugs come in all sizes: one time Mitchell flew a suit on a corporate jet to Tokyo for the son of a customer who needed it the next day. He also recalls lending his very own top coat to a customer who needed it right away (and happened to be the same size) while the customer’s coat arrived two days later. And at another point a customer brought in a dress she had purchased at another luxury store to get it altered in a hurry, and they did it for her.
It’s important to highlight that everyone hugs differently, “and that’s the way it should be,” says Mitchell. “You adopt the hug that works for you and your customer… Some people are comfortable giving a bear hug. Others recoil at anything too physical. That’s fine. Those people like to shake hands, or give a high five, or look you in the eye, or send personal notes.”
Mitchell states that one of the best hugs is a letter of thanks, and it’s a bonus hug if it’s handwritten or if you handwrite a note on the side of a typed letter. As an exercise, he once sat down to write a list of different hugs and got to 33 before his hand started cramping. I suggest you do the same for your customers or clients. What can you do for them that will create that wow! response? I’m adding below some of the hugs in Mitchell’s list hoping they will spark some ideas in you (some of them won’t apply to your business, but think about equivalents that work for you).
Offer someone a beverage or snack
Carry their bags to the car
Send a birthday card
Send an anniversary card
Remember names
Sew on a button
Press pants
Call when you say you will
Send flowers on a holiday
Send flowers after a big sale
Call and invite to lunch at the store
Make reservations for someone at an exclusive restaurant
Get tickets to a ball game or the theater
Open the store after hours for private appointments
Have a liberal return policy that allows you to give money back with a smile
Call another store to get something you don’t have
Show product knowledge
Smile
Resolve credit issues instantly
Give a firm handshake
Look a customer in the eye as a friend who cares
Exchange business cards
Telephone someone who’s sick to show you care
Send an email (especially to people who travel internationally)
Listen
Happy hugging!
ACTION
TODAY: Make a list of the ways in which you can hug your customers. You’ll be surprised as to the difference that even small details can make!
FUTURE: Adopt the hugging mindset. Keep your list of hugs handy and keep adding to it. Get together with your team and brainwrite ways in which you can hug your customers more and more often. Determine which hugs you can turn into policies so as to serve your clients better and offer an exceptional experience.
Know someone who needs a hug? Send this post to that person! You can do so via email, Facebook or Twitter, thanks!
TODAY’S IDEA: 9 Lessons I learned from my mom about leadership and business
Happy Mother’s Day!
From a very young age, mothers teach us many of the most important lessons that we will need in life, and also in business. As we grow up, our mothers are our leaders, and we look up to them to learn and emulate. It’s only fitting that today we thank them for everything they’ve taught us and everything they’ve done for us. As a tribute to my mom, whom I love and adore, here are 9 of the myriad lessons she’s taught me and how I use them today for leadership and business.
1. “Always take a sweater,” and “always pack a bathing suit.”
No matter how well informed you are up front, always plan for the unforeseen, best- and worst-case scenarios.
2. “Always say please and thank you.”
Common courtesy goes a very long way anywhere you go.
3. “Don’t do good things that can be perceived as being bad.”
As a leader, the only things you have are your name and your reputation. Protect them. Don’t hang out with the wrong crowd, even if you’re just trying to be nice. When they do crazy stuff, it won’t matter if you didn’t do anything, you’ll be guilty by association.
4. “Take care of yourself, you only have one body.”
YOU are the most important thing you have. Take proper care of yourself: your health and your wellbeing are first and foremost, always.
5. “If your trip is going to be a whirlwind and you don’t know what the schedule will be like, go to the bathroom when you can, and eat when you can—even if it’s not the time for it. And don’t forget to take with you water and snacks.” In the face of uncertainty, make sure you are well, and your basic needs are taken care of. Then you can tackle everything else.
6. “Think twice before giving away your toys.”
Once you give something away (from a beloved toy to equity in your company) it’s going to be very hard to get it back, if ever. Think twice before you give anything away that is precious to you, but when you do, do it gladly and fully convinced that you made the best decision.
7. “If a decision backfires, don’t blame yourself. Know that you made it with all the information you had at the moment and with the best intention in mind.”
Take your time before you make an important decision to deeply ponder all aspects of it. Ask for expert points of view, and use whatever is helpful from those opinions in forming yours. Make sure the decision is ultimately yours, and make it fully convinced that the course of action you choose is the best one for your circumstances. This is the best way to be OK with yourself and to solve things if something goes wrong or backfires. Only when you are OK with yourself can you move forward with a clear conscience and a focused mind.
8. “You can always change your mind.”
You are not bound to anything and you can always change your mind to make your circumstances better. Part of that change may involve anything from small tweaks (returning an item to the store), to big, bold and sometimes uncomfortable challenges (such as changing jobs, lifestyles, partners, getting out of a contract, etc.). Don’t ever feel stuck: there are always options for the better if you just give yourself the opportunity to search and ask for them.
9. “I’ll always be here for you.”
It’s so important to have someone in your life that you can always rely on and who is 100% dependable and trustworthy. Be that person for your loved ones. Be that person for your friends. Be that person for your team. Be that person for your clients. You will find that, in return, they’ll do the same for you and strong bonds will emerge. Cherish and celebrate those bonds.
ACTION
TODAY & FUTURE: Celebrate your mom, yourself if you are a mother, and other mothers around you—it’s the world’s toughest job! Check out this great (and funny) video below, and please share it via email, Facebook or Twitter, thanks!
TODAY’S IDEA: Make your bed
TODAY’S IDEA: 9 Lessons I learned from my mom about leadership and business