by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Creativity, Goals, Growth, Habits, Mindset, Miniseries, Planning, Resolutions, Tools, Wellbeing, Willpower
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 59 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Only 19% of People Keep Their New Year’s Resolutions. How Do They Do It?
–From Careful: A User’s Guide to Our Injury-Prone Minds by Steve Casner
In the past post we learned the things that do not work to keep our New Year’s resolutions alive: thinking that it’s just a matter or commitment or willpower, deluding ourselves with wishful thinking, and flooding our minds with negative thoughts.
In this post we will learn the things that work well to be among the 19% of folks who were successful in keeping their resolutions going after 2 years.
But don’t expect something grandiose accompanied with great fanfare. According to Steve Casner, author of Careful, “It’s the little stuff that matters.”
And I agree with him on this. If you look at our lives, they are made of moments, small moments and small actions that—when compounded—create the milestones and the successes that we envisioned as our goals.
So, what are these small things, you ask?
Social support. “[This] was named as a strong contributing factor by the successful 19%, especially after 6 months had gone by.” Social support usually takes the form of enrolling ourselves or other people with psychological contracts.
A psychological contract “is a promise to do this or not do that, with the exception that it isn’t written down.” These are very common. We may know them better as pinky swears or pinky promises. You promise to someone else that you will do something, and/or they promise you that they will do something, for instance, your best friend going with you to the gym every morning at 6 am.
You don’t have a written contract with your friend or with yourself, but the idea of your friend waiting for you at the gym in the morning makes you jump out of bed and get ready to go, instead of hitting the snooze button. These types of psychological contracts are nothing new. The key is that they are made not to be broken, and when there is a social bond they are much harder—if not almost impossible—to break.
“Apparently, when we promise someone that we are going to do something, it seems we are rather inclined to do it,” says Casner. So, go ahead and find a friend, and pinky swear over your goals.
The author also mentions an ingenious way to remind us to do/not do things: the nagging power of children. “Described as an awesome renewable resource… [we should] enlist our kids to become nagging machines programmed to keep their parents [resolutions].” So, if you have kids, enlist them to help you out, it will be very effective, albeit it may drive you a bit crazy…
Reminders. “The 19% who made it to the 2-year mark consistently reported that they used reminders, and they reported using them at every stage of their success. During the first week, after a month, after six months, after two years, they used reminders. Reminders can be little things left anywhere in your environment that prompt you [about your resolution]. You can even use reminders to help you remember pinky swears that you’ve made.”
Reminders can be anything: wearing one of those flat rubber bracelets with an inscription to remind you of your goals, tying a string, changing a ring or watch to the opposite hand, post it notes, an alarm on your phone… really, anything that helps you avoid deviating from your resolutions works!
Rewards. These were mentioned by the New Year’s resolvers as a very helpful tool as well, especially after the first few weeks and also after the two years had passed. Rewards can also be anything you want them to be, big or small, free or expensive… it all depends on you and the milestones you have to go through to reach your goals.
And finally, nothing like practice, practice, practice. Do what you need to do to accomplish your resolutions. Do it over, and over, and over again, until it becomes so ingrained that you don’t even think about it.
As you can see these things are rather simple, yet they are not easy, otherwise a much higher percentage of the New Year’s resolvers would fulfill their goals. Just remember what Casner said earlier: “It’s the little stuff that matters,” and keep focusing on taking one step at a time.
ACTION
TODAY: If you’ve given up on your resolutions, think about them again—it’s not too late. Find a friend to help you, or pinky swear over something. Set reminders and a schedule of rewards for every milestone you’ll go through. Then get started and practice, practice, practice.
FUTURE: These little things that help people stick to a goal are not exclusive to New Year’s resolutions—they work for any goal. Use them when you set goals to help you accomplish them.
Know someone who would like this post? Please share it via email, Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn, thank you!
by Helena Escalante | Goals, Mindset, Resolutions, Tools, Willpower
Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 34 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: Debunking Myths about New Year’s Resolutions
–From Careful: A User’s Guide to Our Injury-Prone Minds by Steve Casner
January is almost over… How are your New Year’s resolutions or goals coming along?
In his book Careful, author Steve Casner mentions John Norcross, a prominent psychologist at the University of Scranton, who conducted a study on New Year’s Resolutions. Norcross found the following: “Almost 30% of these commitments get dropped in the first week of the year. By the end of January 45% had fallen off the wagon. After 6 months, 60% had thrown in the towel, and after 2 years only 19% remained strong.”
And you’re probably wondering (I know I am!), What do we need to do to be among the 19% that remains successful after 2 years?
Casner will walk us through Norcross findings to understand what works. But before that happens, it’s important to explain what doesn’t work in order to debunk some myths and misconceptions.
Success is simply a matter of commitment. Not true. “Norcross points out that while readiness and commitment to change are an important first step, they alone are not enough to achieve long-term success for the kinds of things that typically appear in our New Year’s resolutions.”
Success is all about willpower. Not true.“[People] know about the highly disciplined types who can just utter a phrase like ‘From now on I will be more fit,” and then have six-pack abs until the day they die. And they get discouraged if they don’t feel they have that kind of willpower.”
In the study, participants who were among the 19% who kept their resolutions past the two-year mark, reported using a bit of willpower, but just at the beginning. “Once people made it past the first few months, they didn’t report willpower being a significant factor in their success.”
Wishful thinking. In here, Casner refers to deluding one’s self with wishful thinking that gets in the way of action. This, Norcross found out, “was an indicator that someone would soon be falling off the wagon.”
The opposite as well was true. Norcross found out that “negative thoughts, such as self-blame, were also hallmarks of those doomed to be among the 81%.”
So, what worked for the 19% who were successful? Stay tuned for the next post as we will see in detail what are the things that matter to the success of staying put through our resolutions and goals and making them happen.
What has worked for you so far and what hasn’t? Let me know in the comments here, please. I’d love to know!
ACTION
TODAY: Think about your New Year’s resolutions for this year. Where are you at with them? What has worked and what hasn’t? If you are in the 45% who have dropped their resolutions about now (end of January) don’t despair, you can still pick them up and make them happen.
FUTURE: As you are about to drop a resolution, think whether you are engaging in the myths or misconceptions mentioned above. It may be that you are… Commit to giving yourself a fair chance to make your resolutions happen by picking them up again. Don’t give up on you!
Know someone who would like to pick up his/her New Year’s resolutions? Please share this post with them via email, Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn, thank you!
by Helena Escalante | Accountability, Goals, Growth, Leadership, Mindset, Tools, Willpower
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 12 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: What is commitment?
— From The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader: Becoming the Person Others Will Want to Follow by John C. Maxwell
“Commitment separates the doers from the dreamers,” says John C. Maxwell in his book The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader. But what exactly is commitment? Much like success, the answer to this question is different for each person:
- To the boxer, it’s getting off the mat one more time than you’ve been knocked down.
- To the marathoner, it’s running another ten miles when you’re strength is gone.
- To the soldier, it’s going over the hill, not knowing what’s waiting on the other side.
- To the missionary, it’s saying good-bye to your own comfort to make life better for others.
- To the leader, it’s all that and more because everyone you lead is depending on you.
Whatever your definition, Maxwell offers three observations about commitment:
- Commitment always precedes achievement.
- The only real measure of commitment is action.
- In the face of opposition or hardship, commitment is the only thing that carries you forward.
And to improve commitment, Maxwell shares the following thoughts:
Measure your commitment. “Take out your calendar and your checkbook register. Spend a few hours tallying up how you spend you spend your time and how you spend your money. Look at how much time you spend at work, in service, with family, in health and recreation activities, and so forth. Figure out how much money you spent on living expenses, entertainment, personal development, and giving. All these things are true measures of your commitment. You may be surprised by what you find.”
Know what’s worth dying for. “One of the questions every leader must ask himself is, What am I willing to die for? If it came down to it, what in life would you not be able to stop doing, no matter what the consequences were? Spend some time alone meditating on that thought. Write down what you discover. Then see if your actions match your ideals.”
Use the Edison method. “If taking the first step toward commitment is a problem, try doing what Thomas Edison did. When he had a good idea for an invention, he would call a press conference to announce it. Then he’d go into his lab and invent it. Make your plans public, and you might be more committed to following through with them.”
I’ll leave you with a great story from Maxwell’s book to fuel your commitment, because it’s only you who can do that. “Former pro basketball player Bill Bradley attended a summer basketball camp at age fifteen conducted by “Easy” Ed Macauley. During that camp, Macauley made a statement that changed Bradley’s life: ‘Just remember that if you’re not working at your game to the utmost of your ability, there will be someone out there somewhere with equal ability. And one day you’ll play each other, and he’ll have the advantage.’ How do you measure up to that standard?”
And speaking of commitment, I had a crazy idea and shared it with you in another email that I sent earlier. Check out that email, and I’ll hope you’ll join me in committing to end 2018 strong!
ACTION
TODAY: Follow the exercise that Maxwell suggests to see where your commitments are based on your schedule and checkbook. What does this tell you?
FUTURE: Think about your commitments. Which ones do you love and gladly commit to them every day? Which ones do you not love, but commitment carries you through and you don’t even question them? Which ones are you half-heartedly or not-at-all committed to? Can you drop these last ones in favor of those you love? Or find someone who can do a better job than you to take over in this area, thus freeing you to commit in other areas?
Know someone who is fully committed to something? Please share this post with that person, he or she deserves recognition for being a doer, hats off! Email, Facebook or Twitter.
by Helena Escalante | Goals, Leadership, Mindset, Miniseries, Opportunity, Planning, Productivity, Resolutions, Time, Tools, Willpower
Links to other parts of this miniseries:
How to find 5 extra hours per week – Part 1
How to find 5 extra hours per week – Part 2
How to find 5 extra hours per week – Part 3
How to find 5 extra hours per week – Part 4
How to find 5 extra hours per week – Part 5
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 46 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: How to find 5 extra hours per week – Part 6
— From Learning to Lead: Bringing Out the Best in People by Fred Smith (1915-2007)
We’ve come to the end of this miniseries on how to find a minimum of 5 extra hours per week based on the recommendations of the book Learning to Lead. I hope you have learned a lot of different ways that will help you make the most of your time emergency, that way you’ll be able to crush it when you decide to go into monk mode!
Let’s look at the last 3 concepts from Fred Smith’s 20-point checklist:
18. Put curiosity on hold. This is an important one. Smith emphasizes that we are strapped for time we must swallow curiosity and not ask questions. He says, “I make statements [instead]. Normally in good human relations we ask questions. But if we want to save time, we don’t. If we ask, ‘How’s your mother-in-law?’ it often takes some time to hear the whole sad story. It’s just as warm to say, ‘Hey, I’m glad to see you,’ and keep going… [Or if] I see a group in the hallway… and I enter the conversation, I’ll stay and talk—and there goes my time… Curiosity costs a lot of time.”
19. Stay out of sight. The author advises to lay low: “I try to curb my exposure during a time of emergency. If I stay out of people’s sight, I don’t have to offend them with my hurry.” Work out of home fully or partially if you can for this period of time, or stay out of sight in whatever way works best for you.
20. Leave meetings first. The author relays having fun with many an executive on this point. He says, “I tell them the most important person in the meeting leaves it first. Once I finish my speech, that remark empties the hall faster than anything I’ve used before.” And this is actually true: “The most productive people leave a meeting first. They don’t stand around shaking hands and swapping stories… People hang around a meeting to be liked, not to accomplish anything. The business is done; only the social frills are left. […] Busy people using a time battle plan can’t afford the leisure.’
And there you have it. Now you have the full 20-point checklist to create a battle plan if you ever decide to declare a time emergency. As good as it sounds, the author warns us again, “This plan is not at all about how to speed up. [You] are already going fast enough. What I’m getting at is how to gain some time… you ought to use part of it for loafing. If you’re already panicky, harried, frantic and worn out from the pressure, don’t spend your new time doing more work, or you’ll be right back in the same problem. […] If every time you get an hour you fill it up, you’ll have no concept of what a normal lifestyle is.”
As far as how to use our time, Smith shares some wise advice, “we need to move beyond fighting battles, losing them, fighting again, losing again, and fighting once more. We must move to a new way of life. Waging a battle is certainly better than not winning at all. But battles remain second-best to achieving a lifestyle where we stop worrying about time control… I’ve provided a battle plan. It will work in a pinch. How much better to win the war.”
“Wisdom is the power to put our time and our knowledge to the proper use.” – Thomas J. Watson
I hope you enjoyed this miniseries and learned a lot. What was your biggest takeaway? Let me know in the comments here.
ACTION
TODAY: As you put in place these 20 points for going into monk mode, don’t forget the importance of loafing, as the author says. Resting, exercising and spending time with your loved ones are all important activities, make sure you include them in your newfound hours.
FUTURE: As you go through this time emergency mode over the next few weeks, keep a list of the lessons you learn. At the end of the period review it. Using the war analogy of the author, I’m sure this list will be helpful to point you in the direction of how you can win the war as opposed to focusing on fighting a battle again and again.
Know someone who could use an additional 5 hours per week during a time emergency? Please share this post or the entire miniseries with that person. Thank you! Email, Facebook or Twitter.
by Helena Escalante | Goals, Leadership, Mindset, Miniseries, Opportunity, Planning, Productivity, Resolutions, Time, Tools, Willpower
Links to other parts of this miniseries:
How to find 5 extra hours per week – Part 1
How to find 5 extra hours per week – Part 2
How to find 5 extra hours per week – Part 3
How to find 5 extra hours per week – Part 4
How to find 5 extra hours per week – Part 6
Estimated reading time: 4 minutes, 6 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: How to find 5 extra hours per week – Part 5
— From Learning to Lead: Bringing Out the Best in People by Fred Smith (1915-2007)
Good morning! How is your time crunch coming along? I hope you are indeed finding/making additional time. So far the points in this miniseries from Fred Smith’s list have focused mainly on external situations or dealing with others. But what about our internal selves and our outcomes? This is as important—if not more—than anything else we’ve seen so far.
Let’s look at how to deal with our energy, our work, and our mind when we are in a time emergency so that we can, optimally, find a minimum of 5 extra hours each week.
14. Protect personal energy. Becoming stressed and pressured for time cuts down energy and alertness, says Smith. “Since I work so much more efficiently when alert, I must protect my energy when time is scarce [so that effectiveness doesn’t suffer].” He emphasizes the importance of sleep, and also says, “I find it very important during such a time to eat less and exercise more.” In terms of the workload, Smith reminds himself, “not to try to accomplish more by overworking. What I can do in fifteen hours is not three times what I can accomplish in five.” Since a person can only have a certain number of productive hours during any given day, it’s important to make them count.
15. Schedule work according to productive hours. Each one of us knows when our most productive and effective hours are (check this miniseries to create the right environment to Be Awesomely Effective). Schedule your most creative and productive things for those hours. You’ll get the most important projects accomplished, and the work you get done will be much more than during the rest of the day.
Want to know when your peak time is? Ari Meisel, productivity guru and author of The Art of Less Doing, has a fantastic (and free!) app for smartphones. It’s called Less Doing Peak Time. Backed by science, Meisel designed it in a way that takes less than a minute every time you tap on it, and over the course of a week, you tap at different times and the app will let you know the window of time when you are at your most productive. Brilliant! (And so easy too!)
16. Compile a list of second-wind jobs. These are jobs that actually refresh you, pull you out of a lull and give you an energy boost or bring about a second wind, hence the name. Smith explains, “Second-wind jobs kill downtime and get me going. I like to do something exciting that I’ve really been waiting to work on… [These jobs] increase my utilization of time.”
17. Discipline self-talk. The author points out that all of us talk to ourselves. The important thing—especially during an emergency—is to discipline the details, and this includes our own self-talk, to focus on achieving the outcome we want. Smith relays an example: “Going to a meeting, I say to myself, What do I want to come out of the meeting with? It’s clear in my mind if I have talked it over with myself. I walk into the meeting with my agenda set and don’t waste time.”
Years ago, my friend Patti DeNucci, author of The Intentional Networker (we will see some ideas from that book in here soon), taught me the power of setting intentions before going into meetings, events, etc. Just as Smith asks above, as you are planning to go to an event/meeting, etc., ask yourself what your reason is for attending and set an intention. You will now have a purpose to be there and to work deliberately in making it happen. This is a great practice, not just for time crunches. Also, as you are approaching your entrance to the venue or meeting/conference room, remind yourself of your intention and you will be focused the whole time on accomplishing it before you leave. Try it out, it works wonders — thanks, Patti!
Come back tomorrow for the last part of this miniseries. We will learn, among other things, why it’s important to leave meetings first.
ACTION
TODAY: Attending a meeting? Going to an event? Having a conference call or just a plain business phone call? Set your intention. What do you want to get out of it? Then focus your time on making it happen. It always works (as long as it’s a good intention for all involved, of course!).
FUTURE: Make sure that you are taking appropriate care of your energy, stress and sleep over the next weeks while you are in monk mode. Go back to this miniseries on how to create 2 awesome hours of work every day. This will help you enormously to get through your time crunch and crush your goals effectively.
Know someone who could use an additional 5 hours per week during a time emergency? Please share this post with that person. Thank you! Email, Facebook or Twitter.
by Helena Escalante | Goals, Leadership, Mindset, Miniseries, Opportunity, Planning, Productivity, Resources, Time, Tools, Willpower
Links to other parts of this miniseries:
How to find 5 extra hours per week – Part 1
How to find 5 extra hours per week – Part 2
How to find 5 extra hours per week – Part 3
How to find 5 extra hours per week – Part 5
How to find 5 extra hours per week – Part 6
Estimated reading time: 4 minutes, 18 seconds.
TODAY’S IDEA: How to find 5 extra hours per week – Part 4
— From Learning to Lead: Bringing Out the Best in People by Fred Smith (1915-2007)
How is monk mode going? Are you making progress towards your 5 extra hours per week? I hope so!
I also hope that, as I share these ideas with you in this miniseries, you begin to see why it makes sense to apply them only when you are in a time crunch. Albeit, there are some points that I believe can be applied also at other times to make our work much more efficient, such as #11 below.
I’ll let you select your favorites from this installment of the 20-point checklist from Fred Smith’s book Learning to Lead. Happy monk mode!
9. Know your limitations. You do not have to meet with everybody that asks to see you. Smith tells a story of a person who wanted to go by and talk to him. Since he was busy, he asked, “What do you want to see me about?” And upon hearing the response, Smith realized he could not help him and did not see him. “I didn’t need to sit down and talk to him thirty minutes, and then disappoint him. I told him very quickly by phone, without being brutal.” Smith explains, “When I’m pressed for time I must pinpoint the counseling situations where I can uniquely help and then push the others to someone else. But a lot of times, we will see someone out of curiosity… just to find out the story.” Don’t give in to curiosity. Recognize you’re pressed for time and know your limitations.
10. Ask permission to say no. This is a brilliant approach if you’re concerned you’ll disappoint or seem rude by saying no. Smith explains, “When I need to decline something, I want to say no as simply and graciously as I can. When I ask for permission to decline, people generally give it to me. I don’t say ‘If you only knew how busy I am, you wouldn’t ask!’ I just say, ‘Let me ask a favor. May I say no?’ […] I handle it once, cleanly and clearly, and save a lot of time that way.”
11. Distinguish between information and relation. This book was written in 1986 when there was no email, chat, text messages, social media, etc., but the approach Smith mentions applies perfectly to today’s digital communications too. “Those who say to answer every letter when you receive it are missing a very important point. Mail and phone calls come in two kinds: information and relation. When I divide them up, I find most of my mail and calls are information. I can handle them once. But I don’t want my habit to cause me to handle relational things that way.” Smith says he takes care of providing the information that is required once, as it can be given at that point or later, and thus he avoids handling informational requests twice. However, if someone asks a personal question, he avoids saying the first thing that comes to mind: “I ask myself, How will this strike this person?” And given that this approach requires more time and energy to think about, he suggests postponing all relational questions until after your emergency period if you can.
12. Utilize [an assistant] for informational things. In today’s world of automation and optimization, you can use the help of an assistant. Be it an electronic device, an online program, a website, a Virtual Assistant that works remotely, or a person who works next to you, let them handle all requests for information.
13. Deal only with the “driving wheels.” Smith explains, “Every organization has some people whose thinking and action control everyone else’s thinking and action. In order to save time during a period of emergency, I only deal with these driving wheels. They may not be the title people. But if we know our organizations, we can identify the driving wheels and the people I call the ‘idling gears.’ […] If I’m in a hurry, I spend time only with the people who make things happen, who form the opinions. I put the other relationships on hold for a while.”
Come back tomorrow for another installment of this 20-point checklist where you will learn about creating a list that can help you make the most of your downtime during this crunch.
ACTION
TODAY: Think of a time in the past when you met with someone out of curiosity. Now think of the time when you met with someone for a specific purpose. Be aware of that part of you that gives in to curiosity so that, during this period, you are not tempted by it.
FUTURE: As you are moving through this period of time emergency, think about getting assistance for those things that you do that someone else could do, e.g., handle the requests for information. Give that some thought and implement the way it works best for you.
Know someone who could use an additional 5 hours per week during a time emergency? Please share this post with that person. Thank you! Email, Facebook or Twitter.
